Do you want to quote more Shakespeare in your life but never find opportunities to say “brevity is the soul of wit”? Do you rarely hang below balconies exchanging love vows with the daughter of your enemy? This is just the list for you.
“What an ass am I!” —Hamlet, Act 2, Scene 2
“I am not a slut,” —As You Like It, Act 3, Scene 3 (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.)
“Hell is empty and all the devils are here,” —The Tempest, Act 1, Scene 2
“Commit the oldest sins the newest kind of ways,” —Henry IV Part 2, Act 4, Scene 5
“This is the excellent foppery of the world,”
–King Lear, Act 1, Scene 2
“Making the beast with two backs,” —Othello, Act 1, Scene 1
“The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool,” —As You Like It, Act 5, Scene 1
“To tell thee plain, I aim to lie with thee,” —Henry VI Part 3, Act 3, Scene 2 (Works great for courting hot widows.)
“I would rather hear my dog bark at a crow than a man swear he loves me,” —Much Ado About Nothing, Act 1, Scene 1
“I wasted time, and now doth time waste me,” —Richard II, Act 5, Scene 5
“Marry, sir, in her buttocks.” —A Comedy of Errors, Act 2, Scene 5 (No judgement here.)
“My horse is my mistress,” —Henry V, Act 3, Scene 7 (Uh, there might be something wrong with that.)
“Thou dost infect my eyes,” —Richard III, Act 1, Scene 2
“Better a witty fool, than a foolish wit,” —Twelfth Night, Act 1, Scene 5 (“Wit” is Shakespearean slang for penis.)
“[Wine] provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance,” —Macbeth, Act 2, Scene 3
“I had rather live with cheese and garlic in a windmill, far, than feed on cates and have him talk to me in any summer-house in Christendom,” —Henry IV Part 2, Act 4 Scene 1
“Now, gods, stand up for bastards!” —King Lear, Act 1, Scene 2
“Villain, I have done thy mother!” —Titus Andronicus, Act 4, Scene 2 (This means exactly what you think it does.)
“And thou unfit for any place but hell,” —Richard III, Act 1, Scene 2
“The first thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers,” —Henry VI Part 2, Act 4, Scene 2
“Heaven truly knows that thou art false as hell.”
—Othello, Act4, Scene 2
Note: It’s finally done! I liked writing this! <3 I’m sorry it took too long, but I’m quite pleased with the result! Enjoy! <3
There was a routine. Alexander Hamilton would always arrive before seven in the morning with tired eyes, plodding heavily his feet across the lobby. He would stop for a coffee in a shitty cafe and he would bring the hot berbage to the office, still warm and humming in his hands. His briefcase hanging from his shoulder, and his clothes clean but a little wrinkled in some spots.
He would greet the receptionist with a smile and head to the elevators. He would go up to his floor and enter his office. Then, five minutes later, Thomas Jefferson would come out from the elevator and smirk at him from his office door. The southern would occupy his place in the office across Hamilton’s, and then they both would start to work.
Along the day they would snap or fight each other. Jefferson denying his approval of Hamilton’s plans, Hamilton yelling at him to ‘sign the fucking paper’. They would fight over how coffee should be prepared like: Jefferson says with milk and sugar, Hamilton says ‘as black as my soul’. They would fight over anything they could.
And then, there were the meetings.
For anyone with the honor of being in the meetings, the fights Jefferson and Hamilton have along the day are nothing. Nothing, compared to the disastrous fights that usually took place in the meetings.
So yeah. That’s the way today started. Everything was fine. Or so it seemed.
For the KHR thing: Reborn had thought he was THE most stubborn bastard on the planet. Seeing Sawada Tsunayoshi stand up and caving in the skull of the man who shot him point blank on the chest gives him second thoughts.
Reborn knows a killing shot when he sees one. So when he sees the bullet that tears through Sawada Tsunayoshi’s chest like nothing, even before the child hits the ground he’s thinking dead. He doesn’t want to, and something in him - that fragile, tentative friendship he and Tsunayoshi have started - screams with the loss of those pure Flames even as Reborn himself goes on the offensive. If he can’t save his student, he’ll mow down an army in return.
But as always, Tsuna has to surprise him.
Even before the medics reach the body to drag it away, Tsuna is jerking upright - alive, somehow, and snarling as he charges towards the man that shot him. The man’s head lands between Tsuna’s hands, and there’s an awful moment of pure silence as Reborn realizes what’s going to happen, and looks away just as a squelch fills the air.
Tsuna drops the body, hands bloody with bits of brain between his fingers, and Reborn does not race to his side. Instead he walks over and says, “I was the most stubborn man alive before you came along.”
Tsuna laughs, but it sounds like a wheeze. The bullet probably nicked a lung on its way through. He still doesn’t know how his student is alive. “Got too much to live for. You’ve given me standards, Reborn.”
Reborn smiles at that. “Good.” He climbs up onto Tsuna’s lap and pulls the bloody remains of his shirt away from the wound. Up close, its not pretty, and Reborn can certainly confirm its a killing wound. Tsuna leans back and lets him lay his hands over it with nary a flinch. It’s quiet as the cleaners and medics come and pick up what’s left of the enemy or their own men and haul them off.
