stared at this for like 2 minutes

8 Second Revilation

Alex reacting to Maggie’s fight with the Phantom in Ch18 of Kryptonite is a Painbow by @green-ranger-maggie-sawyer

——————


Alex had been staring at the monitor for what felt like hours. She’s seen the video dozens of times and still she doesn’t want to believe it.


The fight had lasted maybe five minutes, probably significantly less but Alex was trying not to think about it (2 minutes and 41 seconds - 2 minutes and 41 seconds from appearance and disappearance). Seeing the first few seconds of Maggie transforming had momentarily stunned her, not that she’d admit it. That Maggie had been hiding something had occurred to the operative in her. Little pieces that didn’t add up in stories and check ups that the doctor in her had brushed off. That Maggie was a Power Ranger? One of Earth’s sworn defenders?


At least the oddities made more sense now.


The first thirty seconds or so of the video were of little interest to Alex. It was the actual fighting that had Alex holding her breath, that had Alex reeling internally, that had Alex watching the video again and again and again. In two moves Maggie had been disarmed and striped of her armor. Now Alex had no idea how Ranger Armor worked, but she had to bet the tech used to remove it was explicitly designed to do that. When she’d first watched the video seeing Maggie get back on her knees after collapsing had her heart in her throat as she silently encouraged her girl on.


Then she realized it.


At second 46 Alex felt her world slip out from under her. Realization had stolen her breath right out of her lungs even as horror had turned her blood to ice in her veins.


There was no doubt that in that exact second Maggie had been about to die.


And Alex had had no idea.


The what if’s ran rampant in Alex’s mind with each rewatch. The trained operative rallied at the use of the Daxamite weapon and the arrival of the Pink and Yellow Rangers. The doctor in her filed away the knowledge that if the Daxamite weapon could hurt the interloper it could still hurt Maggie. The DEO agent in her noted the fighting styles used and the near loss had Maggie not summoned her armor in time to aid the others. The scientist in her wondered at the visible struggle Maggie had been in to summon the armor compared to the near instantaneous summoning at the start. Multiple parts of her noted the blood of the attacking ranger was blue.


Every part of her noted the threat of a repeat attack.


Every part of her watched the eight seconds of combat that had literally placed Maggie seconds away from death.


Every part of her was terrified that Maggie wouldn’t survive next time.

Okay so I’m like driving in the middle of nowhere Connecticut and I was starving so I stop at this
McDonald’s. I order or whatever and then get up to the window. The lady opens the window and repeats my order back to me and and says “that’ll be $11.82.” I said “I have this coupon” and show her my phone (it’s $2 off a purchase $10 or more) she looks at my phone for like 5 seconds, looks up back at me, doesn’t say a word. Shuts the window. Now I assumed she would be typing it into the computer that was right next to the window that I could see. But instead She walks away out of sight and is gone for like 3 minutes. The cars behind me start to beep as if I really wanted to be waiting there. She finally gets back. Opened the window and stares at me. After about 5 seconds I take my phone back out to show her the coupon. Another few seconds of silence pass and she says “$9.80” so I was like ok what happened to the other 2 cents. But whatever…. I give her a $10 bill and the $.80 in coins. She gives me $1.05 back, wrong but whatever. Now I’m waiting like a full 10 minutes for my food. The people behind me are revving their engines and Beeping at me. Like bitch I know. Finally get my food. Go into a parking space
KNOWING my order was gonna be fucked up. But she got everything right and gave me an extra McDouble and an extra 4 piece nugget. I was like ok cool. Then I look to my side and this is what I saw…

things that actually happened in my high school

1. in the middle of am homeroom (so like 9am in the morning) a kid just broke out a pint of ice cream and started eating it. and i guess it wouldnt have been that bad except once people noticed, everyone started whispering and pointing until half the class was surrounding the table literally BEGGING for some. the teacher actually had to stop reading the morning announcements and give a speech on how you shouldn’t give death threats over ice cream.

2. this kid i was sitting next to once went home bc he got a massive headache after staring straight into a lightbulb for 2 minutes bc he “was bored and wanted to see what would happen.” he ended up taking 3 advils after that, got paranoid and made the entire table search “how many pills of advil does it take to overdose” on a school computer.

