Greetings people. I identify as a Black female who was born and raised in NYC. I am slowly progressing through my study of education and history in college. Other then that, I spend (probably) an unhealthy amount of time reading and writing sci fi and fantasy. But by high school, I got sick and tired of the same story featuring blonds and brunettes saving the day with their straight, lean male heroes so I turned to my librarian seeking something new. She pointed to Octavia Butler and the rest was history. I’ve been seeking diversity in media ever since.
Family life and Culture
I grew as the middle child of six siblings with my single mother and grandparents. Yes, my working-class household fits the stereotype. We even have an absent father *sighs* But, hey shit happens. And with the biological father turns out not to be the best father figure, shit had to go right out the door. Yup. But make no mistake that this is a norm. Most households on my block do have both parents involved in their children’s lives. Our circumstances called for us to have one. That’s all.
The house was full, loud and rambunctious. We made up a good portion of the children on the block (unsurprising) and basically ran it. There’s a whole novel that could be fleshed out of my childhood if I wanted to. Our neighborhood is very tight knit. Next door neighbors were treated like Aunts and Uncles. When summer came around, we were sometimes divided into groups as the parents who were off from work overlooked us while braiding our heads. Blackouts became an all night bbq and sleepover on each other’s porches. Crooklyn by Spike Lee was a good representation of what it was like in fact. Somewhat. Minus the brownstones, plus a couple more fights (lol).
My grandma was a nurse who’s pretty big on us knowing our family history. She made sure to talk a lot about our Gullah Geechee roots. We also had some Dominican culture influence since her closest friend and our Madrina was, well, Dominican. But she is fairly strict on gender norms and how my sisters and I should act especially with brothers. She antagonized me the most growing up because I continued to ignore this. We don’t get along but i can’t say i don’t get why she’s the way she is. She has a pretty dark past. My mother, a latchkey kid of the finest stock, is more laid back and gives all of us free range to make our own mistakes. Most times. Other times, she’d rather lecture us. Depends on our crime.
I don’t know what my grandpa used to do. He retired waaaaay before my grandmother. I also don’t know much about his culture. He’s 1st gen Jamaican who fully assimilated into American culture. Well, beside his food choices. Now, he gambles and goes to church. When I was younger, he used to teach us how to gamble too. And how to cheat and not get caught. We got a lot of free fast food while he taught us. He has gotten more frugal the older he got. And more isolated.
Dating and Relationships.
I don’t date. I have no interest. Well, no, that’s not exactly true. I’ve considered it but I rather have not seek out anything outside of platonic right now. I have a tight knit circle of friends and several other groups of friends I associate with depending on the activity. I’m realizing it seems like I’m using the term “friends” loosely but I swear I’m not. I’m a virgin and I feel nothing about being one until someone goes “*gasp* You’re a virgin really?” and then I end up on high defense saying “So?” Believe or not, that messed with me a lot.
My love life and lack of interest in having one has always been a struggle. In middle school, the group of friends I hung with were becoming more infatuated with love and sex. Yes, middle school, fifth through eighth grade, ages nine to thirteen. But, when they would talked about who’s hot or not, they would look at me funny when I didn’t join in the discussion. Instead of explaining myself, I simply copied other’s reactions and gushed along with them. This instinct followed me through High school til stopped out of annoyance. I became a listener and adviser in their relationships because I really do love stories in many shapes and forms. And I would never turn down hearing a story.
My primary language is English and AAVE. I’ve been living in a neighborhood filled with Blacks and Latinx. Most of my friends are Black and Lantinx. I didn’t meet a white person my age until college. Okay that’s a partial lie. I’ve been in a summer camp that was made up of predominantly white children. But as the only black kid in my age range, I was sorta uncomfortable. I never made lasting friends there. After High School, I spent a year abroad in Tena, Ecuador where I learned Spanish and Kichwa. I still suck at both languages.
Lots of my clothes when I was younger were borrowed or hand-me-downs. Half of them still are. It’s like thrift shopping without the hiked prices thanks to its popularity by rich white people (Thanks rich white people!) All my siblings’ taste varies. In my case, I’m fond of combining loose and tight clothing (tight jeans and a loose sweater/ baggy jeans and a tight top). No makeup. Silver accessories.