Shamal ambles over to Tsuna and Reborn’s side, eyes unusually sharp. “Mah,” he says, scratching the stubble on his chin. “That’s a rather nasty-looking wound there, Vongola.”
How are you still alive?
Tsuna smiles sardonically, tilting his head. “’Tis but a scratch,” he quotes, and Shamal closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose while Reborn fights down a smile.
“Monty Python, Tsuna?” he murmurs.
“It’s fitting,” Tsuna replies.
“You are a pain in my ass, even when you’re supposed to be dead,” Shamal finally says, and jabs a finger towards the vague direction of what is probably his office. “March, Vongola. Reborn, help me make sure your ridiculous student isn’t about to drop dead like he should have already done.”
Tsuna takes no offense at the ‘should have’. Merely smiles and follows Shamal’s directions, which is probably the only thing that saves him from being injected with something nasty.
(Shamal gets him back during the five weeks of bed rest he’s put on though.)
YOU KNOW WHO DOESN’T GET MORE LOVE. DEAN FUCKING McCOPPIN.
WHO IS THAT? WHO IS THAT?
DEAN, MY FRIENDS, IS THAT CHARMING BEATNIK MOTHERFUCKER FROM THE IRON GIANT.
HE IS SMOOTH AS FUCK, LIKE. LITERALLY SMOOTH AS FUCK. HE DOESN’T EVEN HAVE TO TRY. BUT HE’S NOT AN ASSHOLE SMOOTH GUY, HE’S JUST SMOOTH BC HE’S SO CHILL AND RESPECTS EVERYONE. HE DRINKS A LOT OF COFFEE AND MAKES ART OUT OF SCRAP. HE WEARS LEATHER JACKETS AND AWESOME SHOES AND SUNGLASSES ALL THE TIME.
AND IF YOU DON’T THINK THAT’S METAL AS FUCK IN ITSELF, HE IS THE LITERAL LEAST JUDGMENTAL CHARACTER IN THE WHOLE MOVIE HE’S SO FUCKING SWEET I WANT TO CRY. HE AGREES TO HELP OUT HOGARTH, THE PROTAGONIST OF THE MOVIE, AND HIDES THIS 50 FOOT ROBOT FOR HIM EVEN THOUGH HE COULD REVEAL IT AND MAKE A FUCKTON OF MONEY. HE STANDS UP FOR PEOPLE HE DOESN’T EVEN KNOW. “If we don’t stand up for the kooks, who will?” FUCK YOU DEAN YOU SWEET BASTARD.
I JUST LOVE HIM OKAY. HIM AND HIS SQUARE JAW AND BIG ASS EARS. I DON’T CARE IF HE’S A DRAWING I WOULD MARRY THE FUCK OUT OF DEAN MCCOPPIN. I REALLY WOULD.
He shook his head sadly. “The trouble is, you know, that once the taste’s got you it never lets go.”
“But you’ve been very good, sir,” said Carrot. “I’ve not seen you touch a drop for—”
“Oh, that,” said Vimes. “I was talking about policing, not alcohol. There’s lots of people will help you with the alcohol business, but there’s no one out there arranging little meetings where you can stand up and say, ‘My name is Sam and I’m a really suspicious bastard.’”
All dialogue and ideas behind the scenes belong 100% to Sarah J. Maas. I take zero credit for them.
Chapters 43-45 of ACOTAR where Feyre completes her third trial, solves the riddle, dies, and is resurrected by the seven High Lords, all from the POV of a miserable Rhysand. I warn you, it’s long and a chaotic mess because it’s late at night and my feels after finishing rereading the bloody book were a hot mess, i just couldn’t wait until a time when I’d be more sane to write it. So… here ya go, haha.
Watching Feyre enter the throne room for her final trial was… a challenge. As with the last trial, I had no idea what Amarantha had in store for her, only that it would be cruel and sneaky and very likely a trick. I still believed Feyre could do it, could beat her, but Amarantha would not go quietly nor without damage and that was what scared me. We would leave this room together today, but at what cost?
And then, there she stood, my Feyre, before our evil queen, chin held high and boldness in her stance. At long last, the end was here.
Requested by anonymous:
Can u write something where y/n comes home really bruised because of her
ex and Shawn is hella worried because he took the time off tour and y/n
hadn’t said anything. Love ur writing btw
Note: this one is super super short due to me not feeling comfortable to write a huge thing. I’ve had personal experiences with this one (not me, but people I know) and it was kind of difficult to write this, but I did the best I could. I truly hope you can understand!
TRIGGER WARNING: MENTIONS/FLASHBACKS TO DOMESTIC ABUSE
It wasn’t on purpose.
It never was.
But, lately, you had been running into him.
It was never intentional on your part, but probably always intentional on his.
He had cornered you coming out of the market and let’s just say that he never got over the fact that you broke up with himand found someone better, aka, Shawn.
It was right after Shawn was caught surprising you with a break from tour and he saw it. He definitely saw it.
