starbuck's secret menu

i know most of y'all wouldn’t pull this but like if u go to starbucks and ask for “"secret menu”“ drinks please remember to bring the recipe for the drink. if u come up to the counter and order , like, a Tinkerbell Frappuccino, no one is gonna know what ur talking about.

the ”“secret menu”“ isn’t a real menu, it’s drinks that ppl came up with and spread on the internet. we’re not hiding a menu from you

Dangerous Woman Tour Sacramento Soundcheck Highlights

Outfit: Ariana was wearing her yellow “Pizza rolls not gender roles” sweatshirt and had her hair in a short ponytail.

- Ariana said it feels way longer than 4 years of The Way and after a fan yelled, “It feels like 40!”, she laughed and said, “I was gonna say more like 10.”

- Someone asked if Ariana could do a livestream and tease new music but she said she isn’t ready yet, because she has a big surprise with this album and that it is something she has never done before, which is why she is taking her time with it.

- Ariana said she would never order the Starbucks secret menu drink that is named after her

- A fan yelled, “Toulouse let’s see your wink!” and Ariana said, “He’s so confused, he can’t understand you. He’s only a dog!”

- She said her favorite Sam & Cat episode is the ATM one because Cat breaks the law

- When a fan was shocked that Ari answered her question, Ari laughed with her crew, “Did your soul leave your body?”

- A fan yelled, “Justice for Focus!!” and Scott said, “Yeah!” and all the dancers laughed.

- The dancers said it was the loudest soundcheck they have ever had.

- Jones Crow was at Soundcheck.

[and now for a few non-soundcheck moments]

- During M&G, a fan told her to “belt her dick off” and instead of laughing like they expected, she just said “I don’t have one but okay,” so they responded, “Oh my god, I fucked it up I’m sorry,” and she said, “Nah you’re good,” and then the fan had to leave so the next person could go. Afterwards, that fan talked to Joan because they were so upset and Joan hugged them and said “Honey, I’m her mother. Believe me that she thought it was funny. She was just replying like that because that’s how she is with her sense of humor,” and then hugged them again and told them to stop crying.

- A fan mentioned during M&G that they had tweeted at her saying they would love to see a DWT rehearsal and she said “Oh my gosh that’s right! That was you? I wish we could have done something like that. Maybe in the future!”

- Joan told a fan that she doesn’t let Ariana look at Twitter sometimes because some people are so mean and it really affects Ariana even though she tries not to pay attention to it

Today at work some dudebro tried to quiz me about how to make a drink. At Starbucks. I am a fully qualified barista. At Starbucks. In fact I’m so qualified that I train OTHER people to be qualified baristas. And this guy, this neckbeard asshole, wearing a walking dead t-shirt has the AUDACITY to come into my store, my dojo, order a ‘tuxedo mocha’ and ask me to tell him ‘how i think it’s made’. And then, AND THEN, has the nerve to tell me that he’s, and I quote, ‘surprised you know what it is, most baristas don’t know the secret menu’ !!!???!!!!!? Like, listen here Ezekiel, you come into my cafe, my coffee kingdom, and insult my expansive coffee knowledge because you think no one knows what your basic ass half white mocha half regular mocha princess drink is? Like I’m some fake gamer girl but with coffee??? Unbelievable. Absolutely unbelievable.

If you know what is in the secret menu drink you just ordered, I will make it for you.

If you do not know what is in the secret menu drink you just ordered, I will not make it for you, because I don’t know what’s in it either.

And if my store, like the rest of the stores ACROSS THIS COUNTRY, does not carry the syrup that goes in the secret menu drink you ordered, I will definitely not make it for you.

No matter how much you glare at me when I say no.

I literally can’t even go near the comments on any starbucks facebook page without getting pissed off at all the idiots that comment shit like “the employees at my starbucks told me they don’t make the oreo frappuccino!” or “i went to starbucks and they lied to me and told me they didn’t know how to make a captain crunch frappuccino i am so mad!!” or “I SAW A PICTURE ONLINE OF A HARRY POTTER BUTTERBEER FRAPPUCCINO WHY DID YOUR INCOMPETENT BARISTAS REFUSE TO MAKE IT FOR ME”

Then when they finally do find out that the secret menu is bullshit and has nothing to actually do with starbucks and learn how to order the drinks and what syrups and toppings to ask for, they sit there with looks of horror on their faces and get all bitchy as the price goes up like they thought they were going to get an ungodly amount of extra fat and sugar free of charge

I fucking hate people and their stupidity especially the ones who look at me like I’m stupid when I say I don’t know how to make a triple chocolate cheesecake frappuccino

Also why the fuck do people randomly ask for pumpkin or peppermint flavoured drinks in the middle of the summer like go fuck yourselves

A woman comes into my store with her husband and 2 or 3 kids. 
She asks me, “Can you do the Skittles frappuccino?”
“I don’t know the recipe for that one. If you have the recipe I can make it.” I tell her.
“What about the Willy Wonka frappuccino?” 
*resists the urge to give her my “are you fucking kidding me” face* “Do. You. Have. The. Recipe.?”
“Then no. We aren’t trained to know the secret menu drinks.”
She ended up ordering cotton candy frappuccinos, which is the only secret menu recipe that I DO know by heart.

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again: If you try to order off the “secret menu” and don’t have the recipe, don’t expect me to know it. Baristas are not trained to memorize the thousands of made-up recipes people come up with and post to pinterest. 

Alright, listen up. As a barista, I despise the “secret menu”. But as a Harry Potter fan, I feel the need to correct the recipe for Starbucks Butterbeer. You can’t make Butterbeer without butterscotch, but the Flan syrup is buttery enough that it comes close. This can only be made if your local store is carrying the Caramel Flan Latte.

☆Ask for a latte (or syrup creamer/steamer if you don’t want espresso)

☆Whole milk 

☆Toffee nut, caramel, and flan syrups - half the pumps for each flavor (a grande would have 2 pumps of each making 6 total) 

☆Whipped cream 

☆And caramel drizzle

Tip your baristas and enjoy your Butterbeer.

Fun Fact:

The “Secret Starbucks Menu” isn’t really an official Starbucks thing. If we wanted to sell you those special drinks, they’d actually be on our menu. If you order something from it, please provide the recipe. Don’t assume we know what you’re talking about. If you don’t know the recipe, you’re not getting it. Also, we’re probably judging you. (At least I am.)