the signs at a house party
  • Aries:kills someone wearing the same outfit as them
  • Taurus:hide their favourite snacks in an ornate vase so no one eats it
  • Gemini:starts a round of spin the bottle and rigs it to kiss their crush
  • Cancer:crying bc their crush is also Geminis crush
  • Leo:steals the families toilet paper
  • Virgo:losing their virgoity in parents bedroom
  • Libra:convinces inebriated youth to join their protest (fuck capitalism)
  • Scorpio:the murder victim (rip angela)
  • Sagittarius:the crush
  • Capricorn:still passed out on couch from last house party
  • Aquarius:has a 300 second snap story of the event
  • Pisces:gets too drunk and starts speaking whale
Our Own House.
  • "We built our own house, our own house.":Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn, Pisces
  • "With our hands over our hearts.":Gemini, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Aquarius
  • "And we swore on that day, that it will never fall apart.":Aries, Cancer, Leo, Libra
me being lame

I’ll be right back, I need a breath of fresh ARIES

I’m sorry, I swear I’m trying my TAURUS

GEMINI cricket! 

I CANCERtainly do it

I’m LEOnly cool person here

I don’t feel like unVIRGOing this 

I’m basically LIBRAn James 

S/he shoots, s/he SCORPIOs! 

Your pants are SAGITTARIUSing 

CAPRICORN on the cob is bae

AQUARIUSher , Usher 

I’m have an existential PISCES

What People Think The Signs Are  vs What They Actually Are
  • Aries (what people think):Bossy, cocky, hyper, chatty, optimistic
  • Aries (what they are):Insecure, under-pressure to succeed
  • Taurus (what people think):Stubborn, lazy, boring, opinionated, introverted
  • Taurus (what they are):Afraid of change and the unknown, sensitive, cut-off
  • Gemini (what people think):Chatty, know-it-all, nosy, hyper, shallow, joyful, stress-free
  • Gemini (what they are):Has relationship problems, lonely, moody, self-discouraged
  • Cancer (what people think):Complicated, unpredictable, sulky, possessive, clingy
  • Cancer (what they are):Cut-off, lonely, resentful, pessimistic, depressed, sensitive, nostalgic, shy, insecure, observant, intelligent, peace-loving,stubborn
  • Leo (what people think):Bossy, attention-seeking, spoiled, ambitious
  • Leo (what they are):Sensitive, warm-hearted, easily hurt, needs to be needed
  • Virgo (what people think):Cold, know-it-all, perfectionist, picky, honest
  • Virgo (what they are):Deep, over-analysing, orderly, ambitious, wants a purpose and to thrust, sensitive, wants to be appreciated
  • Libra (what people think):Attention-seeking, popular, chilled out, spoiled, eager to please, indecisive, push-over, fake
  • Libra (what they are):Peace-loving, confused, insecure, resentful, fearful, emotional
  • Scorpio (what people think):Detached, cold, penetrative, manipulative, dominating, secretive, mysterious
  • Scorpio (what they are):Misunderstood, chaos-fearing, emotional, intense, jealous, resentful, fear of failure, cut-off, unthrusting, intense lover, passionate, greedy
  • Sagittarius (what people think):Optimistic, foolish, nosy, reckless, irresponsible
  • Sagittarius (what they are):Well-adjusted, don't care what people think of them, adventurous, fun-loving, happy, hate selfishness
  • Capricorn (what people think):Bossy, shallow, manipulative, gloomy
  • Capricorn (what they are):Insecure, needs to prove their worth, lonely, self contained
  • Aquarius (what people think):Know-it-all, independent, weird, stubborn, confusing, push-over, wisecracker, manipulative, arrogant, special little snowflake, detached
  • Aquarius (what they are):Wise, observant, collected, honest, open-minded, kind, intelligent, questions why they're so different, wants to be appreciated
  • Pisces (what people think):Mysterious, weird, intense, junky, strange, pushover
  • Pisces (what they are):Thrusts their instincts, sensitive, unable to reject, considerate, brings bad luck onto themselves, emotionally unstable, spiritual, imaginative
who the signs have a threesome with
  • <p><b>Aries:</b> muke<p/><b>Taurus:</b> cashton<p/><b>Gemini:</b> cake<p/><b>Cancer:</b> mashton<p/><b>Leo:</b> malum<p/><b>Virgo:</b> cake<p/><b>Libra:</b> mashton<p/><b>Scorpio:</b> muke<p/><b>Sagittarius:</b> lashton<p/><b>Capricorn:</b> cake<p/><b>Aquarius:</b> cashton<p/><b>Pisces:</b> muke<p/></p>
  • Capricorn (Dec. 22nd – Jan. 20th) – Red Garnet, Amber, Black Onyx, Emerald, Peridot, Amethyst, Ruby
  • Aquarius (Jan. 21st – Feb. 19th) – Amethyst, Rainbow Fluorite, Bloodstone, Pumice, Mica, Turquoise
  • Pisces (Feb. 20th – March 20th) – Blue Lace Agate, Blue Kyanite, Aquamarine, Amethyst, Blue Tourmaline
  • Aries (March 21st – April 19th) – Diamond, Pyrite, Smoky Quartz, Red Jasper, Clear Quartz, Carnelian
  • Taurus (April 20th – May 20th) – Emerald, Rhodonite, Rose Quartz, Peridot, Carnelian, Pink Tourmaline
  • Gemini (May 21st – June 21st) – Citrine, Moonstone, Moss Agate, Pumice, Mica, Golden Tiger’s Eye
  • Cancer (June 22nd – July 23rd) – Ruby, Red Japer, Sunstone, Amethyst, Aquamarine, Blue Tourmaline
  • Leo (July 24th – August 23rd) – Peridot, Carnelian, Golden Tiger’s Eye, Red Jasper, Clear Quartz, Garnet
  • Virgo (August 24th – Sept. 22nd) – Blue Sapphire, Galena, Magnetite, Emerald, Peridot, Citrine, Carnelian
  • Libra (Sept. 23rd – Oct. 22nd) – White Precious Opal, Black Obsidian, Wulfenite, Pumice, Mica, Aquamarine
  • Scorpio (Oct. 23rd – Nov. 22nd) – Yellow Topaz, Chrysoprase, Malachite, Amethyst, Aquamarine, Moonstone
  • Sagittarius (Nov. 23rd – Dec. 21st) – Turquoise, Jet, Labradorite, Red Jasper, Clear Quartz, Sodalite
The signs’ angel wings

