staring-into-space

The signs when confused

Aries: might get frustrated or angry

Taurus: doesn’t know what to do and gets upset

Gemini: blank faced and lost looking

Cancer: gets frustrated and cries

Leo: looks mildly annoyed

Virgo: pulling on their hair

Libra: looks sort of dazed

Scorpio: shuts down

Sagittarius: shrugs it off and looks bored

Capricorn: actually tries to understand

Aquarius: stares off into space and tries to figure things out

Pisces: repeatedly asks for an explanation with wide eyes

You see that girl staring into space? If you were to ask her what’s wrong, she would say nothing, when in reality it’s everything. She’s sitting there wondering what she did wrong, what she would have done differently, how she would have changed it if she had the chance. And if she had the chance to go back and do it over again, would it end with the same result? That’s why she stares.

sometimes i stare at people for longer amounts of time than i should and when they notice i play it cool by making myself look like I’ve zoned out and they just happened to be in the general direction i zoned out towards and then i shake myself out of it and give THEM a look like why are you looking at me and i’m kind of proud of this because i can unabashedly check people out when i want to

“next time i wont miss”

oh but dean, you didnt miss. not really.

not when cas could literally heal himself up with the snap of his fingers but he wouldn’t because he probably let himself soak up in all the pain as a penance for failing dean

not when cas was staring into space, finally understanding how it must have felt like being in dean’s shoes when he was the one beating him to a pulp due to a certain angel tablet hidden in a certain hidden crypt

not when cas was left there lying on the bunker floor all bloodied up and closing his eyes, wondering where he went wrong, wondering why can’t he just save the one person he cares about the most

cas’ weakness is having too much heart, and dean has stabbed every single one of them except for the one trapped behind his rib cage.

so no, dean. you didnt miss.

The Zodiac Signs During a Boring Day of Class

•Aries: takes diligent notes and tells people who are talking to kindly shut the hell up 

•Taurus: sleeps. And snacks every now and then. 

•Gemini: doodles on paper and stares into space while trying to shorthand notes

•Cancer: talks to person next them about eveRYTHING 

•Leo: gets detention for back talking 

•Virgo: tries to make sense of what the teacher has been saying for the past half hour 

•Libra: starts random conversations with the teacher that gets the class completely off topic 

•Scorpio: pretends to pay attention but is probably just thinking about sex 

•Sagittarius: “goes to the bathroom” for 20 minutes (actually just walks around in the hallway looking for ways to escape in case of a zombie apocalypse) 

•Capricorn: complains about the teacher’s work ethic 

•Aquarius: half pays attention/half zones out completely 

•Pisces: hums a song that’s been in their head for days 

You want to be beautiful. Not famous, not well known, but just simply beautiful. You want people to say to themselves how perfect you look when you are unaware of your surroundings, staring off into space or making a beat with the aimless tap of your foot. You want to explain love at first sight with your eyes and the way you let your hair worry about itself. You want to explain it in a way that would make someone secretly write poems about your mysterious beauty. You don’t want attention, but you would like it if no one hesitated to compliment your appearance. You don’t want to second guess the opportunity yourself, either. You want the qualities that love novelists write down in their books about the typical girl with the rosy lips and the butterfly nose and soft, red cheeks and as almost every novel puts it, the girl who has plenty of people dying to solve her mystery. You want to be beautiful from the tips of your toes to the top of your hair, from the stretch marks on your thighs to the circumference of your hips, from the pools in your eyes to the size of your nose. You want to be beautiful and sometimes, you wish others could see beauty in you, too.

You want to be a performer, whether it’s singing, rapping, dancing, acting, whatever. You want to perform. You dream of stadiums full of people hungry to witness the purity of your talent, reminding you through their applause that you contain a beautiful rarity. You want to inspire the whole room with that perfect note emitting from your heart, that strenuous move you perfected all with the practice of your feet, or that line you say so dramatically that was sure to make the whole stadium erupt in laughter. You want others to come see you, not to grade or to critique, but to take one good look at your passion to perform and not only feel at home, but to be inspired to chase after their passion, too.

