The Joker x Reader - “The Promise” Part 2

The Joker never saw it coming; he left his guard down for a moment and it all went to pieces. Nothing to hold on to now except his son and the memory of you. But maybe there is something else that won’t let him go either…

Read Part 1 here:

“You’re my prisoner for the night,” you would hold his hands above his head. “I’m not gonna let you go anywhere,” and you kissed his neck painfully slow.

“I don’t wanna go anywhere,” J would growl, admitting to the truth. “Unless Kase wakes up, crying…but we can always start all over, hm?”

“Ohhh, I don’t mind that,” you whispered in his ear and backed up on top of him just enough to take your lacy nightgown off. “Don’t look at my stretchmarks, ok?” you used to plead, self-conscious about them.

“ Stretchmarks? Nahhhh…” J would trace them on your tummy. “These are battle wounds, Y/N. And you’ve clearly won the battle: we have a very cute baby.”

“He is cute, huh?” you would giggle, tossing the garment somewhere behind you.

“Yeah, thanks to me,” The Joker used to taunt, pinching your thigh. “Obviously.”

“Are you calling me ugly?” you frowned, slapping his chest.

“Nope… you’re a very pretty girl, but don’t tell anybody. I don’t want someone to steal you away.”

“Wow, did you just say that loud?” you let your head fall on his shoulder, laughing.

“No, I didn’t,” The Joker would pucker his lips, antagonized he actually uttered such words. “You’re hearing things, Y/N.”

“Probably; I’m getting old,” and you reached over to kiss him, smiling.

That smile of yours…

“Daddy, daddy…” the shy voice wakes him up. “Daddy, you’re talking in your sleep,” his son touches his arm, placing a small plate on the side of the bed.

J blinks, reality settling in. Sometimes he doesn’t want to wake up. At all. He wants to dream about you, uninterrupted; at least that.

“Hey, kid…,” he moves up on the pillows, yawning.

“I made you breakfast,” Kase shows him the plate with some burned toast and a bit of grape jelly on top.

“That’s nice…” The Joker sighs. “Did you eat?”

“U-hum, Frosty brought a lot of food over.”

He always does. All the henchmen take turns to make sure nothing is missing from the penthouse. They are a bunch of jerks, but they know the kid needs food and J told them to take care of it so they obey. Their boss is out of it, even more than before; God knows for how long, and they all feel they are walking on eggshells. The King of Gotham is lost since you were murdered 4 months ago.

He has no idea on how to be a parent on his own. You were the one that seemed to know more than him about that kind of stuff. He is just… somehow winging it. And it makes him even more enraged since you are not there to help. It’s not that he is neglecting his child; it’s more like he is trying to ignore him. Why? Because Kase reminds The Joker of you. He struggles with his demons so much there is no room for too much more.

“You like it?” the boy inquires with big eyes, nervous to hear the reply.

“It’s so good,” J sadly smiles taking a bite of the extra crunchy bread. “I don’t remember having such a perfect breakfast in a while.”

Kase snickers and bites on his nails, watching his father munch on that “yummy” food he made.

“Mommy says I have to take care of you; you don’t eat enough.”

The Joker can’t swallow that last bite.

“Please stop talking like this, yes?” he messes his son’s hair, frowning.

“Daddy…” the little one hesitantly gets up on the bed, sitting on J’s knees. “Are you going to say it?”

“Say what?”

“Happy Birthday,” Kase sulks, sliding up his father’s knees even more. “It’s my birthday today.”

“Shit,” J closes his eyes, tossing the plate on the night stand.

He completely forgot. Definitely not winning the Father of The Year award.

“Happy Birthday, kid!” he pulls the boy in his arms and kisses his temple. “How old are you now?”

“Six,” the quiet answer is fast to follow.

“That’s right, I knew that. You’re growing so fast… Your mom would have…” and he stops, sensing that ache biting at his chest, sharp blades cutting through his heart. A deep breath, then silence for a few seconds. “Anyway, we’ll do something, alright? And I will get you anything you want.”

Kase gasps, suddenly full of energy.

“Really?! Really daddy?”
“Yes, we’ll both take a shower and get ready, then we can go.”

“Yayy!!! Yayyyyy!!!! “ the kid leaves his father’s lap, jumping up and down on the bed.

J finds himself smirking, immersed in his child’s excited outburst.

