squirrel kicks

Imagine this:

You’re sitting in the theater, watching Marvel’s Newest Movie, Avengers: Infinity War. There’s about a half hour left of the film. The Battle against Thanos is nearing its end, and it doesn’t look good. Everyone is damaged, broken, bloodied, on the brink of defeat. Thanos, looking unfazed and undeterred, stands tall above the battlefield. The whole audience is on the edge of their seat, anxious to know how this could possibly end with the Good Guys on top.

Then, you hear it.

Faint, in the background. The Avengers hear it, all raising their heads toward the direction of the noise. It sounds like… a thousand small feet? Scurrying? It’s getting louder and closer, and what looks like a wave of… 

Are those squirrels?

The Avengers, The Guardians, you, the audience, all lost for words. And then you see, riding the wave, is what appears to be a woman, grinning valiantly, hands on her hips, a….. Is that a tail??? and over the roar of a thousand squirrels racing toward the Cosmic Terror that is Thanos, the woman, eyes ablaze, fist forward, let’s out the joyful cry:

“LET’S GET NUTS”

observations:

  • later, when confronted with a robot dinosaur, kraven is able to determine at a single glance that it’s ultron
  • moments before these panels, kraven kicked a squirrel, only to be attacked by squirrels
  • squirrels don’t normally come back for more when kicked
  • she is wearing a squirrel tail
  • he knows what a prairie dog looks like
  • he is absolutely doing this on purpose to be a dick

listen if a dude starts quizzing you about superheros and comic book shit to see if ur a “fake nerd girl” just be like “who would win in a fight squirrel girl or (literally anyone)” bc guess what the answer is always squirrel girl she can kick anyones ass remind him squirrel girl could kick his faves ass she kicked dr dooms ass, wolverines ass even thanos got his ass kicked by squirrel girl

What she says: I’m fine

What she means: Listen how come Ashfur gets a free pass into StarClan just because he “loved too much”. Literally so many cats in the Dark Forest did things because they loved too much. Mapleshade loved her kits so much she was driven to murder when they drowned due to the cruelty of ThunderClan and her former mate. Even Tigerstar loved too much. He loved ThunderClan so much that he felt it was only right for him to make sure it was the best Clan in the forest through whatever means possible. So honestly i have no idea what Ash “i helped kill my leader once and attempted to murder 3 more cats” fur is doing up there in StarClan cause honestly the whole “he loved too much” excuse ain’t stickin anymore i hope squirrel kicks him outta there when she goes to starclan honestly

Squirrel Girl vs the Nazis in U.S.Avengers #7

That was a fun issue, despite Hydra taking over the world and all of that. Squirrel Girl got to kick Hydra’s asses, be a science dork and even meet Ares (who is part of the anti-Hydra resistance with Faiza Hussein, Guillotine, Outlaw and Captain Britain) and wonder out loud if he wasn’t supposed to be dead. All while we got set up for next issue where Toni tries to save Roberto’s life. I wish this event was more of this - punching Nazis - and less of Nick Spencer performing Hydra’s equivalent of Zeon Fanwank.

- Admin

9

Is no one else going to comment on this? In the middle of The Sword in the Stone, there is a young squirrel who has fallen in love with a human, and will never fall in love with anyone again. What on earth happened to the poor squirrel? Does she spend her days pining for a love that can never be? Does she learn to pick up the pieces of her heart and be happy without a man in her life? Is there someone who’s there to support her as she mourns a love that ARTHUR WILL PROBABLY NEVER EVEN REMEMBER? What on earth happened?!

Wolverine challenges Squirrel Girl to a sparring match. He tells her, “Show me what you got.” Squirrel Girl proceeds to kick his ass. 

From “Mighty Avengers” (2010-2012) #15.

So, imma tell y'all a secret that I’m not supposed to. Hunters keep track of how to take down everyone they know, should things go bad.
And the King of this is Cayde-6. He has a contingency plan for everyone he knows that he and Andal worked out long ago over a drink (well a drink for Andal anyways).

Zavala: “I’d fight him hand-to-hand! I’m serious!! He’d never expect it! He’s got one good punch, but if it misses it takes him longer for a second shot than the First Curse!!”

Shaxx: “I’m not one for clichés, but that sucker is getting a shotgun/melee combo. There’s no way I’m letting him finish that shoulder charge!”

