There’s a breed of rabbit called Flemish Giant and they’re HUGE. Thought it would be fun to try it in the Zootopia style, especially since you only see tiny types in the film. They would be as big or bigger than Nick most likely.
Used some gesture studies as pose reference (the model was using suspended handles), and I’m pretty happy with how it turned out.
There is an appalling dearth of books about the bisexual parenting experience, which is galling on its own but more appalling because bisexual people are those in the LGBTQ group most likely to have children. Primahood: Magneta by Tyler Cohen, a short collection of her comics and art about the experience of parenting, is a welcome addition.
Cohen is a gender nonconforming feminist bisexual and her partner is black biracial. Together they parent Nera, an exuberant, feminine, and loveable biracial daughter in San Francisco. Its clear that Cohen loves both her daughter and partner, and this memoir is grounded in brief stories about that love.
I think many bisexual feminist parents will relate to the endless anxiety over Barbie, Disney Princesses, and Monster High dolls. Because Cohen is fairly butch herself, these struggles take on extra weight as she worries, second guesses, and tries to meet her hyper-femme daughter on her own terms. The result is an enjoyable (if too brief) collection of parental musings and moments that often spark more questions than answers.
The vignettes in this short book pack a quick punch and actually leave me hoping for a longer work on this topic by the same author, perhaps after her daughter is grown.
So… from what I know of the Naruto series Naruto never actually gets a rank higher than genin. He was too busy with all the shenanigans I assume. So, either he goes straight from genin to Hokage or he has to go up the ranks fast as he can while Kakashi is Hokage.
If he had to rank up that would mean Konoha would have to send him to a chuunin exam. And this is after Naruto basically takes down a god. Can you imagine the chuunin hopefuls and village officials when he walks onto the field?
The following is a guest essay/review/ramble about the Mad Max series by my fiancé Ryan Stevenson, a teacher/writer/filmmaker with a lot of thoughts about the movies that he mostly keeps to himself. He free-wrote his thoughts today after our viewing of Fury Road, and I thought they turned out to be substantial enough to warrant a place on the internet somewhere, so, here they are.
“You have a right to perform your prescribed duty, but you are not entitled to the
fruits of action. Never consider yourself the cause of the results of your activities, and
never be attached to not doing your duty.”
Fury Road plays your sympathetic nervous system like a slide guitar. Fury Road makes
every fiber of your body scream GO! for exactly two hours on the dot. Fury Road is
somehow both wild, indulgent excess, where everything goes obscenely beyond what is
necessary, and a razor-sharp, drum-tight, whistle-clean cinematic machine without an
ounce of fat on its bones.
Needless to say I loved it. A few students and friends urged me to go see it, and asked
what I thought of it, and Iʼm still processing it, so Iʼm writing it all out here. I havenʼt read
any reviews yet, and a lot of this is probably stuff other people have already said better
than I will. I donʼt know where to start so Iʼll just list some stray observations at first. Itʼs
going to ramble a bit because Iʼve got limited time (and have been reading a lot of David
Foster Wallace, which is probably rubbing off on me).
As much as I love unexpected eye-of-the-storm scenes—sudden, surreal slacking of
tension for a moment of sanctuary and introspection and mystical sights—I love that this
movie has precisely zero of those scenes. It has moments of quiet, but these intensify
rather than assuage the anguish and urgency. The image of Immortan Joeʼs horrid Car-mada shimmering through the heatwaves on the horizon, while Max and Furiosa stare
each other down in a grunting, grudging standoff, provides a textbook example of how
to take tense stillness and ratchet it up into nightmarish paralysis. Again, you could feel
a hundred people straining against plush seats and silently screaming GO! JUST GO!
Tom Hardy is arguably the first to put the “Mad” in Max. Mel Gibson can do arguably the
most effective crazy-eye of any leading man in the history of cinema. But until now,
Mad Max has been an ironic nickname—no matter how crazy his eye or his hairstyle,
Gibsonʼs Max seems almost frustrated to keep finding himself one of the sanest men in
a world gone utterly nuts. The opening lines of Fury Road hit this nail right on the head
for us, leaving the rest of the film for Max to go full-Macbeth-mad, half-blinded by the
squeak and gibber of sprites showing what was, is, and shalt be.
(I wonder if Iʼm the only one wishing Hardy had been cast as the tortured king instead of
Michael Fassbender. Then again, Iʼm guilty of wishing every leading role today would go
to Tom Hardy.)
All that being said, thereʼs also a part of me that wishes that aging, wild-eyed, socially-
disgraced Mel Gibson had been brought back to play Max again in this film—his
prodigious talent and prodigious baggage would have both made this new, tortured Max
even more fascinating, and his transformation even more powerful.
Ridley Scott et al. have already authored the handbook on how to adjust the shutter for
expressionistic effect, not just illusory deceit, in action scenes. Undercranking/fast
motion has, like shutter angle, been used for years to subtly and imperceptibly add
speed and spice to combat. But as far as I can tell, itʼs always been surreptitious “movie
magic” (boy do I hate that expression), an under-the-table, wink-wink, I-wonʼt-tell-if-you-wonʼt transaction with the viewer, a pact to suspend disbelief and give the filmmakers a
break. Old cinema hands appreciate the sleight of hand and feel superior about it, wide-eyed rubes donʼt even know itʼs happening.
Fury Road is the first film Iʼve seen, outside of Chaplinesque comedy, where fast motion
is used without apology and without disguise. Because the whole apparatus of
cinematic motion is an illusion anyway, right? Time is always being manipulated in an
action movie, in order to throw our metabolism into high gear for a few hours, to give us
a rush. Usually this is pulled off through quick cutting (which there are some stunning
examples of here). Miller has just taken this to the logical conclusion, and rather than
trimming out unnecessary shots, heʼs just giving us a fraction of the frames weʼre used
to seeing. Because thatʼs what we want, right? We want things to go fast? Here you go.
Things go fast now. Itʼs brilliant. Itʼs metacinematic. And it works like gangbusters. Your
nervous system doesnʼt care that itʼs unrealistic, even if your thinking brain notices the
So much nonsense is spread around film schools and critical circles about “taking
people out of the moment,” “ruining the illusion,” and so on by calling attention to the
camera or the cutting or the film style. Fury Road shows just how little that matters. Itʼs
an art film, really, because like all modernist art it demands, at all times, that you think
about it as a movie, as an illusion, as the handiwork of a team of humans behind the
curtain. Your brain knows that the whole time, and it doesnʼt matter one bit to your body.
Youʼre still all-in and amped-up.
The nearest recent analogy here is Joe Wrightʼs Anna Karenina, which pulls off the
same trick of intellectual meta-artistic alienation and simultaneous total emotional
Maybe this is going to be one of the great productive problems of 21st
century art and letters, actually. How do we learn the lessons of modernism and
postmodernism, and stop hiding our tools and authorship, while letting go of some of the
wry irony and cynicism of the late 20th century and using art sincerely again, for
emotional and moral catharsis, even while acknowledging the artifice of the medium?