3.  there was a HUGE ASS fly in the room and the teacher thought itd be a great idea to kill it by throwing a folder 4inches thick with papers in its general direction; it ended up going across the room and hitting a poor, innocent kid in the face so hard that the other kids at the table scrammed and started yelling “EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF”…and when i tell you that this fly was huge,,it was literally so MASSIVE that this one girl almost started crying when it flew near her, someone actually tried throwing a cup of coffee at it, and another person started screaming ZIKA VIRUSSSS and something about how they weren’t vaccinated. and mind you the majority of the students are dressed in fancy attire bc of the national honor society ceremony that was later in the afternoon. in the midst of all this chaos, this one kid stands up, doesnt say anything and literally just ninja slams his bare hand onto the table and kills the fly all in one fluid motion, all without saying a single word. the entire class just broke out in thunderous applause, including the teacher, and then class continued as normal as if the past 10 minutes didn’t even happen

4. during first period a teacher who lost a ton of weight over a 2 year period was giving serious advice about the importance of living a healthy lifestyle while this kid right in front of the teacher’s desk breaks out a FULL mcdonalds breakfast meal and distributes it among the table

5. kids that were in apush and ap spanish held a joint prayer vigil the day before ap exams began, so that ap students could literally hold hands and pray to survive exam season as well as mourn our high grades. everyone who went was required to bring in fake candles and food, while someone else conducted a prayer service. a special invitation was sent using our school emails, you had to rsvp in order to attend, and it was suggested that you wear black. our ap teachers knew about this, and they agreed it was a good idea somehow

Being Peter Parker’s lab partner would include..

- the angel is as awkward as always

- look at his lil face in this gif asdfghj he’s so precious

- a lot of spilling chemicals

- along with confusion

- ‘wait where do i put the iodine do i put it next to the sulfide or the sodium carbonate’

- ‘peter speak english’

- being paired up because you two were the most quiet people in class

- actually being the most shy babies during your first assignment

- ‘hi i’m parker peter, wait no-’

- BET YOU READ THAT WRONG HA

- anyways

- being so shy that you don’t make eye contact for a good two days

Keep reading

♡ bts as boyfriends  [ jungkook ]

Originally posted by yourpinkpill

- pairing: jungkook x reader

- warnings: fluff with a bit of smut which has been made clear, please skip past if this makes u uncomfortable!

seokjin - yoongi - namjoon - hoseok - jimin - taehyung - jungkook

request/ask - masterlist

  • jungkook invented being a big fat SOFTIE who’s head over heels in love

Keep reading

5

Sofissa+Jeffmads part 6

How to be Completely Heterosexual:  An Illustrated Guide, by Dean Winchester

1.  Constantly prove your heterosexuality to everyone around you.  Once that’s out of the way, you can do whatever you want.

2.  Once you’ve proven your heterosexuality, it’s perfectly acceptable to occasionally check out or flirt with guys.  

No homo, though.

3.  Have a male friend with whom you share an abnormally “profound bond.”

4.  Stare sensually into his eyes a lot.

5.  Gaze at him with complete adoration, even when he isn’t looking.

6.  Occasionally, look at him like you want to jump his bones.

But, like, in a completely platonic way.

7.  Waste five minutes to talk about how annoyingly cute he is in the middle of a serious conversation about the apocalypse.

8.  Personal space is optional.  Because, you know, close platonic bros don’t need that sort of thing.

9.  Find excuses to touch him whenever possible.

10.  Casually imply you’d like to have sex with him.

Congratulations!  You are now completely straight!

36 questions that can make two strangers fall in love

In Mandy Len Catron’s Modern Love essay, “To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This,” she refers to a study by the psychologist Arthur Aron (and others) that explores whether intimacy between two strangers can be accelerated by having them ask each other a specific series of personal questions. The 36 questions in the study are broken up into three sets, with each set intended to be more probing than the previous one.

The idea is that mutual vulnerability fosters closeness. To quote the study’s authors, “One key pattern associated with the development of a close relationship among peers is sustained, escalating, reciprocal, personal self-disclosure.” Allowing oneself to be vulnerable with another person can be exceedingly difficult, so this exercise forces the issue.

The final task Ms. Catron and her friend try — staring into each other’s eyes for four minutes, with the suggested duration ranging from two minutes to four. But Ms. Catron was unequivocal in her recommendation. “Two minutes is just enough to be terrified,” she told me. “Four really goes somewhere.”

Set I

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

Set II

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

16. What do you value most in a friendship?

17. What is your most treasured memory?

18. What is your most terrible memory?

19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

20. What does friendship mean to you?

21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.

23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?

24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

Set III

25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling … “

26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share …”

27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.