Thou, Nature, art my goddess; to thy law
My services are bound. Wherefore should I
Stand in the plague of custom, and permit
The curiosity of nations to deprive me,
For that I am some twelve or fourteen moonshines
Lag of a brother? Why bastard? wherefore base?
When my dimensions are as well compact,
My mind as generous, and my shape as true,
As honest madam’s issue? Why brand they us
With base? with baseness? bastardy? base, base?
Who, in the lusty stealth of nature, take
More composition and fierce quality
Than doth, within a dull, stale, tired bed,
Go to th’ creating a whole tribe of fops
Got ‘tween asleep and wake? Well then,
Legitimate Edgar, I must have your land.
Our father’s love is to the bastard Edmund
As to th’ legitimate. Fine word- 'legitimate’!
Well, my legitimate, if this letter speed,
And my invention thrive, Edmund the base
Shall top th’ legitimate. I grow; I prosper.
Now, gods, stand up for bastards!
Edmund, from “King Lear”
This might be very favorite Shakespeare monologue. Edmund is a cold character with a distrust of tradition that makes him a compelling villain for times like ours.
*I have no idea how long this productive wave is going to last but for now I’m not gonna question it! Have some mainly dialogue and these silly kids being dumb!*
Pairing: Reader x Peter Pan
Warning: mild language
Peter waited until he was sure Y/N was deeply asleep before letting out an aggravated groan. Sobriety was overtaking him and his actions from tonight were coming back to haunt him. The wedding reception, wasting his magic on dressing them up, the wine, the dancing, and the kiss.
They were both drunk, tipsy at the very least. That’s all it was. A boy and a girl that had a cup too many of wine and things got a little out of hand. There was nothing more to think about. Nothing at all.
He stole a glance at Y/N. If he was going to admit anything it was that Y/N, naive as she seemed, was a pretty spot on kisser. Everything about it was just intense, fueled even more so by their drunken state. What would have happened had that old fling not shown up and interrupted them? Would they have gone on kissing? Would he have pushed her away? Would she have pushed him away? Would things have gone farther? With the atmosphere going on it seemed like the sky was the limit.
It was a good thing Scarlet, or Giselle or whatever her name was, came by. Y/N was his Lost Girl. While she could be the most infuriatingly nosey, disrespectful and deceptive twit in all the realms Peter couldn’t bring himself to hate her. She was in her own strange way his friend. She was loyal yet deceitful, kind but also ruthless, and as naive as she was clever. It was like living with a walking contradiction. Hell, she even made him contradict himself if he was around her long enough. It was just this strange aura about her that made him want to keep her in the dark yet looked at her like a trusted confidant.
“Oh my confusing Lost Girl…” he mumbled to himself, “You’ll be the death of me.”
“Rise and shine!” a loud voice shook me awake. I squinted against the light. Oh god, is this what death feels like?
“Ugh…” I covered her ears. “No talking.”
“Not happening.” I was pulled up against my will, “Not fun is it?” Peter shouted in my ear.
My hand wrapped around his throat, “I will strangle you.”
“And I’ll let you,” he pried my hand off him and stood up, “Once you stand up.”
“Bastard.” I glared hard at him as I shakily got to my feet. “See, I’m fine.”
“Sure you are.” he gave me a push and I collapsed back to the ground. He sat down across from me and pressed either hand to my head. “Normally I would love to milk your suffering but we do need to get a move on.”
My headache and soreness in my muscles started to ease. “Better?”
“Much.” I stretched my arms above my head now able to move without wanting to die. “Wait…did you keep watch the entire night?”
“Yeah,” he shrugged.
“Why? I could have–”
“No, you couldn’t have. I wasn’t going to be able to sleep anyways so it doesn’t make a difference. Let’s get moving.”
We got up and started walking. We would have to find a new town now. It wasn’t until we had been on the road for a while that the night before really started to come back. The wedding reception we crashed, all the wine we drank, there was spinning and dancing and even more spinning. Peter and I had been dancing and then we stopped. Why did we–
“Oh my god.” I tried to steady myself, “Last night, did we…?”
“I thought that was a dream.” Everything from last night is all kinds of fuzzy and I was hoping that my little make-out with Peter had been just a creation of my drunken subconscious.
“A dream come true?” he joked.
“For you maybe.” I jabbed him in the ribs.
“That night was a little hazy but you seemed to be enjoying yourself.”
“I was drunk. If I hadn’t been I wouldn’t have, trust me.”
“What about back on Neverland? You kissed me.” he reminded me and my face grew hot.
“To distract you. Remember?”
“No, I believe you. I really do.”
“Pan? Awe, are you upset with me?” he cooed in that way he knew sent my blood boiling.
“You’re such a prat!” I stomped on ahead of him.
“A prat you made out with!” he shouted and I picked up the pace, “It wasn’t like it was that great anyways. You are a pretty terrible kisser.”
I stopped dead and slowly turned around. “Excuse you?” I stormed back up to him, “If memory serves you were pretty into it.”
“Well I was drunk wasn’t I? I probably would have felt the same way if I had been locking lips with a discarded fish head. Then again, the fish would have been better than–”
I grabbed his collar and kissed him hard. As if on instinct his hands reached to cradle the back of my head as he kissed me back. I pushed him back with a smirk. “You’re right, a fish head would be better.”