The score! Itʼs like George Crumb on crack, Philip Glass on methamphetamine, Terry
Riley with tachycardia. The minimalist repetitions are less like an entrancing mantra and
more like tweaking out, scratching a compulsive itch. Itʼs more intense than any score
Iʼve heard lately, but it doesnʼt overpower, interrupt, announce itself like Hans Zimmerʼs
score to, say, Interstellar (or anything really). Itʼs just barely keeping up with the frenetic
image track. Anything less would be left in the dust by the rip-roaring editing and the
titanic framings. It wails and dips, shrieks and shivers, moans and cackles, whispers
compulsively and shouts profanely, judders around like a rusty wind-up toy or a daddy
longlegs on a bad trip. Iʼm writing this while I listen to it, which is probably why my prose
is all over the place.
At the end of the movie, Lauren turned to me and said something to the extent of “that
was amazing” (or something, but it was more eloquent than that, clearly my poor
memory of this exchange has something to do with the fight-or-flight state we were both
in). And I said something like, “yeah, it was certainly pretty good” (or something, but it
was no more eloquent than that).
Iʼm trying to figure out why I said that. Obviously my expectations were already really
high, and I think itʼs because Fury Road didnʼt completely blow my mind and shatter my
sense of cinemaʼs potential. And I think there are two reasons for that.
First, I think itʼs because I had seen the previous three Mad Max movies this week and
Fury Road, to me, seems like no more or less than the natural destination for that
uneven, weird and wonderful journey, the culmination of Dr. Millerʼs decades of brilliant,
twisted, often-abominable, frequently doomed-to-failure experimentation in film form and
Fury Road is not an exception or a reinvention or an improvement to the original Mad
Max movies, so much as a Mad Max movie where all the parts actually work, and
thereʼs enough money to pay for all the gear and manpower it needs. Where the
Marlovian over-reaching hubris of George Miller, deliberately denied its demands for
decades, instantly gets everything it always wanted and knew it deserved.
Students and colleagues know that I have a self-imposed limitation for myself, sort of
like one of Lars von Trierʼs Rules of Chastity. I never want my resources to exceed my
skills, or my technology to exceed my talent. I want to make sure I earn, with years of
frustrated labor, every bit of upgraded gear I buy. I want to struggle against, and even
hate, the limits of the equipment I have, so that Iʼm forced to be creative with it, use it for
unwarrantied, off-label applications, and generally make the most of it, suck every
ounce of life out of it, and drive it into the ground before I graduate to the next thing. Iʼve found that this makes me a poorer technician, and often poorer crew worker, because
Iʼm never up to date, but a better artist because it stretches me.
After watching this series, Iʼm tempted to call this the George Miller Path to Artistic
Excellence. Every one of the original Mad Max movies has the deck stacked against it,
either by circumstance or money or the constraints of the medium or by knowingly-
unreasonable directorial ambition. That is, if the deck wasnʼt stacked against Miller from
the get-go, it seems like he restacked it until it was. Every time, I think he looked at his
gear, his budget, his crew, and his own talent and expertise, and said to himself, not
“what can I do with this,” but “what can I just barely NOT quite manage to do with this,”
and then tried to do that. Thatʼs how I work, too.
I think the second reason I wasnʼt totally overwhelmed is because I saw Snowpiercer
last year, which already elevated my expectations of what an action movie could do,
artistically and imaginatively and narratively and rhythmically and neurochemically and
socio-politico-morally. Fury Road pulls off the same stunt a second time, and helps
establish that the first experiment wasnʼt a fluke, that the results are valid because
theyʼre repeatable. The greater reach and success of Fury Road (I think? Seems like itʼs
more well-known, anyway) means that no one can claim they didnʼt get the memo on
the new standards for action filmmaking. It sets the bar a whole lot higher for everyone.
I dearly hope this provides the competition, check, and corrective the superhero industry
so badly needs. I hope it lights a fire under Marvel, in particular—makes it get off its butt
and hustle to keep up.
Watching The Avengers: Age of Ultron this week was actually the perfect palate
cleanser. Hereʼs the best that mainstream action-adventure movies, as we know them,
can offer in 2015. Now hereʼs Fury Road.
Lauren rightly observed that Fury Road makes The Avengers look like a TV show with a
generous effects budget. Except a few sort of obvious hey-all-the-protagonists-are-in-the-same-frame-right-now moments, thereʼs not a lot of powerful iconography generated
within the the eighteen-hours-or-whatever running time of Age of Ultron. In Fury Road,
thereʼs not a frame wasted on anything that isnʼt a perfectly-composed, never-before-seen image that takes full advantage of the complete toolkit of cinema, both historic and
modern, practical and intellectual.
If thereʼs anything that separates movies from TV these days, I think thatʼs probably it.
The extent of the deliberate cinematic craftsmanship of each moment thatʼs expected of
a film—in addition to writing and storytelling, which a TV show can do as well or better.
(And it probably means that a lot of TV shows are really more like cinema—The Knick
being my favorite example—and a WHOLE lot of movies, indies especially, are really
more like TV episodes. Itʼs probably a flawed definition in the first place, but those are
my feelings, in this year of my life at least.)
And not to keep bashing The Avengers, but the theme of last nightʼs conversation was
how come we donʼt care what happens to Iron Man really, but are apoplectic with fear
for the fate of Furiosa and four or five girls weʼve only known for fifteen minutes. I think
this is because getting to know and love a character over time offers, in the end, a
weaker jolt than the more purely mechanical effect of clearly establishing real danger
and real stakes in the script.
It’s because the Marvel movies are basically just cartoons, and because we know that even
supporting characters probably wonʼt meet with difficult or unhygienic deaths, and
because we know that the main characters are going to be fine because theyʼre starring
in movies we already know the names of, to be released five or ten years from now.
This led Lauren and me into a digression about Game of Thrones killing its lead
characters without warning, etc., which I think actually helps establish a more ethical,
decentralized, community-minded view of the world for the viewer, etc.
Iʼd say the same thing about Fury Road. Max might not die, but he might, and everyone
else is absolutely fair game. And above all, fates that are physically and existentially
much worse than death are very plausibly advertised to, and visited upon, lots of
characters in this movie and in this series. We REALLY donʼt want those things to
happen, and our brains are straining pretty hard to will those things not to happen.
And thatʼs not just a thrill ride for us to enjoy, but a pretty damning moral exercise,
because itʼs impossible not to step out of this movie and realize that to a greater or
lesser degree, the exaggerated torments of the post-apocalyptic world are actually
happening, on micro and macro scales, in our own neighborhoods. I donʼt know if we
really have global supervillains like Loki or Hydra or Ultron to worry about in our
immediate daily lives (some of my libertarian friends will likely disagree with me there).
But in our own immediate local communities, we do have dangerous patriarchal
fallacies, and sexual abuses on a wide scale, and toxic narratives about war and
combat and the glories of “Valhalla” and manning up, and itʼs all surprisingly
recognizable even in a fabulous, allegorical format. Itʼs all stuff that, like Max, we slowly
realize weʼre standing right in the middle of. The moral spotlight is on us, weʼre not
anonymous, weʼre not bystanders who are just passing through. And we actually can,
and therefore must, do something about this stuff, about the behavior of the very people
we know immediately around us.
