Season 20

Season 19

Fort Collins

>> SOUTH PARK 20x6

“Garrison is hiding in Colorado as the Presidential election day nears. In two weeks, the citizens vote for the new president. Meanwhile, Colorado city is hacked by someone.“

>> 20x5 - Douche and a Danish 
>> 20x4 - Wieners Out 
>> 20x3 - The Damned
>> 20x2 - Skank Hunt
>> 20x1 -  Member Berries


STAN: Hey guys.. it’s uh, been a few days but I figured I should let you know what’s up now.
STAN: Kyle got attacked by Trent and barely got away, so … he’s been in the hospital for a day and a half. They’re gonna let him go home today but he’s gonna need a lot of rest. 
STAN: Cartman’s, uh.. gone missing… all we found was his jacket on the floor. So the police are going to try and find him. 
STAN: I don’t know where this blog really goes from here but – … I don’t know. Just wanted to let you guys know what was up. Shoot me an ask if you guys feel like it.

Ask The Main Four A Question!


Been sick and bed ridden all day so I’ve been doodling.

I’m dying for South Park to do a Stranger Things parody.

So the characters are

Wendy: Eleven
Stan: Mike
Kenny: Will
Kyle: Dustin
Token: Lucas
Mrs. (Carol?) McCormick: Joyce
Officer Barbrady: Chief Jim Hopper
Shelly: Nancy
Kevin McCormick: Jonathan

I didn’t really know what to do with Cartman. Meh he can be the guy who gets his arm broken by Wendy.

Well anyways here’s to a new episode!

Scene fctm 13

The next seven days were the begging of everything. Stan and Tweek became close, closer than anyone. Their relationship was different than what Stan had with Craig. The friendship with Craig was based on years of trust, and though they were close it was a silent bond.  Stan did the talking and Craig remained his silent self. But that was alright because a person didn’t always need to talk. A simple smile and how they would want to be around you, and listen expressed more emotion than words sometimes. They didn’t talk all the time and Craig didn’t always have something to say, but it was alright because he was good company, just having someone there to listen to him.

Tweek on the other hand was different. Stan and even Stan’s family noticed it. When Tweek was around Stan he opened up. He could talk about himself and he felt like he was no longer invisible. There were still things he couldn’t talk about such as how he really felt about himself. Or his options on certain things because Stan thought what he had to say sounded stupid, and so he didn’t say anything. Why risk the chance in screwing up a good thing. On one of the nights that Tweek came over for dinner Stan started talking about various random thoughts that invaded his mind. “You know Daniel Craig his thing is he has an accent so he’s used to talking with his mouth in a weird shape. So that’s why he has pouty lips like a woman”. “I think I know were technology’s heading, we’ll be able to text each other sandwiches and shit”.

That night at the dining room table there was laughter, and Nate joked about If Tweek ever wanted Stan to stop there was a button on the nape of Stan’s neck he could press.  After Stan’s mother had stuffed Tweek so full of baklava he thought he was going to burst Nate borrowed Tweek. He took him to the front porch. At first he thought maybe he said something wrong. Maybe he offended Stan’s mom’s cooking by not eating enough. But Stan’s stepdad hugged him. And in his sociology professors voice he said. “Thank you you’re a very kind young man. I don’t know what you did to Stan but it’s working. Stan’s always been quite but now that you’ve come into his life he’s come out of his shell”.

“It’s no problem sir Tweek said squeezing his hands and picking at his uneven nails. He’s my friend”.

Nate told Tweek he had tried to talk to him to get know Stan, but he wouldn’t tell him anything. He told Tweek to be patient with him that he was hurting on the inside, but he didn’t know why. Stan never spoke about himself.

Who knows what it could have been perhaps it was coincidence or maybe the threads of density that entwined us all, but whatever the reason Tweek wasn’t the only one who lost sleep that night. Stan did to, and he worried. He worried about Tweek.

There was nothing special about that day just another gloomy afternoon. The sky was overcast, and Stan turned his head only to bear witness to the dull light and the heavy heaps of snow falling from those grey clouds. He didn’t know what it was about today he usually paid attention but today Stan’s head was in the clouds so to speak. It was an odd feeling because he liked listing to Mr. De Vries. His lectures were never boring he made American history entertaining, with his deep voice and wild gestures. A true actor. And today’s lesson was actually one that interested him, the battle of Antietam the bloodiest so called one day battle in American history. But Stan wasn’t the only one who was phasing out. Henrietta Biggles she was loud and obnoxious. There she was pursing her tongue playing with her gum popping and making clicking sounds with it. It made Stan’s skin crawl. And in the desk beside her was Henrietta’s friend Pete Moran. On Stan’s first day of school even before the travesty that was high school, even before he wanted to bother Craig Henrietta was there. And she wouldn’t leave him alone.  It was better than eating by himself every day so Stan accepted her, and her lackey hanging around him everyday

“Ya cute” she immediately said and snatched Stan up. Stan of course not wanting any of that, he had to remain invisible. (Remember never do anything that causes oneself to stand out.) He wanted no part of it. But she was persistent. “Where ya been are you tryin to ignore us”?