I used to have a short bob cut permed. I hated it. But I rather a perm then getting my hair straightened with a hot comb because the back of my neck and big ears would always get burned. It wasn’t until I made a friend with a natural afro that I realized my natural hair was even an option.
Lol I was a nerd with bad grades.
My family practices Santeria, which has historical roots in both Catholicism and Yoruba thanks to slavery (Yay slavery!). However, because the religion is not fully accepted or well-known, I tend to say I’m simply Catholic if asked. Apparently, a Black Catholic is hard to believe. It is assumed all Black folks are Baptists or some branch of Christianity. I have no idea where that stereotype came from. But I can give some guess. (*cough cough* Tyler Perry….).
As I stated before, I love scifi and fantasy. I especially love urban fantasy involving witches. I blame this love on Practical Magic and Eve’s Bayou, my childhood faves. It’s because of this love that I wish to see more stories with witches of color. And no, I don’t mean that one evil/mysterious southern/Caribbean Voodoo/Hoodoo witch hollywood loves to portray so much. That always plays into the “Black is evil” trope. Give me some damn variety!
I would squeal so hard if the mythology involved in a story isn’t even Eurocentric. I’m not joking. This is serious. When my religion was simply hinted at in the Raven Boys series (It was also a great way of making even more obvious that the character was definitely not white.) and Kenya Wright’s Habitat series, I squealed. All the authors did was write the names of some of the Orishas and I couldn’t help but put my phone down for a moment and inwardly scream with glee. That being said, if a writer does decide to use afrocentric or any religion involving “witchcraft” as a basis, I would personally ask that they make sure is is not a closed religion.
Santeria is, in fact, a closed religion. And while I don’t mind mentions of it in fantasy and even a main character stating they practice it, do not go any further than that. Don’t even research the practices within the religion other than what is public knowledge (And if you don’t have any public knowledge, just ask) Respect that there’s a limit. Anything further spelunking is consider rude, disgusting, disrespectful and dangerous. There’s things that I don’t even know because I haven’t been properly initiated. And the internet has a lot of these practices exposed when it shouldn’t be so please don’t look into it. Please.
Most of the cooking in the house has been done by my grandmother. Because of her various relationships, our food has always been a mixture of Black American, Gullah, Lantinx and Caribbean influences. It is so good. So, so good!
The only thing I don’t eat of hers is her seafood gumbo because I don’t like shellfish. One of my sisters said I should have my “black card” taken for my distaste. I said she could take it if she can name more black movies than me. She still can’t take it. My other sister wishes we could switch places because she loves crab but is allergic. The crazy girl actually sends her husband to buy some benadryl so she can eat some if we ever have some on the table. Smh. Siblings.
My family on both sides are quite fond of reunions. On my grandpa’s side, the family uses Fourth of July and Christmas to get together. On my grandma’s side, they tend to host annual summer reunion and send out RSVP invitations complete with schedules of the whole two to three day event. I didn’t mention this under my family life, but both sides of my family are boujee to different degrees. Lots of black sorors and frats members on both sides. I can’t believe that slipped my mind typing.
I’m a little iffy with Christmas. It’s more of a holiday for the older generation and our niece and nephews. The younger generation, however, don’t particularly care for the holiday. For some of us, it’s because it’s not really Jesus’s Birthday and Santa was whitewashed. For others, it’s because we don’t care to feed into the corporate holiday. For most of us, it’s a combination of the two. But we do love getting together when we can. My older sister and I have conspired to celebrate kwanzaa instead for the past two years. So far, it hasn’t grasped the interest of anyone else in the family.
Being nerds from a young age, my siblings and I have been called “Oreos” or“Not really black” by kids in school on more than one occasion. We shut them down by fighting. Probably not the best strategy but it was best one I could think of in middle school and below. Made it easier to go back to reading my manga.
I got compared to my sisters a lot. It was the absolutely most annoying thing ever. And a major source of my insecurities growing older.
Need I address colorism? My highschool was filled with it. #TeamLight v #TeamDark. I was on neither team, because in the region I live, skin color was a pretty long spectrum. I fell in the between. Who came up with this?