The particular moral trumpet-call for each viewer is probably different, but the thing that
spoke to me most directly was the character Nuxʼs storyline. As someone who works
with a lot of adolescent guys, caught between notions of boyhood and manhood (and to
make matters potentially more confusing, growing up in a world teetering slowly and
very unevenly from patriarchy towards feminism as the prevailing ideology), Nux struck
me as a very accurate portrait. A passionate, impressionable, sincere young guy who
takes the more habitual, or sensible, or involuntary conservatism of his elders, and
whips it up into partisan extremism, dark anger, and shows of machismo, feeling that itʼs
his ticket to the adultsʼ table. To see Nux fired up, broken down, and relearning what
heroism can and should look like in a freer, healthier world is inspiring stuff. Itʼs particularly reassuring for an educator to see that guys like this can—and do, and will—
grow up and turn out OK.
The tremendous amount of sympathy and dignity Fury Road offers Nux, while still
revealing the immaturity and insufficiency of his view of the world, sets it apart from
being just a hateful feminist screed against manhood qua manhood (I think fewer of
these exist than a lot of people fear, but whatever), and makes me take the movie much
more seriously as a work striving for total empathy (which is what
I’d say drama is ultimately for).
On the subjects of dark anger and shows of machismo, though: I havenʼt read it yet, but
I understand that thereʼs an article out there written by a Menʼs Rights Activist-type (or
possibly Christian Complementarian Godly-masculinity type) who is mightily cheesed off about Fury Road. Specifically, that Mad Max himself is routinely playing second fiddle to
Imperator Furiosa, and is practically a guest-star in his own movie, and spends most of
his time getting put in unpleasant binds, literally and figuratively, rather than kicking a lot
Iʼm not going to dignify this with a lot of comment about why female characters deserve
as much agency in films as men do, because everyone knows I think that and everyone
I know thinks that and we should hold that truth to be self-evident by now.
But I do think itʼs a point worth addressing, not only from a feminist-standpoint, but from
a Mad-Max-standpoint—which I think any purported fan of Mad Max, feminist or not,
should be able to get behind.
Iʼll backtrack a little to build up to this argument. This week I saw all three original Mad
Max films for the first time. In spite of what you may hear about Fury Road standing
alone, I do strongly recommend seeing the first three first (if youʼre over 18 and/or have
a particularly strong stomach for gore and grotesquerie).
The movies are just nuts,
theyʼre all over the place, theyʼre a mess, and I feel a very tender affection for them. The
first one barely makes narrative sense at all and is better enjoyed as if it were a Godard
film or something. The second, The Road Warrior, (aka “the one people have actually
seen,” I guess) is self-evidently strong on its own merits without me needing to point
them out, but is also deeply weird and unsettling and misshapen in subtle ways. (The preponderance of leather chaps and dearth of pants, for one. Lauren calls this installment Ass Max.) The
third, Beyond Thunderdome, didnʼt even start out as a Mad Max story on the page, Max
just got grandfathered in (which, I think, is significant).
Theyʼre all three pretty
weird. Itʼs hard to know who theyʼre meant for—kids? adults? The third in particular gets
infected with Spielberg-Goonies-1980s childish whimsy in its action scenes, but forgets
to clean up the gore and existential body-horror that would make such a change
remotely appropriate for young audiences.
In the end, theyʼre, objectively, maybe not very good, and certainly wildly inconsistent,
both intra- and inter-movie. But they remind me of the many other crazy, probably not
objectively-always-great, undeniably-visionary series I love, series that also have no consistency, no
polish or professionalism, and too many wild aspirations for artistic greatness.
The Mad Max movies are certainly heirs of Sergio Leoneʼs Dollars Trilogy, evident in their wandering,
taciturn protagonist, stunning desert cinematography, etc. (and Beyond Thunderdome
cribs from Lawrence of Arabiaʼs visuals a lot, on that note). But also in the way the cast
and characters get recycled, transmogrified, redeployed out of context. Bruce Spence is
an aircraft pilot in the third Mad Max movie who both seems like he sort of is but then
definitely isnʼt the same pilot from the second movie, like Lee Van Cleef playing the
pretty menacing ultimately-good-guy Mortimer in For a Few Dollars More but then
playing the fascinating but-wholly-bad Angel Eyes in The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.
Gian Maria Volonté does the same thing with two wholly unrelated main characters in
the first two Dollars movies.
And in the way that Clint Eastwoodʼs Man with No Name is
actually a man with three names (Joe, Manco, Blondie), one for each film, and may or
may not be the same continuous personality from movie to movie. In a way, the three
movies make more sense if heʼs just a repeated concept of a character who gets into
three similar but ultimately non-continuous adventures in three parallel universes or
something (which are evidently populated by various Lee Van Cleefs and Gian Maria
I like to think that Mad Max is might be a similar stock type, played three times by Mel
Gibson but maybe not entirely the same character each time, getting into various
scrapes in three separate instantiations of what post-apocalyptic Australia might look
like. And as if to cement this interpretation for Fury Road, Miller follows Leone in
recasting the primary antagonist from the first movie, Hugh Keays-Byrne, as a totally
different primary antagonist in the fourth film.
The Mad Max movies also resemble the Alien series, in that each movie works hard to
undermine the world built by the director of the last movie and replace it with something
that the current director finds more applicable to the problems of our time. Except that
Mad Max is all directed by the same guy who just keeps changing his mind and gets
more money to work with each time. (Another similarity with the Alien series.) And like
the Alien movies, Miller seems to struggle each time to figure out who his movie is for,
what genre it belongs in (if any), what contemporary trends it should imitate (theme
songs? saxophones? slapstick? kiddie stuff? Tina Turner?), whether it should be darkly
funny (like Alien 4) or or somberly meditative (Alien 3) or horrific (1) or straight-up
action-packed (2), and so on and so forth.
As many of my students and colleagues know, I love any movie thatʼs a big awful mess,
where the seams and patches are showing, because that prompts me to think about the
process of creation, about ambition, about intention and execution, about vision, about
art frankly. Mad Max movies offer these meditations in spades, and on top of that are
exciting and visually breathtaking and above all, a little like many other things, but ultimately like nothing else. Which is another way for an artwork to earn its place in the
canon, for me—if nothing else is quite like it.
But perhaps the thing I love most about Mad Max is that “a Mad Max movie” means not
so much that Mad Max is the protagonist, or that heʼs even on screen very much, but
that it takes place in a certain world (or rather, one instantiation of a certain type of
world). And Mad Max himself is, increasingly as the series goes on, merely one citizen
of that world, a world that he keeps discovering is bigger than he imagined.
And it becomes clear, slowly, that Maxʼs place in that world is both more important and
less important than he might think. I think this makes a great statement about cinema—
about narrative, about the whole notion of protagonists in the first place—and about
what individual human action is and isnʼt worth in the real world.
In the first movie, Mad Max is barely there (much less Mad, a description he only gets a
minute from the end credits) for probably the first forty minutes, a fact that most
summaries of the film conveniently forget when they recount the fifteen-minute quest for
revenge that provides the most memorable (because most nearly intelligible)
straightforward plot in the film. In the second film, The Road Warrior, Max is a jaded
self-serving survivalist who happens to wander into a conflict between townsfolk and
bandits, and gradually becomes enmeshed in it, until itʼs obvious that neither
circumstance nor conscience will allow him to stand idly by. Itʼs very much a samurai
story or gunslinger story or Han Solo story. Importantly, though, even after he does his
(significant but not irreplaceable) part in saving the townsfolk, he cannot be part of their
world, and disappears into the sunset like so many of his archetypal forbearers. In the
end, we even realize that it was never his story—the opening voiceover belongs to an
unexpected character, and we were really telling the story of this character and his
people, not Max himself, the whole time.