Aries: fluorescent bright blue, small, look like shooting stars in the dark

Taurus: pale pink, easily hidden, emit a soft star-like glow

Gemini: one wing is white and one is baby blue, both with silvery tips, little but powerful

Cancer: deep crimson, blazing with beautiful fire (but they aren’t harmful!!… unless you want them to be *wink*) >

Leo: dark green with white flecks, the softest feathers

Virgo: shimmery gold wings that create magic dust, when in flight the shimmery dust floats down softly over only the sweetest people and they are given lovely dreams

Libra: dark purple and extremely delicate with soft blue patterns that look like flowers

Scorpio: jet black with small silver streaks that resemble lightning bolts

Sagittarius: very long, soft white feathers, taper at the bottom, the tips are fairy-like and translucent

Capricorn: opaque silver, look like they’ve been dipped in stardust, long wingspan

Aquarius: the colors of a stormy sky, cold to the touch, they sometimes flash like lightning when in flight (only when it’s dark)

Pisces: lavender, fluffy feathers and very small

What The Signs Are Secretly Good At

Aries: dancing

Taurus: pop culture quizzes

Gemini: humour (at first they don’t seem as witty as they actually are)

Cancer: giving advice

Leo: manipulating any situation to suit them, covertly of course

Virgo: not studying at all and still doing ok on a test

Libra: cooking

Scorpio: learning languages

Sagittarius: sports (either they are flexible or have high stamina)

Capricorn: video games

Aquarius: singing (we’re not talking mariah here but usually tuneful)

Pisces: training pets, pisces are great with animals


pretends not to give a fuck but are actually cringing deep down inside about that awkward thing they did years ago: taurus, virgo

has no chill whatsoever and does not give a fuck: gemini, leo, libra, aquarius, aries

nicely gives a fuck out of consideration so they don’t hurt ur feelings: cancer, pisces

just wants 2 fuck: scorpio, sagittarus, capricorn

Why the signs giggle
  • because you complimented them:Capricorn, Leo, Cancer
  • because they find themselves hilarious:Libra, Aquarius, Aires
  • because of dirty jokes:Scorpio, Pisces, Virgo
  • because they giggle at fucking everything:Gemini, Sagittarius, Taurus