stanley and the big book of everything








anonymous asked:

Hi, What about instead of Stan getting deaged during the fight it's Ford? Stan's at a loss. He can't leave Ford, but how does one fix THIS? And Ford, what can he do? His glasses are the wrong prescription, clothes don't fit, it's cold, he hasn't taken the best care of himself & as he is now it's hitting him hard, Bill continues his assault, portal needs destroyed, books hidden, must stop Bill, can't see Stan's eyes, can't sleep, everything is too big, he's trapped, trust no one. It's too much.

               Ford sat numbly on the couch in his living room.  Stan bustled around, muttering to himself as he picked up shrapnel from old experiments and collected a pile of dirty laundry to throw in the wash.  Ford yawned. The movement jostled his glasses’ careful balance, and for the third time that morning, his glasses slid down his face.  He sunk into the couch cushions, trying to ignore how the sweater Stan had stolen for him itched slightly, or that the pants Stan had also stolen for him were just a tad too big.  His toes, exposed to the cold air of the house (the heater had broken some time ago), were slowly turning marble-white.  He yawned again.  Stan looked over at him.

               “That sweater keeping you warm, Sixer?”

               “Mmhmm,” Ford mumbled blearily.  Stan frowned.

               “Your feet look whiter than mom’s wedding dress.  Are they cold?”


               “You shoulda told me,” Stan said, dropping the shrapnel he’d collected onto the pile from the other rooms.  He walked into the kitchen.  Ford could hear him going through one of the plastic bags from Stan’s shopping trip earlier.

               If it can be called shopping when you steal 90% of the merchandise you bring home.

               “Here,” Stan said, reappearing and sliding a pair of thick wool socks onto Ford’s feet.  “That better?”

               “You didn’t need to,” Ford said.  

               “Nah, I did.  Being cold’s not the most pleasant thing.”  

               That’s right…Stan’s homeless, isn’t he? And completely broke, judging by his appearance.  Yet he still went shopping for supplies for me.  Stan doesn’t have any money to spare, but he spent it on me.  Ford sniffled.  Stan’s relaxed, if slightly forced, smile warped into concern immediately.

               “Whoa, hey, what’s the matter?”

               “You didn’t need to do this all for me, Stanley.  I can take care of myself,” Ford said, trying to keep back his tears.  

               Why am I struggling to not cry?

               “Stanford, I hate to break it to you, but…you can’t,” Stan said softly. “Just two days into you being a kid, and I’m already starting to worry that Child Services is gonna break down the door.  And that’s with someone trying to help you out.  Okay, yeah, that person’s me, but still.”  Ford rubbed his eyes, tears finally beginning to trickle down his cheeks.  “Ford, you’re gonna take a nap, okay?”

               “I don’t need to.”

               “No, you do.  You need sleep.”  Ford shook his head.  “Look, you did the thing with the brain scrambler, right?  So you don’t need to worry about that demon getting into your mind. There’s no reason for you to not take a damn nap.”


               “No buts,” Stan said firmly.  He tugged the cleanest blanket out of the pile of dirty laundry and wrapped it around Ford, then took his glasses off.  “You take a nap.  While you’re doing that, I’m gonna get a meal ready for us.  Got it?”  Ford was too exhausted to protest; he nodded woodenly.  “Good.  Sweet dreams, Poindexter.”


               Ford knew, logically, that nothing was bigger.  He was just smaller.  But that didn’t stop walking through the aisles of the supermarket from feeling like trekking through the Grand Canyon.  He clung to Stan’s leg the second they walked through the doors.  

               Bill has eyes everywhere.  He could be here.  He’s probably here.  Ford let out a small whimper and gripped Stan’s pant leg tighter.  Stan looked down at him, concerned.

               “Hey, it’s okay, Ford,” Stan said gently.  “I’m right here.  I’ll take care of you, protect you.  Understand?”

               “It’s only what you’ve been doing for a month,” Ford mumbled, trying to hide his nerves.  Stan ruffled his hair in a genial manner.  Ford didn’t bother getting offended.  They were on an important mission.

               A mere week after the Incident (with a capital “I”, naturally), Ford had begun to discuss finding Fiddleford and requesting assistance from him. After all, someone had to help take down the portal and develop a way to get rid of Bill’s influence once and for all. And, of course, help resolve Ford’s age situation.  Stanley, though surprisingly talented at childcare and supernatural intervention improvisation, didn’t have the knowledge needed to develop and implement solutions with Ford.  

               Stan had refused to let Ford do that.  Given their current size difference, Ford had to acquiesce, and wait. It had taken an entire month of nights of full sleep, balanced and nutritious meals, and far too many card games before Stan was satisfied.  

               “I still don’t think we should have waited this long,” Ford hissed to Stan.

               “Sixer, I was serious about the Child Services thing.  You looked like you were about to keel over if a decent puff of wind hit you.  You needed that month to get healthy again.  Bill could wait, once we did that stuff with the unicorn and brain scrambler to keep him out.  Anyways, after I got clothes for you that were the right size and fixed that heater, it wasn’t too bad.  Was it?”

               “No,” Ford conceded.  

               “So, where’s this engineer friend of yours?  You said this is his favorite supermarket?”

               “Yes, F enjoys their selection of apples and apple cider,” Ford said, adjusting his glasses.  

               How Stan managed to swipe appropriate lenses for me, I’ll never know.

               “Okay, the sign for produce and juice is…over there,” Stan said, squinting off to the left.  “Let’s head that way and-”  He was cut off by a woman seemingly appearing out of thin air to crouch down next to Ford.