29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.

30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?

34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

The problem isn’t falling in love, it’s staying in love

Source: http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/no-37-big-wedding-or-small.html

Things that my crazy-ass Philosophy Professor did today:

1.) At the start of the class there were only like 10 out of 35 kids there, so he walks in the class, looks at us for a while in silence. Then says “Ah, okay.” And walks out. 

EVERYONE WAS LIKE LMAO WHAT?!

Then he came back in like five minutes later and was like: “Had you guys there for a second didn’t I?! Yeah, it’s raining so I’m not gonna leave.”

2.) Some dude legit brought in four small cheeseburgers and freaking FIVE cartons of chocolate milk and was eating them the whole time. And halfway through the class while he’s lecturing, my Professor stops mid-sentence, walks up to the dude (who is sitting RIGHT next to me) and is staring in astonishment at the guy because in like thirty-minutes, that kid drank all the cartons of milk and no one noticed. My Professor just said “How? Okay, nevermind.” and continued with what he was saying before. 

3.) He kept looking at milk kid who finished the burgers and had everything on his desk, like the cartons were practically falling off but he didn’t throw them away. Until he finally stopped his lecture again, went to him, and grabbed all his garbage to throw it away for him. The kid looked embarrassed and was like “Nah man it’s fine, I’ll do it later.”

And the Professor without looking at him with all the garbage in his arms was like “Hm, where’s the garbage? The last time I saw it, it was besides the ‘No food and No Drinks Allowed’ sign. Hm weird.” AND EVERYONE OOOOOO’d . 

4.) He wanted us to answer this question that we talked about like only five minutes before. But everyone was tired and just didn’t really want to answer. But he thought that neither of us knew. So he got on the floor next to some girl’s desk, like on his knees and started slamming his fist on her desk as he fake cried loudly. “We just talked about thhHHHHIiiiSSSSss!!!”

5.) “So we’re now going to talk about an argument that people use when talking about God’s existence. It’s called the Big Bang Theory. And no I’m not talking about the mediocre television show.”

A soft whisper in the back: “Mediocre?”

Your INFP ‘Companion’ unit User Guide and Manual

This manual sanctioned by and concept credit to @intpboard ;)

CONGRATULATIONS! Somehow you have found a wandering and bewildered INFP. Evidently they have offered you this manual after hearing you support Sherlock and their OTP. Take a moment to feel good about yourself, this is an important step in your relationship.

Your INFP companion will come with the following accessories:
Three (3) diaries (CAUTION: Perusal unadvised. Touch these at your own risk)
Three (3) everyday outfits
Two (2) indie outfits
Two (2) Tumblr blogs
One (1) laptop
One (1) mobile device
One (1) pair of custom-built earphones
One (1) unique tea mug
One (1) cat

Software:
You INFP comes programmed with the following traits:
Fi: Your INFP is a special snowflake. They will have invisible feels, but keep an eye out for the cute smile. And they probably really do Know that feeling.
Ne: Your INFP is weird and likes ambiguous things. May meme occasionally.
Si: Your INFP likes to store up good memories and database feelings like buried treasure for that novel they’re writing.
Te: Although it is their inferior function, your INFP can be executive and use cold hard logic to be remarkably strong and creative. They may need help adapting to the harsh outside world. May secretly hate everything (including themselves) if unhealthy.

Getting Started:
To set up your INFP companion:
1. Fill mug with tea and place INFP in close proximity of cat and a sunset and leave to bask until heart is pleasantly warm.
2. Sync with Tumblr (this should happen automatically through a deep emotional connection inherent in all INFPs, much like Bluetooth).
3. Allow thirty (30) minutes of continuous data exchange.
4. Sit beside them for thirty (30) minutes in silence as Human Presence Conditioning.
5. Get up. If your INFP moves to follow, they have successfully activated and synced with you. If not, repeat Step 4 with the cat.

Modes:
Quiet (default) - quiet cinnamon roll. May stare off into space, usually either very sweet or very sarcastic, depending on your model. May be a socially awkward if brand new. Be careful not to forget about or leave behind your INFP when it is in this mode.
Talkative - frequent activation of this mode usually correlates with quick Human Presence Conditioning. Explore topics until you find which ones activate this mode, you may be surprised.
Feels - may need unusual amount of solitude with all accessories in easy access. Be receptive of feels if expressed, to avoid software crashing.
Crazy/happy - have fun, roll with it, but beware of hazard unwariness.
Unhealthy/shadow (locked) - only activated under extreme stress. May burn everything in its path, or burn self in solitude.

