stab-yer-dad

2

alright everyone! let’s do this.

i just set up an online store where you can pre-order a kylo ren “stab yer dad” t-shirt. i’m gonna leave it up til, let’s say, thursday, january 21st, and then close up shop and put in the t-shirt orders. i might tweak the design between now and then, but here’s the basic idea! let me know if you have any feedback…

also, in an effort to clean out some of the old spoonboy merch out of my closet, you can buy an old spoonboy t-shirt or LP for just $5 with a purchase of one of the “stab yer dad” shirts!

OK here we go.

http://spoonboyren.storenvy.com/

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Spoonboy - Stab Yer Dad [PCS]

ANNOUNCING THE STAB YER DAD T-SHIRT DESIGN CONTEST WINNER!!

my expert panel of judges has convened and the results are in.  the winner of the stab yer dad t-shirt design competition is JOE DEGEORGE, who designed the above “subtle knife” design.  here’s what joe had to say about the design:

“The drawing is a reference to the His Dark Materials series.  I’m not sure if you’ve read it but The Subtle Knife, also called Æsahættr means "God-Destroyer.”  I don’t want to give too much away if you’re going to read the book, but basically this drawing is of the destruction of God, ultimate patriarch.  Maybe it’s not goofy enough for this - maybe it is-, but personally, stabbing God was an important part of developing my own identity and world view. The His Dark Materials story resonates a lot with my own development as an atheist and my own coming of age story.  More recently your music and morality, David, has informed and cultivated the development of my own personal politics.  I’m excited to be able to join these parts of my life together in this design.  I hope you will appreciate that.“


the judges didn’t see that explanation or decide based on it, but i wanted to post it because i really really do appreciate it, and also to give context for the design.  if any of you are looking for a book series to read i HIGHLY recommend his dark materials, starting with the golden compass!

joe wins a free shirt, a free LP of “the papas,” a test pressing of the upcoming spoonboy/martha split 7"!  you may also want to check out joe’s many musical projects such as in glove with bach, switched off bach, harry and the potters, and many more.  he also makes the good luck zine and lots of other art.

in addition to the above design, i’m going to print patches of the four runners up.  the runners up were:

2. “oedipus rex” by rosie richeson
3. “father knows best” by stephen
4. “audre horne (twin peaks)” by sandy fulton
5. “buffy the vampire slayer” by ruby stone

i’ll post updates when patches and shirts are available!

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Spoonboy - Stab yer dad

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Of the things that have made me, I count myself lucky
I consider it fortune, the things like how I wasn’t taught
At a young age to respect my elders
Thank goodness for my absence of a father.
He could have taken me out, we’d have gone camping
I could have learned to wield my body as a weapon
These are things that I won’t be missing

I remember sittin’ in the car with my dirty old man
As he explained how she had asked for it
And how it was her fault
I’m only glad I didn’t take the bait
Well, I remember telling my mother
It was the last time I saw my father
No regrets for what else I’ve been missing

‘Cause I’m not jealous of a well adjusted family,
Only killing time ‘til they learn their anomaly
Don’t help the wounded ones: the children of the vengeful father
When everyone I know is still standing in the shadows of
The men who left their mark, I’d rather be left in the dark

If our fathers were our role models for God and they failed us,
What does that tell us about our supposed omnipotent savior?
Except we’re all born to fiction, daily recreated
We play the roles from the stories we learned as kids
Who bends down? Who plays God? Is it fated
Every boy on this earth should have his head stuck up his ass?
We’re all just like our dads, we keep learning the same shit again
And I wonder how long ‘til it ends

Well I remember when my dirty old man told me how I’d grow up
To be just like him when I got old
What a bizarre thing to be told, to be told

ok, a little more on stab yer dad…

i had a good conversation with bunnypunx on tumblr here and it reminded me that another big reason i wrote “stab your dad” was to take the anger i have towards my dad and rather than being embarrassed of it, own it and make something constructive out of it.

steph wrote:

“it makes everything so much better when i’m allowed to talk about my daddy issues or w/e after being told like ‘you can’t hate him, i don’t care if he’s abusing you he’s your DAD you have to love him.”“

i definitely have had people try to tell me i need to forgive my dad or let go of my anger or whatever, and i can see the utility in that, but also, i’ve managed to be a relatively adjusted person while still owning and learning from my anger, and i wouldn’t give that up for anything.  sometimes we are better off for having a reverse role model, someone who serves as a reminder for what you don’t want to be in life, and i don’t think that’s a negative thing.  there certainly can be a place for forgiveness and reconciliation if that feels appropriate, but i don’t think it’s a rule, and especially in circumstances of abusive family members, anyone who tries to make you apologize for owning feelings that are just natural reactions to being abused can fuck right off in my humble opinion.

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Cause I’m not jealous of a well adjusted family, 

Only killing time ‘til they learn their anomaly 

Don’t help the wounded ones: the children of the vengeful father 

When everyone I know is still standing in the shadows of

The men who left their mark, I’d rather be left in the dark

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Spoonboy - Stab Yer Dad (Live in Galway, Ireland) 

anonymous asked:

This is probably a dumb message, but I was wondering if you could elaborate on the message you are trying to convey in "Stab Yer Dad". I guess I am confused about whether it is meant to specifically reflect your feelings regarding your own father, or whether it is fathers in general. I am a huge fan of the whole album, but I have never known quite what to make of that song. Thanks a lot!

not a dumb message!