I’ll admit it. I hate my own tears. They make me feel weak. Which isn’t true…I know. But, it is a mentality I always had. I have depression and PTSD. This isn’t really a secret. I tell people if I’m asked. But have you ever had someone look at you and say, “Really? You don’t seem like the type.” ……
I am a black female. I’ve been labelled “Strong” and “Independent” the older I got. By my mother. By my siblings. By my peers. And I get those labels. Even from friends. I loved those labels. I call myself by those labels. I mean, who doesn’t want to be seen as strong and independent? Those are positive affirmations, right? I think they would be. If that wasn’t all the positive labels we could get. Somehow, society has decided we are beings that are incapable of being multifaceted. I was indirectly taught to hate my own tears because black girls don’t cry. You can’t cry and be strong. What a terrible mantra fed to black girl at a young age. So, instead you tell everyone “It’s fine.”
I told my therapist it was fine. Until she told me straight up it was not fine. And it was okay to cry. I don’t like to cry. But I still (involuntarily) did it.
Things I’d like to see less of/Things I’d like to see more of:
I’m sick and tired of seeing black and latinx folks being portrayed as only fantasy gangs members. We are not only gang members. That’s a terrible popular myth the media put out there and I hate it even more so when it’s portrayed in SFF genre..
I’m tired of having one black person in a novel being described as having skin the color of “midnight.” And he’s (it’s always a he) not even that important to the story
I hate how every time someone decides to add a person of color, they have to be ambiguous brown. I’m not saying ambiguously brown don’t exist and don’t need representation but is it really that had for a dark brown skin person to play a major role in a story that’s not about slavery? Speaking of which….
Why we always gotta be slaves? Or better yet….
Why don’t we exist at all in High fantasy stories? Urban fantasy? Brooklyn wasn’t always the gentrified white town it is now. Still isn’t. How are you erasing people of color from NYC??? We make up way too much of the population to be completely erased
Stop racial coding other creatures to surround your white human characters. Especially as the bad guys. That’s just shitty writing. Step up your game!
I love Black love
I love Gay love. I wish more would follow moonlight’s example and show poc are gay too and gay doesn’t always equal to stereotypical femininity.
I love interracial love HOWEVER, can we pair people of color with other people of color as well? I’m starting to hate seeing it always a white person paired with a Poc. Variety damnit!
Friendships between boys and girls that don’t transform into love.
Friendships between girls that didn’t start out as a rivalry.
Different body types besides the skinny and tall. Make a main character that’s fat for once. It’s not a problem.
Magical characters of color that aren’t “Noble Savages” or “Wise Monks” that used their magic for personal gain for once instead of waiting for the white hero to come.
Nerdy black characters who aren’t 100% competent and cries. One that isn’t in a five token band that always gonna be compare to the white main character. Make the nerd the main character!
That’s all I can think of at the top of my head. But my list really does go on.
She was sick of losing people, having them ripped from her grasp. She was sick of being protected. She was sick of all of the fighting. She hated fighting. But she could no longer stand by. She would fight at Fen’harel’s side and when - not if, when - they survived this…she would finally ask to have her vallaslin removed.
“His precious vhenan, so at peace when she sleeps. She deserves more peace. But not truly his vhenan, not yet, hasn’t had an opportunity to try for so many long years.”
Have I mentioned before how amazing @hansaera is? Look at this gorgeous piece of artwork. I finally have my two lovers in the same artwork and I could not be happier!! The vallaslin floating off of Aravae’s face, her fierce expression, their hands swathed in magic, Solas, in @hansaera‘s style of him as Fen’harel, stealing a glance at the woman he loves, but thought he could never have…
When I got it, it literally stole my breath away and now I can’t stop staring at it. I love it to pieces. Thank you so much for all of your hard work, Saera!
And now, for titles we thought of naming this piece:
Solas and his “We’re in this together aayyy” expression.
Solas thinking, “Ohhh, the woman I love is right beside me, she’s right there, she looks so beautiful, but don’t let her catch you looking, but I can look for just a second, man she’s such a pretty vhenan- SOLAS STOP IT SHE ISN’T YOUR VHENAN…yet.”
Also Solas thinking, “Omg look at that face she looks like my next mistake.”
Aravae is like, “I’ma kick Falon’din’s ASS” and Solas is like, “Yeahhh you go fabulous giiirl”
“We’re gonna fuck shit up.” “You said it, sista.”
