start from the inside

music stim things:

• bouncin on ur toes bc u cant dance but u Also cant Not Dance

• systematic tapping ur fingers and hands like ur really the song mixer and this is a launchpad video

• my Hands…………………. The Conductor

• i wasnt thinking the right thought at the right time when the song did the thing now i gotta start it all over

• my tongue got tired from secretly singing along Inside My Mouth

• im so full of emotions now??? just from hearing this one really good note??? my chest feels like really happy balloon now AaaaAAAAAA???

• when u got ur headphones in and it hits the Good Frequency™ and everything is just Fantastic

4

A pining sap

Headcanon that the reason why the information in the three Journals wasn’t separated between them in any sort of chronological order is because Ford kept losing one or the other of them and just scribbling things down in whichever one came to hand first.

Please take care
of yourself,
not because
no one else will,
but for the reason
that love should
start from deep
within—
that somewhere
inside you
it must begin.
—  ma.c.a // Let it bloom
UPDATED: HOE PRODUCTS

I’ve been seeing a lot of these posts with the same damn products on all of them and I really feel like we’re recycling the same shit and there’s nothing new to read anymore which is part of the reason I made this account, to add my own remedies and routines in hope that it could help someone else~

African black soap-
Lemme tell you right now. Ditch whatever shit you’re using as a body wash RN and go cop some (RAW) African black soap. That shit is natural and is bursting with vitamin A and E. It helps with eczema too. I personally use Alaffia which also contains Shea butter and I use it everday. Love it and love my skin+it smells super fresh

Apple cider vinegar-
Add abt ¾ of a cup of ACV to your bath and let it work its magic. Its anti fungal and battles against body odor. It makes your hair shiny and is considered a skin detox bath, I personally experience softer skin. ALSO it resets your pH and fights again vaginal odor and yeast infections naturally too.

Jojoba oil-
Jojoba oil is the oil that everyone thinks coconut oil is. It is a natural moisturizer for hair and skin and it works way better than coconut oil could ever hope to do!!

Coconut oil-
Let me tell u something. In a previous post I copied a message on of my followers sent me abt coconut oil being horrible for your hair because it breaks down proteins. It got a lot of positive and negative feed back, some saying I was trying to speak for them or leave out black hair, no that is not the case. I simply copied a message and released it for public knowledge cause im here to HELP YOU NOT HURT YOU! I’m sorry if I offended anyone~ but coconut oil, regardless of hair, is not the angelic product everyones made it out to be. STOP PUTTING THAT SHIT ON YOUR SKIN IT CLOGS PORES. I use it to oil pull, its a natural way to remove the toxins from your mouth and it also whitens your teeth. You put abt a teaspoon or less of coconut oil in your mouth and swish for a minute or 2. Love that shit my teeth are so white. But other than that I wouldnt put that shit on my hair or skin, unless you’re shaving your legs or sometin. Although I do put it on my pussy after I shave and idk what i’d do without it. But coconut oil is NOT for everything.

Rose water-
Sorry for the extremely long coconut oil excerpt lol this one’s short. Rose water can be used as a toner/makeup setter. It controls oil and hydrates your skin. It also has antioxidant and antibacterial properties. Its also good on dry/frizzy hair

Castor oil+Vitamin E oil-
Another 2 great oils. I’m lazy and didnt want to make another 2 oil sections lol but basically castor oil can be used on eyebrows/eyelashes to thicken them. Its also a natural laxative. Vitamin E oil is a great hair/skin moisturizer and heals scars.

Biotin-
If you arent taking biotin everyday I want you to go to your local pharmacy and cop a bottle because beauty starts from the inside. Its a hair skin nail vitamin and boosts healthy growth of hair/nails and keeps skin healthy. I do love it.

Charcoal soap-
Instead of using a typical bar of soap, invest in a charcoal one instead. Charcoal contains a powder called Binchōtan which cleanses and moisturizes skin. For all u natural bitches out there.

Also a lil side note~ for anyone who wants to comment to mine or any other ‘hoe tip’ posts saying “these are life tip not hoe tips” SHUT UP! We know! But these tips were originally for tips and products to be as sexy and well maintained as they can be. Usually before somekind of sex appointment. Let the hoes have this instead of trying to shame it

Writing, Neil Gaiman, and Kon Satoshi

I almost gave up writing altogether after reading Neil Gaiman’s The Sandman.

I didn’t read it as it was coming out in comics, but later, when it was published in collected volumes.

It was too perfect. Too complete. It seemed like it had sprung fully-formed from Gaiman’s head, and he had to spend years waiting for artists to catch up.

It was overwhelming. Unattainable.

I wasn’t reading the book’s post-scripts, though, because I wanted to avoid potential spoilers. I wanted to experience the material, not the author dissecting it.

I did read them on a second pass. There’s a story on Dream Country, the third volume, about a writer keeping a muse captive so she can give him ideas. It’s a piece with characters that tie into Morpheus’ past and who will come up again, woven into the larger narrative. The book also contains a post-script on how the story came about, where Gaiman states it was at first about a succubus, before moving on to talk about his process for working with the artist.

My eyes kept moving forward, brain storing words from the original script, but my consciousness had taken a step back.

Wait, back up, what was that character again? 
Who?
Calliope.
Originally a succubus, replies brain, let me keep going here.

Yes, stupid me. I had assumed Sandman had been gestating inside Gaiman from the start, waiting for an opportunity for the entire story to burst out. He didn’t transcribe a long epic he had already come up with. He wasn’t born with the tale. He worked at it for years, sometimes throwing away material and replacing it with things that fit better. Like a normal human being.

I keep making the same mistake. I wrote about a similar mental bug when talking about Kon Satoshi and Dream Fossil.

We only see the finished product. We don’t see the author sitting down at the typewriter and bleeding.

It’s all work. Some people have more potential and have it easier, others have to work harder at it, but in the end it’s only work. If you want a chance to get better at it, you should treat it as such.

FUTURE HEARTS | PT.6 [M]

pt1 | pt2 | pt3 | pt4 | pt5 | pt6 | (6/?)

pairing: jimin x reader, jungkook x reader

genre: smut, angst / punk!jikook

word count: 17,335

note: inspired by the anime/manga “Nana” / music playlist

description: It was everything, from his tattoos, to his touches, to the way sweat rolled down his neck as he strummed into his guitar on stage; everything about him completely enthralled you. So why are you now, two and a half years later, on a train to Seoul, telling a complete stranger the recollection of how you became fated to forever have scars on all of your future hearts due to the happiness, but most of all the pain, that came along with falling in love with Jeon Jungkook.

cr.


The slight tremble in Jimin’s fingertips developed into a full-blown tremor as he closed the door to his studio, effectively leaving you behind — but it wasn’t that simple. It wasn’t that simple because he wasn’t just leaving you behind. He was leaving you behind with a guy that you were completely in love with… Which kind of blowed considering he was starting to fall for you himself.

The music from the party was reverberating inside of his chest and he knew that his ears should be ringing with anger, but instead he just felt numb. It was like he couldn’t hear anything; no music, no crowd, nothing. It was all one giant blur that didn’t seem to make sense to him, and all because his mind was screaming that nothing else mattered right now — nothing except for you.

Jimin knew very well what leaving you in that room with Jungkook meant. It meant every single feeling that the two of you had ever had for each other would inevitably rekindle, and compared to what Jimin had with you, even if he did consider it one of most amazing stints of time of his entire life, it didn’t hold a candle to what you and Jungkook had, and probably always would have.

Keep reading

To be young

Title: To be young

Pairing: Reader x Peter Parker

Summary: Y/N has lived next to Peter since the 3rd grade and since has fallen hard for him, but Y/N doesn’t know he’s fallen just as hard. 

Word count: 2,145

Songs: Midnight City by M83, Uh huh by Julia Michaels

A/N: This is my first Imagine ever so I’m sorry for the grammar mistakes and if i messed up the point of view a little bit, I’m practicing and heres my first go at it! I hope you guys enjoy it! Also its not a concrete idea yet but i might make more parts to this 



  “Hey, MJ does Peter ever talk about me?” you ask staring across the lunch room at the boy you’ve had a crush on ever since you laid eyes on him in the 3rd grade. You hear Michelle sigh and close her book “Y/N just go over there and talk to him.” your eyes widen at your best friend for suggesting such a thing. “I can’t just go over there and talk to him without cause, plus..” you sigh sinking further into your seat at the lunch table “he likes Liz, remember?” Just before Michelle can get a word in about your lack of confidence towards guys, the bell rings signaling the end of lunch and beginning of the five minuet passing period to the next class.

You quickly gather your things heading out of the lunchroom and to your next class, gym.

“Hey, Y/N wait up!” you hear the familiar voice of Liz speak as everyone makes their way out of the locker rooms and into the main gym. You falter in your walk just a little hearing Liz say your name, you haven’t ever really been friends or even acquaintances with her since knowing that Peter has a crush on the girl. “Yes?” you smile as she slows her pace next to you “I’m having a party tomorrow night at my place, do you wanna come?” your mind goes blank for a minuet, Liz is asking me to her party? what? “I already asked Michelle if she could come and she said you were free so i thought i’d ask.” Liz practically read your mind, so Michelle is to blame, she’s gonna pay. “Yea, sure I’ll come, it sounds fun.” She smiles before she runs off ahead of you. “Hey Flash,” You hear her shout before she vanishes into the crowd of teenagers.

“Alright, well i think he’s a war criminal now but these are state required so lets get to work .” The gym teacher spoke after the video of Captain America ended waving his hand for everyone to get down from the bleachers and take their places on the mats.

You finally spot Michelle in the crowd of teenagers and grabbed ahold of her arm before she could lay on a mat. “Hey could we be partners?” You ask letting go of your bestie laying on the mat, “Mind if we take this mat next to you guys?” A voice that made your heartstrings tingle spoke, you quickly turn your head to see Peter laying down and getting ready to go his first sit-up. “No-not at all.” you blush and turn on your other side to come face to face with a book “Michelle” You groan louder than intended, “We’re suppose to be doing sit-ups.” You grab the book tilting it away from her face, Michelle sighs and turns on her back pushing her book up and down from her face “There happy, I’m exercising now.” She mumbled making you laugh slightly.

“Hey what about Spider-Man?” You sit up and whip your head around to the bleachers where a certain group of popular girls were sitting, “What about him Liz? You got a crush?” a friend of hers teased, “Well I mean yes he’s pretty hot but he’s also a hero you can’t leave him out.” You could see a slight pink shade her cheeks after she spoke.

“Hey, uh Peter knows Spider-Man!” Ned practically yelled from the mat next to you, what? how does Peter know Spider-Man? I mean maybe he got saved by him? But what? You were pulled from your thoughts when Peter spoke, “Well Uh  we-wel yes i do, because of the Stark internship i have but i’m not suppose to talk about it.” Peter spoke through gritted teeth when he ended his sentence. “Wait Penis Parker knows Spider-Man? And has a Stark internship? Wow this is too good, what other lies ya got?” Flash finally joined the conversation. You sighed and turned your attention back to laying down and staring at the ceiling till the end of the period.