               “Who’s this little cutie cutie?” the woman cooed at Ford.  Ford instinctively hid behind Stan’s leg.  “Aw, it’s okay, cutie pie, no need to be scared of me!” The woman stood up.  “Is he your son?” she asked Stan.  Ford froze.

               We never came up with an alibi for the two of us!  Stan chuckled.

               “Yeah.”  Stan smiled at Ford.  “It’s okay, Ford.  This nice lady won’t hurt you.”  Ford bristled at being spoken to like a child.  He opened his mouth, but Stan spoke before he got a chance to.  “Sorry, he’s pretty shy, Miss…?”

               “The last name’s Wentworth, but the first name’s Susan.”

               “That’s a nice name you’ve got.  I’m Stan.  Stan Pines. My son’s name is Ford.  We’re in town, visiting family.”  Stan lied with an ease that matched his knack for thievery.

               “I can see where Ford gets his good looks,” Susan said, fluttering her eyelashes flirtatiously.

               “Nah, he got some of ‘em from his mom, too.”

               “But I don’t see a wedding ring.”

               “Ah, well, I chucked it in the river after she ran off with a fisherman.”

               “So you’re single.”

               “Doubley single, since you’re the one who’s asking,” Stan said with a flirtatious grin.  Susan giggled.  She took a piece of paper out of her purse and scribbled something down on it.  

               “Here’s my number.  Call me sometime, handsome.”  Susan walked away, waving to Stan and Ford.  Ford tugged on Stan’s shirt.

               “Son?” Ford hissed.  

               “Hey, it was the easiest explanation.  Saying you’re my nephew or somethin’ would just be more trouble than it’s worth. Making up more lies for a cover makes it easier to see through.  And it’s only until you’re back to normal anyways,” Stan said in a low tone.  Ford grumbled and buried his face in Stan’s shirt.

               “Let’s just go find Fiddleford.”

Request: slash2556 / Lovesick

Gosh it’s been so long! I’m so sorry for being so long offline, had to do much schoolwork and life stuff- So sorry! So here’s some fluff!! Thank you for your request! (Also I’m starting to write more key points is that alright for you guys?)

- a sneeze needs him to start worrying and questioning your health
- you’re immediatley banned to your bed
- good thing is; you can wear one of his turtle neck sweaters since they keep you warm, he even gave you one
- is pretty gentle at taking care of you, gives you the perfect blankets, makes the light lower, makes sure the room is warm enough
- everytime he checks on you, he strokes over your head
- you aren’t allowed to leave the bed and to do anything that costs strength
- would make you soup and tea and check sometimes on you to give you your medicine but mostly does his work again
- what doesn’t mean you could sneak out, he sees and hears everything
       - “[Name] go back to your bed” only comes from the other room
- if you refuse, he’d just lift you up and bring you back to your sleeping room
- he’d only really stay in your room if you begged him several times
       - he’d also stay to make sure you wouldn’t try to leave again
- turns on the tv to help you fall asleep easier

- ends up talling asleep in the chair next to your bed himself

- hears your coughs and sneezes and already suspects that you caught something bad
       - “damn you sound like a dying rhino. You better go to bed and lay down             for a while.”
- but also will brush it off while he leads you to your room ( carries you if you refuse to)
       - “Is probably only a cold, nothin’ bad. Still gotta sleep a bit.”
- is actually very worried 
- noticeable on how often he comes to check on you, almost every five minutes with another excuse like he forgot something or like that
- if you ask him to stay, he’d immediatley do it 
- sits himself on the edge of your bed at the level of your stomach
- will tell you some stories to make you fall asleep
- if you do so, he’ll stroke your cheek and hair and give you a kiss on your cheek secretly before turning all the lights off and leave your room
- still comes often to check on you
- ends up laying next to you 
- Ford has to take care of both of you the next day

- is super worried when he hears your bad cough
- isn’t convinced that you’re fine ‘till he has checked it himself
- turns out that you got a fever
- immediatley brings you gently to your bed and lays you down
- will switch from Dipper to a nurse
- is pretty good at taking care of sick people since he always did it for Mabel when she got sick
- so he knows what to do and gets a wet towel for your forehead, makes you the right soup for your fever that also always helped Mabel, gives you a pillow that helds your head a bit high and a blanket that keeps you warm
- stays in your room all the time
- even reads something out loud of the journals to you since they actually are brilliant fairy tales
- is very relieved when you finally fall asleep to get some rest
- still stays in your room even though you’re asleep
- you’ll wake up to a Dipper sitting with a chair on the end of your bed, laying half on your bed asleep

- immediatley plays nurse but in a childish way and even dresses up for it so she makes it to a game to make it fun for both of you
     -”My dear patient! You got to go to your room, you’re sick! I will take care of       you!”
- makes sure you laugh often since it’s told to be the best medicine
- is even more silly than usual for that
- doesn’t know how to make a soup so she looks up a receipt 
- makes it a bit too salty but you still eat it since she made it only  for you
- tries to remember all the things Dipper did when he took care of her and tries to do the same for you
- is a bit rough but doesn’t mean it like that since she got a big heart and big love 
- does everything for you and gets everything you need;  want to read a good book? Got five for you! The pillow is too hard? Take these three soft ones or choose one of them!
- Never leaves your room, let alone your side
- snuggles up next to you and cuddles with you, doesn’t care if she could get sick or not
- ends up getting sick by herself

I hope it’s alright! Please tell me if it’s not!