“I’m gonna electrocute Falon’din to dust.” “Do that gurl just don’t zap me (get your hand away from me pls)”
Yet Solas’ face says, “Girl you can shock me ANYTIME.”
Imagine: Klaus is overwhelmed with everything that is happening on his life, so he leaves you all alone to work some stuff out. Then, when he comes back, he finds you playing with yourself and decides to punish you in the best way he knows.
Word Count: 2144
A/N: may be the dirtiest thing I’ve ever written, so I hope you enjoy it. :)
Since I’ll be off to visit my sis for about a week now and then will be busy with an internship for the following 6 weeks, I’ll probably not be able to post much during that time. So I decided to assemble a nice, mostly fluffy collection of b99 stories centered around Jake and Amy I very much enjoy :)
Canon (or canon-divergent or possible-future fic… just non-AU ;) :
Enigmatic Easter Bunny by huffellepuff (“The Nine-Nine does a Secret Santa of sorts, and Jake gets Amy.Takes place very shortly before 2x21, Det. Dave Majors.”
This is so sweet!)
Untitled Prompt 1 by @elsaclack (”What if Amy and Teddy got engaged during Jake’s undercover op and when Jake’s back the wedding preparations are in full swing and he tries to be supportive but can’t bring himself to go to the wedding?“It’s by em, so of course it’s friggin’ amazing, duh! ;)
Untitled Prompt 2 by @elsaclack (”The night of Captain Latvia, Jake talks to Amy about his thoughts on what Boyle said about Jake never becoming a dad.”
Aaah, I love this one so much! So great!)
Untitled Prompt 3by @elsaclack (Amy finds Jake’s folder about her Dad while he’s still in prison. It’s… so… great? And the ending is super sweet!)
Untitled Prompt 4 by @elsaclack (Jake moves in with Amy and Amy finds a box with his mixtapes… one of them labeled with the date he went into witness protection. Good lord, this is so amazing! Just… amazing.)
Oxford Commaby grapefruity (”She’s got a system, and it isn’t going to come to a standstill just
because her messy, disorganized, wreck of a partner makes her sometimes feel things.”
The evolution of Jake and Amy’s relationship
from Amy’s perspective. Really, really great! I also really love the description of their first encounter - heelies are involved; it’s amazing ^^)
Untitled Prompt by @hotelsweet(”Random
girl at bar starts flirting with Jake, Jake is clueless and it all goes
right over his head, Amy steps in and gets her to back off”
Do I really need to say more? It’s glorious. ^^)
you’re a sky full of stars by @oceanvirus (”Jake discovers Amy’s secret stargazing spot, but he can’t seem to focus
on constellations as much as he can focus on the one excitedly pointing
Takes place between Boyle-Linetti Wedding and Det. Dave Majors.” So. Friggin’. Cute.)
all the way home i’ll be warm by @the-pontiac-bandit (“We’re in an abandoned lodge in the middle of nowhere. Sure, you’re totally right, nothing bad could ever happen here.” Cute Christmas fic with all the Santiagos and Jake. Sooo adorable! Get ready for pure joy!)
breaking the first rule by @heart-eyes-santiago(“When did Jake Peralta fall in love with Amy Santiago? And when did she fall in love with him?”
Soo good! Really sweet insights on Jake and Amy’s thoughts throughout the show. Complete. 4 Chapters.)
and all my world is losing light by @jakelovesamy(“Day one is listening to Captain Holt telling them not
to give up hope, but then overhearing him calling Karen, and telling her
in a quiet voice that her son has been sentenced to 15 years, telling
her not to cry. Day one is spent filled with fear, and tears, and she
punches a wall in their bedroom (because it is still theirs) so hard
that the skin on her knuckles splits open. Day one is a cold side of the
bed and a thick silence filling up the space where Jake used to be. Day
one is overwhelming, plain and simple.” Amy finds out she’s pregnant after the end of S4. Get ready for an emotional rollercoaster of awesomeness! Incredibly good. Complete. 2 Chapters.)
it’s only me who wants to wrap around your dreams by @oceanvirus (”In which Jake Peralta showing up at Amy Santiago’s door in the middle of
the night in need of a place to stay is simultaneously the best and
worst thing that’s ever to happened to them.” temporary roomates… Oh yeah! Excited for more! In-Progress. 1/6 Chapters as of yet.)