“Well if you know him so well why don’t you invite him to Liz’s party tomorrow night?” Flash asked sarcasm clear in his voice, “Wait-wait Liz is having a party?” You perked up again at the sound of Peter’s slightly hurt voice. “Yeah, tomorrow night, my parents are out of town, you and Ned are more than welcome to come and you don’t gotta bring Spider-Man.” You could practically hear the smile in Peters voice when he replied “No-No yeah I’d love to come.” You rolled your eyes and tried to drown out the rest of the conversation.

“Okay, see ya tomorrow.” Liz spoke before the bell rang, finally. You make your way back to the locker room and change out of the gym uniform and into your regular clothes.

Well tomorrow night should be interesting, I wonder if Peter really knows Spider-Man you smile at the thought, that’d be fucking awesome.

Michelle and you took the bus together after school planning on having a sleepover and carpooling to Liz’s party the next day. “I can’t believe you already said i would go without asking me.” you lightly punch Michelle on the arm while getting ready for bed. “Hey what better things do you have going on tomorrow, staring at peter though the peep hole of your apartment again?” Michelle teased, you gasped and placed your hand on your heart pretending to be hurt by the comment. “Michelle that is an important activity and I cannot miss it.” You dramatically said and plopped down onto your bed for the night, the couch. Michelle and you always sleep on her couch for sleepovers, its big enough and comfy as hell.

“Oh whatever Y/N.” she groaned taking her place on the couch and turning on the tv. Within minuets your eyes start to get heavy, you finally give into the sleep tugging at you and fall asleep.


“Thanks for the ride!” you shout at Michelle’s dad before Michelle slams the car door shut. MJ and you start towards the front door already hearing the loud music coming from inside. “Michelle are you sure about this?” You ask grabbing her arm forcing her to stop and look at you “Look Y/N, when are you ever gonna do something like this ever again. Plus, its all apart of the high school experience.” She shrugged making her way to the front door and inside with you trailing behind her.

You were immediately greeted by Liz and shown the way to the kitchen “incase you need something to drink” Liz told you leaving you and focused her attention back onto the party. “Ok so now I Just wait for something to happen?” you spoke to yourself as you grabbed a red solo cup and filled it with water from the fridge. You made your way out of the kitchen and to the couch in the living room, where did MJ go? I’m like the only other person besides Liz she knows here so where - your thoughts were interrupted when your eyes met with the chocolatey eyes of the boy you’ve been waiting for all night.

You smile towards Peter earning a grin back from him before his attention was sent somewhere else, probably Flash shouting “wheres your friend Spider-man? I don’t see him..” You rolled your eyes and made your way over to the duo standing in the middle of the hallway, “Hey hey guys,” you nervously spoke “Finally made it.” you smiled over at Ned, his attention on the rest of the party and not you. “Yeah we got-” Peter got interrupted by a shout from the family room “If you wanna play a game come to the family room now!” you felt a hand wrap around your arm before you could protest you were in the family room seated next to Liz, Peter diagonally across from you with ned next to him and Michelle on your other side.

“Alright,” you heard Liz speak next to you “what game should we play.” a couple of hands flew up in the air and some people shouted suggestions. “How about Seven Minuets In Heaven?!” one voice shouted louder than the others, you looked over at Liz to see she was already ginning with a bottle being handed to her. “Seven Minuets In Heaven it is.” She quickly snapped her head over at you “Y/N, you spin first.” she shoved the bottle into your hand.

“No-no I’m really fine-” you didnt get to finish when you felt a sharp pain in your side from Michelle, your head spun to her side giving her a “what the hell!” look and receiving a shrug in response. You sucked in a breath, all apart of the high school experience right? you tried to reason with yourself. You put the bottle on its side on the ground and spun it, your heat begins beating faster and faster as it comes to a slow down. The bottle finally comes to a stop and your eyes rake up to where it landed, Peter Parker.

You gulped waiting for his reaction as people around him whopped for him but he just sat there eyes wide. “come one you too!” Liz sounded so gleeful and lightly shoved my shoulder for me to get up. Peter must’ve took that as a hint as well and stood up “Wher-uh What closet should we go to?” Peter asked clearing his voice. “the one right at the top of the stairs, we’ll make sure no one goes in.” Liz smiled at Peter and you while you made your way up the stairs. Oh god, what am i going to do, what if he doesn’t want to do anything with me? what if he kisses me and I’m not a good kisser or my breathe stinks- you were ripped out of your thoughts as the closet door was closed and Peter and you were left in the dark.

“uh we-we don’t have to do anything.” you whispered barely audible as you watched Peter set a timer on his phone for seven minuets. “Wh-why don’t we ask each other questions?” Peter asked making a blush creep onto your face, thank god this closet is dark and peters phone light is horrible. “sure-e” you nervously stutter, “you first.” you poke his chest earning a small laugh from him. “Okay, is it true that you have a 4.0 grade average?” You couldn’t help the laugh that  escaped your lips, “What?” Peter asked you could hear the confusion in his voice, “thats the question you wanna ask?” you placed your hand on Peters arm, what am I doing? I’m movign way too fast, “Is that bad?” Peter moved closer to you making you back up into the wall of the closet, your smile fading and a deeper bush replacing it. “uh-no no, I’d just rather not answer it.” You spoke truthfully, “alright,” you could see the smile form on peters face as he inched closer to you.

“your turn.” he whispered making your breath hitch in your throat, he’s so close, if i just move forward slightly i’d finally have my first kiss and with the guy of my dreams, you thought. “you got a question yet?” Peters smile started fading looking into your eyes, “uh- yes, did you really make your own computer?” your eyes scanned peters, he’s so close you can see his beautiful brown ombre iris’s, dark brown to a slightly lighter brown. Your breath hitched in your throat again as Peter flashed his eyes down to your lips for a split second. You start to lean into him, closer and closer to his face when your lips just barely graze each other and then Peters phone goes off.

He jumped back slightly from the sudden noise and looked down at his phone, “Has it already been seven minuets?” You laugh slightly feeling embarrassed for getting so intimate with Peter. “No..” he paused looking up from his phone and into your eyes “But i gotta, I’m really sorry Y/N, I gotta go.” He shook his head slightly before opening the closet and leaving you behind. you stood there shocked, not able to move. Peter and I almost kissed was all you could think as a deep blush crept back onto your face.

You exited the closet and went to see if you could find him at the party anywhere. you got a few weird looks after asking some people if they saw him anywhere but no one could help, not even Ned knew where Peter went.

“Well it’s too bad, we didn’t even get to see his ‘friend’ Spider-Man.” Flash spoke sarcastically to you, you just turned around to go look for MJ and tell her about what had happened, how you almost kissed your life long crush and how he almost kissed you back.

Why is no one talking about this?

(Note: this is a long-winded rant(?) about a genuinely minuscule thing that really is just an excuse to nerd out, so if you’re into that, too, keep reading! Otherwise, you might not be that impressed. )

Yup, still on the My Hero Academia bender. Followers may have picked up my obsession over this purple-haired character named Shinsou in particular, but let me tell you that this character has less than some 20 pages in the manga and less than 20 minutes of screen time in the anime and is already more nuanced, complex, and emotionally compelling in that time than most of the characters in the protagonist’s immediate circle.

There are character analyses out there that do a great job of explaining all those points (this is one of the best I’ve seen and you should probably read that first and come back: http://manipulatorshinsou.tumblr.com/post/166609989279/the-appeal-of-shinsou-hitoshi-analyses), but I want to point out a tiny detail that I feel like almost no one has explicitly brought up that says something so enormous about his character arc that, though redundant at this point, is such a small but lovingly crafted detail that it really encapsulates one of my favorite things about this series - subtle emotional storytelling.


Now, there’s mild spoilers for all this, but you REALLY should go watch/read this series at some point anyway. However, I wanted to point something out that’s unique to the anime adaptation. Though some details often get left out in the adaptation process or are edited to fit film storyboarding rather than comics, film has a distinct advantage over manga in two areas - color and space.

Now, the entire point of Shinsou and Midoriya’s duel in the Tournament Arc was to draw multiple direct parallels to each character and highlight the major and really only significant difference between them - luck. In the end, both must fight an uphill battle above and beyond what would be expected of them to achieve their dream; but unlike Midoriya, Shinsou loses and his dreams are dashed. He’s no longer just disillusioned with the popularity games of hero society - he becomes discouraged and disheartened completely from having every last effort and every last plan easily pushed aside from someone more fortunate than him despite his efforts to appear confident and intimidating and to put his rivals off-balance.

Originally posted by fadingsoulss

Midoriya knows exactly the kind of struggle Shinsou has been through, and half the battle was to keep himself from trying to comfort Shinsou, not just because of All Might’s secret, but because they were rivals fighting for their own individual dreams, and attempting to help him would have resulted in Midoriya losing the match and the tournament. He also knew that after the fact there was nothing he could have said to Shinsou that would have given him comfort. Despite every amazing effort, he would once again be put down - the loser who just has to deal with the cruel reality of life.

Okay, nerd analysis time!

MHA is amazing at being emotionally compelling. They hit just the right line of performance, framing, and music to make you feel exactly what it wants you to. The example in particular I want to bring up is this scene (that legit put my husband -who is very much a “manly man”- in tears when he watched it).

Originally posted by cloud-and-tifa

At this point, Midoriya is told by the person he looks up to and admires more than literally anyone else in the world that regardless of his past inability to even come close to reaching his goals he still had the power to become a hero because of something beside and far beyond just having a powerful quirk.

And Midoriya is broken and in tears.

The cherry blossoms are a detail unique to the anime regarding this scene (Chapter 1) and really serve to add to the drama of it - particularly because of the saturation of color and the cultural significance of the Japanese sakura: the beauty and fleeting nature of youth, the coming of spring, and renewal. The Japanese consider the falling of the cherry blossoms to be a reminder that “it’s time to pay attention to what’s happening right now!”

Midoriya has finally experienced his own blossoming as a hero. Based on the scene in this episode and the direction the petals are falling insinuate that this feeling is all around him. His hero is standing over him and telling him that he can become just as great as he is. Everything at that moment has come together to recognize his dream.

Fast forward to Shinsou’s flashback at the tournament:

Originally posted by lawlu

Absolutely the cherry blossoms are there, and it’s even clear in the manga that there are cherry blossoms outside the class window. However, what happens in this scene is that Shinsou recollects a point in his life that he considers to be the epitome of his struggle.

“Whoa, Shinsou! That’s a really cool quirk! Just don’t use it on us and make us your slaves, okay?”

