star wars r2 d2



No, robots.

Cuddly robots…

Quirky robots!

Possibly robots?

Empathetic robots

Environmentalist robots

Sarcastic robots

Lazy robots

Incompetent robots

Cute robots

Cuter robots

Even cuter robots


Loving robots–

Hero robots…

no wait…

don’t do that…

don’t be a hero…

I know you can be rebuilt but dON’T DO THAT NOOOOOO

Fuck they did it.





request name

“Excuse me,” says the battle droid. R2 cannot roll his eyes, but he twitters in binary, something hard to translate but best summarized as: 

you heard me arsehole [the literal translation here would be: human excrement funnel]

I will shoot you,” says the other battle droid. B-1 models, flimsy in the face of a lightsabre – or a blaster, or a well-aimed stick – but more than a match for R2. 

“No you won’t,” says the first one, “the General needs him.”

“Well at least let me threaten him a little,” pouts the second droid. 


“It’s so –”

boring chips in R2 right, it’s boring?

“Yes!” says the first droid. And then he adds, more out of a sense of duty than any real conviction: “Republic scum.”

“It isn’t boring,” says the second droid. “Last week, Grevious killed my best friend. At least. I think he was my best friend. I can’t tell us apart, really.”

you have no names

I’m B-1,” says the first droid. 

“And I’m B-1,” says the second. 

“Mass-produced,” says the first.

“Could be worse,” says the second.

I was mass produced, R2 says hurriedly. but Anakin takes care of me. 

What do you mean?”

I’ve never been shot for target practice, says R2, and I’m allowed a name and –

It isn’t that bad,” says the first. Maybe the second. Hard to tell. “Anyway, you’re Republic scum and – “

The smack-shriek of a blaster. The first/second droid collapses, minus head. His companion says, “Never shot for target practice?” in a tone of voice that is, somehow, different

never ever, says R2. my friends wouldn’t let it happen.

“Friends,” says the droid. “He wasn’t really my best friend. He just went on patrol with me more than the others and I got used to him. Familiar face, you know. When the General killed him – uh – I kind of felt….bad.”

wanna get out of here?

“Roger roger,” says the droid, with feeling. Then: “Roger. That’s a name, right?”

yup, says R2.

“Great. Great,” says Roger. Then he hesitates. “What’re your orders?”

I don’t order you – oh, fine, babysteps, look just get me out of here. 

“And make sure that your Jedi doesn’t lightsabre me.”

Roger, roger, trills R2.

“Fuck you,” says Roger who, it seems, is a very fast learner.

Okay so I may have spent the greater part of the day thinking about this instead of studying but like image:

The Skywalker twins are born earlier in the war & despite the fact that they are all deeply involved in the war Padme + Anakin + Obi Wan (because lets be real he’s parent #3) decide they are going to use paid babysitters as little as possible and have the twins with them as much as possible.

It becomes quickly (and semi-reluctantly) accepted by everyone that Padme and Obi Wan will have a twin or two swaddled against their chests during meetings.

Padme debates policies on the Senate floor with Luke asleep in a sling.

Obi Wan helps organize troop movements with Leia held in one arm, the other hand and just a touch of the Force to keep her entertained.

Anakin quickly masters the art of moving around ships to repair/enhance with  Leia strapped to his chest and Luke his back.

It becomes a common sight to see Ahsoka walking through the halls of the Jedi Temple or the Senate Building with one of the children taking them to one of their parents because “Obi Wan was helping teach the younglings and they got fussy” or “Anakin and I have been sent on an impromptu mission and he’s finishing preparations”.

R2-D2 learns that if you rock the carrier they are in the human infants will stop its screeching.

Half the clones have at some point one of them unceremoniously shoved into their hands with the order of “keep them safe and get them out of here” because a situation has suddenly and unexpectedly erupted into violence and their parent/s are about to run into the fray.

Bail Organa has a small supply of baby toys/a spare set of clothes in his office for occasions where something has come up and Padme needs to go NOW and “would you mind? Just until Obi Wan can get here from the temple?”

There are even times where Mace ends up with one of them in his custody. He spends the time informing them of all the traits of their parents they are not to inherit, starting with “having children with Senators in the middle of a war”

I think I could go on forever but just the Skywalker twins ending up with like 100 unintentional non-blood aunt/uncles because there is a war going on & their parents are determined to use as little hired help as possible (so instead all their friends end up being roped into it)


Reference: R2-D2

Model: Sara Jean Underwood

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Someday, Carrie Fisher popping up will stop hurting. But, not today. :-(