In the third film, heʼs hailed as a possible savior by two very different communities—one
ruthlessly mercantile and industrial, one primitive and tribal—but is reluctant to take on
either messianic mantle, neither of which turn out to be a good fit anyway. In the end,
his actions manage to help steer both communities towards safety and stability, but sort
of by accident, and the real peace comes from the actions of two complex, visionary
women (Tina Turner and that tribal girl who provides the end narration) who each pull
civilization up by its bootstraps and reinvent history itself.
Both The Road Warrior and Beyond Thunderdome are classical epics, really, each
concerned with the founding and fate of a nation, led by an extraordinary, visionary
hero. But Max is never this hero, nor is it his nation. And he plays an even less active role in
Beyond Thunderdome than in The Road Warrior, left more and more to nurse his own
psychological wounds, and marvel at the ingenuity and fortitude of mankind, which
continues to survive and thrive produce new heroes in spite of his action or
(Meta-cinematically, behind the scenes, Beyond Thunderdome was a story Miller
wanted to tell, about the tribe of feral youngsters reinaugurating the cycle of human
history, and Mad Max himself was, as much as anything, a convenient and financially-viable pretext to
tell that story. He literally stumbles into the tribeʼs story and stumbles out of it again. He
realizes that nothing thatʼs happening is ultimately for, or about, him, as much as it
might appear to be at first. And, appropriately, the film itself was never really meant to
be about him anyway.)
On-screen, over the course of three films, Max comes to realize simultaneously that no
man is an island (in spite of his efforts to withdraw from civilization entirely, the moral
demands of the world come find him and force him to give a damn about other people if
he wants to survive) while simultaneously coming to the uncomfortable realization that
he is not special or indispensable.
This is why, for me, Fury Road is the perfect culmination of Maxʼs arc (again, allowing
for the fact that this particular postapocalyptic Australia-or-wherever might not be
precisely the same as before, and this Max neither comes before nor after Gibsonʼs but
might exist parallel to him. That is, Fury Road must come after Beyond Thunderdome in
the myth cycle, but may not have any specific relationship to it on an ordered, linear
timeline. Itʼs hard to precisely date, or even order, any installment. (The Dollars trilogy
has the same fascinating problems.)
By Fury Road, Max is even more psychologically scarred, even more withdrawn and
focused on survival at any cost, and even less the savior everyone expects. He spent
much of Beyond Thunderdome trapped, bound, hanging from chains, held at gunpoint,
and otherwise powerless and incapacitated, and Fury Road takes his sufferings and
indignities to new levels.
Max has always been a character that things happen to, rather than a character who
makes things happen. Heʼs perhaps the most consistently passive action hero I can
think of. The fact that he plays second fiddle to Charlize Theronʼs Furiosa is not so much some
sinister feminist coup as a natural continuation of this tendency.
As in The Road Warrior and Beyond Thunderdome, thereʼs not much Max wants in Fury
Road besides his freedom, his relative physical safety, and a vehicle fast enough to help
him maintain these. But as in the earlier movies, the road to independence and safety
merges unavoidably with the path towards altruism and duty, and Max finds himself
traveling on both for a few miles before realizing that community is its own kind of
freedom, and duty is its own reward. When the time comes, he neglects to take the exit
ramp to solitary safety, and throws in his lot with the community for a little while.
This means, though, that Max is always arriving a little late to the party. His arrival
definitely changes things, and when he throws his resources into the pool, it suddenly makes possible certain risky schemes the community was cooking up before his arrival.
“Hereʼs a guy who could help us drive the gasoline rig and break Humungusʼ siege.”
“Hereʼs a guy who could defeat Blaster in the Thunderdome and undermine the pig-
plant strike.” “Hereʼs a guy who could lead us to Tomorrow-Morrow land and back to
civilization.” “Hereʼs a guy who could co-pilot the war rig while I deal with the bikers so
we can get the wives to the Green Place. Max might be the man for the job.” (In at least
half of these situations, Max is actually not quite the right man after all.)
In any case, the communities are far from powerless before Max arrives. He doesnʼt
take any time to enlighten their savagery or perform feats they were too weak or naive
to accomplish. He just pitches in, usually after much cajoling and bargaining. And when
the community succeeds, itʼs not about Max. Itʼs their victory, because it was their
suffering, their plan, their bravery, and their struggle and sacrifice that pulled it off.
True, Max did what was asked of him (usually a little less)—initially for reward, but
ultimately because he acknowledged some inner sense of fellowship, empathy,
But this admission of common humanity is not a supererogatory heroic feat deserving of
accolades and parades. Itʼs whatʼs asked of everyone equally. Itʼs the debt everyone
owes everyone else from the moment weʼre born. Youʼre not special for doing it. Youʼre
just doing your duty.
Thatʼs what the series is about, if you ask me.
By Fury Road, Max knows this drill. He doesnʼt expect to have to go through it again
(privately, he really would rather be left alone with his own demons). But heʼs game. And
it would be pretty senseless, tactically, for him to barge in and pretend he knows better
than the people who designed the operation in the first place. (I guess I should go
ahead and say “mansplain” here.)
I guess this is all to say I donʼt know what alternative the mens-rights or complementarian types would propose which wouldnʼt be, from a military
standpoint, pretty dumb.
I think these guys are upset that it seems like itʼs almost Furiosaʼs movie, even though
itʼs called Mad Max. They feel like they didnʼt get what it said on the package label, and
didnʼt get what they paid for. What they paid for, they think, was a movie in which a man
named Max is mad, and drives a dangerous car.
The fact is, though, it seems like itʼs almost Furiosaʼs movie because it IS Furiosaʼs
movie. The same way Mad Max was Jim Gooseʼs movie as much as anything, and The
Road Warrior was the Kidʼs origin story, and Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome is a sort
of positive spin on Lord of the Flies written by George Miller that just happens to borrow
the name Mad Max, and had to borrow Max himself along with it.
In other words, no Mad Max movie is ultimately about Mad Max. “Mad Max” is just what we call movies about duty and community set in a post-apocalyptic Australian wasteland
with skinheads driving souped-up murder cars.
With all this in mind, it occurs to me that Fury Road could be the closest thing we have
to a handbook for how men should relate to the feminist movement (or white people to
racial equality movements, and so on). Itʼs your fight, but remember that itʼs their fight.
Itʼs on you, but itʼs not for you. Their victory will be good for you, too, in the end, but you
donʼt do it because itʼs good for you. Do it because itʼs good for them. And do it because
itʼs just how things should be.
Along the same lines, Fury Road is the perfect antidote to the bad aftertaste left by
white savior fantasies like Avatar.