Relationships with other units:
NFs:
Your INFP’s homey home. May feel threatened or devalued by INFJ units due to social constructs, but usually end up getting along.
SPs: Interesting territory for your INFP. May find Se overwhelming, but generally find them intriguing, perhaps from a distance.
NTs: May or may not get along, if they do, have very interesting discussions, good for software conditioning. May be cut by perceived coldness if new.
SJs: Can be very fun. INFP gets to feel like an educator in Ne, and may learn from high Si if healthy. Some of these usually necessary for grounding your INFP during lightning storms.

Feeding:
Your INFP may be constantly snacking. A ‘regular’ diet is not strictly necessary, but sneak some vitamins into their packet and fetish foods occasionally.

Grooming:
Some INFP units require more grooming than others. If your INFP excessively self-grooms, it is probably not just a phase (see Bjork). You have little to no control over this.

Sleeping:
Your INFP companion unit runs the risk of becoming nocturnal. Discover the cause for this - usually either angst or creativity. If the former, see Troubleshooting (p. 9). If the latter, arrange bedside outlets - NOT tumblr.

Frequently Asked Questions:
Why does my INFP procrastinate so much?
Unlike INTPs, INFP units have Te software, however it is in its beta version upon unit activation and the full version can be installed after some conditioning. Engaging them in tasks they have a personal investment in and using Divide and Conquer applications may aide effectiveness.

Why is my INFP so sensitive to criticism/so defensive/so salty?
See above question (Te software). INFP units also have an Identity Crisis application that is hosted by Fi, activated by ‘negative’ external stimulus and executed by Te. With the full version of Te, this application can lead to powerful self-transformation. Sensitivity should decrease with conditioning, however positive affirmation will help stabilize application launch.

Help! My INFP unit is stuck in Unhealthy / Shadow mode!
There are three main manifestations of unhealthy mode. If in shadow functions, an ENFJ may be helpful. If in the grip of Te, they may need help coming to terms with reality. Often fire and brimstone anger and ‘just do it’ mentality can help pull your INFP out of apathy long enough to grow healthier. If in an Fi-Si loop, thrust you INFP into a new situation, or several. In any case, getting your INFP to communicate their problems to other units (other NFs are usually best) will be highly beneficial, although your INFP’s Fi may resist initially.

Again, CONGRATULATIONS on acquiring your new INFP unit! Have fun!

19 years later...
  • Ron: So that's little Scorpius.
  • Harry: Yes. He's quite adorable, actually.
  • Ron: How would you know?
  • Harry: He comes to our house a lot... to play with Albus.
  • Ron: He does?
  • Harry: Yeah. Draco usually accompanies him... to play with me.
  • Ron: Draco? Since when do you call him Draco? And what do you mean, 'play'?
  • Harry: Usually Quidditch.
  • Ron: Oh thank god! For a minute there I thought-
  • Harry: We usually do it in the shower afterwards.
  • Ron: WHAT?
  • Harry: *snickering* Ginny always chastises us for being too loud.
  • Ron: *turning to Ginny* How can you be okay with this?
  • Ginny: *shrugs* Who am I to stand in the way of true love?
  • Draco: *walking up to them* Potter!
  • Harry: Malfoy! *starts making out with him passionately*
  • Ron: *just stares*
  • James: Bloody buggar! Dad is making out with Mr. Malfoy... again! Guys, it's been like ten minutes since you last snogged! Get a grip!
  • Albus: Come on, Dad! Not on the platform.
  • Lily: Mum, I think it's time you found a boyfriend, too. Dad seems really happy.
  • Ginny: He really does, doesn't he, honey?
  • Ron: *still staring*
  • Draco: *grabs Harry's arse*
  • Ron: *getting close to a heart attack*
  • Me: *smiling contentedly* All was well.
4

It’s Neil’s job to name their cats. If Andrew had the final say in it, they’d answer to things like “Cat 1″/”Cat 2″ or “Stupid”. Besides, as Andrew points out, Neil has more experience coming up with names on the spot. Neil argues that he has experience coming up with names for himself, not names that other creatures will be stuck with their entire nine lives. In the end he solicits help from the Foxes.
They name their first two cats King Fluffkins and Sir Fat Cat McCatterson. Andrew stares at Neil for a solid two minutes after Neil solemnly delivers the final verdict. (x.)

