standards!

*joins the braiya fanclub*

Confession: I feel so miserable and isolated. I’m going to be 20 in a short while, but I’m not even allowed to go out of my house without causing a problem. If I go out of my house to anywhere that isn’t college, I get talked down to like I’m some trash selling my body or something. In the entire year thus far, I’ve been outside one single time and it was with my godfather because he and I make care packages to give to elderly folks and he wanted to go running on the beach. I went outside that one time for the whole year and my dad got angry at me and started saying all sorts of things about me to my mom and brothers while I was gone. When I got back, everyone was angry at me and telling me what he said. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so hurt in my entire life. I think that the time my dad called me a disappointment when I was 14 pales in comparison to being called simpleminded, an idiot, a soon-to-be-slut, a prostitute, and all sorts of other stuff saying that I’m being sold to other men. And every day I try to not remember he said those things about me and that everyone wasn’t upset with me because they got shouted at in place of me or the fact that I’m trying so hard not to be hurt, but I feel even worse. My dad won’t even tell me good morning. He won’t even look at me. He won’t even answer my messages. He’s just acting like I don’t exist.

I feel so smothered. My little brother was going out whenever he wanted since he was 15. All of my siblings can go outside and I can’t. I can’t enjoy anything. I feel so miserable in this place. I’ve spent the last several years of my life watching the seasons die off by watching the trees through my room window. It’s just fucking sad and painful. And then, they tell me I need to make friends, but how the hell am I expected to make friends if they won’t even let me outside the house for 3-4 hours? I used to tutor and I was only allowed to be out of the house for 5 hours in a whole week. Whenever I try to pull my mood up by emotionally investing myself in something that makes me happy, this family always pulls me right down with their remarks. They always tell me “You need to go outside more” but the reality is that they won’t let me even go outside without it being a problem.

I’m so damn tired. I’m so miserable. If I try to find comfort in books, then I get shamed for it and told that I need to read the Bible. If I listen to my music (which is nothing more than classical instrumentals, OSTs for anime, or movie OSTs, with the occasional Chinese song because I understand Chinese well from classes), I get told that music won’t help me get to heaven but everyone else can play their reggae, country, pop, rap, hiphop, and whatever else.

I always feel so jealous hearing my siblings talk about their friends, the fun things they did, the places they went, the people they’ve dated… I feel so jealous and I can’t even help it. Everyone always says things like “You don’t even have a boyfriend” or “You don’t even know what it’s like to be in love” or “You don’t even know what love is” and I just want to scream because it isn’t my fault. It’s their fault for isolating me to this house, and it’s my fault for being such a good person and not wanting to make anyone upset or make anyone take the whiplash just because I decide to be defiant. Every time I go outside, my dad always gets upset and then everyone else gets upset with me and I literally only go outside to go places once every 3-4 months in a year.

I can’t even talk about how I feel. Every time I try, I starts crying before I can actually pull out the words or everyone dismisses me like I’m just supposed to sit in a corner and be a trophy child or doll. I think that my nickname “Dolly” isn’t even a harmless nickname anymore. I’m literally just supposed to sit here in my room and say nothing. I can’t even talk about the things that make me excited without someone telling me to shut up, but here I am as a dumb idiot that listens to everything my family has to say because I’m kind like that and such a pushover.

I wish that I had somewhere else to go—somewhere that I could just stay forever. I’m so tired of being treated like I’m 2 years old but I don’t have the heart to kick up a fuss because I don’t want anyone to be angry at me and I’ll only get an anxiety attack if I do.

4

POWER TO THE PEPLUM

So Spring has officially sprung and I couldn’t resist pulling out my favorite bright and bold peplum dress. The peplum ain’t anything new and I know that some have ruled them out for 2015. However, ruffles/peplums are always going to be feminine and flattering and I generally wear what I like — I still like.

xo, Ro

  • Peplum Dress - ASOS (not curve) similar below
  • Animal Print Shoes - Lauren Marinis
  • Quilted Bag - Chanel similar below

JavaScript is currently disabled in this browser. Reactivate it to view this content. Guest Photog: Niguel Valley
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Slash Signature Les Paul - as requested!

Gibson Slash Les Paul Standard 2008 Tobacco Burst sold by Wrongwie’s Nice Used Gear on Reverb

a cis woman with facial hair, even a full beard, passes as a woman

a cis woman with body hair passes as a woman

a cis woman with a short hairstyle or even no hair at all passes as a woman

a cis woman with a deep voice passes as a woman

a tall, lanky cis woman with big hands and feet passes as a woman

a cis woman who walks with a conventionally “masculine” stride passes as a woman

a cis woman with defined muscles, or even a completely ripped physique, passes as a woman

a plus-sized cis woman who does not have a curvy figure passes as a woman

a flat-chested cis woman with sharp facial features passes as a woman

a cis woman who wears what would conventionally be regarded as men’s clothing passes as a woman

a cis woman who doesn’t wear makeup passes as a woman

but when it comes to a trans woman, she’s told that her womanhood is invalid and she will probably be subjected to some form of overt aggression if any of the aforementioned traits apply to her. she’s treated this way not because she doesn’t actually pass as a woman, but because there is this desire on society’s part to abuse, humiliate and dismiss her for being “other,” and any justification for this will do

2

When asked about pubic hair removal, most American women tend to describe their efforts as a form of “self-enhancement”—a way to feel cleaner and more attractive. While some report opting to remove hair in accordance with their sexual partners’ preferences (and specifically, to encourage their partners to perform oral sex), most instead stress themes of hygiene and sexual desirability. Beginning in the early 2000s, popular media reinforced these themes, tying complete genital waxing to celebrity glamour.

The modern history of waxing and shaving is also the story of porn, movies, immigration and sexuality

“Growing up, my family spent summers in Colombia, and the weeks leading up to summer break were a nightmare. My mom wanted to minimize my size and helped me find swimsuits that covered up most of my body — like tankinis or one-pieces with skirts. I loved to swim, but I would just say in my cover-up out of the water. Most of the women in my family fit the prototypical Latina ideal. They’re all very curvy, but also very slender. I used to think: Maybe one day I’ll look that and my life will be magically better. In high school, I started to eat just 500 calories a day. There were lots of compliments about how my body finally matched the prettiness of my face. Everyone thought thought my weight loss was such a great thing. And I believed it was a great thing as well so I kept doing it. That’s the cycle with eating disorders — you get used to the praise so you want to lose more weight and hear that you’re doing something good. Two years into my eating disorder, I started to faint a lot, so my family got me a nutritionist and put me in therapy to make me better. But it wasn’t until I spent a year abroad in Spain when things started to shift positively. In Spain, people didn’t seem to look at my size. I didn’t have to worry about them secretly whispering that my ass was too big. I was able to wear a real bikini and feel comfortable. I also met a boy who was in the same program as me that was really into body positivity. He’d find me beautiful whether I was a size 2 or 20.” 

— Marie Southard Ospina in today’s new episode of the‪ ‎What’s Underneath‬ Project. For Marie’s full story, watch her video!

Plane crash happens in Europe —-> Why is it wrong that I appropriate the death of 149 people to talk about my issues? Let me use people’s death to talk about MURICA even if my cultural narratives don’t apply here!

Something happens in the USA —-> OMG if you aren’t part of the community concerned please DON’T BUTT IN, it isn’t about YOU! And now everyone must reblog what I say!