One time bitty makes maple syrup popsicles and they sit out on the reading room for an hour and a half just eating popsicles and talking. It was fun.
Once Holster climbs into bed with them. Rans loved being the middle of the human sandwich. It’s a thing that happens sometimes now.
They smooch during a celly once. It gets giffed a thousand times by lingering Zimmermann fan blogs, but mainstream hockey culture just chalks it up to Bros Being Comfortable In Their Heterosexuality™ (until they come out and everyone just goes ‘Oh’)
A couple years after graduation they wish the team a happy fourth of july from Jack’s apartment over the group chat in a video that ends up being three solid minutes of jack playing the canadian national anthem on kazoo, with rans using a tim hortons cup for background percussion
“I ship (not something you ship).”
“So I really don’t ship (your ship).”
Um…sure. Ship and let ship, I guess.
“Like, I dont know why people even ship it!”
…no need to be rude, friend.
“*openly blasting their ship out*”
Yeah, I do that too so it’s okay–
“*openly comparing their ship to your ship and concluding yours is worse*”
Hey, hold on now–
“*writing essays on why their ship is better*”
Okay, you dont need to be that rude–
“*writing essays on why your ship is bad*”
Wow, okay you’re an asshole. Block. Ignore.
“I really hate that ship its my NOTP no one should ship it!!!”
BITCH YOU WANT TO FIGHT?! C'MERE IMMA SHOVE A TOILET DOWN YOUR FACE YOU FAT MOTHERF—