And really, the whole series is great for this stuff—again, The Road Warrior and Beyond
Thunderdome do exactly the same thing. To my mind, the only shortsightedness of the
feminist hoopla surrounding Fury Road is that the Mad Max series has pretty much
always had a great track record with this sort of thing, and Fury Road both is and isnʼt
something special to celebrate.
It maybe just took Fury Road to make us realize that allyship—which I guess Iʼd define,
in this case, as consenting to the dawning moral realization that you should, and must,
subject your own needs and privileges and rights to fight for something that will not
chiefly benefit you, and for which moreover you deserve no special credit for helping to
bring about—is what Mad Max has always been about, to greater and greater extents
as the series goes on.
(As I write this, I have just gotten into a short discussion with world-class barista and
notoriously hard-to-please cinephile Lucas Alvarez, who gives Fury Road a 6 out of 10,
partly because he doesnʼt feel the Max of Fury Road fills the shoes left by the Mel
Gibson Max of the Road Warrior. I just told him what Iʼm trying to tell you, and he sees
my point. But I guess this means the decentralization of Max as protagonist strikes other
viewers as strange and unduly passive, even if theyʼre not menʼs-rights or
complementarian types. Lucas, a feminist, also doesnʼt see why Fury Road gets so much press for
being a feminist work when thereʼs a lot more feminist work out there and Fury Road
could certainly be a lot more explicitly feminist than it is. My point is mostly that if a
movie thatʼs pretty much just straight action scenes for can still manage to speak to
concerns about patriarchal society and give its female characters agency and
independence, without breaking a sweat, then that certainly sets the bar a lot higher for
movies that have the luxury of long dialogue scenes and whatnot. I think whatʼs most
feminist about Fury Road is that itʼs pretty ordinary and commonsensical in its treatment
of male and female characters. If that looks hyperfeminist, that says a lot about the
regressiveness of the films being released alongside it, and about us as consumers,
who have been blithely accepting such films for so long. It sure makes Marvelʼs whole “hey we have Black Widow weʼve got lady concerns in our movies too” gambit look
pretty paltry in comparison.)
(I guess Iʼd say that Fury Road is a feminist film insofar as itʼs the sort of story that
would be more or less standard mainstream entertainment if we lived in a more equal
society. The fact that we think itʼs really weird and wild and original in its treatment of
gender just shows how unequal our society still is.)
This is a side point about female action heros and such, another thing Fury Road
handles remarkably well. Nowadays at least, it tends to read pretty well when female
characters have to fight a bunch of male antagonists (in films like Kill Bill, for example).
We understand it as both a narrative necessity (bad guys prevent heroine from getting
what she wants or needs, threaten her physical safety, she deals with them accordingly)
and as a productive thought-provoking metaphor for the state of gender relations at
large (in which bad guys stand in for forces of oppression and heroine stands in for the
struggles of all women to be themselves, achieve personal goals, etc.)
But what to do when male characters must fight women? Doesnʼt this get tangled up
with issues of violence against women, domestic violence, and so on? Isnʼt it
irresponsible to put such a thing on screen?
Itʼs a problem thatʼs often invoked, in good faith, by feminists, and in bad faith by
patriarchal male thinkers. (I call it bad faith because itʼs not so much that they care
about the question itself, but because they chiefly want to find as many reasons as
possible why we shouldnʼt have female action heros, or female soldiers in real-world
combat, or women taking martial arts lessons, or whatever, and they think this is one of
The most explicit unpacking of this conundrum Iʼve seen lately was in the climax of 22
Jump Street, although they didnʼt offer many progressive solutions to it, and ended up
being paralyzed by the charactersʼ regressive attitudes. And there are other films that have male heroes engaged in combat with female villains, or female characters engaged in combat with male
characters for other reasons (I feel like Black Widow in the Marvel films fights some
superhero at some point). But every time Iʼve seen it, the film has made some effort to
call attention to the fact that the character is a girl, and that that means violence against
her is in someway a transgression of proper boundaries (even if itʼs a necessary one
from a plot standpoint).
In all cases, the film goes way out of its way to show that the hero is conflicted about
having to punch a lady, because sheʼs fragile and it would be unchivalrous, and so on.
The film also goes way out of its way to show, and tell, that the woman is a woman, in
case somehow you missed that part. Sheʼll have some wisecrack about being a girl,
sheʼll break a nail and get upset, sheʼll be wearing some hyperfeminine (usually highly
sexualized) outfit, or sheʼll just make a lot of yelps and whimpers at key moments to make the audience worry that the evil damsel is in too much distress. Or the whole
business is played for comedy, which is usually worse in the end.
Iʼm trying to think of other examples, but none come to mind: Maxʼs fistfight with Furiosa
might be the ONLY time Iʼve ever seen a male protagonist fight a female combatant on
screen without hearing the filmmakers tee-heeing about it from behind the camera.
Without the female character in some way being framed as a victim and the male one
as a transgressor. Without the female character appearing waiflike or fragile or histrionic
or hormonal, or alternatively, brutish and horrifying and somehow abominable because
sheʼs too much like a man or something. Without the filmmakers implying that the male
characterʼs very manhood is on the line if he either wins too unchivalrously, or loses too
But this is a lot of patriarchal crap, so Miller just ignores it and barges through it. By
staging and shooting this fight straight, impartially, and above all, well, Miller manages
to neither apologize for nor sidestep the issue. He reveals it to be fundamentally a non-issue. Max fights Furiosa because he wants the truck, and because she canʼt let him
take it. So they beat the tar out of each other. Thereʼs no chivalry, thereʼs no quarter,
thereʼs no quipping, thereʼs no hand-wringing, thereʼs no irony, thereʼs no apology,
thereʼs no allegory, thereʼs no sexual tension. And it makes us wonder why any of us felt
we needed any of that in the first place.
(Once again, though, the groundwork for this was laid pretty well in Beyond
Thunderdome, when Max decides he needs to knock out the young female leader of the
tribe of children. Thereʼs a brief twinge of uncertainty on Maxʼs face, as though heʼs just
realized sheʼs a girl, and is embarrassed to even be in such a situation where heʼd have
to punch a girl, but then he sort of shrugs himself out of it, as if to say, well, I was
already about to knock this person out, why does it make any difference to me that
On the subject of sexual tension, this is another thing I totally love about the Mad Max
movies: except for his wife in the first film, Max never has a love interest. The movies
never even play up a will-they-or-wonʼt-they tension between Max and a female
This is not to say that we as the viewers donʼt automatically think that any
time we see a reasonably attractive female character on screen, Max is likely to notice
her and weʼre likely to have some flirty banter coming up. But he never does, and it
never goes anywhere. And we quickly realize that there were never any cues for a
romantic liaison anywhere onscreen other than “thereʼs a pretty lady,” and weʼre so
conditioned to expect any and all pretty ladies to get matched up with our male
protagonists that we assume this one is headed straight for Maxʼs bedroom one way or
another. We make up our romantic suspense out of whole cloth, and the joke is
completely on us if weʼre expecting such a thing to happen.
I donʼt think this is just my male gaze talking, since while we were watching the original
trilogy, Lauren was just as strongly expecting Max to hook up with one of the female
characters whenever they showed one. “Oh hey, this must be the babe,” sheʼd say,
predicting the next step in the 80s-action formula.
