starry ni

7

My top 6 favorite of Nakamura Yuuichi

i visit van gogh on a day when i am tired and soft in my vulnerability 
breathe quietly and try to remember how to beat a heart in time 
my veins stutter and i press quaking fingers to my wrists 

my isolation is heavy on my shoulders.
this is something i have made for myself 
out of wastes and dark, thickly hot deserts 
there is nobody to blame for this but myself 

i have buried myself 
but with that, there is no one left to leave flowers on my grave

van gogh remains silent. 
stuck in a painting 
starry night 
starry ni-
star-

st-a r ry ni g-ht.
my hands itch for a pen. 
for a keyboard. 
i push them into my coat pockets and tilt my head 
try to look at this painting differently

i am alone in this art gallery. 

people mill around me 
but i am the only one who does not move 
feet planted solidly in front of beauty 
i can feel the tears start to rise 
my eyes turning shiny and watery 
i can feel my sadness well like blood in a shallow cut 

van gogh says nothing 
trapped in a painting 
i think,
“you were sad too”

and i am stuck in a space right then 
between real and tired and blurred 
and the beauty i can sink myself into 
pull the ethereality hanging like mist around that artwork 
over my shoulders like a shroud
cover myself with it 
choke myself with it 

i cannot remember what it is to breathe 
tears spill over 
track down my cheeks 
the other gallery-goers do not notice 
van gogh gazes without opinion from his canvas 
i am vulnerable 

soft
sad 
a million brushstrokes 
an artist’s remorse
and a poet’s death.

—  art blues (i never liked monet as much as you) // H.S. 
Reading habits tag

(This tag started among booktubers, I just thought this could be intresting for the booklr community :)


Do you have a certain place at home for reading?


Bookmark or random piece of paper? 


Can you just stop reading or do you have to stop after a chapter/a certain amount of pages?


Do you eat or drink while reading?


Multitasking: Music or TV while reading?


One book at a time or several at once?


Reading at home or everywhere?


Reading out loud or silently in your head?


Do you read ahead or even skip pages?


Breaking the spine or keeping it like new?


 Do you write in your books?


Who do you tag?

About

Kaire,

I’m an INTJ 5w4-8w9-3w4 sp/sx lawful evil pretentious and nerdy.

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Find me on my MBTI sideblog, 8tracks, Goodreads

This blog is about culture and aesthetics, so it is neutral territory for politics, religion, social justice et cetera

Askbox is: open

P.S. my icon is Board of revenge by Francesco Hayez; the quote in my description is from The castle of Otranto by Horace Walpole