Saladin: “Salamander? Pshaw, he’d be easy. He’s got a giant [retracted] axe!! Just run up and stab him, it’s gotta take like thirty seconds for salad bar to swing that thing…”

Ikora: “I’ll be honest a Warlock who can work a shotgun scares me; I’m dumping every bullet from my primary at her while backing way the [retracted] back!!”

Banshee-44: “What? Why would I kill Banshee? Fine, well, if you gotta–I’d use invis and get him from behind. Ain’t no way I’d let him get a shot off, there’s a monster hidden in those memories!”

Petra: “Oh that Awoken chick upstairs? She strikes me as a sidearm kinda gal. I’d probably just snipe her and be done with it.”

Eris: “Well she’s a Hunter, and I’m pretty sure I can take on any Hunter alive… Yes, absolutely I can kick your ass Andy! Have you seen yourself with a primary?? It’s sad. Anyways, though, for Eris all that darkness and Hive mumbo-jumbo kinda scares me, so I’d just waste a Super to get her done with.”

Andal: “Dude I wouldn’t kill you!! You owe me way too much glimmer for me to wipe you!!!…fine, if you gotta know, I’d hire some sorta [retracted] mercenary to get my money from you! What? You kidding me?! A rogue squirrel could kick your ass, dude!!”

@ask-cayde-6 @ask-eris-morn

Five collections to pick up in this massive Marvel sale!

A-FORCE Vol. 1: HYPERTIME

A-Force, re-assemble! Marvel’s newest hero Singularity has risen from the ashes of SECRET WARS and entered the All-New, All-Different Marvel Universe. But will her allies from Battleworld remember her when she tries to put the band back together? To combat the most fearsome threats from across the multiverse, Singularity summons She-Hulk, Captain Marvel, Dazzler, Medusa and Nico Minoru to her side! They’re A-Force to be reckoned with, but they’ll have their work cut out combating the villainous Antimatter! Can Earth’s mightiest heroes defeat this new threat without destroying the mystery woman who claims to be their friend? Plus: the SECRET WARS debut of A-Force, and a classic tale of Marvel’s first female super team, the Lady Liberators! Collects A-Force #1-4, Avengers (1963) #83, A-Force (2015) #1 and material from Avengers (2015) #0.

MOON GIRL AND DEVIL DINOSAUR Vol. 1: BFF

Lunella Lafayette is a preteen genius who wants to change the world, but lives in fear of the Inhuman genes inside her! Now, Lunella’s life is turned upside down when a red-scaled beast is teleported from the prehistoric past to a far-flung future we call…today! Together they’re the most Marvelous Team-Up of all — Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur! But will they be BFFs forever, or just until DD’s dinner time? And Lunella soon learns that there are other problems with having a titanic T-Rex as a pet in the modern-day Marvel Universe. School, for one. Monster hunters are another — especially when they’re the Totally Awesome Hulk! Then there’s the fact that everyone’s favorite dino didn’t journey through time alone. Beware the prehistoric savages known as the Killer-Folk — New York City’s deadliest tourists! Collects Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur #1-6.

SQUIRREL GIRL BEATS UP THE MARVEL UNIVERSE!

Proof that we’re living in the best of all possible worlds: Marvel is publishing a Squirrel Girl graphic novel! It’s a standalone adventure that’s great for both old fans and new readers! It’s a story so huge it demanded an original graphic novel! It’s a story so nuts it incorporates both senses of that word (insanity and squirrel food)! And it’s the best! Squirrel Girl kicks butts, eats nuts, talks to squirrels and also punches really well. She has defeated Thanos, Galactus and Doctor Doom (twice!). But now she’ll encounter her most dangerous, most powerful, most unbeatable enemy yet: herself! Specifically, an evil duplicate made possible through mad science (both computer and regular) as well as some bad decisions. In other words, Squirrel Girl beats up the Marvel Universe! YES!