I swaggered ahead leaving Peter standing dazed behind me. Good. Maybe I surprised him enough that he’ll shut up for a couple minutes. I need some peace and quiet while I mulled over the last twenty four hours. Within that time frame I had: woken up intertwined with my leader, gone through multiple greasy shops looking for a way back home, got drunk at a stranger’s wedding reception where I made out with Peter, got chased out of said party because he’s a whore, woke up with a hangover, got in a fight with Peter which ended with me kissing him. It is too early for me to deal with this crap.
Shortly a small town came into view just off the main road. Good, I’m starving. I reached for my coin pouch but found nothing. I’m still in the stolen dress from the last town. I checked myself over and was relieved to see I still had my dagger and there was the drawing Peter had given me in my pocket. My money though and my old clothes were long gone. Just perfect.
“What’s wrong now?” Peter had fallen into step next to me.
“My stuff was back at the inn you got us kicked out of. Including all the money I had pocketed.”
“So? Just steal some more, you didn’t have a problem with it before.” he shrugged.
“I don’t have the patience for pickpocketing today. Plus, I’m weak with hunger.” I leaned on him dramatically, “Please oh benevolent leader, steal some food for your humble Lost Girl before she dies of starvation!”
“Are you still drunk?” he pushed me off.
“Peter, please.” I groaned louder. I dropped my dead weight onto him so he was forced to drag me along. “Please get us some food!”
“Okay fine!” he snapped, “Whining little twit…”
“You know you love me.”
He went up to a stand and started loading a burlap sack full of food as he made small talk with the vendor. “Hey son,” the vendor stopped him, “You able to pay for all this?”
“Of course, just let me get my money from my friend over there.” He walked up to me.
“Peter, I just told you I don’t have–”
“Run.” he whispered.
“Run!” he pulled on my arm. I tripped along behind him as we made a break for it. The vendor yelled after us and a few brave villagers tried to stop us. I knocked them out of the way easily and soon we were back on the trail far from the little village with a sack full of free food.
“Not how I pictured getting breakfast but effective nonetheless.” I pulled a carrot out of the bag. “Subtlety isn’t your strong suit is it?”
“I more than make up for it.”
“My rugged good looks.” he winked and I automatically felt inclined to stab my carrot in his eye.
“No, really. What?”
“Magic of course idiot.” he bonked a parsnip against my forehead.
“Y’know, for as long as I’ve known you I haven’t seen you use magic all that much. At least not anything that fantastic.”
“What? Everything you’ve done is kind of lackluster compared to the kind of stuff I’ve heard witches and warlocks being able to do.”
“I changed your rags into a beautiful dress fit for a princess. That’s lackluster?”
“Lost Girl, you are inadvertently a mean person. Did you know that?”
“Not my fault you only use your powers so mundanely.”
“If you saw me in a battle then you would think differently.”
“Peter, I’ve battled you before…and won.”
“Hand to hand, you’ve never seen me in a magic duel though. If you had then you would think differently.”
“I’m sure I would.” All this talk about magic has me thinking of Neverland. I wonder how the boys are doing. Peter and I have been gone for a couple days now. They must be worried or at least wondering where we went. “Hey, how long do you think we’re going to be stuck here?”
“Can’t say. It could take weeks before we find a way back to Neverland.”
“Weeks! But what about everyone back home? Can they go that long with you missing?”
“They know that when I’m not around Felix is in charge. He is more than capable of keeping the troublemakers in line. Don’t stress about it so much.”
“Oh right, Felix.” I had almost forgotten about him. In fact being away from Neverland even for a short while I had forgotten about almost all the boys. Even my best friend, Devin.
I bit into my carrot sorrowfully. I just wanted to back home where things were warm and food was free and my friends were there to make me smile. Now I’m stuck in this cold realm with Peter who I’m not even sure forgives me for trapping us here. I don’t even know if he’s forgiven me for butting into his past like I did.
“Hm?” he peered down at me.
“I know I said it before and I’m sorry to bring it up again but I do want you to know that I’m sorry for not respecting your privacy before. It was a terrible thing to do after all the crap I’ve put you through.”
“What’s brought this on?”
“I don’t expect you to forgive me but I wanted to say that I’m glad you told me in the end even if you didn’t want to. Things like this, what you’re going through, the burden you carry, it’s not healthy to keep it to yourself. I know, you helped me recognize that.”
“You are my friend, Peter. I want to help you even if there’s nothing for me to do.”
“Y/N.” he dropped the bag of food and grasped me by the shoulders. I was brought to silence by the steady gaze of his bright green eyes. “You have helped me.”
“As much trouble as you’ve caused me I don’t regret telling you about my problems. You were right when you said it was stifling keeping it to myself. I needed to confide in someone the whole truth and that was you. Strange as it may seem, you have proven in your own mystifying way that you are my friend and you’ll always be a friend.”
“Peter…” hearing him say that was more than I needed, certainly more than I had ever hoped to get out of him.