Afterward she astutely summed up the sexual dynamics of the complete series as “Mad
Max: No Time to Bang.” The most explicit visual articulation of this comes in The Road
Warrior, when a soldier of the besieging scavenger army and his lady friend are caught
au naturel and in flagrante when their makeshift tent gets blown away by a passing
vehicle. But thatʼs pretty much the reality for everyone in the Mad Max universe, and
rightly so: this is not a story where characters have a lot of leisure to check out and chat
up an attractive fellow survivalist while theyʼre barreling down the blacktop and
bombarded by exploding spears thrown by mohawked hooligans.
The reason Max and Furiosa arenʼt flirting isnʼt that theyʼre reminding themselves to be
polite and respect professional boundaries. Itʼs because theyʼre cognizant of the
buzzsaw-wielding berserkers on the roof. Max isnʼt being gentlemanly, heʼs just not
stupid enough to wonder whether a woman driving a tanker truck at a hundred miles an
hour might be doing so for his attention or arousal. And vice versa for Furiosa. And
when you think about it, very rarely should there be time for such a thing in our own
workplaces, either, even though so many men decide to take time out of their (and their
female coworkersʼ) busy schedules for it. We would all do well to remember that frankly,
there is just no time to bang.
I just think it was cool how we devolved from gasoline as the rare, universally-desired
McGuffin commodity of The Road Warrior, to methane and pig poop and, by extension,
pig bodies as the commodities of Beyond Thunderdome, to human bodies as the
commodity of Fury Road. Fluids like milk, blood, and so on, treated with the same
dispassionate utilitarianism as we treat gasoline today. Dante would have gotten a huge
kick out of the opening scenes where Max undergoes the ultimate contrapasso-style
infernal punishment, paying for his old lust for gasoline by becoming the “gas tank” for a
demonic fiend. And his redemptive decision to undergo the same indignity to save
another human soul at the end. We could theologize all day about this one.
Based on the ideas of passivity and duty and sacrifice-without-reward above, a section
could be written called The Universal Donor, considering Maxʼs blood type as an
allegory for his character arc, but thatʼs actually the extent of my observation just now.
From The Road Warrior on, but especially after Fury Road, I have to feel that
Jodorowskyʼs sprawling microbudget ultra-violent surrealist-religio-humanist epic El
Topo was an artistic touchstone for George Miller, and that makes me happy.
Particularly the heroʼs descent from active to passive, selfish to self-sacrificing, and
(most sacrificially of all) from protagonist to supporting character.
As I learned from reading the A.V. Club, the other spiritual sibling of Fury Road
circulating in todayʼs zeitgeist is, get this, The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. And theyʼre
right. Females are strong as HELL. Thereʼs even a mashup on YouTube.
Hanging in my office, is a clone of the rifle I carried on two combat tours(Iraq and Liberia). It’s a reminder of where I came from, where I stand today, where I am going and why I am going there.
While serving in 2nd Force Reconnaissance in the late 1990’s and early 2000’s, my unit started seeing radical advances in small arms and light weaponry via the SOPMOD program. Suddenly, carbines could quickly be fine tuned for specific missions by mounting night vision systems, laser aiming devices, weapon lights and red dot optics to the 1913 Picatinny Rail Systems on the upper receiver and handguard.
These technologies opened up whole new tactics, techniques and procedures that could be employed to prosecute our mission of specialized reconnaissance, ambush and direct action raids.
Despite the additional capabilities the SOPMOD program delivered, opinions were sharply divided on the program. Some saw these tools as a burden, adding a lot of “crap” that would only increase the amount of weight our Marines carried on mission for little tangible benefit. A maxed out M4 could run up to 14 pounds, but we didn’t need every component for every mission.
TWO POUNDS OF METAL
The SOPMOD accessory package that my platoon ended up running included almost two pounds of weight in mounting interfaces alone. When I challenged this, I got a typical Marine Corps answer, “Because that’s what you are issued, now quit asking irrelevant questions Too Speed.” (Too Speed was my call sign)
I couldn’t accept that answer. It was an institutional answer that repeated a party line and the lives of my teammates were, and will always be, more important than not rocking the boat.
After some trial and error, the first mod I made was to ditch the Surefire M951 Weapon Light and replace it with a Surefire 6P in a shotgun tube light mount that I scored at a sporting goods shop near base. After swapping the 6P tail cap for the M951 remote switch assembly, I then ran the tape switch on the left side of the 203 so activating the light wouldn’t impact my weapons manipulation.
Getting a weapon light in tight with a rail and shaving weight off the interface was something I would spend the next 10 years fiddling with before I had a eureka moment and Haley Strategic Partners released the Thorntail Adaptive Series of light mounts, currently in use by military, security contractors and law enforcement worldwide.
This time was a defining moment for me, as it was when I first started tweaking and eventually building original components for my platoon based on the unique requirements of our missions. These experiences of shaving weight, improving ergonomics and finding a balance between capability and utility, would drive the development of so many of the components I have commercialized in my post-service career.
THE RIFLE I TOOK TO WAR
Colt M4 with 14.5” Barrel Colt M203 40 mm Grenade Launcher Knights Armament RAS Handguard PEQ-2 IR Aiming Laser Surefire Classic 6P with a custom “Simply Dynamic” mount Boone & Packer Redi-Mag Simply Dynamic Multi-Mission Sling (commercialized by Magpul as the MS3)
Prior to the invasion of Iraq, Force was trained up for both Green Side(reconnaissance) and Black Side(direct action) missions, with the assumption we would be tasked to one or the other. However, when we entered Iraq, our platoon found ourselves doing a combination of both at the same time. Force Recon is a special operations unit that prepares the battlespace and gathers intelligence for the MAGTF(Marine Air Ground Task Force) and then prosecutes specialized targets as directed.
With a few days under our belts, the entire platoon started striping gear and mags, looking for that perfect balance of speed, utility and capability. If you can’t move, you can’t be effective. Most of the Marines went from 13 rifle magazines to between five or six. I ended up with four on my vest and two taped together on my carbine with riggers tape and offset with a stick.
Force Recon ran low signature loads outs, often working out of vehicles(mil and civilian), and running a double mag on the carbine meant I had 60 rounds at the ready. When I saw the “Redi-Mag” in a copy of Shotgun News, I ordered it and had it delivered to me overseas. Despite the weight, the Redi-Mag was more versatile than the old riggers tape and stick, and cut my carbine reloads to sub one second.
I no longer run a Redi-Mag because there are so many excellent belt mounted magazine pouches available today, that I can reload at almost the exact speed as from a Redi-Mag. That said, you will sometimes find them on my house and car guns, as I do not expect to be kitting up if someone breaks into my house or I find myself engaged with an active shooter around vehicles in the streets.
The M203 is a vital component to small and agile units, like Force, who operate in small units in semi and non-permissive settings. It becomes even more essential in worst case scenarios where the mission is compromised or the unit is outright ambushed by an enemy force.
We prepared for scenarios where 203s could be employed for a hasty breach, in instances where a short count/stack was not possible. Also, as a posturing tool to achieve immediate fire superiority in the face of an ambush. Finally, we practiced employing them to suppress fortified enemy positions in buildings by putting accurate fire through windows or open doors.