MS MARVEl Vol.1: NO NORMAL

Marvel Comics presents the all-new Ms. Marvel, the groundbreaking heroine that has become an international sensation! Kamala Khan is an ordinary girl from Jersey City - until she is suddenly empowered with extraordinary gifts. But who truly is the all-new Ms. Marvel? Teenager? Muslim? Inhuman? Find out as she takes the Marvel Universe by storm! As Kamala discovers the dangers of her newfound powers, she unlocks a secret behind them as well. Is Kamala ready to wield these immense new gifts? Or will the weight of the legacy before her be too much to handle? Kamala has no idea either. But she’s comin’ for you, New York! Collects Ms. Marvel (2014) #1-5, All-New Marvel Now! Point One (Ms. Marvel story).

PATSY WALKER AKA HELLCAT Vol. 1: HOOKED ON A FELINE

Patsy Walker has managed to escape her past, her enemies and Hell itself (literally) — but nothing compares to job hunting in New York City! Between trying to make rent and dodging bullets, she barely has time to deal with her mother’s exploitative romance comics about Patsy’s past resurfacing, much less how they start to interfere with her work and dating life. As she goes from living a double life to living a triple one, what the Hell is Patsy supposed to do? There’ll be burgers, monsters and rent checks; old friends like Howard the Duck and Valkyrie; and a ghost from the past with questionable motives! Comics’ most flexible heroine has been a provisional Avenger, a Defender, Satan’s daughter-in-law and a dead woman — but she’s never been anything like this! Collects Patsy Walker, A.K.A. Hellcat! (2015) #1-6.

The Signs As Phil Lester’s Tweets

Aries: My taxi driver pulled over at a pub as he had to pee! The meter is running! Am I paying for his pee break?!  

Taurus: I just witnessed a squirrel kick another squirrel out of a tree! SQUIRREL KOMBAT  

Gemini: Can I have extra gluten please? Give me all of that juicy gluten

Cancer: I knocked my entire box of bath bombs into the bath so I just had the most intense bath ever. It was like a smelly glittery volcano

Leo: BACK IN LONDON! The house is freezing! A polar bear would catch a cold in here. *sets everything on fire*

Virgo: Happy #houseplantappreciationday *licks all my cacti*  

Libra: Offended by the lack of pancake emoji how pancakeist  

Scorpio: My salted caramel coffee tastes like a salted salt saltee

Sagittarius: ALWAYS CHECK FOR CACTI WHEN WARMING YOUR BUTT ON A RADIATOR  that was almost a disaster

Capricorn: Just sent an important email and realized my phone autocorrected ‘Phil’ to 'Oil me’.

Aquarius: I got a face wash from lush and it has actual pieces of popcorn in it?! Am I meant to eat them while I wash my face?

Pisces: Tried to get an early night and woke up an hour later with a moth crawling on my lip. THANKS WORLD

Daryl Dixon x Reader - A Bag Full of Rats

Daryl x Reader- A Bag Full of Rats

This is shameless fluff, set in season one, at the camp outside Atlanta. Warning for mild bad language. Please request on my page if you have any preferences you want! (Sorry for any spelling mistakes in this, I wrote the majority at 11:00 at night when I couldn’t sleep, but I did proof read it, so sorry if I left any mistakes in).

*****

“I ain’t got nothing to do with that.”

Daryl was being purposefully elusive. Some might say that he was doing it just to wind you up. Either way, the dead squirrel that lay just outside your tent spoke volumes when it came to his ‘gifts.’ Though he wouldn’t admit he left it there, of course. That would be spoiling the fun.

Sighing, exasperated with his cocky smirk, you put your hands on your hips and looked him the eye, staring him down. This only made his smile widen.

“Look, Dixon,” you began with a spear edged tone, “I can’t have decomposing animals laying like sunbathers outside my tent, left to rot every other night. They look like the sales clerks do after Black Friday: traumatised, and-”

“Well, they’re not exactly just traumatised,” he interrupted, raising an eyebrow and leaning back, talking down to you, “they’re dead-”

“Yes I know that Dixon!” You stomped your foot and ruffled your hair, looking up to the sky, as if to ask it: 'any help here?’ You had a bad enough day as it was. Firstly, you had to go foraging with Shane, who constantly lectured you about gun safety and how it was better to use a knife, just because you were a couple of years younger than him.

And there was that time you shot him in the foot when you first came to camp, but you won’t mention that, considering you were trying to get the argument in your favour.