Nothing’s Normal in Texas by @okayokaycoolcoolcool(”She started feeling something in Texas. Maybe it was the mind-numbing fear that came with being locked in
jail unarmed with murderers. She probably could’ve blamed how annoyed
she was at Jake and his tendency to jump in and make her job harder. Although, now that she thought of it, it was probably just the fake
pregnancy that was making her mind funny. It was probably nothing.” Or was it?! ;) Very cool. Complete. 8 Chapters.)
What to Expect by @three-drink-amy (”After a crazy night together, Amy finds herself pregnant with Jake’s
baby. They have to learn to be parents while navigating their
partnership. Set in season 2.” Really interesting
read! In-Progress. 9 Chapters so far.)
you, me, and the moon by @heart-eyes-santiago(“Amy Santiago’s whole world is turned upside when her brother, Manny,
invites his best friend and college roommate to stay for the summer.
Enter Jake Peralta, his inability to win a game of scrabble, and his
ability to win Amy’s heart.”
if you want me to stay, i will stay by your side by @elsaclack(“For someone whose job requires an unusually large
amount of personal risk on a near daily basis, Amy Santiago has not
dedicated much time considering how she might one day die. The vague
assumption that it will probably happen on the job - via stray bullets
or careening cars or massive explosions - has been enough to satisfy any
musing.She never imagined doctor’s visits or specialist consultations or
diagnoses. She never imagined hospital gowns and thinning hair and
chemotherapy. And she never, ever imagined cancer.“ 50/50 AU.The Ultimate Angst fic, but it’s amazing! (Better have some tissues ready, though.) In-Progress. 6/11 Chapters as of yet.)
Amy and Jake’s Epic Detour by @hotelsweet(”When 18 yr old Amy Santiago needs to make the trip to New York City for
her first year of college, family friend Jake Peralta steps in as a
favour- but the week that’s about to follow is one that neither of them
could have predicted.” THIS. This story is an experience, my friend, and you really should read this because it’s amazing and has an awesome playlist for every chapter
and is just AMAZING, okay? Okay. Complete. 10 Chapters.)
everything is easier when you’re homeby @sergeant-santiago(”Amy Santiago loves her new apartment. One bedroom, one bathroom, good
neighborhood and decent rent. One thing she does not love? Her
neighbors. More precisely, whoever lives in the apartment that shares a
paper thin wall with hers.” Neighbor AU. Awesome! In-Progress. 4 Chapters so far.)
Camps Safe and Amusing by Talking_Bird (”Amy Santiago was NOT excited to be a camp counselor for a bunch of
bratty twelve-year-olds, but she was even less excited to have a jerk
like Jake Peralta be her group partner. A fluffy, slow-burn fic with
awkward, nerdy Amy and cocky, insensitive Jake.“ Really cool and sweet, it has an awesome bet and everything!
Complete. 8 Chapters.)
You’re the Only Song I Want to Hearby Talking_Bird (”Amy is having a really hard time adjusting to college
life as an Art Major, but a mysterious pianist in the music conservatory
keeps her sane // Jake just wants to do what he loves, but everyone
else wants him to be practical. Everyone, that is, except for one
person…College AU.” Highly recommended because it’s stupid good. Really. Plus, there is a great piano piece to go with each chapter. Complete. 10 Chapters. )
The Detective and The Squad by @three-drink-amy (”Amy Santiago is a brilliant detective, quickly burning out on her job.
Jake Peralta is a famous actor recently relocated to NYC for his new TV
show “The Squad.” What will happen when Amy is assigned to be the police
consultant for Jake’s new show?” Goood… Really good. In-Progress. 6 Chapters so far.)
around my heart like a coronary arteryby @the-pontiac-bandit (”Amy Santiago enters NYU Medical School with prep books, a 60-set of
colored pens, and a plan. Jake Peralta walks in with gummy bears and
orange soda.” Medical students AU. Every chapter represents a year. AMAZING!
In-Progress. 2/5 Chapters so far.)
Sooo… this is a fic rec of quite respectable size, huh? ^^; Would anybody be interested in me continuing/updating this? Let me know! (I assembled this in various stages of consciousness/being awake, so I’m sorry if some of my “reviews/thoughts” on some of the fics are a little too rambly or short - I love them all so much, my dear writers; you are all incredibly awesome!