In fact, in the first gunfight I was involved in during OIF, I put this into practice, pumping 40mm HEDP(High Explosive Dual Purpose) rounds through windows of enemy positions 50 meters out. This fire created instant hate and discontent on target, where crew served weapons and M4s did not offer as much of an immediate positive effect. We had never trained to fire the M203 at such a close distance for safety reasons, but I held at the top of the window frame with my Aimpoint and the round went straight where I wanted it.
The MEUSOC 1911 has an almost legendary reputation among 1911 and handgun enthusiasts. One of the most high performance handguns ever built, the MEUSOC 1911 we ran was hand built by Marine Armorers from the Precision Weapons Section at MCBQ (Marine Corps Base Quantico). They fine tuned our 1911’s, hand selecting barrels, link pins, sear springs, ejectors, firing pin stops, mainspring housings and mainsprings. Slides were custom built by Springfield Armory with beavertail safeties and recoil spring guides by Ed Brown, Novak rear sights, Wilson Combat extractors + mag release buttons, and King’s Gun Works ambi thumb safeties.
Force ran the 1911 specifically in direct action raid or ambush missions. It was not a primary and would only come into play if our carbines had run dry or malfunctioned. We carried 10 round magazines with 230 Grain 45 ACP. More than enough to deal with any immediate situation and then refocus on the carbine to get it back into action.
On DRP(Deep Reconnaissance Patrol) Missions, I personally chose my Berretta M92, which was our only 9mm alternative at the time. The flatter trajectory at range of the 9mm and the larger magazine meant more bullets to deal with more problems in the event my carbine was down or permanently disabled.
When I later worked as a security contractor on Ambassador Bremmer’s detail with Blackwater, we would run Glock 17s. But in the end, the mission drives the gear. But more importantly, the mission drives the man.
THE MISSION DRIVES THE MAN
When I first started making gear, I was doing it to help keep my guys alive. When I started my first company, Simply Dynamic Tactical, I wasn’t in it to get rich. I was doing it to pass on what I learned in combat and to provide tools that would stack the deck in the favor of the men and women who were going overseas or out on our streets as warfighters, law enforcement or private citizens.
Surviving war is an awesome responsibility. For those who have been in combat, you never forget the brothers you lost. When you are one of those who made it back, you carry a weight that is difficult to put into words. I was lucky to have known such great men in my life. I was lucky to have a second family closer than any people I will ever know.
As I approach the 5th year in business with Haley Strategic Partners, we have tried to bring this industry together and to stay focused on that one mission. Enable brave men and women to complete their missions as safely as possible. Through training, through gear and through mindset.
hear the thundering hoof beats and shrieking neigh just as the sun is setting.
Gan Ceann is riding tonight. You know he is riding for you.
had been too arrogant, too overconfident to dare remove your golden token this
evening, for gold is the only thing that a Dullahan dreads. But she was such a
pretty girl, and the time you spent with her certainly felt magical.
will be the death of you.
You were certain that Elsewhere University would be a place to seek true
protection. A clever deal, a well timed act of kindness, a gamble won… the
Seelie always protect the ones they favor. You came to seek Their favor.
Security that only They can provide against Others like themselves.
one has ever said why, but in your family, once a generation spanning at least
the past three centuries, the Dullahan will ride to claim a soul. Last
generation it was your uncle, during holiday. While he slept with his wife.
They heard the whinny and sharp metallic clang of the bit in the horse’s teeth
too late. Your aunt awoke just in time to hear your uncle’s name called from
the severed head. She screamed and Gan Ceann struck her blind in her right
uncle’s soul was lost, taken in a hotel room on holiday, for there is no place
that is out of the reach of the headless horseman. No gate, no door, no fence,
no lock will keep him at bay when he rides.
could have been one of your cousins now. It could have been your sister, or
brother. You came to Elsewhere to stack the deck in your favor, to ensure it
wouldn’t be you.
But it is.
plan might have worked, but you did not move quickly enough. It was just so nice to finally
be away. Away from the daily reminders that the Dullahan still had yet to choose a
quarry; reminders to keep your gold coin always safe and ready should you hear
the horseman approaching; ongoing, repeating dialogue that reminded you that
horrible death would strike your family, and that it was not a matter of “if”
away from that daily conversation, free to even enjoy the occasional glimpses
of some other Others than the one that plagues your family, you chose to
dawdle. You thought you would take your time and shop for the best protector.
The bargain that would net you the most benefit for the least payment. You are
not keen on the stories of students who have hacked away enormous, essential
parts of themselves for something, in your opinion, entirely too small, too
insignificant. A life is an expensive thing to trade for. You did not wish to
live a half life for a little extra insurance. So you waited. Listening.
Watching. Learning. Weighing.
But now your time is nearly up.
still hear him coming, even as your heart pounds in your ears and your
straining, panting gasps shudder through the otherwise still twilight. You
pause and look about your surroundings frantically, trying to pinpoint the
direction the steed’s roaring breaths are coming from. It is the sound of the
horse only that you hear, which reminds you that you are still among the living
and still have time, however little it may be. You will not hear the voice of
Gan Ceann. Not until he calls your true name. Not until he claims your soul.
catch a glimpse against the deepening blues and purples of the sky: the black
silhouette of a rider, holding his head up by its hair to scan ahead while his
mount paws at the ground beneath its hooves. The dry grass flares up with each
trample, sending orange cinders dancing up into the air. The rider is still too
far away, but you imagine the ever moving eyes locking onto yours. In an
instant the Dullahan pulls back on the reins, and the jet-black horse rears its
head. You don’t stay to watch it resume its menacing gallop. You know the
direction he is heading.
take off again toward the copse at the far end of campus, just beyond the
library. It is rumored to have the most activity this late in the day. You need
to increase your odds of a meeting. You need to find a member of the Gentry;
anyone will do at this point. Any Other you can make a hasty trade with. You
grasp at your rucksack and hope what you have will be enough to trade. Enough
to barter for your life.
Fair Folk, please grant me an audience,” you pray, and repeat this mantra in
rhythm with your hurried steps. Once… twice… thrice…
shimmering glamour around the copse begins to lift, and out of the air directly
before you a tiny blue light appears. You hear the tinkling of bells as it
bounces in front of you. You skid to a stop just a hair’s breadth away from
running into… you aren’t entirely sure. Another tiny bell jingles and you see
another dot of blue light zip into being. And then another. And another. You
are mesmerized by the dazzling trails they are carving into the deepening
darkness, and you realize what they are.
is peculiar, even for Elsewhere. Isn’t it rumored that there are no fearie
lights at EU? They are conspicuously absent from all the recounts you have ever
heard of students being Lost, Taken, or Touched. Maybe this is a Gentry trick.