“Heh, everybody says that…” 

And the scene goes grey. This should have been his chance to break out and come closer to his dream, but that wasn’t the case. No color, no focus- just a blurred, painful memory to encapsulate the seemingly inescapable feeling of defeat as he lays on the ground, out of bounds, so close but yet so far once again…

And then-

~~~~~~

“You’re amazing, Shinsou!”

“You’re the shining star of General Studies!”

“His quirk is so powerful and can be so useful in capturing villains!”

“What a waste that he’s stuck in General Studies!”

“I wish I had a quirk like that!”

Originally posted by allenzwalker

No “what a scary quirk” or “I hope he doesn’t use it for his own purposes”! Just:

“Look at what an amazing hero he could be!”

Originally posted by sajoou

Did you see it?

There isn’t a cherry tree for miles around this arena. Everything for so long has been against him from the start. The fire inside him has all but been snuffed out yet again. This should be like every other disappointment he’s had to endure, and yet somehow it isn’t - against every odd.

He may have lost. He may have fallen short, but his real goal has been realized. He’s been seen. It’s time to pay attention to what’s happening right now.  Shinsou has blossomed.

It’s not as flashy or spectacular as Midoriya’s, but it’s just as significant. In fact, it’s exactly the same, regardless of how big it shows on the outside - Midoriya and Shinsou are the same, and they’ve both made it.

Again, this detail of the single petal falling isn’t in the manga (Chapter 34), but it was even more emotionally impactful to me than Midoriya’s awakening because I immediately saw the parallel. I feel that many did, too; but the choice to have the one fall into frame hit me where it counted. It almost wasn’t there, but it was!

I’m done rambling at this point, but really if you haven’t at least checked out this series yet, I highly encourage you to - even if you don’t like normally like anime! Most of the elements that tend to put me off of a lot of popular series are minimal or non-existent, and though it still uses major tropes in the shonen genre it has a tendency to go above and beyond philosophically, intellectually, and emotionally than it has to. It’s not a good anime. It’s a well-written and impactful story!

BTS LOVE YOURSELF ‘HER’ Greeting for QQ Music
(video cr. hyodan_00)

[Video Trans]: NJ: QQ Music’s fans and friends. BTS: Hello everyone, we are BTS! NJ: BTS’s new album《LOVE YOURSELF 承'Her'》is here to meet everyone at QQ Music! SJ: This album is the first album of the LOVE YOURSELF series that’ll be continued to next year! YG: Yes, the title song <DNA> describes youth thats sentimental and full of domineering love. It includes the message of “Between us, from creation, fated, two becoming one started from DNA.” HS: As well as that, inside there’s <Best Of Me> our collaboration with the worldwide sensation The Chainsmokers. <Dimple>, <Pied Piper>, <Mic Drop>, <Go Go>, Intro <Serendipity>, Outro <Her> etc. 11 recorded songs combined to fulfill this album, hope everyone will give us lots of support! TH: We are very happy to meet everyone at QQ Music this time, to be able to bring a new album, new music and new senses! JM: Hope you’ll continue to support us, love us! BTS: Thank you everyone! See you at QQ Music~

Trans cr: Nadia @ allforbts
© Please take credit when taking out 

ORGANIZING YOUR GRIMOIRE (tips from a neat freak virgo)

okay i’ve been meaning to make this post for awhile bc i’ve seen some great ideas for grimoire organization, and i want to share the way i’m keeping track of all the pages in mine without worrying about the order in which i write them down

the trick: indexing. this is a technique lifted straight from bullet journaling. in fact, my grimoire has started to take form inside my regular bullet journal, so i’ve added a separate index page specifically for my witch-relevant content. this is cool because it’s like my grimoire is kind of hidden within a mundane exterior 👍🏻

here are the two steps:

1. number your pages as you go, and
2. add each page to your index as you write it

you could go further than this and add indices specifically for each type of content, like an index just for spell pages, an index for tarot pages, etc. - my preference is just to label each entry with a category so that they’re easier to skim. you can also add other signifiers like my asterisks to mark my own original content vs. information gathered from other sources. color coding would also work well here! and when you fill it up, you can either keep a couple pages at one place reserved for indexing, OR just start a new one on the next available page and enter it as the last line of your old index.

the reason i like this system is that it allows me to work in a fixed notebook where i can’t add pages (i really love notebooks), but frees me from my perfectionist fear of having information end up disorganized. it doesn’t bother me if pages on the same topic end up in different parts of the notebook because my index keeps them organized! i’m less likely to put off adding info until i know where it ‘should go’ so ultimately i end up being more productive, too.

i’m sure there are others who have similar setups but i thought some people might find this helpful 💕

ELEMENTAL HOUSE CLEANSE
  • Fire - sit down and relax. Let pure universal energy enter through the top of your head and let it connect with your own life force. Once it’s connected and working together imagine a small flame spreading from the inside of you. It can start anywhere you’d like, the center of your stomach, your head, your palms, your legs, anywhere that feels comfortable. This is not a fire that destroys and burns, this is a pleasant fire that makes you feel loved and warm. Once you’ve set yourself on fire, once you’ve felt the flame all around and inside your body, slowly let it spread on the inside of your house. This can be done with a slow small flame, or a violent huge one. Just let everything burn, imagine the fires cleansing properties burning away all the nastiness inside your house. Imagine ashes flying everywhere, and all the negativity burning away into nothingness once it’s been touched by the flames.
  • Water - sit down and relax. Let pure universal energy enter through the top of your head and let it connect with your own life force. Once it’s connected and working together imagine yourself as a fluid body. See and feel the cool refreshing touch of water on your body. Feel the fluidity inside yourself. Then imagine huge water, huge waves, flooding your house, pushing everything it comes in contact with. Let it mess up your house. See this water, running from one door to another, flooding everything, and destroying everything just like a tsunami would. Imagine this pure, clean and clear water gathering all the negativity in itself, taking it away with her. When you’re done, imagine one window or more, or a door open in your house and let the water go away.
  • Earth -  sit down and relax. Let pure universal energy enter through the top of your head and let it connect with your own life force. Once it’s connected and working together imagine huge roots bursting through your floor, intertwining all around your body. Once they’ve intertwined imagine them giving birth to flowers while all around you. Imagine these intertwined roots going all around the walls, the windows, your mirrors, your table, your bed. Imagine beautiful moist soil pouring out of the holes left by the roots. Imagine this soil filling up your house, gathering in itself all that is no longer needed and negative. Imagine transforming that negativity into something beautiful. Imagine the poisonous bad energies transforming into love and light inside the earth. Once they’ve transformed imagine this earth giving birth to more beautiful light green roots, leaves, and the most beautiful flowers you’ve ever seen. Let your whole house fill up with these beautiful flowers and roots, replenishing everything in your house. Feel the flowery scent all around you. When you’re done imagine all these roots and earth slowly going back into the whole where they came from, leaving everything intact but cleansed and fresh.
  • Air -  sit down and relax. Let pure universal energy enter through the top of your head and let it connect with your own life force. Once it’s connected and working together imagine violent winds forcing their way in your house through the window. Imagine these winds entering and bursting through like a hurricane through your house. Even though they are violent, they are here to help and leave everything in a better place.They’re coming straight for you. They start whirling around you, you can feel it’s pleasant coolness on your skin. You can hear the sounds of the wind. They are so strong, yet so caring and pleasant. As they whirl harder and stronger around you, they lift you up in the air, whirling even harder than before. Now, imagine them turning to the rest of your house. Imagine them leaving a mess wherever they touch. All of your notebooks are in the air, your tarot cards are flying everywhere, your clothes go all around the place, your crystals fly from one wall to another. Let these fresh and cool winds clean your place. Once you’re done, imagine these winds leaving through the window they came from.
Sick love

Word count: 1.722

Request: Yes

Warnings: Too much loving


“My head is pounding”, you whined and you swore it was like ten axes were inside your skull and wanted you dead in a matter of seconds. It was the worst headache you’ve ever had and you didn’t have the slightest idea why it was like that. You weren’t hangover. On the contrary, you had a blissful night in with your boyfriend, and nothing peculiar had happened for you to feel that way. So, this situation only left you with unanswered questions.

“Still bad?”, your sister asked you and you flinched at the volume of her voice. She was speaking naturally, but your headache made it feel like she was shouting at the top of her lungs.

“Please keep your voice down, you are killing me”, you said and your sister got up to touch your forehead. With that simple gesture she had her answers.

“Well, it looks like you are coming down with a cold Y/N”, she said seriously and you shivered. You hated being sick and that was the last thing you wanted. It was still summer and you would spend your days drinking that prescribed syrup along with eating those disgusting soups. Apart from that, you didn’t want to force Harry to stay in with you. He would like to go out or have a nice time at the park but he would have to take care of nauseas and fevers. It was just unfair for him.

“No this can’t be happening”, you complained and your sister placed her hands on her hips. She was trying not to laugh at your state but she didn’t do a good job at hiding it. She burst out giggling and you threw a cushion at her, hitting her directly at the head.

“I guarantee you it hurt”, your sister ironically said and she went to the kitchen. She had to leave in some minutes but she couldn’t leave you behind like that all alone. So she phoned Harry.

“Harry speakin’, who’s this?”, he said through the speaker and your sister whispered.

“Hi Harry, it’s me, Y/S/N. Just wanted to let you know that Y/N might be coming down with a cold. She already has a fever and-“, she was interrupted by you screaming that you wanted to vomit and she corrected her previous sentence.

“Scratch that. She has a fever and she has started vomiting already. I have to go in some minutes so I thought I needed to fill you in”, your sister finished and she heard shuffling at the other end of the line.

“Be right there in five. Try to calm her a bit yeah? Thank yeh Y/S/N”, he said and hung up. Your sister came into the bathroom, where you were brushing your teeth, to get rid of the ugly taste.

“Thank God mom is not here”, your sister joked and your eyes widened at her statement. Your mom overreacted over the simplest of things. When you or your sister were ill, she would just call the doctor every single hour to inform him of your condition and she made sure you had all the medicine you needed. You appreciated her caring, but it would be too much sometimes.

“Don’t even joke about it. It is unhealthy”, you wiped your mouth with the towel and followed your sister in the living room where you both sat down on the couch.

“Y/N, I really need to go. Jason wants to go pick up a gift for his mother’s birthday and I can’t miss it. Promise me you won’t go around spilling soup”, she pleaded and you flipped her off.

“I will be dead in a matter of hours so no soup is going to be all over the place”, you answered and your sister sighed. You had the tendency to overreact when you were sick and no one could handle that. Your sister included.

“Okay I am going to start preparing your funeral then”, and that had always been her answer since day one. You and your sister had a weird kind of relationship. You would go on and compliment each other but you would flip each other off whereas when you would offend each other you would hug and bro fist one another. People were always confused.

