AN: Just a short intro chapter, to my first Blue Bloods fic. I’ll continue if anyone is interested.
It was my fault, I was in a hurry and not paying attention, as I rushed out of the coffee shop. I was shoving my phone into my bag, holding my coffee in one hand, as I was rushing towards St. Vincent’s Children’s Hospital.
I ran into a solid wall of muscle, losing my balance I started to fall backwards. I dropped my coffee as I started to fall, two strong arms wrapped around me, pulling me close.
I looked up into a pair of hazel eyes. “Excuse me, I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay, are you alright? You didn’t burn yourself, when you dropped your coffee?”
His arms were still around me, I shook my head, smiling at him. His colognewas intoxicating. “No, I’m fine.” I stepped out of his arms, trying to clear my head.
“I’m Jamie, let me buy you another cup of coffee.”
“I’m sorry, I’m late for work. Maybe another time…” I turned running down the street, realizing I hadn’t given him my name. I turned around to see him still standing there. “I’m (Y/F/N) (Y/L/N).”
He waved to let me know he heard me, I smiled to myself as I dashed towards the hospital.
I am a YouTube fanatic, no doubt about it. I always enjoyed watching YouTube as a child and even more so now as a young adult. When I tell people that Markiplier literally helped me through the hardest time of my life, they think I’m being over dramatic, but I’m not.
My first Markiplier video was the original How to Pole dance video. September 17, 2013, my sisters twenty-first birthday. I was a senior in high school and we were just welcoming my mom home from another two week stay in the hospital. For those of you who don’t know, here’s a little backstory to this.
When I was a sophomore in high school, in February 2012, my mom got sick and got sick fast. She was rushed to St Vincent’s Hospital in Indianapolis where it took them a week to figure out what was wrong - her kidneys were failing. Three months of kidney dialysis, and therapy, and my mom got to come home right around Mother’s Day that year. She was there for my sisters graduation at the end of the month. That was the last time I would take a picture with my mom when she was (Semi)healthy. In July, we found out by some miracle of god that her kidneys had started working again. However, after discussions with the doctor, she continued to go to dialysis on tuesdays, thursdays and saturdays. Then she started to get sick again, and we knew she wasn’t going to come out of it this time. By this point, on September 17, 2013, we knew my mom was dying.
So it was on this day in 2013, when the oh-so clever Markiplier uploaded his poledancing video, that my sister comes out and says “Hey you need to watch this, it’s hilarious.” It was, but I was also taking 12 online classes on top of a 7 class day at my high school to graduate on time, so I kind of put it out of my mind. I did graduate on time, I got my diploma May 31, 2014 and enrolled in college in the next town over to get a degree in Early Childhood Education, and then it happened.
July 30, 2014, I went to my moms hospital room and told her “I love you, I’ll see you when I get back from Baltimore on Tuesday.” I was going to Baltimore because my aunt and cousin (Known on tumblr as BronyMom) were doing a panel at Bronycon 2014 and it was my life goal to go to Baltimore, as I’m a diehard Ravens and Orioles fan, and they had already purchased their tickets to the convention when they received comp’d tickets for being on a panel. My aunt was diagnosed with Rhabdomyosarcoma in her leg just a couple weeks before and was recovering from cancer surgery (cleared to go to Baltimore just the day before!) and so her daughters and I would take the tickets. The weekend was great, I had a blast.
August 3, 2014. Roughly 4 pm, my uncle calls and tells us that my mom is not doing good. The last good day is a very real thing, because she was laughing and talking and joking with my sister the night before, and my sister went home that morning to shower only to return with my grandmother about 1:30 and be told that she wasn’t doing well at all. My mom had made it clear that she didn’t want any measures to extend her life, she didn’t want to live on a machine. My grandmother made the decision to keep her comfortable. We got the call, we speed-packed our hotel room and headed towards home. 8:20 pm. My aunt gets the call, my mom passed away six minutes earlier. Neither of my sisters were in the room, I was roughly 800 miles from home. It destroyed me.