“Of course if you mention I said any of this when we get back to Neverland I will deny it and make you sleep in the cages for a month.” he returned to his threatening demeanor in an instant.
“Wouldn’t dream of it.” I picked up the bag and handed it back to him, “Also, although I know this is only for when we’re away from the safety of Neverland, but when we get home I’d like it if I could continue to call you Peter. After all of this I don’t think I could go back to calling you Pan and not be derogatory about it.”
“No need to be so defensive about it, it is your name after all.” I smirked and he returned the same sarcastic grin.
Request: HELLO PERSON!!!! I HAS A REQUEST FOR YOUS!!! So what if George dating this hufflepuff girl who is half human half mermaid. Like her dad is a merman and her mom’s a human witch or whatever. What do you think!? Your amazing stay beautiful!!! 💋
A/N: HELLO FRIEND!!I love the thought of this imagine, i think about the story all the time! I don’t know how true some of the facts are, but yeah I’M SO HAPPY YOU REQUESTED THIS! also sorry for not posting in a while
Squicks: Bitta swearing, bitta blood
For today’s lesson in Care for Magical Creatures, Hagrid had asked the class to meet by the Black Lake. No one knew what strange and terrifying creature Hagrid would introduce you all to today, but it was never really good.
You, Harry, Ron and Hermione were apprehensive on Hagrid’s classes, but because it was Hagrid, you tried to always show as much enthusiasm as possible, which was sometimes hard…
“Right, now…” Hagrid began as he walked towards the crowd of students, “Who can ‘ave a guess at what we’re going ter be doing today?”
Everyone looked out into the lake, thinking that surely there can’t be anything too dangerous in there, since the lake was in the school,
“Hagrid…” Hermione started, looking at him with a wary expression, “we aren’t studying merpeople, are we?”
A shiver went through your body hearing the word. Oh God.
“Right you are, Hermione!” Hagrid confirmed happily, “today, we’re goin’ ter be studyin’ merpeople”.
“Now, obviously we can’t see ‘em, nor go into the lake ter see ‘em, but this is where they be alrigh’”.
Hagrid began to explain about merpeople and all the facts that we would need to know for your upcoming essay on them,
“Now, merpeople ‘ave greyish skin and long, wild, dark green hair. Their eyes are yellow, jus’ like their broken teeth, and they wear thick ropes of pebbles around their necks.“ Hagrid explained,
“Not all of them,” you say before you could stop yourself.
Everyone turned to look at you, waiting for you to continue,
“Er, half-breed merpeople take on the appearance as regular humans,” you say nervously, everyone looking at you with bewilderment, Hagrid looking asthough he wanted you to continue, “Well… when they touch water, their legs bind together to form a tail and gills form on the side of their necks, and they only transform back to their human form once they’re completely dry,”
“How did yer know all that?” Hagrid asked, looking wildly impressed, “Yer ain’t supposed ter learn all that ’til Year 5,”
“Just enthusiastic, I guess,” you say with a smile, trying to not look so nervous,
“Well nonetheless, well done Y/n, 20 points to Gryffindor!”
You smiled a thank-you to Hagrid, and looked back out over the lake while he continued to teach the class about merpeople.
“For yer homework, I want each o’ yer ter write six inches of parchment on merpeople,” a few of the students groaned, “Write as much as yer know on merpeople, even if it is higher than O.W.L level” he said, looking at you.
Once again, your class met on the dock at the edge of the Black Lake. Before class started, everyone handed up their rolls of parchment to Hagrid.
I should’ve mentioned this before… You were smitten over George Weasley. Since you were two years younger than him, you didn’t really get to spend much time with him or his twin brother Fred. Today, however, it seems as though his class has joined yours for some strange reason.
“Now, as yer may ‘ave noticed,” Hagrid said, getting everyone’s attention, “we ‘ave the year 5 class joining us today,” the students from each class looked at the others, George giving you a smile and a wink, giving you butterflies,
“Now, they’re ‘ere because a certain someone” Hagrid said looking directly at you with a big smile, “…is top of the class not only in her own, but in the year 5 class as well!” he continued with a beaming proud smile on his face. You blushed at all the eyes staring at you, God I hope no one suspects anything…
“Now, year 3s, I’ll have you get out yer Monster Book of Monsters, year 5’s, yer Fantastic Beasts”.
While everyone was rummaging through their bags, Draco Malfoy strode over to you,
“I bet Hermione must be cut,” he said with a mean looking smile, “Someone’s finally out-nerded the Mudblood in class!” Crabe and Goyle both laugh as if Draco had told the best joke ever, with Hermione looking hurt yet disgusted.
“Shove off, Malfoy,” you say menacingly, getting up from your bag,
He laughs at you, looking at Crabe and Goyle with a satisfied smirk on his face,
“How is it you know so much about those stupid fish people, hm?” he asks you, as you clenched your fists by your sides.
“They weren’t in any of the textbooks we have, and we all know you’re not smart enough to have known all that shit anyway,” the Slytherin’s all laugh, getting the attention of the other students, including the twins, George keeping a close eye.