“Say hi to Jason”, you tried to say before rushing to the bathroom to empty your stomach for the second time that day.

“Be sure I will”, your sister said more to herself than to you and got into her car, ready to go meet her boyfriend. Speaking of a boyfriend, Harry was on his way and he had tried to contact you but you hadn’t used your phone that day meaning it was still turned off. When he stepped foot in the house, he stopped himself from calling your name when he saw you curled up on the sofa, tissues all over you and your restless face giving away your exhaustion and pain.

“Meh poor girl”, he said and kicked off his shoes before making his way to you. You had grabbed a blanket from your room and had it wrapped around you. You were practically like a sneezing ball. Your head perked up at the sound of the door opening and closing and when you saw Harry, you snuggled closer to the blanket.

“Don’t get closer Harry, you will be sick too”, you cried out, but your voice came out muffled because of the blanket. Harry kept coming towards you nonetheless and he kneeled in front of you.

“This isn’t gonna stop meh love. How many times have yeh run to the bathroom?”, he softly asked you and you melted at his voice. He was trying to soothe you and it worked pretty well.

“Twice so far. But there’s more coming I tell you”, you said and leaned your head backwards. You wanted to sleep and Harry quite caught that.

“Okay tell yeh what. I will go upstairs and ran yeh a bath. Yeh will relax and I will call the doctor to tell meh what to do with meh sick girl. Sounds okay?”, he said and he picked you up bridal style. You found the opportunity to lean against his warm chest and breathe in his scent. You could stay there, in his arms, for an eternity and there was no lie in this statement.

When you entered your bedroom, he gently placed you on the bed, and he disappeared in the bathroom to set the right temperature for your bath. You placed your head on your pillow and sleep started taking over when Harry reappeared from inside the bathroom and scooped you up.

“No sleep yet baby. Your bath is waitin’ fo’ yeh”, he said and placed you in front of the bathroom door.

“Yeh go in there and treat yourself whereas I talk to the doctor alright?”, he turned to leave but you stopped him. You knew it would be better if he was there to take care of you. He always did. And he was so good at it.

“Mind if I change the plans a bit?”, you innocently asked and Harry grinned.

“Tell meh babygirl”, he indicated for you to go on.

“Why don’t you take a shower with me? If there’s someone who can calm me, that’s you Harry”, you spoke and you were truthful. There was no dirty intention in your proposal. You just wanted to relax with your boyfriend.

“Thought yeh never ask”, he said and slowly took your clothes off, caressing the exposed skin he could find ever so softly, careful not make you feel any more pain. He took his clothes off as well, and got into the bathtub after you. You sat between his legs and he stated kissing your back and neck, in a soothing manner, knowing you would feel slightly better. And he was right. The water was perfect and Harry tried his best to take your mind of off your sickness. He grabbed the shampoo and started massaging your scalp in an attempt to calm you.

“Just what I needed. Thank you so much love”, you said and closed your eyes, cherishing the feeling of Harry’s massaging skills. You started scrubbing your body and Harry snatched the sponge from your hands.

“Nah ah. I will take care of yeh baby. Don’t yeh worry”, he said, kissing your shoulder before he replaced some gel on the sponge. The water was running by now, and you were lost in the purity of the moment. Harry always wanted to make you feel good and he always said it was like a repayment for what you had done for him all along. After some time, he water had run cold so he took hold of your towel before wrapping it lovingly around your tired frame before he did the same with his towel on him.

“Time fo’ pyjamas babe”, he smiled lazily and he moved towards the closet, grabbing an old T-shirt of his and your favourite bottoms with little bears imprinted on them. You had worn your undergarments already and you were waiting for your pyjamas to be passed to you but Harry had other plans.

“Let meh”, he stroked your arms, while he placed your arms in front of you and put the shirt on you. He then, stroked your thighs and legs gently, like you were going to disappear or like you were the most fragile thing in the entire world. He made you feel loved. There was no denying in that. When he was done, he kissed you passionately but you distanced yourself.

“Harry, I am sick!”, you said and he smiled.

“Did that stop meh back in the shower? Don’t mind meh love. I am not that sensitive like yeh are”, he said and you tugged at his shirt.

“If that’s the case, cuddle me then”, you said and yawned. Harry placed himself on the bed and you hugged him tightly, while he played with your hair; just like you preferred it.

“I love you Harry”, you suddenly said and Harry smiled in your hair.

“I love meh sick girl too”.

And just like that, you fell asleep, feeling secure in his embrace and wishing that you could freeze time and stay like that for what seemed like forever; in each others’ loving arms.


Ugh guys, this is so sweet. Where has Harry been all the times I was ill? Before I drag my whining ass away, let me thank that person for requesting this and making me die in the most gentle way possible. Requests are still open and I am waiting for your crazy ideas people! (P.S. Harry is treating us so well lately I can’t bear it!)

“Protect You” Lucifer x Reader

Word Count: 2,559

Lucifer x Reader, Crowley x Reader

Request from @perseusandmedusa : Can I request a Lucifer x Reader story? You’ve watched the last episode where we saw Lucifer in a cage in Hell with Crowley, right? Let’s imagine Crowley found Lucifer’s soulmate & brings her in the room. The reader being a simple woman, she doesn’t understand what’s going on. Luci feels a connection the second she enters the room but decides to ignore it, so Crowley will kinda torture her to get a reaction from the Devil. 

Warnings: Alcohol, mentions of torture, angst, a few swear words, fluff


Originally posted by totallysupernaturaloneshots

“Need a drink?” Crowley sat down next to the woman at the bar, sliding a wink at her.

She looks over at him, unsure if he is being serious or not. People don’t typically approach her at bars, but if they do, it usually never turns out well. With her past history of creeps trying to drug her or losers trying to get in her pants, she normally just kept a straight, ‘don’t talk to me’ face while she drank.

“I’m good.” She raises her glass, indicating that she already had.

“What’s your name?” Crowley asked, swirling his chair so he is facing towards her.

She tells him a fake name, while giving off a quite bitchy attitude, hoping that he will leave her alone. Crowley knows she’s lying, making him raise his eyebrows. He knows her name. Actually, he knows a lot about her.

When he had captured Lucifer a few weeks ago, he tried everything he could do to torture him. All the techniques that Lucifer had once used on him, and everything that he had picked up on his own. He was quite skilled in torture, being the king of hell and all. But nothing seemed to break him. He continued to be his normal, regular, horrible self. It was driving Crowley mad knowing that he couldn’t get Lucifer to break. He wanted him to break just as Lucifer had broken him all those years ago.

The only other thing he could think of was something he didn’t think was possible. He had deemed it an impossible mission when he had called his mother, Rowena, and asked for help. He had figured she would say that his plan was a bust, that she couldn’t find anything.

But she did.

That plan of his was to find his soulmate. That’s the only thing in the world that no one can resist. Soulmates are something on another level that even God can’t mess with. Everyone is born with one, even angels- even Lucifer. When Crowley called Rowena, asking if she could possibly find his soulmate, he thought it was a long shot. There was too many possibilities- he or she could have already died, not even been born yet, or might not even be human. They could have been another angel.

But of course, Rowena came through. She always did. Crowley couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Lucifer did have one- a woman named Y/N. And she was very much alive.

He tracked her down, and here he was. Offering to buy her a drink, planning on getting her drunk so he could easily take her back to Lucifer. He needed her to get done what needed done.

“Now now, don’t lie about your name.” Crowley frowned, flagging down the bartender. “Scotch, please. And another one for the lady.” He orders her a drink despite her protests to him buying her one earlier.

“And how is it you know that isn’t my real name?” She was the one raising her eyebrows this time.

“Because, love, I know everything.”

“Uh huh.” Y/N had to stop herself from rolling her eyes. In her eyes, she just thought this was some random old guy trying to hit on her, and not really doing a good job.

“Take the drink?” Crowley passes over one of the glasses that the bartender brought him.

“I told you I was good.” She slides the glass back over to him.

Crowley was growing impatient and frustrated. She was stubborn. No wonder she was Lucifer’s soulmate. He decided to go a different route and just wait her out until she left. Crowley excused himself from the bar and goes outside, waiting patiently until she comes out.

Y/N finishes up her drink, relief flooding through her chest as the man next to her finally left. He gave off a dark vibe, one she couldn’t quite explain. If she believed in the supernatural, she’d describe it as the feeling of death. The feeling that everywhere he goes, darkness follows.

She frowns, thinking she’s overthinking things and being paranoid. She picks up her purse and pays the tab, thanking the bartender for his service. She ignores the wolf whistles coming from the men in the bar as she makes her way out, grabbing her car keys as she opens the door.

She’s about to open the door to her car as she sees the reflection of the man in the car window, making her jump and drop her keys.

“Did I scare you, Y/N?” Crowley smirks. She doesn’t even have the time to process the fact that he knew her name before she finds herself in a totally different place.

She looks around, the man that was once with her in the parking lot now holding on to her wrist as he drags her through the dark corridors. She looks around in fear and starts hyperventilating, her mind running a million miles an hour.

Crowley tightens his grip on her wrist as he drags her towards the room, not caring how much she is resisting. He doesn’t care that she’s scared. The only thing that he cares about is the look on Lucifer’s face when he sees her, and how he will react to knowing he’s got his soulmate as captive.

“Luci, we’ve got company.” Crowley says in a singsong voice, throwing Y/N into the room.

Lucifer looks up from behind the bars, unsure of what Crowley is talking about. He sees him throw the woman into the room; she looks terrified, and immediately Lucifer feels bad for the woman.

He becomes confused as to why he felt badly for the woman he didn’t even know- he doesn’t feel bad for anyone. He doesn’t give a shit about anything except himself. But the helpless, scared look on her face was enough to make to make even his heart melt. He didn’t even know he had a heart until he saw her.

“Aha, gotta love company.” Lucifer smiles his signature smile.

“Who are you? Why am I here?” Y/N’s voice came out quiet and weak. She was standing in the middle of the room, Crowley standing in the doorway to her left and Lucifer behind the bars to her right.

“Oh, sweetie, I apologize for him. He’s always been a bit rude to houseguests.” Lucifer says condescendingly, hoping to get underneath Crowley’s skin. He’s not going to let anyone break him, not even this mysterious woman in front of him.

“I’m Crowley. King of Hell.” Crowley closes the door, stepping into the room and going to sit on his chair. Ah, his signature chair. He loves sitting in that chair, it makes him feel powerful. Especially when he can sit there and see Lucifer caged up right next to him, helpless. “And that over there, well, that’s the Devil.”

Y/N thought she was going to pass out. First, she’d kidnapped from a bar by a strange man, who claims to be the King of Hell? And now she’s locked up in a room with not only him, but someone he is introducing as the Devil? This was too much for her. She starts pacing the room, pinching herself in several spots on her body. This must be a dream.

