starkov

it’s a shame alina didn’t choose the darkling in the end because can you imagine an absolute crack-headcanon scenario, in which inej and kaz meet darklina and are both super star-struck - inej because she’s meeting a saint and kaz because “hi, mr. darkling, i’m kaz brekker. big fan, been following your work for a while.”

Alina: My boyfriend is the third of Morozova’s amplifiers and helped me defeat the Darkling.

Nina: My boyfriend is a hunky Fjerdan ex-druskelle who saw the fault in his ways and helped me survive through my struggle with Jurda Parem.

Genya: My boyfriend is perhaps the best Durast in all of Ravka and doesn’t care that I’m all scarred.

Inej: My boyfriend is a passionate, ruthless gang leader who saved me from forced prostitution and from Jan Van Eck.

Jesper: Bitch please, my boyfriend is a flutist who can’t read and likes to make things go kaboom.

my top 10 fav characters introduced in siege and storm

1. Nikolai Lantsov
2. Sturmhond
3. the second son of the Queen of Ravka
4. Korol Rezni
5. The Too-Clever Fox, as Alina calls him
6. Vasily’s little brother
7. The ‘bastard prince’
8. scourge of the true sea
9. the prince who masquerades as a privateer
10. the pirate king

Grishaverse Characters as High School Teachers

Kuwei: Chemistry

“I’m 87% sure this won’t blow up so I don’t think you need goggles for this lab”


Nikolai: That overzealous AP World History teacher that talks really fast and has trouble being a neutral party in global matters because he has Opinions™

“Okay so lemme just put it out there that Christopher Columbus was an actual DICK and he was NOT A GOOD NAVIGATOR BECAUSE AS AN EXPERIENCED SAILOR I CAN TELL YOU-”


Alina: English

Complete nerd. Geeks out over Brit Lit (I feel like she’d bust a fucking nut over Beowulf like no joke) and is super hyper even during first Period.


Genya: Fashion

“Fuck lesson plans just make something snazzy”


Matthias: AP Calculus

*Actual responsible and well-thought-out teaching methods*


Zoya: Earth Science

“Let’s learn about some motherfucking rocks and some motherfucking weather, BITCHES”


Kaz: Would hold some sort of administrative position like Principal or Vice Principal

*Actually doesn’t give a fuck when kids do bad things. Only really gets mad when there’s bullying and discrimination involved, but otherwise with phones, cheating, and stealing, he really doesn’t care*


Inej: Foreign language teacher

*Glances around* “Okay, kids, today’s lesson is on how to curse the fuck out of people you hate without them knowing-”


Mal: Gym Teacher that doubles as a football coach

Constant “when I was your age” lectures. “Idgaf if you have a doctor’s note yOU ARE DOING LAPS”


Jesper: Way out of line guidance counselor that is always flirting with the band teacher in the teacher’s lounge

“Hey, baby, are you a C Major scale? Because you look all natural to me.”

“Do you even know what a C Major scale is?”

“Tbh no.”


Wylan: Band teacher

“I speciFICALLY SAID YOU HAVE TO MIND,,, THE CRESCENDO,,, IN MEASURE 35,,,,”


Nina: Health

“You see, kids, when you’re a stupid bitch and smoke you get throat cancer” *proceeds to flip through a slide show showing very gruesome pictures of said throat cancer. Permanently scars her students for life.*


Bonus:

The Darkling: Creepy guy who sells drugs in the school parking lot