Hair, Sex, and Make-up

Being the youngest hair and makeup artist for the idol boy group BTS was your dream. Since you finally got to achieve it things were great and although it was hard being the youngest on the crew you knew that they loved you. You became close to the boys, but more so to Jungkook since you were the same age. However it seemed like things were going to change.

Genre: Smut

Word Count: 6k


Originally posted by officialwookkibby



“Yah, ___. Can you grab my makeup bag for me?”

“Yes, unnie.” You frowned in concentration and looked at Yoongi apologetically before running across the room and grabbing the forgotten make-up bag. Being the youngest hair and makeup stylist for the idol group BTS had it’s ups and downs. The boys loved you and you were close to many of them but the older girls bossed you around a lot.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

What are your favorite Shyan-ish videos/moments?

  • Shane staring at Ryan for 20 solid seconds during the live Q+A
  • anytime Shane makes Ryan absolutely lose it
  • the way Ryan will make a joke and then immediately look at Shane to see if he laughed
  • “I’m scooting closer to you, I don’t even care” and Shane’s strained laugh of “okay”
  • “You do whatever the hell you want I’m not gonna acknowledge you”
  • (2 minutes later) “You somehow tricked me into not being upset that you’re still talking”
  • when Shane looks at Ryan like this: 
3

Winter Soldier set pictures sketch dump

probably max 3 minutes for each figure

[ON REDBUBBLE]

Amis and co. as things customers at my (fast food) job have done

Bahorel: tipped me 10$ on a 9$ meal because I made “the best fucking fries in history”

Joly: ordered our largest size (which is enough food for two-three people) with extra gravy but then added peas on top because “I’m trying to eat healthy”

Feuilly: ordered, paid, and then just. Fell asleep. Right there at the till.

Enjolras: got legitimately angry when our card machine didn’t have a tip option and got even angrier when I said I was working through New Year’s eve until 5 am. Offered to call head office and complain about it.

Cosette: also on New Year’s eve, gave all of the staff chocolate bars and thanked us for working so hard and so late

Montparnasse: came in to the shop twice a week in the summer while we had a limited time meal called the Mac Daddy and only ever ordered that. Never came in again after we got rid of it.

Combeferre: lives in the flat above the shop, comes in every week with a ceramic bowl and asks me to make his meal in it (instead of our paper boxes) to reduce waste

Jehan: reads, considers, and takes a picture of every single quote I write on the blackboard. Always asks for extra pickles.

Gavroche: had an actual laughing fit when I squeezed the cheese sauce bottle and it made farting noises 

Courfeyrac: came in around 3 am on the weekend before Halloween dressed as David Bowie. Picked up a feather boa a customer had left behind, put it on and kept it

Éponine: started yelling at some idiot who was catcalling another customer. It got so heated they had to take it outside 

Musichetta: nice regular who just comes in to write Instagram handles on the board, chats with us for a few minutes and leaves

Marius: apologized like five times even though I was the one who messed up the order. Tried to pay with Euros (in Canada)??

Bossuet: came in slightly drunk at 2 am on a snowy day so the shop floor was wet, fell down literally more than ten times even after I mopped

Grantaire: stared at the menu of poutines for 10 minutes, gave up and asked me “which one’s the most dank”

It’s not like I stared at this panel for 15 minutes or anything, but if you look closely, Aizawa’s so fucking ripped that you can see his shoulder blades in that baggy tracksuit. 

Also, I assumed that each INDIVIDUAL weight weighed half of Aizawa’s weight. Since he’s around 6 feet tall, since Kakashi is about 149 pounds, I’ll assume that Aizawa is an even 150 for simplicity purposes. Each weight would then be about 75 pounds. From the picture, he’s wearing a total of 6 weights (2 on each arm, one on each leg). So in total, he has 450 pounds of dead weight on him. This fucking trash bag ran around like an acrobat, effortlessly carrying around 3 times his weight. BOIIIIIII ………. HEAVY BREATHING ALL AROUND.

Your INFP ‘Companion’ unit User Guide and Manual

Your INFP ‘Companion’ unit User Guide and Manual

This manual sanctioned by and concept credit to @intpboard ;)

CONGRATULATIONS! Somehow you have found a wandering and bewildered INFP. Evidently they have offered you this manual after hearing you support Sherlock and their OTP. Take a moment to feel good about yourself, this is an important step in your relationship.