“No Henrietta can you leave me alone”.

“What’s your problem Stan. Me and Pettie  just wanna help. You never talk about ya self.

“Nothing to say. I talk just not to you. I’m completed okay”.

“You complicated don’t make me laugh. Who do ya talk to, Craig?  Ya not complicated you in love. Don’t think we don’t notice the way you look at that Wendy girl. Ya gotta learn to lighten up. And another thing you can forget about Wendy she’s bad news”. Pete remained silent but nodded and swung his hair from his eyes.    

Henrietta didn’t know what she was talking about. She was always getting in Stan’s business that know-it-all she wasn’t his mom. She was wrong about Wendy. So what if the only person he talked to was the tall awkward guy.  And another thing why did she even care if he liked Wendy, Wendy wasn’t bad. She wasn’t. Okay sure she partied. And well she did have a reputation for having a lot of sex, and there was that rumor she did her fair share of drugs. But that was it, they were rumors nameless rumors, no basis to them. Okay even if they weren’t Craig did a lot of pot, and Tweek he was always on something. But that didn’t make them bad people.

Finally the bell rung and Mr. De Vries dismissed the class with his classic“Respect the research” line. Stan was up dashing for his teacher’s desk. No one had yet begun to make their way to the door.

“what’s up bud”  Mr. De Vries said. He was out of breath but Stan blurted it out. “Do you know any facts about leukemia”?  

That there was his undoing.

“Leukemia cancer of the blood and or bone marrow”.

“But how quickly do people die from it”? Stan was grating his teeth together, and his leg looked like it was having a seizure.

“Well Stan I think it’s pretty treatable now a days. What’s going on bud?”

Stan shifted around and answered. “Well you know Tweek Tweak has leukemia”.

There it was the undoing that was mentioned a second ago. Why couldn’t Stan keep his big mouth shut?

“Oh my god Tweek has what”!

And oh no Henrietta couldn’t have just said it calmly she screamed it. Or maybe that was her voice Stan couldn’t quite tell. Anyways she shouted into the back of Stan’s ear. Where did she come from? Last time he checked most of the students were out the door when the leukemia part of the conversation came up, it was the last period  of the day so that was no surprise. But it was just his luck, what luck Stan didn’t have any.

“I am so sorry I’m so sorry I’m so sorry”!  Stan paced back and forth his hands tangled in his hair. Tweek only stared at him from his spot on his bed.

“It’s okay”.  

“It’s not okay I’m unavoidably stupid now everyone’s gonna know that you’re dying and fuck”!      

“I’m not dying I’m sick. I’m not mad. Okay I guess I’m a little mad, alright Jesus I’m a bit irritated but everyone was eventually going to find out. Errr I just hate people knowing anything about me”.

“I’m the same way”.  

And it stared like that Stan Marsh pacing back and forth in the band geeks room. Tweek was lying on his stomach now, kicking his legs back and forth. They both stared into each other’s eyes. Let me guess in your typical touching romantic story this is the part when the two characters fall madly for each other and Start sucking face. Well sorry to disappoint you this isn’t a touching romantic  story. At least not to Stan, he did feel something for Tweek but he didn’t know what it was. He was a catholic boy and catholic boys didn’t ask the boy next door out. Catholic boys hid their feelings. For crying out loud his moms church lady friends still came over and asked him “when are you going to get a girlfriend”. It didn’t matter that Stan hadn’t stepped foot in a Church since he was nine but his mother liked to invite her Christian friends. There was something incontrovertible weird about church or religion in general. You could be walking down the street minding your own business when one of those types would come up to you. “Would you to know the glorious message of Jesus”. Who did that? Went up to a person they didn’t even know. It was creepy. You could be at school and one of those church kids would come at you. “Hey you wanna come to temple with us we have Wii and they’ll be snacks”. That’s what the Mormon kids called church (there were a lot of them in South Park), and one of the church ladies would always bring one of those creepy kids. It was uncomfortable to say the least. The sad part was that Stan’s mom weren’t friends with these women she just liked to gossip. All this was beside the point even if Stan was that way he didn’t have the courage, and what unrealistic recounting of Stan’s life do you take this for. People don’t just fall in love in a week. All Stan knew was there was something wrong with him, the way he stared a little too much at Tweek. And sometimes he would be a little too close to Tweek.