Maybe this is one of the Fair Folk simply taking a more benign form. Maybe
these truly are wisps. Maybe you are very lucky.
you have your audience.
you beg, and drop to your knees to fumble with your bag. “I’ve come to trade. I need The Court’s protection from Gan Ceann, one of the
Unseelie. He is coming for me.”
jingling. You don’t know what they are saying, if they are saying anything to
you at all. You remember the iron pins stuck in the lining of your jacket and
the salt packets slipped into your socks. Will they help you if you still carry
these deterrents? You strip your jacket and toss it away from you, likewise dig
out the salt packets and throw them into the bush. The jingling stops and the
lights hover. You take it as a good sign. The sounds of the rider’s horse are
unzip your pouch and dig out a tightly sealed mason jar. “I have sea glass and
abalone shells, and pendants of enamel and obsidian. What will you take in
exchange for protection from the Dullahan?”
wisps float before you silently. You begin to feel that the deal is going
badly, and you are becoming desperate. At any moment you imagine you will hear
your name and you will be dead.
you cry, and shake the mason jar in frustration. “I’ll offer you everything I
have in exchange for your help! Please!”
tinkling of the bells resumes, and the tiny Fae line up before you. Tears
trickle down your cheeks; you did not realize you were crying.
you,” you whisper, and get to your feet. You remember to be polite; you must
always be polite. You leave your bag and grasp the mason jar tightly as you feel
yourself being drawn along a path you cannot see, a path that the wisps are
leading you down. You take out your cell phone and flip on its flashlight to
help light the ground as you hurry after them.
glamour lifts before you reach the copse and you know you are now in the realm
of The Golden Ones. A too green marshland stretches before you, where the
leaves are illuminated from within and the light along their sharp edges seems
to march like a scrolling marquee. The land is dotted here and there with old,
gnarled trees that have human faces, and nymphs and water sprites dance among
the foliage and shallow waterways. A white stag ambles by in the distance.
scenery seems lovely, but you wonder how being here will protect you from the
Dullahan. You expected to be brought to a castle, or a fortress, or some other
place with defenses. Maybe just being beyond the veil of the glamour will be
enough, you think. No man-made structures can stop a Dullahan; maybe the thin
glamour will prove stronger. Or, at least, strong enough.
sudden gust of hot air on your neck makes you shriek, and you whirl around
to see the Dullahan and his black horse towering over you. The horse’s nostrils
flare and his breath comes out in a burst of fire. Gan Ceann still holds his
head aloft by the hair, and its ever moving dark eyes lock with yours. You fall
back into the waters of the marsh as the soft, sunken, moldy cheese colored
face splits into a horrifying toothy grin, impossibly wide, so wide it literally
stretches ear to ear. The mouth opens, and you know the next breath will be
your name and your soul will leave you. You do the only thing you can think to
do in the split second you have left.
throw your cell phone at the horse’s feet.
back flies off and the screen shatters into a hundred shards. The horse rears
up and jumps back. The Dullahan head screams. There is no name in his
screeching cry. He yanks the reins around, and turns to ride out of the Seelie
marshland the way he came.
is gone. You are alive.
breaths come in ragged sobs. At first, you are confused. Relieved, but
confused. As you reach for the remnants of your phone, you remember something
that you never should have forgotten. If your phone was functional you would
query the Internet. “How much gold is in a smartphone?” you would ask. “Enough”
is the answer. There is enough.
remember the wisps and dump your mason jar of treasures out onto the soggy marsh
bank beside you to show your gratitude. They surround you while you stand and
you thank Them again for their protection.
are not dancing. They are not jingling, or tinkling, but They are making some
airy sort of noise. It bubbles and echoes around you until you realize with
horror that it is the tittering sound of laughter.
feet are rooted in the marsh. You do not feel them anymore, and do not see the
way back to the campus. The luminescence of the marsh has become black,
and in the dark all you see are the lights of the wisps and the glowing amber eyes of
the trees. The trees with the human faces.
will be favored here. You will live, and the Dullahan will never claim your
Gear list for the @jhermann‘s wedding this weekend.
Canon 5D mk3
Canon 5D mk2
50mm 1.2 L
24mm 1.4 L
70-200 2.8 L
50mm 1.4 FD
I love doing photo/video combos for weddings because I can bring on talented individuals that may not be involved in the wedding world and instead of treating them like second shooters, we’re a film crew working towards a single goal.
“I’m so used to you smashing across our enemies, shoulder to shoulder with Grog. I get complacent. You’re so strong. I know that, so much more powerful than I am, but I can’t have you gone. I need you here. So anything we can do to stack the deck in your favor -When you fell yesterday it shook me.”
Vax gives Keyleth his Cloak of Displacement | Episode 70
I have a problem with people comparing James to Snape and making it seem like James was some sort of Prince in comparison. To compare the two is ridiculous. James was playing with house money, while Snape had the deck stacked against him. James enjoyed a privileged life with money, good looks, and adoration while Snape grew up in poverty, was neglected, abused by his muggle father, and ugly. The town Snape grew up in knew of his family’s troubles (when he first meets Petunia, she knows who he is from only his appearance). He was so poor that he was wearing his mother’s old blouse and his father’s old coat. I’m not blaming James for any of this. It is not his fault he was born into splendor any more than it was Snape’s fault he was born into squalor. I’m simply trying to focus on their very different paths and how their different experiences of the world would have made life more difficult for Snape, and easier for James.
When they are sorted, James goes to Gryffindor. The house Dumbledore clearly favors (as it was his own) and the house Lily is sorted into. Snape is sorted into Slytherin house. The rival of Gryffindor. Where a powerful wizard, Lord Voldemort, came from and is now recruiting as many (all?) of the children from Slytherin house as he can. Let’s not forget Snape is also a half-blood in a house that (now more than ever with the imminent rise of Voldemort) regards pure blooded wizards as superior to everyone else, so once again he would be seen as lesser than others. James’ and Snape’s choice of house did not seem to be determined by any character tributes, or faults either. Both boys chose the house their family belonged to. They were raised hearing about the fond memories their parents (parent for Snape) had in their respective houses, so in a way, the choice was made for them. A change of house may have made all the difference in Snape’s life, but we can never know for sure.
J.K. Rowling paints a heartbreaking picture in the chapter The Prince’s Tale after Snape is sorted into Slytherin:
“And Severus Snape moved off to the other side of the hall. Away from Lily, to where the Slytherins were cheering him. To where Lucius Malfoy, a prefect badge gleaming on his chest, patted Snape on the back as he sat down beside him.”
Snape is taken away from the good in his life and placed into the hornets nest. Of course Snape still could have done the right thing, but think of how much harder it would have been for him to do it. Does this mean we should forgive Snape of all of his evil deeds? No, of course not. When faced with the choice of right or wrong, he would tell you himself that he chose wrong. I am only asking you to see how much clearer things would have been for James, who was surrounded by good his whole life. How much easier it would have been for him to make the right choices. It’s unfair to make James the standard that Snape didn’t live up to. That’s not to say you can’t applaud James. He did many great things in his short life that deserve praise, but not at the expense of Snape. James did some horrible things too that should not be swept under the rug just because it pales in comparison to the horrible things Snape did. It’s not right to use your repulsion for Snape to prop up James.
Getting real tired of all of the white girls in bathtubs/ convenient bodies of water trying to make Ophelia’s death ‘beautiful’. Drowning victims are not beautiful. Romanticizing the death of young girls is not beautiful. Romanticizing mental illness and societal pressures is not beautiful.
I know I’m defending/ being protective of a dead fictional character but honor her struggle. Recognize her contending with a deck stacked against her, the loss of her father and Hamlet. Recognize her as more than just a pretty corpse with pretty flowers. Honor Ophelia.