Malfoy steps closer to you, his face inches from yours, “there’s only one reason i can think of…”
and before you could say anything, Malfoy pushes you as hard as he can, sending you stumbling backwards. You scream as you slip on the edge of the dock and suddenly you’re submerged in the dark waters of the Black Lake.
You can hear people calling out to you, and you can see the blurry shapes of people leaning over the dock, looking into the water.
You look down and see your legs beginning to shimmer a blue-green colour. You feel the skin of the side of your neck tear and the cool water rushing in and out, enabling you to breathe. Now your legs had binded together, forming a shimmering tail.
You turn around, but before you can swim away out of embarrassment, you’re face-to-face with four angry looking merpeople, all of them wielding tridents. You try to swim back to the dock but they grab hold of your tail, pulling you back towards you, where they start to slash at you.
“George, what are you doing?” Fred asks his brother, as George begins taking his shirt off,
“Someone’s got to go and get her, don’t they!” George shouted, looking at Draco and sending him a death glare,
“Non one’s goin’ in!” Hagrid shouts, causing everyone to face him, “it’s too dangerous, the merpeople are extremely vicious this time o’ year,”
“Hagrid, she’s been down there for too long, she could drown!” George says as if it’s obvious that he has to save you,
“She can’t drown” Hermione says.
“What do you mean she can’t drown?! She’s been underwater for about two minutes! She can’t—“ George begins, but is cut off by Hermione,
“Draco’s right,” she says, also glaring at Draco angrily.
The whole class looks at Hermione puzzled,
“She is a mermaid”.
The class gasps and whispers to one another. Fred and George both exchange looks, before looking over the edge of the dock into the dark waters. Just then, there’s a loud splash and you’re flung out of the water, landing on the peer. Your body lands with a loud thud, but you don’t move.
“Errybody get back!” Hagrid shouts, causing everyone to step back and form a circle around you, watching with wide eyes. George doesn’t move. He can’t help but stare at you, scared of what might happen.
“What’s happened?” a kid from the back of the crowd shouts,
“She’s been attacked by the other merpeople,” Hagrid confirms.
George drops to his knees next to you and checks to see if you’re okay. Now that you were out of the water, the blood had started to show on your skin from all the cuts on your body.
“She’s starting to dry!” Hermione says, observing your tail slowly starting to split in two.
Instinctively, George wraps his shirt around you, ensuring that you’re mostly covered, when suddenly you wake up with a series of coughing and gasps.
The class sighs with relief with a round of “thank God”s being said among everyone.
You open your eyes to see that you’re in George’s arms, him looking down at you,
“George…” you begin to say, when Draco butts in from the front of the crowd,
“Lookie here, Fishy’s finally woken up!” the Slytherin’s all laugh loudly, calling you ‘Fishy’ as they do so, the name apparently catching on quickly.
“You fucking bastard!” you scream, making to stand up, when your legs give way and you’re back in George’s arms. Your legs hadn’t quite gone back to normal, so you couldn’t stand up yet, and Draco and his gang of shits all laugh even harder.
“Class dismissed, get back in the castle the lot o’ yer!” Hagrid bellows, looking directly at Draco, causing him to show a look of fear for a brief moment, “don’t you think for a moment that Professor Dumbledore won’ be hearin’ ‘bout this!”
The class all leave, except for you and the twins.
“Y/n are you alright?” George asks sincerely, cupping your cheek with his hand, looking at all the small cuts on your face.
You nod, not daring say anything in case you begin to cry, not from the pain, but from embarrassment. You had kept this secret from all your life, and now everyone’s found out that you’re some sort of half-breed freak.
George must’ve been able to see the sadness on your face, simply saying ‘come on’ before putting his arm around your back and his other behind your knees, standing up with you in his arms bridal-style, “let’s get you inside so you don’t freeze to death”.
You give him a small nod before he starts to walk up to the castle, Fred in front of the two of you leading the way.
Walking through the castle, Fred is quick to hex anyone who dares laugh or even utter the word “Fishy”, and before too long you were in the common room.
George takes you up to his dorm, since he can’t take you into yours. He sets you down on his bed gently and with a smile, before retrieving some warm clothes from his trunk. You thank him before he turns around and leaves the room to give you some privacy.
You look around the boys’ dormitory, taking in your surroundings. The room was a lot different from yours, with clothes all over the floor. Next to George’s bed and supposedly Fred’s were a small pile of cardboard boxes with an orange W, assumingly for their joke shop.
Before long, George comes back in, cautiously peering around the door to make sure you were dressed.
“How are you feeling now?” He asks, walking towards you and setting himself next to you on the bed,
“Mortified… Warmer, but just as mortified,” you say with a small nervous laugh, before you remember everything that had happen and start to feel sad again.
George scoots closer and wraps an arm around you, pulling you into his chest, rubbing your back as you cry into him.
What felt like hours passes and you’ve finally stopped crying.
“You don’t need to be upset, Y/n,” George says soothingly. You look up at him, wanting him to try and explain why on earth you shouldn’t be upset,
“It’s who you are, you shouldn’t have to try and hide that,” he says, “also, being able to turn into a mermaid is pretty cool,” he says with a cheeky grin, causing you to laugh.