Then, you had to stand around awkwardly as you collected water from a nearby stream next to Morales and his wife, whilst they flirted with each other instead of doing the job they were meant to be doing. Really, you could’ve gone on to Daryl about how your day had been shit, and how you didn’t want to talk, and then you could’ve thrown the squirrel in his face, ( and you really REALLY wanted to), but you decided against your gut.

Figuring you would try against your character, you decided to continue talking, no matter how much anguish was ensured.

“Please stop leaving dead animals outside my tent before I go to sleep,” you were practically begging, but he decided to mock you, and over dramatically made 'a talk to the hand’ gesture.

“And how do you know it’s me?” His stress on the 'how’ made you want to punch him. Or shoot him in the foot. Or kiss him. You were still deciding.

“Use your eyes, Rat Bag!” Steaming, you pointed to the dead creature at your feet, making him chuckle, “there is an entry point for an arrow head in the eye! Who else would it be?!”

“Woah, Rat Bag? A little harsh don’t you think?” His eyes met yours in mock hurt, making you stifle a laugh yourself, which usually didn’t happen.

“Well,” you started, “I think it’s fair considering you carry around a bag full of rats and other game most of the time, Rat Bag.”

“Hardly ever rats, Y/N.” Daryl moved in slightly closer, and your gut told you to step back. You told your gut to piss off, “just, various small animals.”

“Like squirrels?” You added dryly. He shrugged, moving closer.

“Maybe.”

“Are they ever cooked?” You asked almost hopefully.

“Only when they fall into a fire after they’re shot.” Closer.

“Ah, charming Rat Bag.” You scuff the ground, nearly kicking the squirrel in front of you.

“If I’m Rat Bag, then you must be Foot Bullet.”

“That’s terrible.”

“Well, so’s Rat Bag.” He brushed a strand of unruly hair out of your E/C eyes. Usually, you would’ve punched him. Now, you were 50/50 between kissing him or punching him. Okay, 60/40. 70/30. 80/20. Whatever.

Smiling crudely, he leant down and whispered in your ear:

“I know you love me really.” A scarlet river raced up through your skin, but your feet remained stock still.

“And how do you know that?” You whispered back.

“Because you haven’t put a bullet in my foot and I’m close enough to kiss you, Foot Bullet.”

“So why don’t you, Rat Bag?” This was barely a sigh from your lips, and you weren’t sure if he heard you or not.

All you know for sure is, that night, outside your tent, in a world where the dead walked, you were 100% kissing Daryl Dixon over the carcass of a dead squirrel. And it was awesome.

3

12/12 genderbent trolls did u all see that bc i will not be doing it again

i like how u can tell where i just gave up and which ones i drew first bc FUCK consistent art styles hahaha i have no consistency /lies down

(pssst which one is ur fave??)

I thought a fun thing to do this Christmas Eve morning would be to go over the first issue (the first first issue) of Squirrel Girl this year, and give you a Writer’s Commentary of it: behind-the-scenes information on where things came from, how they ended up as they did, etc.  So let’s start!  If you go grab a copy of Squirrel Girl #1 you’ll follow this a lot better, but I tried to provide context if you don’t keep it beside you at all times. :0


PAGE ONE

SG singing her own theme song was part of my original pitch – I had the idea while repeating her name in my head, and found how quickly thinking “Hmm… Squirrel Girl… Squirrel Girl…” can easily segue into the first lines of her theme song.  I like putting music into comics and that’s tricky!  But here it worked really well because the Spider-Man theme is a song that most everyone knows, AND it’s a song that has a structure wherein you can identify the song by its lyrics and rhythm.  It’s basically an ideal candidate for something like this!


PAGE TWO

The theme song was slightly updated in every draft to make it EVEN BETTER, but the first few verses never changed.  Later on though, in my first version we don’t have “who’s her friend? / don’t you know / that’s the squirrel Tippy-Toe” but instead have “Can she talk to a squirrel? / Well, her name’s Squirrel Girl!”.  This was dropped because we’d hit the “she can talk to squirrels” note already, and Tippy is awesome! 

This may reveal too many “I’m not the smartest man” secrets, but it was very late along that I realized “hey wait a minute, SG singing her theme song also works as a unique, fun and very efficient introduction to this character, her abilities, her personality, and the tone of this book” instead of just “I think a theme song would be fun so I’ma write a theme song”.

