starkbuck

  • Peter: Wade! Meet my Dads!
  • Wade: Wait, 'Dads'?
  • [Cue Bucky, Steve, And Tony smiling]
  • Peter: [Turns away]
  • [They all glaring at Wade, mouthing "Hurt him, we'll hurt you."]
  • Peter: [Turns back around and they all are back to smiling.] Aren't they great?!
  • Wade: [Scared shitless] Y-yeah.. They're great..!
  • Tony: [holds up leg] Feel my leg I shaved.
  • Bucky: [gently stokes] Holy shit...
  • Steve: Guys. We. Are. Under. Attack. This Is Not The Time.
Infinity War

Tony: [points to Steve] Fuck you.
Tony: [points to Natasha] Fuck you.
Tony: [points to Wanda] Fuck you.
Tony: [points to Bucky] Your arm is cool.
Tony: [points to Clint] and fuck you. I’m out.

Watching A New Movie/Tv Show

Screen: *sees banter between two characters*

Me: … Oh, no.

Me: Don’t you do this to me.

Screen: *characters help one another*

Me: Please.

Screen: *they stare longingly at each other*

Me: *sobbing* They’re so cute together.

Screen: Mwahaha. Success.

Steve: I didn’t tell you about your parents, because you’d hate Bucky even though he was brainwashed and had no say. He’s my friend, you know I have to protect him.

Tony: I’m sorry. I know you’re speaking, I see your lips moving, but I can’t understand because I don’t speak Little Bitch.

[Suddenly Bucky walks out of Tony’s room with dripping wet hair and a towel around his waist]

Bucky: Hey babe, where’s- … 

Bucky:

Bucky:

Bucky: *creeps away and shuts the door*

My StarkBucks Aesthetic:

Bucky to everyone else: I Am The Darkness™. I hate each and every one of you and if you come any closer I will murder you with my left pinkie. Does this face look like it’s fucking around? No. I eat ice-cream with my two front teeth just to intimidate my foes. Now fuck off.

Bucky to Tony: *kissing cheek in greeting* Hey babe come look at this adorable puppy gif I found on the interweb today I think I just peed a little look at them they’re dancing.

Steve: [after bar fight Steve came to pick them up from the police station] Nice cell.
Bucky: It’s not much, but we call it home.
Tony: We’re thinking of redoing the kitchen.

  • Tony: [Pointing at Bucky and Steve] There's a SILF!
  • Clint: What's a SlLF??
  • Tony: Well, there's two things. The first was is a Soldier I Like to Fight. And the second one is a Soldier I Like to fuck.
  • Clint: Which one are they?
  • Tony: Kind of both.

Tony: What do you want dickbag?
Bucky: Tell me, do you just pair random obscenities with equally random nouns? Cocklamp? Asscarriage? Shitrooster? Is that how this works?
Tony: Note to self, call someone “shitrooster.”

Friendly Reminder

That you can LOVE Tony Stark while simultaneously loving Steve Rogers AND Bucky Barnes.

Love is unconditional. Never forget that.