stab kids

One time in high school I was waiting to talk to the Vice Principal and this other kid came in and sat down next to me. He said “What are you in for?” And I said “Oh, they just want to know if it’s cool if I miss my classes tomorrow to run sound and lights for a presentation in the auditorium. What are you in for?” and he said that he stabbed a kid with a screwdriver. I told him we led very different lives and he agreed.

School-Related Sentence Starters

Everyday

  • “Did we have homework?”
  • “Please be my lab partner.”
  • “Can I borrow a pencil?”
  • “I really don’t want to talk in front of the whole class…”
  • “Can I copy off of you real quick?”
  • “Do you think the teacher is hot?”
  • “It’s not cheating. It’s just teamwork.”
  • “Do you think the new kid is hot?”
  • “Pretty sure the teacher is out to get me…”
  • “You are…so dumb…”
  • “Was Shakespeare gay?”
  • “Please tell me you didn’t start the project either.”
  • “If I do it at the last minute, then I’ll have a minute.”
  • “Can I borrow your notes?”
  • “This class is so boring…”
  • “Am I in the right classroom?”
  • “Someone drew a dick in my textbook.”
  • “Do you know where the nurse’s office is?”
  • “Someone put a picture of Shrek in my locker.”
  • “I can’t wait to graduate…”
  • “Meet me in the bathroom/gym/locker room later. I need to tell you something.”

Exams

  • “I forgot about the midterm.”
  • “I’m gonna FAIL.”
  • “Shut up! You always say you’re going to fail, and then you get an A.”
  • “Please help me study.”
  • “If I don’t pass, my parents are going to KILL me.”
  • “Do you ever think about how studying is just ‘student’ and ‘dying’ put together?”
  • “I live at the library now.”
  • “Do you need help with the chapter?”
  • “I don’t even know what I don’t know.”
  • “I’m afraid that they’ll revoke my scholarship.”
  • “I HAVE to be at the top of the class.”
  • “Do you even know how to read?”
  • “I don’t even get the Sparknotes…”
  • “Maybe I’ll be okay if I pick A for every answer…I have to get an A, right?”
  • “I don’t need to go to college anyway.”
  • “Sleep is for the weak.”
  • “I just did 200 practice problems. I forgot my own name.”
  • “I remember that shrimp can see more colors than we can, but I don’t remember the vocabulary words for the test.”
  • “Your notes are just doodles.”

Lunchtime

  • “What’s for lunch?”
  • “Please trade lunches with me.”
  • “I dare you to fling your peas at the principal.”
  • “There’s NO way I’m eating that.”
  • “All I have are skittles and an old Oreo.”
  • “I would kill for a taco right now.”
  • “Lunch is the only class I can do well in.”
  • “There’s pizza today.”
  • “Is that a bug in your sandwich?”
  • “Ugh, this is expired.”
  • “Is this seat taken?”
  • “I can’t eat that, I’m on a diet.”
  • “Did you make this?”
  • “If you give me a dollar, I’ll love you forever.”
  • “I made brownies.”
  • “Let’s eat outside today.”
  • “Do you think we could get pizza delivered to the school?”
  • “You’re in my seat.”
  • “These freshmen think that they can just take our table…”

Gym

  • “I can’t run for my life.”
  • “Don’t throw the ball at me!!”
  • “Why do you look so red?”
  • “I’m DYING.”
  • “It’s just sports! What could go wrong?”
  • “I can’t run anymore.”
  • “Your team is going DOWN.”
  • “Are you okay?!”
  • “You really suck at this, don’t you?”
  • “Think fast!”
  • “Is that the best you can do?”
  • “I dare you to race me.”
  • “I think the gym teacher is a supersoldier.”

