starbuck's secret menu

i know most of y'all wouldn’t pull this but like if u go to starbucks and ask for “"secret menu”“ drinks please remember to bring the recipe for the drink. if u come up to the counter and order , like, a Tinkerbell Frappuccino, no one is gonna know what ur talking about.

the ”“secret menu”“ isn’t a real menu, it’s drinks that ppl came up with and spread on the internet. we’re not hiding a menu from you

heart is where the home is | kth

alternative title: ‘from new york to la, you flew right to my heart’

summary: somehow, when you woke up this morning, you didn’t really picture yourself falling in love with the attractive, well-read traveller sitting next to you on the plane, but a missed connection and an alarming amount of hand-holding later, you find that you both get a lot more than what you paid for.

{airport au with the friends to lovers trope sort of???? i guess??}

pairing: taehyung x female reader
word count: 16k
warnings: mild overstimulation, sensual sex, hotel sex because i couldn’t figure out how they could have sex in an airport
genre: fluff, smut
a/n: this is entirely based on an actual real life experience i had when i went on vacation last month, except i didn’t get to meet a cute aesthetic boy and fall in love with him :’( can’t win ‘em all, eh? for the record, i love eating fries dipped in mayo.

You’re such a dad, honestly. It’s three hours before your first flight—to none other than LA, the city of angels (and dead dreams, and Starbucks secret menus, and no water), mind you—and the taxi you’re sitting in is only now just pulling into JFK airport. And it’s stressing you out a little, because you read on some awful Buzzfeed article that you should actually show up four hours in advance when you’re taking a day flight, since airports are usually busier and therefore tend to have longer waiting times. It’s kind of ridiculous, actually, showing up practically a quarter of the day before you need to be there, but you’ve never flown on such a long flight before, and if you’re not one-hundred-and-ten percent prepared, what’s the damn point?

You pay the taxi driver the hefty bill he requires—fuck you, morning rush hour New York City traffic—and grab your things, breathing in the ever-so-pleasant air of thousands of cars, vans, and buses lined up to transport people to and fro around the airport. All airports smell the exact same the moment you set foot in them, and it’s the scent of gasoline, over-cleaned marble, and misbehaving, tantrum-throwing children. It’s somewhat refreshing, actually, all part of the journey. A reminder that you won’t be trapped in the same old town any longer.

Sure enough, the airport is decently packed when you walk inside, pulling your large four-wheel suitcase—they are infinitely better to handle than two-wheelers—and your carry-on one next to you, a backpack hugging your shoulders. The line for check-in is not astronomically long, like you would expect it to be on a typical Saturday in JFK, but the line for those ticket kiosks certainly is. You roll your way up to the end of the line and wait, tapping your foot impatiently because the fear of not allowing yourself enough time still sits in your brain, only able to be resolved once you sit down at your gate.

When you finally reach an open kiosk, it’s all fumbling for your papers in your backpack that have your flight information on them, shuffling through the travel folder you store to find all of your flight times and numbers and whatnot. You’re a bit… anxious, to say the least, desperate to speed through the process as fast as you can so you waste no time, but the only thing you manage to accomplish is dropping all of your flight information on the cold marble floor of JFK in a flurry of A4.

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Adventures at Starbucks
  • Customer: Can you make a pumpkin cheesecake frappuccino?
  • Me: ...Let me look up the recipe. (Internally screaming)
  • Customer: (Goes on and on about how delicious the frappuccino is, how she's had it before but half the baristas won't make it)
  • Me: It's no trouble (FUCK THE SECRET MENU)
  • Customer: (Takes drink) OMG IT'S PERFECT, THANK YOU SO MUCH! (Leaves)
  • Me: (pours leftover in cup and tries it) Fuck. This really is delicious.

Holy heaven above ! ! ! This tea is called the “medicine ball” aka a creation on the “secret” Starbucks menu! If you have a sore throat/cold I HIGHLY recommend; this was exactly what Josh & I needed after feeling crappy all week 🙌🏻☕️

The “medicine ball” contains:
1 jade citrus mint tea bag
1 peach tranquility tea bag
½ water ½ steamed lemonade
+ honey!

A woman comes into my store with her husband and 2 or 3 kids. 
She asks me, “Can you do the Skittles frappuccino?”
“I don’t know the recipe for that one. If you have the recipe I can make it.” I tell her.
“What about the Willy Wonka frappuccino?” 
*resists the urge to give her my “are you fucking kidding me” face* “Do. You. Have. The. Recipe.?”
“Then no. We aren’t trained to know the secret menu drinks.”
She ended up ordering cotton candy frappuccinos, which is the only secret menu recipe that I DO know by heart.

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again: If you try to order off the “secret menu” and don’t have the recipe, don’t expect me to know it. Baristas are not trained to memorize the thousands of made-up recipes people come up with and post to pinterest. 

anonymous asked:

Has the crows and their regular starbucks order already been done?

probably, but we’re going to do another.