when i wrote “stab yer dad” i just kind of sat down and started writing about my father without much of a plan.  my family life as a child was pretty convoluted, (or to quote one person who i shared my story with, “some jerry springer shit”), but i’d never written about it which seemed strange.  i had recently written a song about my friend’s dad, and i’d been thinking a lot about how masculinity is socialized and about how many of my friends had inherited either problematic attitudes or social anxieties that stemmed from their relationships with their fathers.  in writing about my dad i realized how grateful i was that he had stepped out of my life as a young person, because many of my memories of him, in hindsight, were related to the emotional damage he did to my family and the shitty ideas about he’d taught me about women. 

at the time i wrote the song, it felt like it served as a rallying point for a lot of people i knew who had various lasting traumas related to their relationships with their fathers but hadn’t had a forum to talk about it publicly.  i remember one show specifically where i told the audience “hands up if you hate your dad,” and a good two thirds of the audience raised their hands.  obviously though, (i hope obviously), it’s not meant to be a blanket condemnation of all dads.  i know a ton of really awesome dads who really care and put a lot of thought into their parenting and i have even played “stab yer dad” in front of fathers who were at my shows with their kids… and while that might seem awkward, on a couple of occasions these fathers have come up to me and told me how much they appreciate the song because of the difficult relationships they’d had with their dads.  i don’t think the gender identity of your parent or parents matters at all if they are good loving parents, (and vice versa is also true of shitty moms or non-binary identified parents), but for various cultural reasons the archetypes of the absentee father or the emotionally neglectful/abusive father are ones that a lot of us can relate to having had in our lives.

the way i think about the song now is yes, it’s still a “fuck you” to my dad, but also i think of “dad” as kind of a stand in for any kind of cultural enforcer of dominant models of masculinity.  the culture we live in teaches male socialized kids fucked up patriarchal ideas about what it means to be a man.  whether that’s in the form of asserting masculine dominance over others, predatory and heteronormative ideas about sexuality, or harmful restrictive gender roles, it permeates our consciousness as we’re taught these ideas in all kind of non-explicit ways.  so whether these models for masculinity come from your father, your priest, your rabbi, your gym teacher, your favorite movie or tv show or even your mom, grandma, whoever, its important to try to identify and reject these influences and, you know, attempt to deconstruct all the patriarchy baggage we’re all saddled with.

incidentally, the last time i saw my dad was in 1996, when i was thirteen.  in 2009 i guess he decided to google me and found a video of me playing a song called “stab yer dad."  it felt appropriate for that to be the first communication we had in 13 years.  i wonder if he’ll google this blog post.  we shall see!

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don’t care what anybody says. spoonboy’s cool!

STAB YER DAD PATCH DESIGN #2:
“FATHER KNOWS BEST” by Stephen

next up, we’ve got a slightly updated patch design for the second runner up from the stab yer dad t-shirt design contest, “father knows best.“  it’s a reference of course to the 1950’s sitcom, a portrait of the traditional american patriarchal nuclear family.  i like this design a lot for probably obvious reasons.  you hear a lot of conservative pundits like bill o'reilly harken back to the 50’s as a "simpler time” when people shared their “traditional values,” but there’s a lot of gross racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic shit coded in there.  the 50’s were not an idyllic time for anyone but privileged white people and the folks who talk about how great that time period was are often people with privilege lamenting the fact that it’s not only straight white men who have a voice in our culture anymore.  wah wah.  *cough!* bill o'reilly *cough.*

beyond that though, you hear those same conservative pundits talking about the erosion of traditional family values and say that the left is “waging war on the family."  in response progressives and liberals try to argue that they still value the family unit.  i’m gonna go ahead and place myself on the side of the war against the family.  i think the emphasis on traditional family units like we see in 50’s sitcoms is so damaging to our collective psyche.  the idea that a family unit should only be made up of a biological mother and father and their children is insulting to all of the families that exist made up of single parents, queer couples, polyamorous family units, as well as adopted or chosen families.  many of us are better off raised by chosen families when there are so many abusive shitty biological parents out there.  that’s not to say that there are no positive traditional family units.  i know plenty of them.  but to value one particular  model of family over other models socializes us to expect or yearn for something that is not always realistic or necessarily available to everyone.

on top of all that, the valuing of the nuclear family in our culture is the earliest indoctrination we get into assigned gender roles.  the idea that we need a mother figure and a father figure in order to be well rounded people is a reinforcement of the gender binary and teaches us to compartmentalize our own masculinities and feminities in gendered ways.  blah.  fuck that.

anyway, that 1950’s family that bill o'reilly has such a hard-on for? it looks like this:



yuck.

SPOONBOY “STAB YER DAD” T-SHIRT DESIGN COMPETITION

my friend james was microblogging about the character hank hill from the television show “king of the hill” and he remarked:

“Hank Hill is the perfect depiction of the classic American dad, because he’s 30% admirable/hardworking - 30% out of touch/sympathetic - 40% despicable/controlling.”

in response, i quickly mocked up the above image, and then i thought “what other archetypical dads would work for a design like this?"  and so i put it to you, dear reader, what other* archetypical dads would work for a "stab yer dad” t-shirt design? you are invited to make a design and send it to spoobnob@gmail.com .  the winner will be chosen by a panel of impartial judges.  they will have their t-shirt design printed, get a free shirt, a free LP of “the papas,” a test pressing of the upcoming spoonboy/martha split 7" (any labels want to put this record out, btw?) AND i will do ANY ONE THING you ask (within reason**).

for your convenience here is “stab your dad” written in classic izzy jarvis handwriting. 

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DEADLINE IS JUNE 30TH.  MIDNIGHT.  EASTERN STANDARD TIME.

* you are also still free to use hank hill as your archetypical dad if you so choose.
** i reserve the right to also not do what you ask.