“The Devil is a bit of a harsh name, if you ask me.” Lucifer pipes up. “But, I second her question, Crowley- what is the poor woman doing here?”

“You didn’t feel it yourself?” Crowley feels himself pause. Lucifer should have felt the instant connection the moment she stepped into the room. Angel can sense their soulmates much more acutely than humans. Crowley clenches his jaw, thinking he might have messed up and grabbed the wrong girl, before he notices the change in Lucifer’s face. It was only a split second, but it was enough for Crowley to know. He felt it.

Lucifer’s face dropped the minute Crowley said that. He had felt it, he knew. He knew why she was here, and he knew why Crowley was acting so smug. That woman standing there, that was his soulmate. He could feel the connection between them, his immediate liking to her.

“Oh, Crowley,” Lucifer laughs. “You really thought a girl could get under my skin? You’re dumber than you look, and that’s saying a lot.”

“Now, Lucifer, you of all people know the power of soulmates. Don’t try and act like this woman isn’t affecting you, dog.”

Y/N was seriously on the edge of passing out. Soulmates? To her, soulmates aren’t even a real thing. It’s just a fairytale, the things that moms always tell their little girls about.

“What am I doing here?” She repeats again. No one responds to her.

“She means nothing to me.” Lucifer insists.

“No?” Crowley asks in an unbelieving tone. He grabs Y/N, pulling her back into his chest and placing his knife across her neck. She starts to choke back tears, terrified that he was going to kill her. She tries to go and speak, but with a snap of Crowley’s fingers, her voice was gone.

“So you wouldn’t mind if I sliced her neck?” He dragged the knife slowly across her neck, not putting enough pressure to cut her, but that could easily be changed.

Lucifer wanted to get out of that cage that moment and turn that knife around, stabbing it into Crowley’s neck instead. Or, if he had his power, just simply snap his fingers and snap his neck. Anything would do at this moment. Seeing her standing there with a knife to her neck, terrified and crying, was not a sight Lucifer wanted to see.

But his pride gets in his way, and he refuses to let Crowley see how this bothers him.

“Do you realize who I am?” Lucifer seethes his teeth from behind the bars. “Nothing and no one can get to me. I’m the one who people run away to their mommies for. I’m the big, bad monster. A measly woman is not going to do shit for me.”

Crowley calls his bluff and presses the blade slightly deeper into Y/N’s neck, making blood start to flow out of the wound. He allows her voice to come back so Lucifer can hear her screams.

“Stop it!” Lucifer screams, not being able to take it any longer. His eyes start to glow red from the anger inside of him. “Stop fucking touching her!”

Crowley smirks, pulling the knife away from her as he allows her to drop to the floor.

“Bingo.” Crowley says. He’s about to say something else before his phone rings, earning a groan in response. “Sam and Dean. Always needing something.” And with a snap of his fingers, he’s gone.

“Y/N, come here.” Lucifer calls out from the cell.

“No, don’t come anywhere near me.” She’s scared, and holding her neck to keep pressure on the wound. It’s not very deep, but it’s enough to make blood drip down onto her shirt.

“I want to make sure you’re okay.” Lucifer sighs. Y/N is hesitant, but crawls over to where he is. He looks at her neck, placing his fingers on it, earning a wince from her.

“Didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“Who are you?” Her voice comes out shaky.

“I thought that was made clear.”

“You’re-“

“Lucifer?” He asks. “Yes.”

“But how can you… How?”

“There is a lot you don’t know, Y/N. This world, it’s not what you think.”

“Uh huh…” She wasn’t sure how to respond. This was a lot to take in. “And… soulmates?”

“Everyone has someone.” Is all he responded.

“And you’re my someone?”

“Seems so.”

“Okay.” She tried to pinch herself again.

Lucifer didn’t know what to do. He has never felt compassion or anything or anyone in his life until this girl. He’s not sure how to act around her. All he knew was that he wanted to help her. She can’t handle this.

“Y/N, I need you to do something for me.”

“Okay.”

“I want you to grab that key that’s on the desk right there. Open that door and get out of here. There isn’t any demons standing guard. You can find your way out. When you get out, I need you to do something else for me. I have followers, people who well help you. Pray to Abraham, tell him that I sent you. Tell him to wipe your memory.”

“I don’t-“

“Just do it!” Lucifer yelled. He felt the overwhelming sense to protect her, to keep her safe. If she knew about any of this, remembered this, she’ll think she’d gone crazy. Any normal human would.

“O-okay.” She stuttered, fear rising inside of her from him yelling. She walked over to the table, grabbing the keys and opening the door.

“How are you going to escape?” She asked him, pity in her eyes. He was helping her and she didn’t want to leave him.

“I can handle myself. Leave, now.”

Y/N closes the door behind her. She runs through the hallways, barely able to see from the lack of lighting. Eventually she finds a door that leads to the outside, and she sighs in relief, happy to be out of there.

“Abraham?” She says oddly. A part of her feels like this was just some big joke someone was playing on her. She felt extremely ridiculous praying to an angel. “Lucifer sent me.”

She stood there for a few minutes before shaking her head, thinking that she was going insane. She was about to walk away, run and find a road before a man appeared in front of her.

“You prayed to me. Lucifer sent you?” The man, presumably Abraham, asks her.

“Yeah,” She could barely believe your eyes. This night was getting crazier by the moment. “He, uh, he wanted you to wipe my memory. Something about being his soulmate, saying he wanted to protect me.”

“You’re her?” His eyes widened, and he immediately rushed over to her side. “What exactly were his orders, miss?”

“He wanted you to wipe my memories of the night.”

“Where were you before this?”

“A bar. Thaxton’s.”

-

Y/N stands in front of her car, confused as to why she is just staring at the window and not opening her car door. She looks down, noticing her car keys are dropped on the ground. She frowns and picks them up.

The time on her phone said it was almost eleven at night, making Y/N’s eyes widen. ‘Had I really been in there that long? I’ve got a test tomorrow!’ She thought to herself, not knowing where the time went.

“I’ve had too much to drink.” She mumbles to herself.

And just like that, she gets into her car and drives away, not remembering a thing.

Days of the week: Sunday

Words: 1157

Reader X Jungkook 

Days of the week l Monday - Jin l Tuesday - Yoongi l Wednesday: Hoseok l Thursday - Namjoon l Friday - Jimin l Saturday - Taehyung l Sunday - Jungkook 


Originally posted by purelyjimin


*knock knock knock*


The knocking on the door made you jump. You looked at Tae as if you were asking him what it could be but his face was more confused than yours. Any of the boys who were there knew you both were fucking.

  “Get off, I’m busy here” he yelled at the person in the other side of the door.

You had barely rested, and so had Tae. You both were busy. You wanted to sleep. The knocking kept going and Tae got up angrily.

 “Cover yourself” he said before opening the door.

“Jungkook? What do you want? Can’t you see I’m kinda busy here?” he said, hiding himself behind the door. Jungkook?

You couldn’t hear what Jungkook was saying. But what could it be?

 “No, she is tired. However, it is still Saturday. Wait for Sunday” Tae said. You still couldn’t hear Jungkook’s answers, but you heard steps appearing and then, he was gone. Tae closed the door and went back to bed without saying a word, not telling you what Jungkook wanted. You would ask, but before you knew, you fell asleep.


 Wake up. Wake up, baby girl. You have slept enough.

 A sweet, deep voice was echoing through your asleep mind, pulling you to your hot reality. Your eyes snapped open and you were blessed with a sight of Taehyung beside you, full dressed, waking you up. You smiled at him. Gosh.

  “You slept all day. It’s night already, look” he said, pointing to the window. The sky was dark. Shit, have I slept this long? The college. Oh my

 “Huh…I… I gotta…” you tried to say. Shit, I’m so

Your phone buzzed.

   *Where tf are you? Shit, you can’t disappear like this, Y/N! You missed another class, for fuck sakes*  

  This was just one of 6 messages from your friend. Well, sorry but I am busy.  

  “Why don’t you take a shower and come have dinner with us?” Tae said. You looked at the clock.

 “Huh… It’s almost midnight. I have slept for almost 1 day, it’s almost Sunday. I really have to go home” you said.

You really needed. You weren’t sleeping at your dorm and were skipping a thousand classes. Besides, you had slept for almost 1 day, you were freaking tired and needed some time to yourself.

 “We’re leaving this town on Monday. We would like to spend this last day with you.”  He said simply. Your heart almost stopped.

 “Oh… right. Ok”  that’s all you could say.


   “This pasta is really good, Jin. Oh my God” you said. Jin really cooked well.

Everybody was there, just talking while you were eating, except by Jungkook who was taking a shower.  It was Sunday. Jungkook’s day. Honestly, you weren’t expecting much. He was a god in stage, his hips didn’t let him lie, but in personal, he was so shy. He had barely talked to you in that whole week. Actually, you hadn’t seen any dirtiness in him. He would be…vanilla? Or was he just letting you think he is something he wasn’t just to make you surprised?

 You wanted to keep thinking about but the next sight made you stop everything and look. Jungkook left the shower and walked to the living room – where everybody was – only with a towel around his waist, water drops falling on his entire body, his wet hair falling on his forehead. Shit. Shit shit shit. Your body reacted by the sec you saw him that hot. He looked straight into your eyes and then looked away.

 “Hyung, where’s my facial mascara?” he asked.

 You couldn’t hear anything. All you could think was about how much you wanted to lick all those drops out of his perfect abs. When he left, the boys talked again but you were still amused.

  “Try not to drool, Y/N” Yoongi said, noticing your amusement. Bastard. You came back to your pasta but before you could eat, a voice called you.

 “Come here, Y/N” Jungkook called you from your room. What? No way. You stood up slowly, still confused. Did he really call you?  You got closer to the bedroom he was and knocked on the door. “Come in and lock it” he said.

  He was standing a few centimeters away from the bed, still naked except by the towel. Your heart started to rush, your blood started to burn and your core was screaming for that towel to fall.  

  He walked towards you and suddenly, randomly, he picked you up getting up as well and pressing you against the door, your legs around his waist. Unhappily, the towel doesn’t fall off.

 “I know you think I’m shy. But I’m not. I just like to proof things at the right time, which is now” he said. You were still in a hoodie and underwear only, and you could already feel his huge bulge pulsing against your clothed pussy. Cheesus Christ. He kissed you, his soft lips moving against yours in a delicious way. His kiss was the best one till that moment just because of his lips shape. You opened your mouth and his tongue explored it, biting and sucking yours. His hands roamed your ass greedily; you could feel him pressing his hard on cock against you. You didn’t expect that at all.

 He stopped kissing you, making you whimper, and let your feet touch the ground. He walked towards the bed let the towel fall. Oh, my… The sight made you stop breathing and you could just stare at his dick. His big, delicious dick. He sat on the edge of the bed and did spread his legs.

  “Get on your knees and suck me” he said simply. You didn’t argue, you didn’t think, you didn’t assimilate, before you knew you were kneeling in front of him and taking his dick on your hand. You pumped it a few times but once the pre-cum came out, you started to blow him. He growled the erotic sound making you want to be fucked already. He was now holding a fistful of your hair, controlling your speed. When you gagged and tried to pull back, he didn’t let you.

 “Take it. I’m not done” he said. You could feel your amusement making your panties get wet. Really wet. He stopped you and told you to strip. When you quickly did, he started to stare at your naked body; you felt the necessity to cover yourself but avoided this feeling.