Your INFP companion will come with the following accessories:
Three (3) diaries (CAUTION: Perusal unadvised. Touch these at your own risk)
Three (3) everyday outfits
Two (2) indie outfits
Two (2) Tumblr blogs
One (1) laptop
One (1) mobile device
One (1) pair of custom-built earphones
One (1) unique tea mug
One (1) cat

Software:
You INFP comes programmed with the following traits:
Fi: Your INFP is a special snowflake. They will have invisible feels, but keep an eye out for the cute smile. And they probably really do Know that feeling.
Ne: Your INFP is weird and likes ambiguous things. May meme occasionally.
Si: Your INFP likes to store up good memories and database feelings like buried treasure for that novel they’re writing.
Te: Although it is their inferior function, your INFP can be executive and use cold hard logic to be remarkably strong and creative. They may need help adapting to the harsh outside world. May secretly hate everything (including themselves) if unhealthy.

Getting Started:
To set up your INFP companion:
1. Fill mug with tea and place INFP in close proximity of cat and a sunset and leave to bask until heart is pleasantly warm.
2. Sync with Tumblr (this should happen automatically through a deep emotional connection inherent in all INFPs, much like Bluetooth).
3. Allow thirty (30) minutes of continuous data exchange.
4. Sit beside them for thirty (30) minutes in silence as Human Presence Conditioning.
5. Get up. If your INFP moves to follow, they have successfully activated and synced with you. If not, repeat Step 4 with the cat.

Modes:
Quiet (default) - quiet cinnamon roll. May stare off into space, usually either very sweet or very sarcastic, depending on your model. May be a socially awkward if brand new. Be careful not to forget about or leave behind your INFP when it is in this mode.
Talkative - frequent activation of this mode usually correlates with quick Human Presence Conditioning. Explore topics until you find which ones activate this mode, you may be surprised.
Feels - may need unusual amount of solitude with all accessories in easy access. Be receptive of feels if expressed, to avoid software crashing.
Crazy/happy - have fun, roll with it, but beware of hazard unwariness.
Unhealthy/shadow (locked) - only activated under extreme stress. May burn everything in its path, or burn self in solitude.

Relationships with other units:
NFs:
Your INFP’s homey home. May feel threatened or devalued by INFJ units due to social constructs, but usually end up getting along.
SPs: Interesting territory for your INFP. May find Se overwhelming, but generally find them intriguing, perhaps from a distance.
NTs: May or may not get along, if they do, have very interesting discussions, good for software conditioning. May be cut by perceived coldness if new.
SJs: Can be very fun. INFP gets to feel like an educator in Ne, and may learn from high Si if healthy. Some of these usually necessary for grounding your INFP during lightning storms.

Feeding:
Your INFP may be constantly snacking. A ‘regular’ diet is not strictly necessary, but sneak some vitamins into their packet and fetish foods occasionally.

Grooming:
Some INFP units require more grooming than others. If your INFP excessively self-grooms, it is probably not just a phase (see Bjork). You have little to no control over this.

Sleeping:
Your INFP companion unit runs the risk of becoming nocturnal. Discover the cause for this - usually either angst or creativity. If the former, see Troubleshooting (p. 9). If the latter, arrange bedside outlets - NOT tumblr.

Frequently Asked Questions:
Why does my INFP procrastinate so much?
Unlike INTPs, INFP units have Te software, however it is in its beta version upon unit activation and the full version can be installed after some conditioning. Engaging them in tasks they have a personal investment in and using Divide and Conquer applications may aide effectiveness.

Why is my INFP so sensitive to criticism/so defensive/so salty?
See above question (Te software). INFP units also have an Identity Crisis application that is hosted by Fi, activated by ‘negative’ external stimulus and executed by Te. With the full version of Te, this application can lead to powerful self-transformation. Sensitivity should decrease with conditioning, however positive affirmation will help stabilize application launch.

Help! My INFP unit is stuck in Unhealthy / Shadow mode!
There are three main manifestations of unhealthy mode. If in shadow functions, an ENFJ may be helpful. If in the grip of Te, they may need help coming to terms with reality. Often fire and brimstone anger and ‘just do it’ mentality can help pull your INFP out of apathy long enough to grow healthier. If in an Fi-Si loop, thrust you INFP into a new situation, or several. In any case, getting your INFP to communicate their problems to other units (other NFs are usually best) will be highly beneficial, although your INFP’s Fi may resist initially.

Again, CONGRATULATIONS on acquiring your new INFP unit! Have fun!

(via intpboard)