Uniforms / Clothes

  • “I HATE these pants/skirts.”
  • “Do you think anyone would notice if I wore pajamas?”
  • “I haven’t washed my gym clothes in a week…”
  • “I should be allowed to wear whatever I want.”
  • “Can you believe they called my outfit ‘inappropriate’?!”
  • “I’m so sick of seeing (school color).”
  • “I wear this uniform in my dreams. I mean, in my nightmares.”
  • “Those are the most hideous shoes I’ve ever seen.”
  • “Do you think her/his girl/boyfriend got her that?”
  • “Did your boy/girlfriend really buy you that?”
  • “Class rings are overrated.”
  • “We should totally get matching hoodies.”
  • “What show/movie is your shirt from?”
  • “I can see your underwear.”

Detention

  • “Wanna skip?”
  • “I can’t believe I’m in here.”
  • “Welcome, prince(ss)! Is this your first time?”
  • “That teacher DESERVED to be cursed out, okay?”
  • “I didn’t even do anything wrong…”
  • “Fuck the police.”
  • “They put me in here just for being late…”
  • “Did you actually bash the principal’s car?”
  • “A little thing like you managed to beat the crap out of someone?”
  • “You look like you don’t belong in here.”
  • “This is prison.”
  • “I tried to stab a kid with a pencil.”
  • “They think I’ll learn my lesson in here? I’m going to do it again.”
  • “All I did was a little graffiti.”
  • “I’m taking a nap.”

mANSERU MANSERU MANSAE YEH

What Each Type Does With a Pencil (don’t ask, just read :)

INTP, ENTP: Unconsciously bites it (probably chokes on it but end up being fine)

INFP: Writes an awesome story in 50 pages and gets a sore wrist for a month

ESFP, ESTP: Why would they have a pencil in the first place???

ISTP: Throws it away cause he/she is too cool for a normal pencil. *takes out mechanical pencil*

ISFP: Unconsciously puts the pencil in his/her hair and then spends 4 minutes looking for the pencil.

INTJ, ISTJ: Solves a hugggeee math problem with it while people are low-key copying from their paper.

ENFJ, ESFJ: ‘’Hey do you have a pencil?’’  *but. its the only one left, should I give it to them? The teacher will SCREAM at me if I don’t have a pencil. But… I have to be nice….*   ‘’sure, here you go :)’’

ESTJ, ENTJ: STABS A KID WITH THE PENCIL BECAUSE THEY SAID SOMETHING STUPID. you’d expect me to be kidding, but i’m not kidding.

INFJ, ISFJ: Helps people solve their complicated math problems and is yelled by the teacher for some reason.

ENFP:

Originally posted by burntpasta

Writing Broganes Angst
  • Me mumbling: I'm the worst.
  • Me describing Keith's tears and Shiro's screams: I'm literally that Elmo gif where he's on flames.
  • Me as I write Lance's reaction: Who needs a heart

List of things I got sent to the principle’s office for (in vague order from kindergarten to high school):