  “You are so hot, Y/N. I’m gonna fuck you all night” he said and you died in anticipation. “Lay” he said and you obeyed. He positioned himself between your legs and kissed you again. Going to your neck, he looked for your sweet spot and once he found it, he sucked at it. Then, he kissed each of your breasts, his tongue swirling around your nipples, making you grab the bed sheets. You could feel his erection against your thigh; you just wanted to feel him inside you already. His hand trailed down your thigh and pushed one finger inside you, making you gasp. He smirked at your reaction and pushed another finger deep inside you, pumping it in and out, wet sounds echoing from your pussy. His finger moves in and out of your walls, the sensation is fucking good.

“Your so fucking beautiful.” He said and pulled away. You whined. He clasped his teeth on your panties and pulled them off slowly, teasing you. “You are so fucking wet for me” he said. Biting his lip he positioned his dick at your entrance and pushed himself all the way in without warning. You screamed.

 “I wanna make you scream my name” he said, thrusting harder and louder. “I’m gonna fucking show you that I am not a kid”. You started bucking your hips against him, your bodies slapping against each other, trying to get some extra pleasure on your clit. He was so big and felt so fucking good inside you.

  “Oh my God, Jungkook” you screamed and digged your nails in his back.

 He stopped moving, but only long enough to bed you over and start to take you hard and quick from behind, the pressure inside you driving you completely insane. He kept thrusting inside you, and before you knew his hand was slapping against your ass cheek.

  Fucking with Jungkook was being completely delicious.

  “Do you like it? You still think I’m a kid?” he asked, pulling your hair.

 “Fuck, Jungkook” you said.

“No one else will ever fuck you this good, Y/N, not even my hyungs” he said. Wow. You couldn’t even answer; you were immersed in your pleasure.

  With all those cursing, screaming, skins slapping sounds, you were losing it. You felt Jungkook gripping your waist tighter and soon, you felt his releasing inside you. It pushed you towards the edge, and your walls clenched around his stone hard dick.


You opened your eyes, finding yourself in an empty bed, but before you could recognize where you were, the bedroom’s door snapped open.

 “We are leaving on Monday. However, you are one of the best girls we have ever fucked” Namjoon said. The room was silent.

“And… some of us fucked you, like, 5 days ago. It’s a long time” Yoongi said.

 “So…?” you asked.

  “If you want, you can choose one of us to fuck you one last time before we leave. Or all of us” Jungkook said.

What the fuck?


A/N: That’s it! I hope you like it and thank you for all the support. And no, there’s no part 2 or group sex

Something in the way you move.

Relationships: Bucky Barnes x Reader

OC: Steve Rogers,Peggy Carter

Summary: Your brother-Steve Rogers- will marry  a week later. And what about you?

Warnings: smut(ish).

Word Count:3734

A/N: Hi guys, I wrote again. I am here with a new story. I hope you like it. Please warn me if I have made any grammar or spelling errors.Meanwhile, don’t hesitate to text and say your opinions. With love.x

part 2

masterlist

   When she called an Uber, she rebelled against the coldness of the air. The flight was postponed when the plane was delayed, and it was evening when she landed. With the sun sinking, the foggy air hit her face. How did a city manage to get cold in the evening while the day was so hot? She pulled the suitcase and walked out of the airport. Her work in London was so intense that she could not remember the last time she went out for a break. She was working in a law firm and was used to staying afterwards.  Her boss does not like anything. After countless deep breaths, she was going to the office and trying to do a better job. She took her phone out of her jeans and sent a message to Peggy. Peggy was the future wife of her 4 year old older brother. She was looking forward to their wedding.

    When she was little girl, she was just returning from school with her brother, and when they saw the neighbors who moved to the side house, they both grinned grimly. They were going to have a new friend. She wanted to have a new friend because she was playing with Steve’s friends. She laughed joyfully when she saw the pink bike descending from the transport truck. She was very excited as she walked to the side house with her parents. Her parents warned them to treat themselves well and wanted them to wear their best clothes. She hoped that the girl  would like her flowery yellow dress. When her father pushed the doorbell, she held her breath. She looked at the door with her big eyes. The man who opened the door smiled and met her parents and thanked for the apple pie they brought. “Daddy?” She was convinced she found her new best friend when she saw her. The only thing she did not realize was that her brother looked straight at the girl with his mouth open.

    As she walked in front of the apartment building, she moved in excitement. Talking on the phone could not stop her longing for her brother. She pulled the suitcase and walked in through the open door of the apartment. Peggy and (Y/N) wanted to surprise Steve. Steve thought she would arrive 2 days before the wedding. When she pushed the doorbell, she left the suitcase and started to listen to the sounds coming from inside. “Honey, would you open the door?” She held her breath with his footsteps approaching. When the door opened and she saw his face, she lifted her head and grinned at him. Steve peeped his eyes at her with stunned looks. “Surprise!” Her brother took her to himself without thinking and hugged. She did not hold her laughter while she was in his arms.

“My God, I thought you were going to come a few days later.” She pretended to be taken by Steve’s puzzled voice. She put her hand on her chest.

“I could go back and come a few days later.” As she walked down the hallway, the man took (Y/N)  and left a kiss on her hair.

“Do not be silly, you idiot. I missed you so much, “When they entered the hot living room, she looked around. Peggy -sitting on the couch- began to come to her by opening her arms. She hid her eyes as she hugged the woman with all her longing. “Did you know?” Steve did not expect an answer. He knew how well two women in his life had understood.

“Of course I did, darling. I called her and told her to come as soon as possible or you’d be out of your head. We need to get away from this wedding fuss. She is the only person we know who knows how to deal with the head. “(Y/N) winked and grinned at his brother and began to pull the jacket over her .Although the outside was cold, the house was full of warmth and peace.


"Oh, hey.” Bucky was standing in the doorway of his door, examining her. She ran her eyes on the man before she gave hi. With black sweater and tight jeans, he was as dazzling as ever. Bucky was Peggy’s cousin. She saw how dangerous he was. He was a cynical man who did not like to take responsibility, who let everything flow. When they first met, they hated each other. He was a confident, womanizer. She was unresponsive to the surprise, as the man wrapped his long arms around her. When she put her head in the man’s warm chest and hold it; she took a deep breath. The man’s cologne was mixed with aftershave and mastic gum.

“It’s been a long time since I have seen such a hot body.” That’s what she knew Bucky was back. Her eyes rolled over and pulled back.

“Bucky.” She smiled at Steve’s warning tone. Five years ago, at Steve’s birthday party, Bucky tried to hook up with her. Bucky was not tired of complimenting, danced with the girl and sipped his drink. She refused him.From that moment on, Bucky was bothered by himself.

“Hey, I’m just complimenting. "Steve rolled his eyes when he glanced at her with his blue eyes.

"Jar.” She could not believe her eyes when she saw that the old tradition still continued. This is a solution her mother found in adolescence. Steve and his father had to put money on the jar every time they swore. Bucky pulled his wallet out of his back pocket when Steve had a determined look at his roommate. Bucky walked out of the kitchen, dropping ten bucks of money into jar -its mouth full of money-. When she sat in the chair, Steve grinned at her and continued to watch the game on the screen. She, sipping a beer, was struggling to stay awake. She was tired from waiting at the airport for her flight and flying for hours.

“Are we excited, the bride-to-be?” Peggy sitting on the floor shook her head.

“I want  that day as soon as possible.” Her eyes shone inside. (Y/N) were still young and the marriage did not even go out of her head. Nevertheless, seeing the couple who was in love with each other crazy caused envy. She wanted a relationship like this. She remembered the day that Steve would propose. The guy was very excited; he always changed before he went out for dinner.

“You look very tired, you can tell if you want to go to bed.” when she approved it, everyone started to get ready to sleep. There were two bedrooms in the house, one was Steve and Peggy. The other was Bucky’s, and she would have to lie on the couch. “If you like, you can stay in my bedroom.” She shook her head, even if she was surprised by Bucky’s offer. She did not want to disturb anyone. She would go tomorrow, check in a hotel. One night, she did not mind sleeping on the couch.

“Thank you, I’m fine.” Bucky shook his head as he grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and went to his room.

When she stretched out on the couch, she almost fell. It was not a very comfortable couch. She had to sleep without moving. She pushed her blanket over her legs and opened her eyes. (Y/N) focused on the chandelier and thought it was possible to sleep here. There was no way she could sleep here. She had to accept Bucky’s offer. She did not even care how the man would sleep on the couch. She got up from her place and came to his room. When she knocked his door hoping he would not fallen asleep. She noticed the wrongness of her thought and returned. After taking a few steps, the door opened. Bucky was staring at her with his sleepy eyes. He was standing beneath his bare body and his sweatpants, which seemed to fall from his waist. He spoke with his sleepy voice while rubbing his eyes.

“(Y / N), is everything okay?” She was angry at herself when she heard a worried voice. She shook her head and played with her fingers.

“I could not sleep. Is your offer still valid? "She looked at him when she noticed that the man was gazing over her gaze. Instead of pajamas she wore thin hanger top and short shorts. The man who licked his lips approached her with and opened the door a little more.

"Come in.” She looked at the man as she walked in the room.

“Just sleep, no funny business.” When she entered the big and comfortable bed, the man laughed and turned off the light.

“Whatever you say,doll.”


      When she woke up, she felt the hand moving around her waist. The tenrine twitched with the fingers touching vaguely. When she turned her head, she found Bucky watching her. With swollen eyelids and scattered hair, he was staring at her.

“Good Morning."No, she did not want to wake up. She wanted to rest in the hot bed again, to rest her whole body.

"Good morning, what time is it?” At that moment they realized how close they were. She leaned in bed and passed her hand through her hair.

“Eight-thirty.” She lowered her shoulders and tried to open her sleep completely. “Why did you have to wake me up so early?” Bucky lifted his head from the pillow and looked at her.

“Did I wake you up?” Technically both yes and no. She was accustomed to waking up early because of her work.

“Yes, did you touch on my waist?” Bucky grinned at her with confidence.

“I was looking at your tattoo. When did you get inked? I’ve never seen before. "She threw her garment over her comforter while she was pulling her outfit off.

"It’s been a few years.” She got up and stretched her legs. Her whole body was rested. “I would like to see another tattoo. The one you talked to Peggy on that phone, "She froze in place. How did he know? She had a tattoo on her pelvic bone a few months ago. It was three small, cute stars. She had a bit of regret in the morning when she was drunk. In fact, she liked to have a tattoo now.

"Maybe you’ll see it in your dreams, Barnes.” As she opened the door and walked out of the room, she heard him groan.

 She sang along the song that was playing with the pancake dough. It was impossible to sing along with the cheerful singer. She shook her butt while oiling the pan. The future couple was not awake yet. She was relieved. She did not want to explain why she was out of Bucky’s room.

“What a beautiful view.” She turned her head and looked at Bucky leaning against the door.

“The jar.” As she grabbed a scoop from the mix and poured it into the chop, Bucky approached her and ran his coffee machine. She was focused on her work, without worrying about the man who started to cut fruits.