You want to be an artist. You want the art of clay, or paint, or even crayons to speak to the most curious of souls. You want to put your tangled emotions into the most powerful form of art that unintentionally makes the piece so perfect. You want people to understand you, so when you create art with anger, or with sadness, or with happiness, or with love, all in a single piece, they will start to understand. When there are no words to describe how you feel, you know there is art and even if no one can grasp the emotions you are trying to portray, your heart reacts whenever you see your creation. Your heart knows that it was painted out onto paper or molded into a beautiful vase and your mind knows that its thoughts were exposed to your silent, yet noisy creativity. You want to make art to feel again, to remember why you started to make it in the first place, and maybe, just maybe, someone out there can feel what you felt, too, just by the glance of your creation.

You want to be a photographer, one who lives through pictures. You want the world to pose in front of you naturally because it knows that your skill will make the view all the more breathtaking. You want the liveliness of the crystal blue waves to crash into the sturdiness of the rocks at the first beach you come across to represent freedom through the lens of your camera. You want the perfect angle of the inside of a coffee shop that is hushed with silent conversations amongst every stranger of the city to represent the nature of silent serenities. You want the skyscrapers and the bridges and the taxis and the strangers to absentmindedly pose for you to represent the life that the city so easily brings. You want to photograph it all so the memory will always be stained on your mind because through the years life will give us, you want to at least capture the sweetest ones all with the help of a camera.

You want to be a musician. You want to be the person with an instrument never leaving their hands. In everything, you will find a beat to drum to or a chord to strum or a tune to clap to. You want to witness life being played out in a melody so you can perfect it with your instrumental harmony. Whether it’s in a garage or in front of millions, you want to be partners with your favorite sound and let the beauty of the grand staff overrule the bad notes stringing throughout the course of life. You want to be surrounded by musical influences who understand the same taste of perfection as you do, combining ideas after the realization that ears need to hear the richness that comes from your instrument. You want to play music for the rest of your life for anyone who is willing to listen.

You want to be a doctor. From people to animals, from assisting the physically sick to the mentally sick, no matter what it is, you just want to be at their service. You want to be the person people call when there’s an emergency because they are aware of your skill of perfectly meeting their necessary needs. You not only want to be a doctor, but a friend to all of your patients. You want to create an amiable atmosphere with whoever is lucky enough to be under the trustworthy guidance you provide with your treatments. You want to do more than just provide medication, but to drown them in your love - from animals to humans and from check-ups to surgeries. You want to be a doctor to heal the sick, but to also show them the definition of a big heart.

You want to be a cook, spending the rest of your life in a kitchen. You want to share the ingredients that would cause the world’s taste buds to dance in satisfaction. You know that the delicious dish stemmed from your own creation could demolish the previous definition of a good meal and open the eyes of many to what food should really taste like. You want pinches of this and a heaping of that to be the best dish in the whole history of cooking, being recreated in every small town kitchen to every five star restaurant because your kind heart is always up for recommending your own creative and palatable recipes.

You want to be a writer. You want the world to know what it’s like to feel so many things at once by picking up pen and paper and describing what your heart is feeling. Whether it’s fiction or inspired by real events, you want readers to feel that same feeling of joy or that same feeling of pain all by the help of a poetic creation. You don’t necessarily want to write beautifully, but you want to write powerfully and authentically to trigger old emotions and memories and to even unintentionally tell someone else’s story perfectly. You want to make connections with writing, finding out more about yourself as each paragraph ends and connecting with readers who you learn have the same feelings as you do. You want to explain your heart through writing that may not be the prettiest, but powerful enough to perfectly describe the complexity in what joy or pain can do to you.

The list of aspirations are limitless. I could go on forever pointing my finger and naming the life you wake up everyday to live for. From beautiful, to performers, to artists, to photographers, to musicians, to doctors, to cooks, to writers, to anything, there is a hunger to be what you have been wishing for so long to be. Well, in the way I see it, you don’t have to wish any longer.

