This year I found great friendship in two great guys, Justin and Greg. At least at this first glance through my eyes, they contrast quite ironically. They themselves are great friends and, according to one, used to be closer.
Greg is deeply emotional and very personal. While I welcomed his niceness, it was extremely off-putting at first, and I am still adjusting. Over text, when we were first meeting, he suggested we ask questions about each other, the most uncomfortable moments of it all. Last time we hung out, it was after daily mass, and, before we left, I had to follow him around as he made sure to say goodbye and chat with nearly everyone in a very special way, almost as if it was a compulsive requirement. At his place, we watched Netflix. I had just finished the Office, which in the middle of he told me he loved so we talked about that. From there, I got him started on Parks and Recreation. We didn’t watch it though. With it on, he just talked and asked everything, starting with going over our days to our dark pasts. I had been wanting this and needing this, especially from a guy for a long time now. For the first time, it was being done to such an extent though, that I was the one that felt uncomfortable with it. It should not stay a problem. I have always been able to let anybody vent, and he is the first person to let and ask me to vent in a long while. He might ask for more than I want, but he will not ask twice, so I only share what I want. It is nice. I will share more when I am more comfortable. I will also mention he lives at the Beach House, so it is also nice to see Marc, Shawn, and Tim when I go.
Justin is close to the opposite in how all of this works, and I love it. We do not have a problem having a conversation, but no one’s being forced to talk about suicidal friends from our past or what sucks about the now. We talk about Batman v. Superman, who is our favorite Robin, how great Age of Ultron was, or how much Suicide Squad’s gonna suck. He’s a guy guy, or a college one at least. He’s nice like Greg, but in a natural, say hi in passing kind of way. I know both of them from SMYRT, but I had been hanging around him and his girlfriend since. By the way, his girlfriend is awesome, and so is he. They are the perfect couple. She is into Night Vale, and I got to finally talk to somebody about that. At several of the SMYRT lunches I would just be talking with them, and they would just be hanging on each other teasing each other with things she kept finding on Pinterest. I feel like the most non-awkward third wheel around them. Greg complained that when they first got together PDA was a huge problem, and I could definitely see that since they have been together for a while and they are still being cute. Maybe I would find it less cute if I had seen them before, but now they just look perfect. Last time we hung out we met up for lunch and then went back to his place planning to watch Gods and Monsters but ended up playing Smash 4. Also, he lives with Soriano, another nice dude.
In hindsight, I really wish I had this kind of friendship in high school, one of trustworthy and worthwhile male companionship. When I use the word hindsight, here, I do not mean ‘in going back,’ either, but only ‘in looking back’ I would have felt this more intense than I had. At my school, or in my circle of peers it just was not how the dice were tossed. Looking back at high school, the seven closest friends during those years were female. Probably next would be Cameron who gets that place for the time I inevitably spent with him due to cross country, art, and shared classes, the conversations we could have due to shared religions, and interest in nature, but after high school he falls off of the list due to characteristics of being inconsiderate and lazy. Alec would be next for mostly the same reasons. He proved to be more worthy of conversations, but his ego made it hard, and while we are much closer today and I consider him a good friend his ego keeps him from being the same type of friend as these others. Senior year, when we knew we would be living together told us to take more chances to talk, but we had had more than half of our classes together since freshman year anyway. I spent the most time outside of school with Noah due to cross country and the misfits, but, in the end, we had nothing in common and he proved untrustworthy. With the hindsight of the present it feels like both Cameron and Noah’s friendships were more ones of humoring due to circumstance. It was hard to speak about much with Noah, and he had been caught lying to me in order to compete for a girl, once sophomore year and then again senior year. Much time distances this, however, I have long since forgiven him, and I would much more than welcome a reopening of our friendship, although it would of course not be the same due to trust and the fact we will no longer see each other every day. I am sure n time I will feel the same about Cameron, and I would not mind hearing from him again with my newly formed expectations for him. I guess it turns out Katie was more than right when she said Pope John lacked in quality guys.
None of this is to bash any of the female friends I made. My best friend remains the same, and I still trust her with everything. I will not say that you can never have too many friends or the more the merrier. It is nice to be well liked, but it is better to be loved. Even if my girl friends share a platonic love with me, it is a different companionship than I can have with one from another guy. They may be able to fill the part very well, but to have a sister is not the same to having a brother.