“I know but all this death talk”.

“That’s it if you say I’m dying one more time I’m going to hit you”! Tweek screamed and in seconds he was across the room and holding Stan up by the front of his shirt. The air in his lungs was tight as his shirt was cutting off the circulation. Tweek was actually going to hit him.

Stan coughed. “I’m sorry, he laughed. You wanna get out of here”.

“That’s a little random man but just don’t do that again or I will hit you. Don’t smile I’m warning you”. Tweek tried to look as mad as he could but he broke into that snorty laughter of his when he saw Stan’s goofy face.

There was that awkwardness again. They were walking not really taking note of were they were, because Stan was like that he didn’t have a specific place where he went he just liked to go. Explore what there was to explore. Not much else, it beat staying inside all day doing nothing.  What had it all come to. One moment they talking about future sandwich texting and Daniel Craig lips, and now they were here walking downtown counting street lights.  Awww why did he have to be so awkward he must’ve been walking too close to Tweek.

“You’re kinda close man”.


“Stop that I kinda like it”.

“You smell nice”. You smell nice why did he say that, creepy. This was why nobody beside the weird kids wanted to hang around him.

“kinda weird but okay thanks”??

They both forgot about it because they were talking really talking. It was always dreary in South Park the sun never seemed to part through those impassable clouds ,but today it didn’t matter. For this one moment Stan could forget. Stan started he started talking, talking and talking he talked so much he didn’t know how much more Tweek could take. Craig tried to be nice about it but he couldn’t take too much interaction with people, that included Stan. Stan could sometimes tell he was giving his fried a headache. He couldn’t quite “understand” the look but he thought Tweek was smiling.

“Anyways you can talk now” Stan said.

“Talk about what, cancer”?

“Only if you want to”.

Stan had his hands behind his head looking up into the grey shy. He was weaving around Tweek and Tweek was laughing a little bit, but for the most part he didn’t mind. Stan listened.

“The hardest part about all this is my mom man. If I go she has no one. My dad died when I was little. He left mom with a lot of debt. Then we moved her so she has no one. No family , at least none who wants anything to do with us.  It’s just her in that big empty house it scares me you know”?

“She never dated”?

“No man she was too scared they wouldn’t treat me right”.  

“Well don’t cry”.

Stan I’m not crying”.

“Oh well you can cry if you need to”.

“I do remember one thing about my dad. I was three and he’d take me on walks around the neighborhood I guess like were doing now. We’d count birds”.


“Crows actually. It was just something to do together it was like one crow, two crow a game you know”.

“Wow that’s really lame”. Stan laughed.

“Asshole. Tweek smiled and punched Stan in the shoulder.

“No seriously I relate I never knew my dad. He kinda ditched me after you know my sister died”.

Tweek didn’t say anything for a while and then it was the “I’m sorry line”. He was allowed to pity him apparently.

“NO it’s cool I don’t really remember Shelly and I wish he was dead. Craig he has Dad issues to”.

“Stan you really shouldn’t” …

And that’s all he could get out because they were there.  Stan opened the door and the little brass bell above the glass door chimed. And they were heading up the stairs of The Fox and the Eye. On the way up Stan said hi to Jack, and Tweek oddly waved at the fifty year old in the fedora. As they went up the stairs there was a silence. All Tweek could hear was the creak of old wood under each of their footsteps. Tweek felt uneasy at the heavy silence because Stan was always saying something but now there was nothing. Stan only had that conflicted look on his face.

“So what group am I in” Tweek said to break the tension. Talk, talk. But nothing only silence. Then Stan broke from his absent stare.


“My group yesterday you said you mapped out the entire high school by group… so what group am I in?”

“Okay um well boring Jewish music geeks subgroup 2-A”.

“Gah you’re an asshole”! Tweek frowned at Stan.

“Please Tweek at least appreciate how honest I was right there”.

Tweek rolled his eyes at least he was honest, Stan did always say what was on his mind without censoring himself.  But he didn’t care he shoved Stan’s shoulder and sighed.

“Well then Mr. cool what group are you in”.