“Thank you, George,” you say, staring into his eyes, inching your face a little closer,
“No need to thank me,” he says quietly as he, too, leans closer to you, and your faces are barely inches away from each other. You thought that this was finally the moment you had been waiting for, when suddenly the door bangs open, causing the two of you to jump and snap your heads towards Fred,
“How’s everything— oh… oh!” he says, seeing how close the two of you were, and you both instinctively shuffle back away from each other awkwardly.
“Oh no no no Y/n don’t worry, he likes you too,” Fred says cheekily, causing both you and George’s eyes to widen, “He’s liked you since you first came to Hogwarts, I remember he was worried you’d fancy Ron more than him, but as it turns out—“
“Fred that’s enough,” George warns, his cheeks probably just as red as yours,
“Ah right, right, I’m ruining the mood,” Fred nods, “Anyway, Georgie fancies Y/n, I’ve been told that Y/n fancies Georgie, so have fun kids,” Fred says with a wink before shutting the door behind him.
George brings his hand to his forehead looking embarrassed, when it dawns on you that the only reason Fred even came in was to embarrass his brother.
You place your hand on George’s jaw and nudge his head to face you, and you lean in and connect your lips with him, him instantly kissing you back.
“SHE’S KISSED HIM!” Fred calls from outside the door, apparently he hadn’t closed it fully, and now the entire common room was cheering, causing both you and Fred to smile into the kiss.
“Watch out Y/n, Georgie doesn’t have much experience with girls so he’s probably a really wet kisser, so try not to sprout a tail on us!” Fred calls out, causing everyone (including yourself) to laugh.
George suddenly breaks away from the kiss abruptly, shouts “fuck off” as loud as he can, before bringing his face to yours and starts kissing you just as you were before.
Requested by: Many, many, many anons! Made by: PJ A/N: This is directly following part 6 so please read that before you read this to jog your memory. Also there is no Sherlock in this part. :D hope you guys enjoy! Warnings: Descriptive gore, swearing? Hints of murder Words: 1100-ish Wow! I wrote a lot
- You’re going to do an intro lesson so be sure to talk about cool stuff near where you live. Keep it simple things like local food, festivals, sports, and things like that go a long way with students. I brought a picture of pulled pork sandwiches one time and I blew my 5th graders minds.
- Kids love Bingo. LOVE it! From 1st grade up to year two in JHS. Think of fun ways that you can change up lessons with Bingo games and ways that you can keep the games different so they don’t get burnt out on it.
- Some thing grade school kids like more than Bingo? Stamps give for every Bingo they win. I bought a Pikachu stamp at the Pokemon Center in Tokyo for just this reason and the kids loved it! I think the best was from the 2nd graders when they all started jumping up and down shouting “Pika Pi!”
- You will be asked to sign everything! You’ll feel like a freaking rock star by all the notebooks, rulers, textbooks, ect that you’ll be asked to sign. They love it even more if you can draw a dumb little face along with your signature.
- For every shitty kid there are three that want to learn. That’s not to say that these kids will stand up and tell the little bastard causing all the trouble to shut up and sit down, but they will come up to you out side of class and tell you that they like what you’re teaching. If you’re lucky they’ll even give you little gifts.
- Don’t go over their heads but don’t be condescending. Remember that Spanish teacher you had in grade school that would only talk to you in Spanish even if what they were talking about wasn’t even covered in your text book? Remember how when you finally got them to talk to you in English they made it seem like it was your fault for not getting the lesson? Yeah, don’t fucking be like that.
- Full color print outs do wonders. They are just so much more engaging and can really help to get attention.
- Before you take off for Japan take a lot of pictures of things around you. Where you live is not like Japan, unless you live in China or Korea in which case you may be surprised how much the kids know about you’re home land. Kids want to see where you come from and what you and your friends do for fun. Show them the parks you go to or the Christmas tree your family sets up every year. They want to know all the stuff that the hollywood movies miss.
- Please don’t think that moving to Japan is going to be like an Anime or Drama. These are real people with normal lives, how much is your life like a sitcom or action movie? If your love for Japanese media is your biggest motivation for going to teach in Japan, don’t go. That would be like a middle eastern person moving to New York just because they were a big Seinfeld fan. Feel more than free to visit Japan and see it for yourself, but if you’re coming to Japan to teach you will be very busy and working a real job with real responsibility.
Oh? “frogs may suck but who else will do frogs better than frogs?” ME, idiot *i squat down and hop towards you like one of those deplorable slimy green assholes, with frog-like reflexes i snap my head towards a bug lazily flying through the air and quickly throw my head towards it with chompers wide open and tongue stuck out i catch and ea the bug* *i stand back up* How do you like that, you bog-dwelling bastards?!
Mark had been given a couple of tickets and backstage passes
to a concert by a friend as a birthday gift.
He didn’t want to waste his friend’s money or seem ungrateful, but he
couldn’t find anyone else to go with him, so he simply went alone.