“Thank you, daddy! You’re the best!!!” he shouts, gives The Joker a kiss on the cheek and runs screaming towards the master bathroom.

You’re the best… J mumbles, finally getting out of bed. What does that even mean?…

He’s been moping around for so long he finds it hard to get ready and leave the penthouse. As he takes a shower and his son is in the other bathtub taking a bath, he seriously contemplates cancelling the birthday plans. But something won’t let him.

“I’m done, daddy! I’m going to get dressed!” Kase announces and J peeks from behind the heavy shower curtain.

“I’ll be done soon too. We’ll dress the same, OK?”

“Hooraaaayyy!!!!” J hears the door being slammed and stomping up the staircase.

The two of them have a lot of matching outfits. Since today is a special day, might as well wear one.

– You would get so emotional when you saw both wearing identical clothes.

“Look at my handsome boys! If I die right now, I would die happy,” and you got teary, making The Joker roll his eyes.

“So much drama for nothing, Princess.”

Kase would cover his mouth with his hands, giggling when his father winked at him, grinning at your silly reaction.

“What would you know about that?” you sniffled, wiping your eyes, feeling so overwhelmed when J squeezed you in his arms, kissing you so you would shut up.

“I know enough,“ he would purr in your ear. “Want me to prove it tonight, after the kid goes to sleep?” the low tone unexpectedly got you all lightheaded.

“Yes, prove it, “you breathed on his lips and Kase would run over, pulling on your dress.

“Mommy, I want a kiss too!”

J grunts at the painful memory as he buttons up his son’s purple shirt.

“Does something hurt, daddy?” the little boy asks, seeing the painful grimace on The Joker’s face.

“No, nothing…” and he gets up, being done with the task. “ I think we look dashing,” he distracts his boy from the real issue. Or is he distracting himself?

He notices Kase staring at him, then to his left, then back to him again. And suddenly the little one bursts into tears, crying so hard it scares The Joker.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” J bends one knee to kneel in front of his son. “What is it?” he cups his face, actually worried.

Kase keeps on staring to The Joker’s left again, not being able to quit bawling.

“No, I-I don’t wanna tell him that…” he seems to be answering to someone else’s question.

“Hey, knock it out! What’s going on, hm?”

“Mommy…” and his son takes a deep breath, whimpering and trying to talk. “Mommy says you should get a new girlfriend. She doesn’t mind; she understands. I-I…” and the crying intensifies so badly the little face gets super red. “…I don’t want another moommmyyy!!! I want MY mommy!!!” and he charges at his father’s neck, hugging him so tight it makes the Joker cringe. “P-please daaaddyyy, I don’t want another mommy!!!” Kase keeps on begging, unaware of his father’s own heartache.

J can’t move. Where is this coming from?! He wants to get mad like he usually does when his son says things like that, but it’s almost as he can’t find the strength to do it.

“Ssssttt, stop crying. You‘re not getting a new mom, alright?” The Joker surprisingly goes another route in order to calm his child’s hysterical behavior. “ Who the hell had time to even think about that?” he mutters the last sentence mostly to himself. “Hey, look at me,” he continues to caress his son’s back. “You can’t cry on your birthday, that’s the rule. Do we understand each other?”

“Y-yes…” the small body shakes in his arms, finally letting go.

“We need to clean you up now; your face is a mess. It’s ok, you’re not getting another mom, alright?”

“U-hum,” the 6 year old agrees, feeling better since his father reassured him. “You promise daddy?”

“Yeah, brat, I promise,” J is fast to answer because the strange episode needs to stop.

“Mommy says she loves you,” Kase pecks his star tattoo, sniffling, then goes inside the bathroom, turning on the water in the sink so he can wash his face.

The Joker can’t even get up yet; he feels so drained and exhausted. He can’t understand why Kase continues to talk like that. J refuses to acknowledge the obvious: that THERE IS something happening with his kid. The stuff he says sometimes…Things he couldn’t possibly know about.

“I’m done, daddy,” and that makes The King of Gotham to finally get up on his feet.

– J took his son to different toy stores owned by people he does business with. Some of them use the upfront venture for money laundering, some conduct less than legal affairs behind closed doors. No matter. Just one word from The Prince of Crime and the chosen location closes under 10 minutes. Like somebody would dare saying no to him.

Kase runs all over the place, picking toys he likes to take back to the penthouse.

