standups*

“Very few people are what they seem.” - Agatha Christie

We are so happy to announce Margie Mintz will be joining us as Agatha Christie in Edgar Allan Poe’s Murder Mystery Dinner Party!

Margie is a standup comedian, actor and storyteller. She lives in Los Angeles with her husband and two ADORABLE children. Margie is currently producing theatre, mothering her children, and writing a-made-for-tv kids movie with her husband (Dan Mintz of Bob’s Burgers). She’s also contributes to @hellogiggles.

Edgar Allan Poe’s Murder Mystery Dinner Party NOW ON KICKSTARTER!

Anytime you need hope in life just scroll through the netflix standup comedy section; it’s a testament to people who there is no explanation of how they achieved any modicum of success

The final posting/ thankyou!

Hello everyone, this is Jenna here to write up the last post on this blog, as the zine is over and I’d give you an update on the final totals and how it was donated today!

The book raised $3000 in profits, and minus paypal fees and conversion rates from GBP to USD we’ve successfully given $2800 of that to Hampton Road’s Standup4Kids division. In fact I just did it now! 

From their thankyou:

“Your gift enables StandUp For Kids to provide outreach programs/resources, support in finding safe and stable housing, outreach centers, educational and life-saving services to our homeless and at-risk youth in America”

We were completely floored by your kindness and enthusiasm towards this project. From both Nicole and I we sincerely thank you for this journey, and if we do get a follow up email of how this money is used, we’ll update you here! 

I’ve also resent lost copies and failed return orders. We’ve resolved almost everything now so it’s pretty much time to close this chapter. If you have any last questions or queries regarding anything, email crystalgemzine@gmail.com and I’ll be happy to answer!

THANKYOU! WE LOVE YOU! <3

Bullying.

Bullying is such a big thing in the world. And people lose their life over it, everyday.

Being the victim of bullying is nothing more than a life of hell. Having someone constantly abuse you, (physically/mentally or both) telling you that you aren’t good enough, that you are ugly and fat and every little negative thing they can think of, ruins you.
Your life slowly turns upside down. You feel so alone. So empty as if this will never end. As if you have no way out of the torment you are put through. It’s excruciating. Feeling like you have no one to talk too. And if you do talk to someone, you have that fear of making everything worse. You’re in a constant battle with yourself. And soon, you start to believe everything they tell you. Start to believe you are worthless, and ugly.
And soon, you’re going to start thinking about stopping all the pain. From either popping pills, drinking, doing drugs, cutting your wrists, and even suicide.

Being a victim of bullying ruins who you are. Breaks you down until you don’t even know why you are still breathing.

Mental illness is so hard to live with and work through, especially when you are being bullied everyday.

But here’s the thing. You aren’t the only one feeling so broken, so much loneliness and hatred. You are not alone.

Falling into the depths of your thoughts will only make things worse. Talking to someone, anyone. It can be a stranger online. A neighbor, a distant cousin. Anyone. But talking to someone about how you feel, I promise you, it will help.

And let’s not forget about the bullies. They are so much more than just how they portray themselves. Let’s ask ourselves why they are the way they are? Everything stems from somewhere.

We all live different lives that hide behind cemented walls. We all have battles to fight, and some just handle them differently then others.

So if you see someone bullying people, reach out to them. Point out what they are doing can and might take a persons life. But also show them that it’s okay to hurt, and that you are there for them no matter what.

If you see someone being hurt. Looking so lost and know that something is wrong. Smile, tell them that you love them. Compliment their eyes or say anything nice. I promise you, that little gesture can save someone’s life.

We need more awareness over this. Bullying has taken so many lives, and it needs to stop! We need to stand together.

I love you. I am here for you. And your life is worth it.

I was tagged by @ordinarypeopleadorable Thanks, you are saving me from not-studying right now :D

1. What was the last movie you watched? In theatres?

In general, the last movie I watched was probably Captain America: The Winter Soldier (again) because my mom was bored and asked me if I had something good to watch.

In cinema: The Revenant with @standupstandproudstandtall - or as we call it “The Reverent” (it’s an inside joke)

2. What was the last song you listened to?

“O” by Coldplay, I think.

3. What was the last show you watched?

That’s a hard one. I feel like I haven’t watched any of my shows for ages. But I guess it was an episode of Lillyhammer (highly recommended, it’s hilarious!)

4. What was the last book you read?

I started reading “The Martian” just recently. I also have yet to see the movie.