Dan Slott (writer of many previous SG adventures!) got sent an early proof of the comic and suggested a few alterations to the lyrics, and IIRC he suggested changing my “All the powers of the squirrel!” to “Powers of both squirrel and girl” which I COMPLETELY LOVED and use all the time now.  Thanks Dan!


PAGE THREE

The character heads with bios used to be a thing in vintage comics and I always loved them, but my inspiration for it here was actually my friend Joey Comeau’s work on the Bravest Warriors series.  He did it in his first issue, and then his second issue, and I was like “Joey you can’t do this every issue” and he was like “Why not?  I’ll make up different stories for them each time” and I was like “um actually that’s a great idea and I’m gonna do that too”.  How long can it last?  WHO CAN SAY??


PAGE FOUR

The SG / Tippy exchange of “Who doesn’t like you?” “I dunno… jerks, I guess?” originally had a part afterwards where SG told Tippy not to tell anyone about her secret identity, Tippy said “I only talk to other squirrels anyway, so we’re cool” and SG checked herself out in the mirror and said “Man… we ARE cool”.  I dropped this because a) come ON, Squirrel Girl, slow your roll b)  we were already hitting those notes in a much more satisfying way elsewhere on this very page!  I said it in my somewhat-detailed review of “Steven Spielberg Presents: Back To The Future: A Robert Zemeckis Film: The Novel by George Gipe based on a screenplay by Robert Zemeckis and Bob Gale” but it remains true: first drafts are where you get all your ideas down, and second drafts are where you make sure those ideas are Actually Good.


PAGE FIVE

This page didn’t change at all from the very first draft, but I remember adding in the “casually stop a mugging with an acorn earring” bit because otherwise it would just be SG and Tippy walking and talking, and it showed up what I love about SG: her ubercompetency.  She’s just SO GOOD at being Squirrel Girl.


PAGE SIX AND SEVEN

Again, no changes from the first draft!  Tomas was always intended to be Chipmunk Hunk, but I thought it’d be fun for these people to meet without knowing they both have powers first.  SG first realizes what’s going on in Issue 6!


PAGE EIGHT AND NINE

Nancy was originally inspired by my friend Lucie, and that “there are three things you can do to get me to hate you” line that she leads with – and that so defines her character for me – is something Lucie actually said to me once.  Lucie also has a cat named Mew.  Apparently the secret to writing is just to have interesting friends.  

Don’t tell anyone.


PAGE TEN

SG’s Deadpool cards! I swear that originally it was just intended as fun little callback (in an older appearance she referenced having Iron Man Battle Series Vs Cards, but you couldn’t read them), but later on I realize, hey wait a second, these cards actually function as The Most Efficient Backstory Exposition Device Ever In Time.  One panel and everyone knows who Kraven is, what he wants, where he comes from, and what his deal is, because the cards tell you exactly that!  I wanted the comic to be accessible to new readers, and these cards do that with peak efficiency.  Thanks, Deadpool cards!


PAGE ELEVEN

EMBARRASSING STORY: my first draft for this book was 22 pages long, when it was only supposed to be 20!  So I am a big dummy.  As part of fixing that mistake, the SG / Kraven fight got condensed from two pages down to one.  Originally, DOREEN ran to confront Kraven while pulling out the Deadpool card, got mad at him, said “I’ll be right back”, ran to the bathroom to change, and then SG came out to fight him. Needlessly convoluted, and easily condensed down to a single page by just having Doreen change into SG at the start!  All that was lost was a conversation between SG and Kraven over what the word “hirsute” means (it means hairy, it was no great loss).


PAGE TWELVE – THIRTEEN

Erica drew the heck out of this fight scene, and I love that later when people were like “oh wow, you drew Kraven sexy, I love that” she was like “oh I always thought he was supposed to be sexy”.  HE’S PRETTY SEXY, NOT GONNA LIE.


PAGE FOURTEEN – FIFTEEN

SG needing a moment to figure out how to beat him mirrored my writing process here.  In the first draft, she just throws him up, realizes what to do, catches him, and solves the problem.  It worked okay, but after cutting out some material elsewhere, we were able to draw SG imagining other ways she could defeat him, which ended up being one of my favourite parts of this issue.  Yay editing!  And Erica drew it just beautifully - the panel of SG thinking surrounded by squirrels is still one of my favourites - and Rico brought amazing colours to the “what if” sequence.