Looking at the set up and the band members themselves, Mark
wasn’t very enthusiastic. The lead
singer was pretty hot with tangled, fluffy hair that was even more untamable
than his own. He stood on his own as ‘the
hot band member’ with the scruff and the small sweet smile, but there was also
the drummer who had green hair, an adorable face, and a smile so bright it
slightly blinded Mark.
He had no idea what was going on at first considering the
lead singers outfit –was that a cape?
Was there a ninja on the keyboard?
What???- but as soon as the giant fluff ball with the microphone opened
his mouth and began to sing, Mark’s heart slammed into his ribs and rattled
around in his chest.
Oh no. Oh no. He couldn’t be falling in love with their
music! But he was.
As the first song came to a close, he elbowed his way to the
front near the stage and hoped up and down on the balls of his feet, eagerly
awaiting the next song to come on.
While he was bouncing, he caught the eyes of the drummer,
who grinned and winked at him before turning back to his set.
Mark could feel himself go scarlet and jerked his face back
to the lead singer who was staring at him.
There was a possibility that he would pass out from too much blood
flooding to his face.
He continued to enjoy the rest of the concert, letting giant
poofball’s velvet voice flow through his veins and the beat of the green haired
man’s drums pound with his heart.
After the show, he was led backstage by a smiling security
guard with a blonde streak in his otherwise brown hair. He was ushered into a small room with a
couple of chairs, a couch, a TV, and band equipment spilled everywhere.
The lead singer smiled as Mark and the guard entered the
room. “Thanks Arin! That’s it for tonight,
you can go home, man. Tell Suzy I said
The guard grinned and waved “No problem, dude. I’ll see you later.”
The guard turned on his heel and left, leaving Mark with a
green haired drummer who was carefully cleaning up the room, the lead singer
who was sprawled out on the couch eating candy, and the ninja who had his mask
off and was texting someone.
The lead singer patted the couch beside him. “Come have a
seat! Tell us about yourself! Who are you?”
Before Mark could respond, the ninja slipped in front of
him. “Unfortunately, I have to head home.
There is a baby ninja who is in need of training, but it’s nice to meet
you!” He stuck his hand out between them, “I’m Brian. Ninja Brian on stage.”
Mark nodded, “It’s nice to meet you too!”
With that, Brian smiled and waved at the two left in the
room before leaving.
Mark, feeling out of place and a bit singled out with only
two band members in front of him, plopped down on the couch beside the singer
who immediately stuck his hand out as well. “My name’s Dan. Danny.
Danny Sexbang on stage. Just call
The shy Mark gave in return was small and shy, “Hi. Nice to meet you! My name is Mark.”
Dan nodded and relaxed back, “So are you a fan?”
Mark blinked hard for a moment, realizing that it was
actually a pretty normal question, but he had no idea how to respond to it.
“I… I um. Well,
There was a crash from the other side of the room where the
green haired man had fallen into a heap of instrument cases.
Mark looked over and went to get up and help the man, but
Dan held him back. “Nah, he’s got
this. He’s always clumsy.”
He watched as the man sprang to his feet in the next second
and glanced over at Mark, blushing an adorable shade of pink. “I’m fine!” He quickly reassured, holding his
Mark recognized a bit of an accent, but he couldn’t exactly
place it. The man hadn’t spoken enough.
The guy abandoned the wreckage behind him and strolled over
to the small seating area, taking a seat in a chair across from Mark.
“I’m Sean! Or Jack, whatever
you want to call me is fine!”
Irish. The band had a
hot lead singer and a sexy Irish drummer.
Mark had found either Heaven or Hell.
“So, how long have you been a fan?” Sean asked, tilting his
head and smiling gently.
“Well… I’m not a fan.”
The two gave him confused and slightly offended looks.
“Wait. That didn’t
come out right. I’m a fan now, but I
originally came to the show because a friend of mine gave me the tickets and
passes for my birthday and I didn’t want to be a dick and give them back or not
use them and no one wanted to come with me so I just braved this alone just
because and I really love you guys now, but I’m just getting into you.” It all came out in a rushed mush, but the two
seemed to understand as they smiled.
Dan leaned closer “You’re into us, huh? Oh my God you’re adorable. Isn’t he adorable, Jack?”
“Oh yeah. As adorable
as they come.”
Mark was blushing again.
Jack stretched and yawned. “Well, I’ve never been one to
stall, so how about a coffee date?”
Mark was turning purple and his face was so warm he could probably fry an egg on it.
“He says no.” Dan interjected, “because he’s going on one
Mark was going to pass out.
“He did not say that.”
“Yes he did. You just
can’t hear anything until there is yelling.”
“Bullshit. At least I’m not actually losing my hearing, old man.”
The two crossed their arms and glared at each other.
Mark, after a few moments of silence, spoke up. “Why can’t I go with both of you?”
The two looked at each other before Jack nodded and Dan
Dan winked at Mark before standing up “I guess I’ll put up
with the loud bastard for a date with you.”
Mark’s blush was never going to leave.
Jack rolled his eyes and held a hand out to Mark, “C’mon. Let’s go get Starbucks and hear all about our
new number one fan.”
Walking toward the shop between the two, Mark realized he
could get used to the idea of being sandwiched between the two.