“Daddy, can I have this one too?” he barely pushes the huge box with a tank inside in front of J.
“ Sure, whatever you want, as many as you want,” a bored Joker answers, absent minded. He is sitting on a lather couch, displeased with the color. The pile of toys next to him is getting bigger and bigger.

The cake resting on a glass table nearby has 6 candles waiting to be lit. J ordered Frost to bring it over here, since “Rascal’s ” is the last stop for the day. Kase takes the mini-silver jacket off, tired from all the hard work he’s been doing and crawls in his father’s lap.

“That’s it,” he huffs, bouncing his legs, impatiently eyeballing his favorite chocolate cake.

“Are you sure?” J double checks, leaning over to light up the candles.

“Yes,” he rubs his eyes, getting ready to blow the flames.

“Make a wish,” The Joker urges, wanting to head back home soon.

His son innocent request strikes a chord within J:

“I want my mommy back,” and he blows in the candles, the flickering lights dancing in frenzy before disappearing in thin air.

“Great job, kid!” he gets praised and they are both silent before the cake gets cut. Kase gets a piece and J doesn’t want any. He didn’t have anything today except that toast in the morning, yet he’s not hungry. No appetite since you’ve been gone.

“Here, Daddy,” the little boy offers a bite to his father and J nods a no.

“You eat it, I’m fine.”

“Huh?” he glances over The Joker’s shoulder, carefully listening. “Mommy says you should eat, she doesn’t like it you’re skinnier.”

“Not again…” the complaint is following the remark. “Can you take a break from this? I really don’t want to put up with your…”, J is shouting without realizing it.

“Mommy doesn’t like it when you yell at me…” Kase interrupts, startled.
“YOUR MOM IS DEAD!!! Do you hear me? SHE’S DEAD! Why are you pushing me, hm?” The Joker yanks the plate from his son’s hand, slamming it on the floor. “ Shut up! And don’t cry either! We’re going home! No toys!!!” he yanks the little hand away, furious again, incapable of controlling his temper.

The poor kid can hardly keep up with his father, trying so hard not to cry because he’s afraid J will get angrier.

“Daddy…daddy…” Kase pleads and The Joker snaps at him one more time.

“What?! What is it now?!”

“Mommy says that if you don’t stop, she’ll hate you even if she said she never will,” and tears follow while J slows down then halts. “My hand hurts,” Kase sobs and J releases his strong grip, the words making him aware of what he’s doing.

Fuck, he thinks, trying to cool down.

Why is he taking it on his kid? Probably because there is nobody else around. No you, no one else to tell what’s going on inside his head. That uncanny feeling he lost something he can never get back becomes stronger with each passing day. The restlessness is unbearable, the pain ever growing. He misses you so much it physically hurts most of the time. That’s why he finds it hard to even get out of bed. All he wants is to be left alone.

He’s a goddamned lunatic, completely gone and lost for the world, just like that old Arkham report stated. Why pretend to be something else? And yet…

He gazes at the small child without seeing anything.

“Daddy, are you mad at me?” Kase hugs his legs, getting him out of trance.

The Joker lifts his son up, carrying him in his arms towards the exit.

“No, I’m not. How’s your hand?” he grumbles, kissing the tiny fingers.

“Doesn’t hurt anymore,” the boy admits, already forgetting about it. There is nothing more he wants than his father’s attention. Since your death, J seems so far away, in his own world. Kase needs somebody to take care of him; he’s just 6. It doesn’t matter that the infamous Joker is his dad, the kid loves him regardless. To a child, his parents are the center of the universe. And right now, The Joker is the only one feeling up that space.

Certainly not winning the Father of The Year award.

“Frost will bring all the toys and the cake to the house, OK?” J makes amendments, almost out of there. “Can you…can you tell your mom not to hate me?” he suddenly articulates, mostly on a whim.

“I don’t have to, daddy. She can hear you,” Kase smiles, not crying anymore.

That smile of his
– J got so many more presents for his son. He watched Kase open all of them, and that crazy laugh of his finally echoed in the Penthouse after so long. But when the night comes, all alone with his devils again, tossing and turning, unable to rest until he takes his sleeping pills. But they take about 15 minutes to kick in.

He’s facing your side of the bed, sensing Kase against his body behind him. His son really wanted to sleep in there and J didn’t object. He has to make up for being so out of control right on his kid’s birthday.