I taught this morning and then ran a workshop (on mental health in the classroom yeahhhhh) at a conference this afternoon and I’m only just getting home and I’m doing all the deep breathing stuff but are there any particular stretches or something that work well for post-binding all damn day (8.5 hours, I didn’t get home as early as I thought I would)?
Awwweee yay ! :) So I thought of a Bucky imagine (he’s such a bae) maybe where you’re dating him but you’re also a bit shy and you feel bad about that, but Buck thinks it’s totally cute and loves it. One time while you’re over at his Apartment in the Tower you cuddle but then Bucky starts tickling you which Ends up, you on top of him. Since then, things get heated and passionate and Bucky makes the night all about you? :) I hope you’re okay with this smut hihi THX <3 <3
You were always a timid, shy person. Your face would turn a bright red anytime someone spoke to you and your voice would come out wobbly and soft. The team had to get used to your quiet voice and had to remember not to call you out on it; or else you’d feel upset.
Everyone knew you were shy and had a shell you liked to remain in. Bucky Barnes has brought you out of that shell, little by little. He adores how shy and quiet you are, but he also loves to see you initiate a conversation on your own.
It took you a while to warm up to everybody and the first time you let yourself laugh uncontrollably without a care in the world made Bucky fall even more in love with you.
You were sitting in Bucky’s apartment in the Avengers tower, cuddling after your movie had ended. The final credit rolled off the screen and you stretched out, sighing. “I liked that movie.” Bucky said with a smile. “I know right! It’s so cute. Olaf is my favorite.” You said softly with a small squeak of a giggle.
“What was that squeak, Doll?” Bucky asked, chuckling lightly. You blushed and giggled a little more. “Stooopp.” You playfully whined, lightly hitting Bucky’s muscular chest. “Nooo.” Bucky whined back, pulling you into his lap.
You giggled a little more, feeling Bucky’s hands rest on your sides. “You’re so gorgeous, Y/N.” Bucky said, looking into your eyes. Your cheeks burned red and you hid your face with your hands. “Aww, Doll!” Bucky chuckled, rubbing your sides.
A loud string of laughter came from your mouth at the sudden action, your body writhing slightly. “That tickles!” You whined, pouting as you moved Bucky’s hands away from you. Bucky smiled and raised his eyebrows at you. “Oh, it does?” Bucky teasingly asked.
You felt his fingers dig into your sides and you squealed out, laughing harder as he continued. You gasped for air, writhing around in Bucky’s lap. He laughed with you and you tried to push his hands away but he didn’t budge. His eyes remained on you as his heart fluttered in his chest.
“S-stop, ple-eaaase!” You squealed while you laughed so hard tears filled your eyes. Bucky’s fingers slowed to a stop and you breathed heavily, collapsing into Bucky’s chest, with a strong laugh.
Bucky fell silent and you caught your breath, looking up at him. Your sides burned from the tickle session. Bucky was staring at you, a smile on his face. “What?” You softly asked, clearing your throat gently. “I love you.” Bucky whispered.
Your eyes widened and your mouth opened slightly. “Y-you do?” You asked, getting shy again. You could hear the small intake of breath Bucky took. “I do. So much.” Bucky said, pulling you in for a kiss.
You kissed Bucky back, a small smile tugging at your lips. You pulled away, gasping for air. “I love you too.” You said, twirling a strand of Bucky’s hair around your index finger.
Bucky’s eyes remained on your face as he slowly leaned into your neck. You nervously sat there, anxious for his next move.
A small gasp fell from your mouth as you felt Bucky’s lips press to your neck. Your eyes fluttered closed as he pulled away just enough to let his tongue trace little circles against your pulse point. “Bucky.” You whispered breathlessly.
Your shy nature caused your cheeks to turn bright red. “Y/N, let me show you how much I love you.” Bucky whispered into your ear, making you shiver. You opened your eyes and nodded slightly. “O-okay.” You said softly.
Bucky pulled away from your neck and looked you in the eyes. You got even more shy and turned away. “Baby doll, it’s okay. It’s just me.” Bucky said with a smile.
You frowned at Bucky, feeling bad about yourself for being so shy. “Hey, what’s the matter?” Bucky asked, looking at you worriedly. “Was it me? Oh no, did I go too far?” Bucky asked, feeling like this was his fault.
