stalking prevention

It’s not a joke. It’s not romantic. It’s not ok. Stop stalking. It’s a crime.

(Visit stalkingawarenessmonth.org for more info.)

Honestly, too many people make a joke out of the idea of stalking, and for people that have actually dealt with it that can be devastating. Knowing that a crime that has potentially taken over & changed their lives forever is just a punchline to a joke is both frustrating and belittling.

Wanna know why there is special irony to VAWA probably expiring tonight for people that have used said act to defend themselves from stalkers?

Stalking Awareness Month 2013 begins tomorrow. 

Maybe every post I make for Stalking Awareness Month will include a way that I had to use VAWA when state & local laws were pretty much useless or jurisdictions didn’t want to play nice with one another. Yeah, I may do that. 

Top Ten Mistakes
  1. Not listening to your intuition. You need to keep your internal radar tuned to pick up signals that something might be wrong.
  2. Letting someone down easy, instead of saying a definitive NO if you’re not interested in a relationship. Trying to be nice can lead a potentially obsessive suitor to hear what he or she wants instead of the message that you’re not interested
  3. Ignoring the early warning signs that annoying attention might escalate into dangerous harassment and pursuit.
  4. Responding to a stalker in any way, shape, or form. That means not acceding to your stalkers demands even once he or she has introduced threats.
  5. Trying to reason or bargain with a stalker. Stalking is like a long rape. Find out how your natural reactions almost automatically put you at a disadvantage, and what you can do about it.
  6. Seeking a restraining or protective order. All too often, this one act propels stalkers to act violently.
  7. Expecting police to solve your problem and make it go away. Even the LAPD’s Threat Management Unit says that victims have to take 100 percent responsibility for their dealing with the situation.
  8. Taking inadequate privacy and safety precautions.
  9. Neglecting to enlist the support of family, friends, neighbors, coworkers, therapists and other victims. It may be tough to admit that you’re being stalked, but it’s not your fault. Learn how to gather the people who will constitute your first line of defense.
  10. Ignoring their emotional needs during and after a stalking. Do you know how to get the support you need?
In case none of you noticed, this blog started being active in the fall of 2010.

I’d been told that if I didn’t want to be stalked, or cyberstalked, I shouldn’t stay on the internet. By police officers, and in court even…and after months of hiding, I got pissed off. This blog is partially here as a giant ‘fuck you’ to the person I had been hiding from. Because honestly, I got tired of having to hide. 

Stalking & cyberstalking fucks up your life in ways you can’t even imagine. And I’m here partially because the one thing that person wanted was for me to be silent & to have to 'hide’ & be cut off from everyone and everything. Some days I wonder wtf I was thinking, but 2 years later I’m still here, & I refuse to spend the rest of my life hiding.

When I grow up, I wanna be a badass like Carla Franklin. She’s a survivor that dealt with an entire system fighting against her, & she still kept going. Carla Franklin, you’re a BAMF.