Now I know what you’re all thinking. What the hell does this have to do with Markiplier? Well here’s where the goof comes into this situation. We stopped at a McDonalds on the Maryland/West Virginia line. My cousin, a whole 13 months younger than me, shoves his phone in my hands. I asked him what he was doing and he told me that I needed to smile, so here, watch this video. I can’t tell you what video it was, but I can tell you the first thing I thought was “Hey! That’s the guy from the dumb pole dancing video!” And it worked, I smiled even though my world was coming down around me. I watched Markiplier videos the rest of the drive home. I was supposed to start college a week later, but I physically couldn’t do it. We hadn’t even had my mom’s funeral yet, so I decided to take a semester off. A semester has turned into six now. The depression I had struggled with in high school came back fast and the insomnia was crazy. My sisters didn’t have these problems, and told me to simply get over it. Well, they were home when my mom died, and I was on a highway hundreds of miles away. The medicine didn’t help. They upped my antidepressant three times in six months, then started me on a new one that caused me to have absence seizures. Of the past three years, I am probably missing a total of 6 months. I finally decided to stop using that medication but they wouldn’t switch me to a new one. I use CBD Oil now and haven’t had a seizure in almost six months.
During the time that I was struggling so bad, Mark because a constant in my life. I struggled to communicate with other people and while everything was around me crashing down and changing so fast, he was the one thing that stayed constant. I could count on this giant goofball to make me smile everyday even if it was just for about ten minutes.
I actually got to attend the You’re Welcome tour in June, when they were in Indianapolis. It was the single best night of my life. I work a full time job now, but I still make time to watch a Mark video every day.
The chances of him ever seeing this is very slim but if he does, this is a thank you. Losing my mom was the hardest thing I have ever dealt with. Thank you for making me smile when I was sure I never would again. Thank you for being you. Just thank you in general. Thank you to not only Mark, but Ethan, Tyler, Bob, Wade, Sean, etc. I feel like I belong in a community of awesome people because of these guys.
And to you guys reading this, March is Kidney Disease Awareness Month. The National Kidney Foundation runs free screenings during the month of March and I can not tell you enough how important it is to have at least one working kidney. Kidney disease runs in my family, it killed my mother. I honestly think people forget how important your kidneys are and how quick they can destroy your life if something goes wrong.
Thats all I have to say for now, so once again. Thank you.
Vincent van Gogh, Zouave, Wheat field with sheaves and Arles in the background, Garden with Flowers, The Corner of the Park & Pollard Birches, A Corner of the Garden of St Paul’s Hospital at St Rémy, La Crau Seen from Montmajour (ink on paper), 1884-1889.
White. White was everywhere. It made Dan’s eyes burn and water because everything was so fucking white and pristine and he wanted to claw his eyes out. There were paintings on the walls of smiling suns and happy children and joyful puppies, but it just made his stomach clench in anger and his ears ring at each slamming door and passing person.
Phil was beside him, holding his hand as they walked, trying to be of some comfort. But there was no comfort here, not in a place like this. After Dan gets registered, Phil will leave and Dan will be left alone with a fucked up head and prawning doctors.
July 7, 1981: Ironworkers on the Brooklyn Bridge attended to cables that had snapped, closing down the pedestrian walkway from June 28 — when the cables broke — until early August. “Akira Aimi, the 32-year-old Japanese freelance photographer who was critically injured when he was hit by one of the snapped cables, died yesterday at St. Vincent’s Hospital,” reported The Times. Have no fear, however, said a representative of the Transportation Department. “When the retainers are installed, it will be equally safe for pedestrians and bicycles. I would walk across it then with my wife and family anytime,” he said. Photo: Fred R. Conrad/The New York Times
Candlelight vigil happening outside the closed St. Vincent’s Hospital to commemorate the 100th anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic. Survivors were treated at St. Vincent’s, which the Rudin Family is now converting into a billion-dollar luxury condo and townhouse complex.