5. What was the last thing you ate?

Roast pork, potatoes and vegetables

6. If you could be anywhere else right now, where would you be? 

My first thought was London because it is by far my favourite city, but to be honest I’d rather be at the beach right now. I don’t care where, just somewhere sunny and warm.

7. If you could pick a decade to travel back in time, what would it be? 

Ugh, good question… I love music from the 70s and 80s, so why not go there? I could see Led Zeppelin live! Or maybe Woodstock ‘69?

8. If you won the lotto and millions in cashmere what would be the first thing you do?

Cashmere like… the fabric? Uhm… Maybe give some of it to my best friend who is a fashion design student, she’d know what to do. And I’d probably use the money to travel. I want to go to Iceland someday…

9. Which fictional character would you like to hang out with for a day? 

I guess Bilbo Baggins has quite a few good stories to tell. And I could see one of Gandalf’s fireworks. Also there’d be plenty of good food.

10. What was the last fandom you joined?

I discovered Starkid like two or three months ago. Before that: Game of Thrones. One of my colleagues practically forced me to start watching it because she wanted someone to talk to (mostly about John Snow).

I don’t know who to tag because the two people I actually do know have already done this. So I’ll just tag one of my followers? @lulubelle1221? You don’t have to do it, though :D

Üniversite Öğrencilerinin Dikkatine!

4 yıl üniversite okumuş bir genç.
2 yıl da yüksek lisansını yapmış.
Neden yüksek lisans diye soruyorsun.
“Cila olsun diye” cevabını veriyor.
Bilinçsizce, amaçsızca, alelacele…
Sonra iş başvurularına gitmeye başlamış.
Cv’ye bakıyorsun, diğerlerinden hiçbir farkı yok, sadece isim farklı.
Gidip sağlam bir staj yapmamış.
Kulüplerde görev almamış.
Derneklerde, vakıflarda, kısacası sivil toplumda yer almamış.
Sadece okumuş.
Farkında olmadan boş yere okumuş.
Çevre yapmamış, insanlarla tanışmamış.
Rol modeli olan kişilere bir e-posta gönderip “Bir kahvenizi içmek istiyorum” deyip yanına gitmemiş.
Şimdi iş arıyor.
Milyonlarca CV ile aynı özellikteki bir CV ile iş arıyor.
İşin kötüsü yapmış olmak için yapmaya o kadar alışmış ki;
Çalışmayı da verimli olmak, kendisini göstermek, deneyim kazanmak, o alanda en iyi olmak için istemiyor.
Peki ya ne için?
Cevap basit : Para
Pekala, buna da saygı gösterelim. Soralım, “Ne kadar maaş istiyorsun?”
Cevap : “2000 Lira”.
Gözleri ışıldıyor bu rakamı söylerken, bir ömür ufak ufak artışlarla bu ortalamada bir maaşa çalışabilir.
Alıyorum kağıdı, kalemi. Basit bir hesap yapıyorum.
“Bak” diyorum, “2000 Lira istiyorsun ya, o 2000 liraya ayda 20 gün çalışacaksın. 20 güne böldüğünde günlük maaşın 100 Lira yapar. O paraya da temizlikçi Fatma Abla gelip evini temizlemez. Doğru mu?”
Gözlerindeki parıltı kayboluyor. Bu hesabı daha önce hiç yapmamış. Boynu bükülüyor.
“Evet” diyor.
“Peki sen 18 sene bunun için mi okudun?” diyorum.
Cevap vermiyor, ne desin ki? “Hayır” dese, cv’si öyle demiyor. “Evet” dese, yüreği el vermiyor.
Mesele bireyin ne kadar maaş aldığı da değil aslında. Esas olan bireyin kendisini daha lise sıralarında geliştirmeye başlaması, hedeflerini koyması. Üniversitede kendisini geliştirmeye ve hayata entegre olmaya çaba göstermesi, üniversite bittikten sonra bir işe herhangi bir maaşla -bu asgari ücret de olabilir- girmesi ve orada da kendisini geliştirmeye devam edip iyinin peşinden koşması ve hep daha iyiye gitmesi.
Bu yazı üniversiteye başlamak üzere olan, üniversitede okuyan, okulunu bitirmek üzere olan, iş hayatına atılmak üzere olan genç arkadaşlarım için köprüden önce son çıkış olabilir. Böyle tanıdıklarınız varsa lütfen okutun. İş işten geçmeden ne için çalıştıklarının farkına varsınlar.
Hayat bir anda akıp gidecek,
Hayatları akıl tokluğuna,
Karın tokluğuna avuçlarından akıp gitmeden,
bir DUR desinler.