“How nice it smells.” Steve kissed his sister’s head and looked at the pancakes on the table when he came in with Peggy on his arm.

“You two, what time did you wake up? I had never seen Bucky so energetic in the morning. "Peggy wandered over them as she was taking a chair. Bucky smiled at her

"I slept well.” When everyone started to eat breakfast, Peggy returned to (Y/N). “What about you? Did you sleep comfortably? "The fork that she took to her mouth was in the air. She was not afraid of Steve’s thoughts, afraid of Steve’s speech.

“Yeah, it was okay.” Bucky grinned as he sipped orange juice.

“I thought you slept better.”The knee under the table hit the man’s knee. She sipped her cup trying not to break the pot.

"I know I’ll sleep better in my hotel room tonight.”

“(Y/N), if you bother on the couch, you do not have to stay at the hotel. I cannot see you anymore, please stay with me.”

“I’ll think.” Even though Steve was unaware of everything, Peggy could feel something going on between the two. She sipped her coffee and turned to her cousin and winked.


     She looked out of the window as sun warmed her skin. They were leaving the plaza to enjoy the sunny weather. When she offered to go beach, everyone at the table accepted and started to prepare. She was wearing a thin dress on top of the bikini she borrowed from Peggy. She wanted to get a little tan, swim. She got out of the car and looked at the beach in front of her. There was no one but a group of teenagers. She took the beach bag and started to walk on hot sand. While Bucky and Steve walked up the beach umbrella, Peggy was carrying snacks and freezing cold beer. There was a beautiful sunny day in front of them to enjoy. She closed her book and took her eyes on Bucky. While Steve and Peggy were enjoying the water, Bucky was sitting next to her.

“If you put your beer on my leg once again, I swear I will kill you.” Not listening to the first few warnings, Bucky persisted in his insistence, driving her crazy. He put his finished bottle in the cradle and leaned over his elbows.

“You’re so boring.” She looked at the man as she puffed the air into her cheeks. He was dazzling with his bronze tan and damp hair. The black panties he wore under were dangerously down. The water dripping from his hair flowed over his chest. “You do not have to stay with me, go and join them.” When she pointed at the couple who was kissing in the ocean, Bucky rolled his eyes.

“I do not intend to be the third wheel.” Bucky groaned when she shrugged her shoulders and returned to her book.  

“What do you want from me?” Bucky shook his head as he looked up at her.

“Come with me, I have a great idea.” When she held his hand and lifted her foot, the man dragged her.

“Do you mean to jump from the cliff?” She looked down from the cliff where they stood. The waves quickly hit the rocks and disappeared.

“Come on, it’ll be fun.” She turned her dismal look to the man and bit her bottom lip. The idea of ​​jumping was exciting. She loved to do crazy things. She shook her head softly and held her breath. What could be the worst? She remembered that they were constantly jumping when they were teenagers. He handed the woman and waited for her to hold it. She grabbed Bucky’s hand and stood upright.

“Jump in three.“ She licked her dry lips and. Adrenalin, who lived while falling from the cliff, pumped blood all over her body. The screaming lust lost in the air.

   She threw back her hair and coughed because of the water she had swallowed. He watched her without moving in the water with his big smile on his face.

"See, it was not so bad.” She forgot all her bad thoughts for a moment. She forgot all her problems for a moment. She felt relieved. She yelled at the man as she swam towards the shore.

“One more time?”


   “Hi, is there anyone in the house?” She left her briefcase. She found a little note left on the dining table.

“We are going to the cinema. -Steve, Peggy. ”

     The happy couple had gone to enjoy the popcorn, Bucky had to be outside. Noticing that she was alone at home, (Y/N) wanted to take a hot shower. A friend who learned she was in the city, invited the party. She’d rather be drunk on Friday than get bored at home. She walked into Bucky’s bedroom as she pulled out her T-shirt. She placed the suitcase in his room. She left the t-shirt when she opened the door and walked in. She leaned in the suitcase and heard a voice behind her as she thought about what she could wear for the party. Bucky was in the room with a towel in his waist.. She watched him turn around and pick out the clothes on the wardrobe. He had fallen in thought enough not to notice her.She held her breath as she watched the muscles on his back. She thought about the body under the towel. She did not know how many times she had left the house because she could hear the girls moaning on her previous visits. If she had sex with such a body, she would also enjoy it. (Y/N) came to herself when Bucky lowered his towel and was wearing his underwear.

 "Oh my god, Bucky!“ She held her breath when Bucky scared back. Bucky looked at her naked.

”(Y / N), you scared me.“ She stood still while closing her eyes.

"Could you please wear something on it?” She heard fabric whilst trying to forget what she saw.

“You can open your eyes.” Bucky was standing with his pants. She got a grudge without knowing what to say.

“Sorry.”

“How did you not notice me?” Bucky grinned at the woman while he was wearing a t-shirt. She closed her breasts with her fingers when she realized she was naked except for the bra.

“Come on, (Y/N), I’m not interested in your breasts when I see better.” She turned nervously and put on the t-shirt she found. She was stupid when she chewed her cheeks.

    She looked at the people around her while sipping a beer from her red bard. It was not a crowded party.She met new people, she laughed at their jokes. She needed a stronger alcohol if she wanted to get drunk. She sat in the corner seat and looked at Bucky talking to a blonde girl. They knew they would go to the same party, they came together. Along the way, Bucky embarrassed the woman by playing countless words. She wanted to forget. Bucky was determined not to forget. She thought the body she saw. When she recalled his abdominal muscles, his V-line, his muscular arms, her body was starving. She remembered his dick and licked her lips. Bucky was a wonderful man. She thought they were never together. Steve warned her so much, she was scared. She was not against a one-night stand, but she had a headache with Bucky. She wanted a man who was not interested in herself. Bucky kissed the girl in his lap.She took her bag and went out. It was not such a nice party anyway.

     Bucky was upset when he stopped calling (Y/N) and came home. He was distracted and lost her. He was bored when he could not find her. He had a stomachache when he thought she was going to someone else’s house. He left the leather jacket on the couch and walked to the kitchen to drink water. He could not get it when he took his phone out of his pocket and called the woman. Did her phone shut off? He sat on the couch by massaging his temples. When the door opened and (Y/N) walked in, he took a deep breath. The woman is drunk.

“(Y/N)?” The woman noticed him and lifted her head. My God, how much did she drink? He giggled and looked at the woman. She could not even stand.

“Bucky.” She stretched the name and collapsed as she spoke. She closed her eyes, she was murmuring something. Bucky did not understand what she said. She should have brought her up. He bowed to her.

“Come on, come on, I’ll take you.” When the woman objected, he rolled his eyes. It was so sweet when she was not in herself. She grabbed the man. She lipped her lips on the man’s ear.

“Fuck me.”

  

Bucky swallowed the sentence. From the time they met, she was charming. He was attracted to her character and her beautiful physique. Her sarcastic behavior, her warm smile … These were the things that bucked Bucky. He gave up when he realized she was not interested in.Girls like (Y/N) weren’t interested in men like Bucky. He always thought that way.He held her hand when she took her hand to his belt. She was drunk and did not know what she was saying.

“(Y / N), you are drunk."When she opened her eyes, Bucky tried to stand up.

"I. want. you. I want you. "She sat on Bucky’s lap. Under the touch of her, Bucky forgot everything. He wanted the woman in her arms. He put his hands on her butt and tightened.

"Fuck me so hard.” Bucky jerked her head in the couch. Everything was so beautiful right now. The man groaned as she moved her lower body over the cock. She made Bucky feel so good. As the cock stiffened, his fingers holding her hips dipped in her skin.

“Do you want me, Buck?” He wanted to kiss her on the lips. He shook his head and looked at her. Her eyes almost closed, she smelled alcohol. If they had something to do now, the woman would regret it in the morning. He could not see to lose her. The choice was very clear.

“I want you, but not like this.” He realized that the woman in his lap was angry.

“(Y / N), you are so drunk. And I do not want to lose you because of stupid sex. ”       He put the woman who was asleep in his lap in the couch and covered it with a blanket. He sat on the coffee table and watched her face. It was so beautiful. The hardened dick was sore because of the approach. He should have had a cold shower. He left his clothes on marble with tiles and went under the shower head. He thought about what happened just before he put the hand on his cock and moved it back and forth. He approached, his head resting on a tile wall with his irregular breathing. “Fuck, fuck. Oh, fuck. "He told the name of the woman while his seeds were empty. The woman was fined on the skin, scratched on his brain.

Do we tell our children
there is a war inside of them
when they start bleeding
from between their legs?
Not just blood but matter–
substance, sustenance.

Do we tell them there is a dragon
nesting in their uterus
belching acid and blackberry jam?
Do we tell them that walls
they did not ask for
are being torn down to bloody rubble?

I remember being ten
my best friend telling me
that she could feel her insides
falling out in a slow gritty slide.

Aspirin and chocolate and heat pads–
drug the body,
feed the dragon,
burn it out of you.

—  ejl., “think of the children”
Cheater

Pairing: Peter parker x reader 

Request: “OMG PLS DO A PETER PARKER IMAGINE BASED ON THE SONG CHEATER BY THE VAMPS AND CAN YOU MAKE IT HAVE A FLUFFY ENDING AND MAYBE A MAKEOUT OR SOME SHIT” - @blueskaikru

word count: 2953

Hope you guys enjoy!

REMEMBER REQUEST ARE OPEN!!!

Originally posted by buckybarnres

3 months. You had been in a lovely relationship with your boyfriend for about 3 months, and everything seemed kinda perfect. Maybe to perfect to be true. Your boyfriend Mark had always treated you nicely, however the past weeks he had been cold and distant with you.

Despite all the things you had tried he seemed to be lost in his own world. He kept canceling dates and ignoring your calls, you could tell he was growing more distant with each passing day, however you had one last idea that might bring your boyfriend’s attention back to you.

You were supposed to meet your best friend Peter at his place. You wanted to talk about it with him. He would help you out right? After all, he was a man, he had to know what was going on with Mark.

Peter and you had been best friends since you could remember. His apartment was just above yours, and since you both attended the same school it wasn’t long after you called each other best friend.

People always used to insist that you and Peter were the perfect couple, and for a little while during your freshman year you actually believed it, however he never tried to make a move on you.

You remembered all that time you wished he would see you as something more than a friend with some nostalgia. When everybody started mentioning what a good couple you would both make, Peter had immediately shut those people down. After a while you just realised that maybe you were better being just friends. A little part of you would always wonder what being Peter’s girlfriend would feel like, but right now you had a lovely boyfriend, even if he hadn’t really been present lately.

You got into his apartment without even knocking, knowing Aunt May wasn’t even around, you loved her, but it was definitely better this way; you didn’t want to have this conversation with an audience.

You went straight to Peter’s room, sitting in his bed right across him. He gave you a quick glance and a smile before returning to his homework.

“Hey Y/n! Where have you been? I didn’t see you at school today”

"Yeah well, I skipped it, I needed time to think about something”.

This time the boy left his duties aside, giving you his complete attention.

“Is everything okay at home?”

God you loved this boy! He always cared for you and made sure you were okay.