You say you want to be beautiful. That was achieved the moment you were birthed into this world and even now with your existence so hellacious, you still hold that title. If only you could see yourself, darling, randomly thinking about a humorous moment and trying to stifle your wide smile due to the memory. If only you could see the way your eyes reflect the emotions you are feeling on the inside when you allow the world around you to fade. Even on Monday mornings and you dress in whatever you find first, whatever that may mean, believe it or not, that’s beautiful, too. You have to tell yourself that, darling. The best compliments are the ones that come from yourself. Stop wanting or “aspiring” to be beautiful. You already are.

You say you want to be a performer. That was achieved the moment you first got on stage, even if that stage was in your very own living room. Becoming excited about performing in front of others, even if it’s just a few people, just shows that you already have the heart of a performer, which makes you exactly that - a performer. When you devote yourself to never missing a rehearsal, practicing not to be perfect, but to simply enjoy the feeling of doing what you daydream about doing, makes you a performer. Having devotion and knowing that your passion will never die out, proving this by singing softly to yourself and constantly writing new songs, always in a dance studio learning more about what your feet can do, and having your script on you wherever you go, says that you are a performer. Stop wanting or “aspiring” to be a performer. You already are.

You say you want to be an artist. That was achieved when you colored your first picture. That was achieved when you felt a feeling no words could ever say and you said it all through a picture or through pottery. Looking at the backs of important papers and seeing the little doodles you drew from whatever you must’ve been feeling just shows that you are an artist. Stop wanting or “aspiring” to be an artist. You already are.

You say you want to be a photographer. That was achieved when you took your first picture. When you beg your friends to model for you because you see that they’re in a perfect setting or when you stop the table from eating so you can snap a pic of the food or when you hold up the whole group just to capture a moment you know you’ll miss seconds later, just know that you’re a photographer. With your skill of turning an ordinary photo into something meaningful, into something powerful, and your excitement to capture even the smallest of moments, it’s no longer an aspiration. Stop wanting or “aspiring” to be a photographer. You already are.

You say you want to be a musician. That was achieved when you devoted yourself to learning your first song on an instrument. It is not an easy thing to learn how to play an instrument, but it’s passion that makes the learning enjoyable. Your passion to play guitar or to make noise with drums or to be the backbone of music by playing the piano makes you a musician. When you absentmindedly tap the corner of your desk, making a small beat, or mentally add your own chords in while listening to music, shows that you are a musician. Stop wanting or “aspiring” to be one. You already are.

You say you want to be a doctor. That was achieved when you got your first play stethoscope as a kid. The way you were always enthralled with the doctors who eased the way through the check-up procedure and gave you candy when it was all over slowly made you develop a passion for this career. The way you are always studying different medicines for each emergency and the way you have a passion for healing the animals highlights your title. Stop wanting or “aspiring” to be a doctor. You already are.

You say you want to be a cook. That was achieved when you made your first dish. Whether you made something as small as chocolate chip cookies or brownies or even Rice Krispy treats, you became a cook. It’s the way you can no longer taste food without immediately recognizing the spices and seasonings used and knowing if there is too much of something or too little of something. It’s the way you easily know your way around every kitchen, even kitchens that are foreign to you, and the way you know which tool is used for the appropriate measurements. When your eyes light up when someone requests for you to bake them anything from your own imagination is the perfect evidence to show that you are a cook. Stop wanting or “aspiring” to be one. You already are.

You say you want to be a writer. That was achieved when you wrote your first roses are red and violets are blue poem in kindergarten. When you always take time out of your day to just write letters to yourself, documenting your growth and your feelings into a notebook, highlights the writer inside of you. It’s the way you cry in the middle of sentences because your feelings are so affective in the words you’ve just written. Taking every opportunity to put the world on pause and write down the feelings that are swarming in the moment and then pressing play to the next day and writing something completely different is evidence that you are a writer. After every sentence written and after every journal you buy to continue to pour out your feelings, you grow. You can’t possibly want or “aspire” to be a writer after this. You already are.

How can you aspire to be yourself? You can’t. Don’t let the lack of recognition fool you into thinking that you aren’t already who you want to be. It’s time to change, “I want to be,” into, “I am.” It’s time to change, “I dream of being,” into, “I’m living my dream.”

You are inspiring as you do what you’ve always dreamed of doing, so instead of saying, “I aspire,” say, “I inspire.”

—  you are already who you want to be