  • stabbing a kid in the hand with a pencil 
  • bringing my mom’s pocket knife to show and tell
  • grabbing and twisting a kid’s neck skin until he cried
  • kicking my best friend in the face (he had to get stitches)
  • rolling down a hill that was out of bounds in the school yard (I got poison ivy from that)
  • teaching my entire class exactly where babies come from
  • hiding under my desk
  • telling the teacher it was my birthday and she thought I was lying (I was my birthday)
  • teaching the class Santa Clause isn’t real
  • chasing a girl around the class because I wanted to kiss her
  • passing “notes” rolled up in pencil grips
  • not gripping my pencil properly to write 
  • refusing to spell my whole last name (pihlajamaki is a long fucking name ok?)
  • telling my class my rabbits died
  • bringing a baby rabbit to class
  • full body tackling a kid who said i cheated on a test
  • kicking multiple kids in the shins 
  • punching a kid in the stomach after he dropped his lunch tray on my head
  • bringing a nursing book about anatomy to school to show my friends what a penis is
  • punching a kid in the face when he fake asked me out to a dance
  • forgetting to bring gym clothes
  • kicking a kickball into a fence and popping it
  • not doing my spelling homework
  • wearing a pentagram ring my father bought for me
  • drawing wiccan symbols on my jesus box
  • saying The Pope kicked the bucket during a viewing of the funeral
  • laughing during mass
  • refusing to do the signs of the cross
  • throwing up during mass
  • telling the class that I hate them so much I dont care if I go to hell because I’ll bring them with me
  • writing about someone’s ass in my daily journal
  • drawing particularly violent things in art class
  • refusing to do point perspective drawing for the 20th time in art class
  • drawing legs on literally everything for a month
  • drawing still lifes without a reference and boasting the teacher couldn’t tell (she couldn’t)
  • painting on the wall, someone didn’t get the mural memo I guess
  • writing ‘i love girls’ on the bathroom wall
  • convincing my friend to snort caffeine powder 
  • not bringing my copy of the hobbit to class and refusing to get a copy from the library 
  • breaking the front door of the school by kicking it open
  • ‘hacking’ into the computers to put games on them
  • telling everyone the password to the computer system was bigyakdaddy
  • going to school on ‘senor skip day’
  • dropping out of the school system entirely (they thought I did it on purpose somehow like how I changed the administrative preferences)
  • printing out 200 pages of gay erotic fanfic
Solangelo Headcannons

1. Despite being in the Greek religion, Will is highly superstitious. He will never step under a ladder and God forbid he breaks a mirror. The only one is the black cats because Nico dresses in black and this means he just doesn’t understand the stigma around black cats
2. Nico going into McDonalds and getting Will to order the Happy Meal because for the love of Hades he is not ordering a “happy” meal
3. Nico and Will arguing all the time during the day and when new kids come they are like why do they hate each other so much. But then they see them hugging together at the campfire and they are just so confused
4. Nico hates Horror movies but Will loves them. They remind Nico of his times in tarturus and other horrible times but Will doesn’t know this. They watch Poltergeist and (it’s not that scary but Nico is terrified) Nico cuddles into Will and it’s so cute
5. Nico will wake up constantly with little braids in his hair when Will sleeps with him. He has to spend ages getting them out but eventually he just leaves some of them in
6. Will decorates Nicos sword with stickers and when the camp is under attack this scary Italian kid stabs slashing at the monster with a smiley faces sword and Will is just ecstatic
7. Nico is scared of storms because of how his mother died
8. Will is scared of needles and refuses to do the injections on his patients and it’s infuriating because he knows that he shouldn’t be but he just is and can’t help it

Thanks for reading!

Who You Should Fight: Camp Camp Edition Pt 2

Daniel: Take this Mr.Clean wannabe TF down. It’s going to be hard, but possible if you’re sneaky. I would suggest either poison or a gun, because you do not want to get close enough for him to get you with his evil sacrifice knife.

Harrison: Don’t fight Harrison. Seriously, don’t. This kid is likely legitimately magic and has no problem tormenting others, even if he misses who he was aiming for. Plus, Nerris has dragged his entire life at least once.

Preston: He is That Bitch that is both a perfectionist and lives for drama. He pictures himself a mastermind, but is really just a bad writer. Don’t physically fight Preston, just insult his plot and character choices.  

Dolph: You have two choices when it comes to Dolph: fucking annihilate him, or get on his good side. He really just wants to focus on his art, but god forbid anyone tells him he doesn’t have a future in it. Either way, keep your eye on him.

Ered: Don’t fight Ered. Sure, she can be taken down a few pegs when it comes to how she uses people and is obsessed with being “cool” but it’s likely just a phase. Let this baby lesbian live.

Nurf: Do not fight Nurf. He has enough self-awareness that anything you yell at him won’t work, and this kid stabbed David in the hand. Twice. Give him one good slap if you think it would help, but otherwise, watch yourself.