The “stuff squirrels down his pants” idea was how she was going to beat him way back in my pitch, before my editor Wil was like “I always saw SG as being someone who’s good at solving people’s problems” and I was like “Um holy crap you have just encapsulated SG perfectly”.


PAGE SIXTEEN – SEVENTEEN

This reveals this whole conflict happened because Kraven angrily kicked a squirrel while musing about his current fate, which I thought was fun.  My original idea was “Kraven is tired of losing and so starts re-training himself in hunting, starting with the smallest animals and working his way up to the top”, which would have had him actually hunting squirrels on ESU campus.  That seemed a bit like gilding the lily, and him just angrily kicking a squirrel is so ludicrous that I liked it better.


PAGE EIGHTEEN

This page got compressed in a later draft too (there were six in total, not counting the one I marked “FINAL – not final”, but all we really lost was a beat where Nancy said she was okay with Tippy living with them if Mew was too.  I think it’s reasonable that Nancy wouldn’t allow it if Mew didn’t like it, but decided it was SO reasonable that Nancy didn’t have to say it, and we’d just make it clear that Mew and Tippy got along fine.


PAGE NINETEEN – TWENTY

In the first draft TT and SG had this “Galactus is coming” conversation in front of Nancy, but Nancy couldn’t understand Tippy’s parts and so just assumed SG was talking to her pet squirrel the way she talks to Mew.  That seemed to imply Nancy wasn’t as clever and good at seeing through people’s crap as she CLEARLY IS, so I rewrote it to what we have now: Tippy leaps onto SG’s face and stays there until SG excuses herself to go to the bathroom to talk out of earshot, which was way better.  

The last “Galactus is coming” cliffhanger ended up being a single panel, but we tried SO MANY THINGS before that, each with their own page.  First it was Galactus flying to Earth in space.  Then on his ship (where he was looking at different planets, including an lava one (too hot) and ice one (too cold) and Earth (just right).  Then he was on his ship talking to weird robots called “Punishers” that hadn’t been seen since the sixties.  Anyway they were all silly and undercut his threat, and the single panel works way better!  And I’m really glad we did it, because if we went with the “Galactus choosing Earth because of its temperature” than the big reveal about Galactus’s REAL motivations around coming to Earth in issue 4 wouldn’t work.

And that’s the issue!  Now you are familiar with the way worse version of this comic that could’ve been, if only we’d all stopped working on it part-way through.  I hope you enjoyed it!

Our first issue is out today!!  You can get Unbeatable Squirrel Girl at your local comic book store, you can download a digital copy RIGHT NOW, and/or you can get them in the mail!  DID YOU KNOW: the more copies we sell (whether physical or digital), the better chance we have of getting to make this comic forever and ever??

And on the off chance you don’t want to risk getting this book without some non-me people telling you they think the book is PRETTY OKAY, I have some good news!  Here’s a…

REVIEW ROUNDUP

COMICOSITY:

One word: adorbs.

OK, I’ll throw in a few more words. How about super-fun? Or unexpected? Or laugh-out-loud funny?

Some of those are compounds.

COMIC VINE:

Expectations were pretty high for this first issue but THE UNBEATABLE SQUIRREL GIRL exceeds them. North, Henderson, and Renzi have put together something that appeals to both young and old that is an incredible amount of fun, featuring a great, stand-out star…

THE BEAT:

…fun is no longer such a terrible word.The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl is a product of this shift, something steadfast and confident in its construction and delivery, an unapologetic take on the pyjama drama as a source of unfettered joy. 

CBR:

There are few “perfect issues” in a year of comics and yet here I am, first week of January writing about another one… There is not one missed or false note, it’s a totally cohesive vision. Everyone creating this book knows exactly what they want it to be and exactly how to get it there.

COMICBOOK.COM

…one of the most fun debuts published by Marvel Comics in a very long time. If you’re looking for a comic that you can share with anyone or that will cheer you up after a major bummer of a day, this is it. At the end of The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl #1 there is only one question worth asking: When does #2 come out?

I hope you enjoy the book!  Next month even crazier things happen.  UNTIL THEN I PROPOSE WE ALL:

  1. EAT NUTS
  2. KICK BUTTS