They had made it to the top of the stairs. And inside the small shop there was a long hallway with shelves after shelves of comic books, manga, records, and antiques. It was a hoarders dream, but among this junk Stan felt the most at home. Stan and Craig would come here as kids and even now they would occasionally come even with both their lives becoming more preoccupied. They still came to read comics and play cards. Stan’s eyes searched the room and he was already seeing certain components he could use for his props. The both of them rounded the corner and above them hung a cardboard sign, written in black sharpie witch read “Classic films”.  Stan did his best to avoid Tweek’s question by looking at the DVD cases of old films. (Many of them bootleg) He stammered.

“Well I don’t really belong to any group. I just you know wouldn’t belong to any group that doesn’t suck. You know I’m just so awkward and ehh I have a face like one those ugly dogs. Uh what are they called. Stan snapped his fingers. Pugs that’s it”.

“Are you serious” Tweek frowned and rolled his eyes again. Stan still looked down busying himself in the shelves of old films. 

“No I don’t think that. I know that”. And just like that Stan rounded the aisle leaving Tweek standing in the middle of the hall alone. Tweek face palmed. Then he heard his voice.  Stan rested his head on the cold sleek wood. On the opposite side of the aisle. Stan spoke.

“You know dude for a kid like me in high school the best case scenario is just survive you know”?

Tweek listened to the muffled voice for what seemed like a long moment then he moaned and slapped his arms against his thighs and followed Stan to where he was flipping through some records.  Stan still avoided his friends gaze just flipping though some Metallica, he made no eye contact.

“So yeah dude, survive, survive without hideously embarrassing yourself forever or creating any mortal enemies just…

“Survive until collage” Tweek said.

“What! No collage is going to be a million times worse”.

“What man! Tweek snorted as he picked up an issue of Daredevil and adjusted the red wine Trilby that was sliding off his head. 

“Yeah uh with high school at least it’s over at three and its with kids I know, but with collage it’s gonna be nonstop strangers some of them even live in your room. Literally you can never relax. Tweek dude I can see myself dying of a heart attack two weeks in.  I might just not apply”.

Tweek couldn’t believe what he just heard from a funny smart guy who for a matter of fact did not look like a pug. Even though Tweek thought pugs were cute but was neither here nor there.  At least Stan had a chance to do something, but he, Tweek would never have that opportunity.

“Of all the stupid things you’ve ever told me that’s the dumbest one”.

Stan shrugged. “It’s probably not even top five. I mean look, high school, collage were forced to spend what two thirds of our lives in randomly selected groups of people we don’t even like who we don’t even have nothing in common with. It’s a nightmare! Everyone who says otherwise is lying.

“Well coagulations you’re spending time with the boring Jewish boy tomorrow at lunch”.

Stan walked off ignoring him.

“Stan where you going”!

Stan stormed off dropping   the Metallica back in the pile. He was almost to the door, but behind him he could recognize the screeches of the wood on each step he took.  But this time it wasn’t just him. Tweek was behind him, and he put his hand on Stan’s shoulder.

“What’s wrong”.

“I just gotta go I can’t be here. I might say something I’ll regret. Look I…  have to go”.

 Jack was staring at the both of them but Tweek didn’t care. Stan pushed past Tweek and the small brass bell clattered again when he barged through into the cold winter air. Tweek followed he wanted an answer. When he saw him on the street he was about to pursue when it caught his eye. It was a group of seniors like them, Jordan Reid, Douglas Greer, and Seth Logan. Some ducks were waddling from the bushes that grew near the bus station. The station and the park were all but connected only separated by half a block. In the background you could see the small city mall. The ducks must have wandered from the small man made pond that was in the center of the park witch everyone simply called Stark’s pond. The station was grimy covered with tags of all sorts. At any hour of any day of the week these kids were there smoking. Weed mostly. But mostly they were active at night. Tweek knew Douglas, Seth, and Jordan for that very reason he would sometimes deal to them when he was short on cash.

“Hey leave them alone Tweek yelled”! But they didn’t hear him or they pretended not to, or most likely they didn’t care.  Jordan and his friends were hucking rocks at the ducks and they grinned with a look of delight watching the birds struggle.  One of the pieces of gravel hit the mallard’s wing so it could not escape. The group said something about “hunting ten points for the meat”. There was something about seeing an animal cry out in pain that shattered all judgement in Tweek. He ran into the street right for the tormentors of the helpless bird.  What came next could not have been predicted he didn’t see it, he didn’t hear the rumble of thick tires or see the flash of chrome.

Without thinking Stan he tackled Tweek on to the black asphalt. This was the moment that caused him to care. For once he cared. The black truck crashed into Stan, and the last thing he remembered was his vision blurring with a cloud of mad bleach blonde hair.