  • kaz: black, one sugar. was once convinced by nina to try smth fancy and threw it in the server’s face when it came out with whipped cream. was honestly so insulted that someone would look at him and think ‘this bitch would love whipped cream’.
  • inej: imo she drinks tea. loves spicy black teas with cinnamon. 
  • jesper: a quadruple espresso with kvas and whipped cream
  • wylan: a cappuccino, from his very own cappuccino maker probably
  • nina: the fanciest drinks with as much whipped cream as you can fit (likes to swipe some on matthias’ nose and take a picture before he can wipe it off). a ho for starbucks’ secret menu. loves frappes.
  • matthias: starbucks? no. would rather make his coffee own at home than pay for an overpriced coffee and have his name called and spelled wrong. his idea of a fancy drink is using hazelnut creamer.
  • kuwei: “i’ll have whatever you’re having jesper 😏 he says but is too much of a wimp to drink as much caffeine as jesper does and “accidentally” pours half of it on wylan. 

talk to me abt soc!

Frappuccinos for the signs

Aries: Chai Crème

Taurus: Red Velvet

Gemini: Butterbeer

Cancer: Birthday Cake

Leo: Cookie Dough

Virgo: Green Tea

Libra: Cinnamon Roll

Scorpio: Midnight Mint Mocha

Sagittarius: S’mores

Capricorn: Lemon Bar Crème

Aquarius: Oreo

Pisces: Unicorn

Dangerous Woman Tour Sacramento Soundcheck Highlights

Outfit: Ariana was wearing her yellow “Pizza rolls not gender roles” sweatshirt and had her hair in a short ponytail.

- Ariana said it feels way longer than 4 years of The Way and after a fan yelled, “It feels like 40!”, she laughed and said, “I was gonna say more like 10.”

- Someone asked if Ariana could do a livestream and tease new music but she said she isn’t ready yet, because she has a big surprise with this album and that it is something she has never done before, which is why she is taking her time with it.

- Ariana said she would never order the Starbucks secret menu drink that is named after her

- A fan yelled, “Toulouse let’s see your wink!” and Ariana said, “He’s so confused, he can’t understand you. He’s only a dog!”

- She said her favorite Sam & Cat episode is the ATM one because Cat breaks the law

- When a fan was shocked that Ari answered her question, Ari laughed with her crew, “Did your soul leave your body?”

- A fan yelled, “Justice for Focus!!” and Scott said, “Yeah!” and all the dancers laughed.

- The dancers said it was the loudest soundcheck they have ever had.

- Jones Crow was at Soundcheck.

[and now for a few non-soundcheck moments]

- During M&G, a fan told her to “belt her dick off” and instead of laughing like they expected, she just said “I don’t have one but okay,” so they responded, “Oh my god, I fucked it up I’m sorry,” and she said, “Nah you’re good,” and then the fan had to leave so the next person could go. Afterwards, that fan talked to Joan because they were so upset and Joan hugged them and said “Honey, I’m her mother. Believe me that she thought it was funny. She was just replying like that because that’s how she is with her sense of humor,” and then hugged them again and told them to stop crying.

- A fan mentioned during M&G that they had tweeted at her saying they would love to see a DWT rehearsal and she said “Oh my gosh that’s right! That was you? I wish we could have done something like that. Maybe in the future!”

- Joan told a fan that she doesn’t let Ariana look at Twitter sometimes because some people are so mean and it really affects Ariana even though she tries not to pay attention to it

Today at work some dudebro tried to quiz me about how to make a drink. At Starbucks. I am a fully qualified barista. At Starbucks. In fact I’m so qualified that I train OTHER people to be qualified baristas. And this guy, this neckbeard asshole, wearing a walking dead t-shirt has the AUDACITY to come into my store, my dojo, order a ‘tuxedo mocha’ and ask me to tell him ‘how i think it’s made’. And then, AND THEN, has the nerve to tell me that he’s, and I quote, ‘surprised you know what it is, most baristas don’t know the secret menu’ !!!???!!!!!? Like, listen here Ezekiel, you come into my cafe, my coffee kingdom, and insult my expansive coffee knowledge because you think no one knows what your basic ass half white mocha half regular mocha princess drink is? Like I’m some fake gamer girl but with coffee??? Unbelievable. Absolutely unbelievable.

If you know what is in the secret menu drink you just ordered, I will make it for you.

If you do not know what is in the secret menu drink you just ordered, I will not make it for you, because I don’t know what’s in it either.

And if my store, like the rest of the stores ACROSS THIS COUNTRY, does not carry the syrup that goes in the secret menu drink you ordered, I will definitely not make it for you.

No matter how much you glare at me when I say no.