Jasper: Why would you!? You know this kid didn’t die peacefully, and hasn’t he suffered enough? Never consider fighting this good boy. fight his va though

Cameron Campbell: Good fucking luck my guy. He’s been one step ahead of the Feds for years, has helicopters at his disposal, and has probably had cocaine in his system since the 80′s. Don’t fight this rich mother fucker, even if you want to.

paperweight — pcy

Originally posted by porkdo-bi

park chanyeol. reader-insert. 5,2k words. fluff/angst. au

—it couldn’t hold onto those letters forever. Neither could he hold onto her.

this one is for Liv @xiuminsm

Dear Chanyeol, 

I’m not quite sure whether to classify you as dumb or cute. Seriously, Park Chanyeol? You sent a ring along with a letter with the words “will you marry me?”and a doodle of yourself kneeling, I can’t believe you!

Oh, and PS: Yes, I will.

Love, ____.


Keep reading

anonymous asked:

For solangelo please can you write an almost first kiss? So they're getting really close but something interrupts them and Nico has an internal freak out like w t f just happened- and then awkwardnessss I'm a sucker for awkward solangelo

“Solace, get that away from me or else—”

“It’s just a bandaid!”

It’s a good thing the infirmary is empty save for the two of them, because they’re currently in a very compromising position. Will is leaning over Nico, struggling to stick a bandaid on the—tiny, barely even noticeable and definitely not bleeding anymore—cut on Nico’s nose. Nico struggles underneath him, trying to kick at him but Will doesn’t budge. There’s an arm braced against Nico’s chest, and his own arms are pushing back at the other boy wherever he can reach.

“What do you have against bandaids?” Will asks, chest heaving.

“I don’t need it,” Nico deadpans. “And that one is bright pink, which really clashes with the whole dark overlord look I’m going for.” 

“I think it suits you—oomph.”

Nico pulls his fingers back, smug while Will rubs his ribs. But then Will is eyeing him with that mischievous smile again, and Nico barely has time to throw his arms up before Will is attacking him with the bandaid again. Except this time, Will has a secret weapon: tickling.

“Will, no—!” Nico gasps, trying to dislodge Will’s hands around his middle, but he’s too busy shaking with laughter. He really hates Hazel for telling the boy about how ticklish he is.

“Will, yes!” 

Eventually, Nico grabs Will’s arms, stopping his movements. They both gasp for breath, stupid smiles on their faces, when Nico makes the mistake of looking up. Will’s face hovers above his own, freckles everywhere, a golden halo spilling from his head until it brushes Nico’s forehead. Blue eyes stare back. Then they flick down to his lips, and Nico forgets how to breathe.

“Hey, Will, another Ares kid got stabbed in the are—Uh. Did I interrupt something?”

Nico and Will spring apart, Will stumbling off the bed and Nico rolling over to face the wall. He listens to the sound of Will bumbling around for materials, ignoring Percy’s stare on his back as he tries to remember how to human. His face feels too hot. He can still feel the weight of Will on top of him, and the beautiful blush across freckled skin. 

“Nico? You alright?” Percy’s voice is amused behind him. “Need a little time to cool down?”

Nico slaps his hands to his cheeks, and groans.

I come from a small-town highschool, but you still have a bunch of “cliques” and, being a boring ass small town, quite a few kids messing around in the drug and party scene.

Well, there were these two guys who were either best friends or mortal enemies. It was constantly switching every couple of weeks or so. During their “mortal enemies” period, the two were arguing at lunch. One of them ended up getting really pissed, so he grabbed one of the forks (we had metal cutlery) and stabbed the other kid in the hand.

Shortly after that, the school decided to take away the metal…..knives. That’s right. They took away the dull ass metal butter knives that tbh couldn’t cut shit. Like, seriously. They were useless for most things but it was easier using those rather than just the knife to cut the food.

Then the kid did it again a few weeks later, so they completely removed all metal cutlery and brought in plastic sporks. Course that only lasted for a month, thankfully, because the sporks were even more useless than the knives.