The Joker gets under the sheets, just like he used to when you were there, anxious to share plans and secrets with his girl but she’s not there. He whispers anyway.

“I was thinking to plan a heist in 2 months or so. What do you think? Should I go sooner? I really don’t feel like it, because I miss you…” and he brings your pillow to his chest. “I don’t feel like doing anything…”

No answer, of course.

“Daddy,” Kase stretches, half asleep, snuggling more towards his father. “Mommy says she loves you.”

“You’re just dreaming…” J extends his arm behind to hold Kase close to him, not getting pissed for once.

“She’s right there,” his son lifts his head up from the pillows, eyes almost closed, pointing towards your usual spot. “Can’t you see her?” and the little one sighs, falling asleep again.

“No, I can’t see anything, “ he answers, smelling your perfume on the fabric. J always freshens up the scent from the tiny vial you kept on the night stand.

The eyelids are getting heavy, the medicine reacting in his body.

He feels a tender pressure on his lips, just like a soft kiss.

“Hey, handsome,” he hears your voice.

“Hey pretty girl,” he mutters, waking up for a moment.

He opens his eyes, so used to dream about you and losing the connection. The Joker shifts so he can wrap his arms around Kase, almost dozing off again.

“Tell your dad I love him,” he faintly discerns. “ Honey, wake up. Tell your dad I love him.”

Kase yawns, gently shaking his father.

“Daddy…mommy says she loves you.”

“I know, I heard it,” he replies, not realizing what he’s saying. The medication is strong, makes one totally out of it. “Tell her I love her too.”

“She can hear you, dad,” his son repositions himself in his father’s arms, tired since he keeps on being woken up.

“That’s good, I want her to know…” and the last trace of consciousness is lost, enslaved by the effects of the medicine.

“She knows,” his son buries his face in J’s t-shirt, even if his dad can’t hear him anymore.“And she says she’ll always come back because she promised.”


[Surat Untuk Nona] Hai Selamat Malam

Selamat malam Nona, bagaimana kabarmu malam ini? Semoga senantiasa dibahagiakan yak.

Lama tak menulis surat untukmu secara terang-terangan di sini. Saya tidak takut bahwa saya akan tambah gila,tidak sama sekali. Tapi semakin sering saya menyapamu, semakin sadar saya bahwa berguraunya tidak lucu.

Bagaimana kau bisa benar-benar terasa ada dalam setiap pergerakan saya, ini konyol. Saya mulai takut bahwa sebentar lagi saya benar-benar gila.
Duh, kasihan sekali nanti kamunya punya seorang seperti saya.

Abaikan prolog di atas, sungguh abaikan saja, kecuali yang paling atas. Sebenarnya saya cuma enggak tahu harus menceritakan apa, makannya prolognya diada-adain, biar kita lama ngobrolnya. Biar kamu lama baca saya punya tulisan. Biar saya bisa berkhayal lebih lama bahwa kau dibuat geram oleh tulisan saya. 

Udah sih, gitu saja.

Selamat malam Nona, selamat rehat. Semoga mimpimu aku. :)

Udah kesel belum?

Ah, sudahlah, terkadang tidak harus penting materi apa yang kita perbincangkan. Kita hanya butuh waktu untuk saling menyatukan angan, menyelaraskan persepi, tanpa harus melulu memberatkan isi kepala.

Rehatlah dengan tenang, aku tidak ke mana-mana. Percayalah hati ini masih tetap nananana padamu.

Semoga esok saat kau bangun, kau dapati lagi doa-doaku menggelitik kakimu, mengajakmu untuk kembali menyusuri jalan demi jalan yang masih perlu kau lewati. Jagalah hatimu, bukan hanya karena kau yakin ada aku, tapi karena kau yakin bahwa pada setetes apapun kebaikan yang kau curahkan karena-Nya, ada berbukit-bukit kesempatan bahagia yang disediakan oleh-Nya. Tinggal bagaimana kau mau membuka tirai matamu dari gemerlap keduniawian atau tidak.

Ah, sudahlah, segitu saja, saya tak tahu harus bercerita tentang apa lagi.

Selamat malam Nona, selamat semakin memantapkan jalan. Ssssttt … jangan bilang siapa-siapa, aku nananana padamu, lagi, lagi dan lagi. ^_^