“Yeah  Yeah of course! But is something else- something with- you know, Mark” you finally said as you looked at the boy. You didn’t want to annoy him with your girl talk, but you didn’t knew who else to turn to.

“Do you want to talk about it?” The boy didn’t love the idea of you and Mark, however he didn’t opposed to it. If it made you happy he was happy as well.

“ It’s just that- he has been really distant with me lately, canceling dates and I’m pretty sure he is lying to me! Can you believe it? But anyways- I think I may have a solution, but-well I don’t know for sure”

“Well dummy, you can always tell me! I can tell you if it’s a bad idea”

A blush spread through your cheeks, making your whole face heat up . You could not believe you were about to tell this to your best friend and former crush.

“Well I’ve been thinking that- well- I think- I think I might do it with him”

You couldn’t even look Peter in the eye after what you had just said. Why did you think it was a good idea?

“Do what?”

“You know-the thing!”

She felt the embarrassment filling her up once again. If she couldn’t even say the word sex how was she planning on actually doing it?

“I will have sex with Mark”

For a couple of second everything was completely quiet as you waited for his reaction.

Finally Peter got out of his trance and his eyes grew considerably while a scarlet color adorned his whole face. He could not believe what you just had told him.

“What?! Are you crazy?! Why would you even do that?!”

The boy seemed confused and hurt. He had said those words with a voice tone that would have made you believe Peter was jealous, however you knew better than that. Peter was probably just trying to protect you.

“Peter is not a big deal! Were both 18!”

“So? Being 18 doesn’t mean you have to go and get rid of your v card immediately!”

“Peter I honestly don’t know why are you so upset! I didn’t threw a big fuss over how you lost it to Liz Allen last year!”

Both teenagers had started yelling at this point. They couldn’t believe the other was being so stubborn about the topic.

“But I did it because I wanted to! Not just to get the attention of a douche boy back!”

“What exactly are you trying to tell me Peter?”

“You shouldn’t feel the need to have sex with Mark in order to win him back! If he loved you he wouldn’t lie or ignore you!”

“Of course he loves me! We just need this to make our relationship stronger”

He doesn’t love you! He doesn’t love you half as much as I do, the boy thought to himself. “ When you give him what he wants he will dump you Y/n!”

“How dare you? Mark would never!”

You started pacing around the room before looking once again at Peter.

“You know what- forget it, I don’t know why I came here, I guess I was counting on my best friend, but now I know you don’t care”

Just as you were heading towards the door Peter grabbed your wrist, stopping you from leaving and pulled you close to his chest hugging you. This was a situation you had found yourself many times in, immediately hiding you face in the crock of his neck. He hold you as he started whispering.

“Of course I care dummy! And because I care I’m trying to warn you, I don’t want you to get hurt, or do something you don’t feel prepared for”

This had left you speechless. You had asked yourself this question many times. Were you ready? For many people sex was just an ordinary activity, however you didn’t want to waste what you felt was your one chance to have the perfect first time. Will Mark be gentle on you? Or would he just want to do it fast and rough? You didn’t knew if you were prepared for that yet.

You hadn’t even noticed but at some point you had started to cry, damping Peter’s t-shirt and hugged him stronger. Peter was rubbing his hand in your back, holding you, when he put his hand on your face, holding your chin so he could see you in the eye.

“I don’t ever wanna see you crying for some boy okay?”

With his other hand he cleaned away the tears from your cheeks. As he did so you realised how close you two were. From this position you could count the lashes in Peter’s eyes, those brown eyes you had found yourself getting lost in, those same eyes which were now staring at you. Peter seemed to realise the distance between you two as well as he looked at your lips and once again at your eyes. You could feel you two getting even closer and a part of you wanted to stop while the other wanted to continue even further. Your lips were about to brush together, but you could tell Peter was still waiting for your approval.

You couldn’t do this! The rational part of you pulled away right before you could kiss the boy. Oh God! We’re you actually going to kiss Peter Parker? As you glanced at the boy you could see the confusion in his eyes.

“What happened? Did I do something wrong?”

“Peter- I just- I don’t- Peter you know I have a boyfriend! God, I came to talk to you about him!”

“He doesn’t deserve you Y/n! He never will!”

“Let me make those choices”

With this final decision you stormed out the room, more than ready to make yours and Mark’s relationship work.

Peter was left alone, watching as you leaved his room and probably his life as well. Not only was he losing you but now he knew what you planned on giving to Mark.

He felt devastated, angry at that stupid  asshole  who couldn’t appreciate what he had right in front of his eyes, but mostly heartbroken, because even with all of that you had chosen him over Peter.    He felt his eyes itching, with tears beginning to form in his eyes. He felt his blood boiling under his skin and started gripping his hands into fists, refusing to let the tears roll down.

Before he realised he was punching his bed and pillows, trying to get all his frustration out. He needed some spidey action to get you and everything out of his minds. The boy quickly changed into his suit and leaved the apartment, anxious to punch somebody in the face.

However the boy was in no luck. Today of all days seemed to be the quietest and calmest of the whole year. He hadn’t witnessed any robberies or attacks and all his energy was starting to build up inside him.

He decided to swing from budding to building trying to get some of the energy out, and without even realizing he suddenly found himself right outside Mark’s house. He hadn’t even noticed he had made his way there, but now that he was he couldn’t bring himself to go back to his own place.

He couldn’t go face Mark like he wanted to, after all he was still wearing the suit, but just as he was preparing to go back, he saw from the coroner of his eye as Mark entered the building with a girl in his arms. Peter realised he was too late. You were already in Mark’s home and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

He knew it was none of his business, but still he climbed the wall up to the window in Mark’s room. Even from the outside he could listen to the couple’s voices as they laughed together.

Peter was just a coward. He had been so afraid of ruining your friendship with his feelings for you  that he had settled with just being friends. But he wanted so much more. He wanted to take your hand and kiss you. He wanted to hold you close all day and all night. He wanted to call you mine and do all the things you were probably about to let Mark do to you.

The boy had been so lost in his own thoughts he had barely noticed that the silence that surrounded him was now filled with other sounds he rather not hear.

Even from the outside he could hear the gasps and moans that filled the room.He could not bear to listen anymore as you asked Mark to touch you more and go further.

Just as he was giving up on spying he heard a name that was clearly not yours.

“Stacy, you treat me so good”

Unless Peter was going crazy that was definitely not your name. More moaning from Mark was heard, and even though he wanted to leave so desperately he also needed to know what was happening.

“Y/n would never be this good”

Shit. Shit. Shit. Mark had a girl up in his room doing things that were definitely not friendly. That jerk was cheating on you! Peter had to tell you as soon as possible! He could not let that idiot hurt you that way!

Whether you loved Peter or not he still had to warn you. He decided going to his place to change clothes and finding you was the best option. The boy swung from the buildings as quickly as he could, arriving to his  place at a record time.

He got changed into some jeans and t-shirt, taking his keys and making his way to the apartment’s door. He got to hurry if he wanted to reach you in time to stop you. He opened the door ready to leave, however the boy was surprised when you were already in the entry, about to knock on the door.

Both teenagers stared at each other with surprise in their faces. Peter did not expect you to be here, he thought you were probably on your way to Mark’s. The boy took a long look at Y/n, you looked apparently the same, however he could see how puffy and red your eyes were.

You realised Peter had noticed how you’ve been crying before. You probably looked like hell.  You lowered your gaze trying to hide your face a little and straighten your hair.

“What are y-”

“You were right”

Peter had tried to talk but you interrupted him.

“About what?”

“Mark he- he was- he was with-”

You tried to explain. Explain how you had gone to Mark’s hoping to surprise him only to find him snogging some other girls face. he didn’t even look remotely sorry. You wanted to tell Peter how you had broken up and how sorry you were about you attitude to him.

But all those words were caught up in your throat. Your voice was trembling and you couldn’t form any sentences. You were to afraid that Peter will kick you out and never forgive you. As you looked into those brown eyes you found yourself unable to talk at all, and your eyes picking and filling with tears as you realised Peter had only tried to protect you.

Words were not needed between the both of you. Peter stepped closer to you, holding you near his chest and letting you cry, the same way he had done those hours ago. He didn’t need to tell you anything and neither did you.

Once again you found yourself between those arms.  Everything felt so in place, so perfect. Not even once you had felt that way between Mark’s arms. He guided you towards his couch, still holding you close.

“I’m so sorry Peter I- thank you, you know for everything”

“ Shhhh- don’t worry about it, I’ll always be here for you”

You pulled apart once again. You knew he wouldn’t approach you anymore, as he was just rejected a couple hours ago, but still something pulled you towards him, grabbing his face between your hands. You stroke his cheek as your thumb move to his mouth. Peter’s eyes grew at the sight of you watching his own lips.

“If this is you trying to apologize you don’t have-”

You cut Peter off by finally brushing your lips to his joining in a small kiss. You pulled apart only to move closer to him in his couch, kissing him once again.

“This is me apologizing, for not telling you, how I’ve really feel about you for all this years”.

Peter finally gave in grabbing your waist and pushing your body towards the armrest, with him above you.His hand stopped cupping your face and moved towards you legs, pushing them slightly open to place himself between them.

You felt yourself breathing a little heavier. You wanted to pull apart to catch your breath, however you needed to be close to Peter more. You continued kissing him and biting into his lips, trying to deepen more the kiss. Peter couldn’t stop the moaning that came out from his mouth as you moved your hand under his shirt, stroking his stomach with your cold hands. He could feel your smirk under your kissing, so he pulled apart. Instead he chose to bite and suck on your neck, leaving small love bites.

“You know how mad it made me? Knowing he would be touching and doing all the things I want to do to you?”

His words distracted your hands from their touching, while Peter hold the above your head.

“I don’t want him to touch you, or kiss you- Hell, I don’t even want him to look at you”

You could not stop the little whimpers from coming out. Listening to Peter talk to you that way made you feel all warm inside.

He continued to kiss on your collarbone, sliding his hand towards your waist once again. This time you placed your hands on his back, pulling him closer. He brought his face close to you, this time looking straight into your eyes.

“I love you more than anything”

“I love you too, Peter”

And you really meant it. After all this years your feeling for him had only grew stronger. Now you knew that all those kisses with Mark didn’t really meant anything, because he wasn’t Peter.

“You’ll never have to do that with me. I’ll always wait for you darling”

With this final words Peter brought your head to his chest and reclined both of you on the couch, cuddling you. He gave you a forehead kiss and while you stared in his big brown eyes you realised that was the place you felt the safest at. Beside the boy you had and will always love, Peter.