You shook your head quickly. “No! No, I..I want to. It’s just, I’m too shy. I don’t have a lot of experience.” You said quietly, feeling ashamed. “Y/N, that’s okay. I don’t mind. I love how shy you are.” Bucky said, kissing your nose.
You smiled and bit your lip. Bucky looked at your lips and brought his thumb to them, slowly pulling your bottom lip from underneath your teeth. “I’ll make it all about you tonight.” Bucky said as softly as you usually speak, making you feel safe in his arms.
You blushed and nodded, holding onto Bucky as he stood with you clinging to him. Bucky carried you to his bed from his little couch in his bedroom.
Bucky gently put you down on your back and slid off his shoes before hovering above you. He smiled down at you and began to lift your shirt up, his flesh hand rubbing the smooth skin exposed to him.
“Is this okay?” Bucky asked as his hand slid further up your shirt. You hesitantly nodded, goosebumps covering your skin from the cool air in the room. You leaned up so Bucky could take your shirt off and he sighed out, looking down at you.
You shyly crossed your arms over your chest, wishing you hadn’t worn such a girly pink bra. Bucky frowned, pulling your arms away. “You’re gorgeous.” Bucky whispered, leaning down to kiss your collarbones.
You felt Bucky raise your arms above your head, adding a little pressure as he gripped your wrists. Bucky’s lips made their way to the top of your left breast and you gasped, closing your eyes for a split second.
You quickly opened them, watching as Bucky licked a stripe up your cleavage. “You’re so soft, Y/N.” Bucky said with a smile, moving his flesh hand to pull your bra strap down your shoulder.
“I like the pink, by the way.” Bucky said, making you blush again. “Th-thanks.” You said with a soft giggle. Bucky pulled your other bra strap down, helping you sit up again so he can remove your bra.
The cool air caused your nipples to harden and Bucky let out a small groan. “Amazing.” He breathed, leaning down to capture one in his mouth. You let out a squeak and Bucky groaned even louder, grazing his teeth against your nipple.
“You can be loud, Y/N, I really don’t mind.” Bucky said in a sultry tone as he pulled away from your breast.
You were a sweaty and loud moaning mess, your hands tangled in Bucky’s hair as he worked his tongue around your clit. You could feel him groan against you every time you tugged on his hair.
“B-Bucky I’m gonna-” You whimpered out, arching your back. The pleasure spread throughout your whole body as Bucky continued to lick and suck on your pussy.
Bucky’s metal arm held your hips down as you writhed around on the bed. Bucky cleaned you up with his tongue and kissed his way up your stomach. “Mm, you taste just as innocent.” Bucky moaned, nipping at your skin.
Your breathing was heavy and deep, your head still spinning from your orgasm. “You’re good at that.” You said breathlessly. Bucky chuckled deeply. “I aim to please my Princess.” He said, resting in between your legs.
You bit your lip and looked down at Bucky’s still covered cock. “Do you want to go further?” Bucky quietly asked. You nodded. “Words, baby.” Bucky said, kissing your chin. “Yes, I want you Bucky.” You whimpered, craving to feel him inside of you.
You blushed at your own words and Bucky pulled off his boxers. His erection sprang free and you gasped. Bucky chuckled, taking it in his hand. The tip was red and you could tell he was ready to chase his own release.
Bucky aligned himself in between your legs, rubbing the tip against your sensitive clit. Your hips jerked a tad at the contact and you whimpered. “I love the sounds you make.” Bucky said lowly, grabbing your hands and holding them above your head.
You whined impatiently, rubbing your wet pussy against Bucky’s hard cock. “Bucky, please.” You softly begged.
Bucky smirked and started to slip himself inside of you slowly and carefully. You gasped and your eyes momentarily rolled into the back of your head.
“Fuck.” Bucky groaned out, sliding in deeper as he watched you. He stretched you a good bit and you definitely felt full. Or so you thought. Bucky finally filled you up, his pubic bone resting against your clit. He was a lot to take in for sure.
Bucky gave you time to adjust and you were panting. “You’re so wet for me, котенок.” Bucky rasped, starting to slide in and out slowly.
You moaned, wanting him to take control. “Harder.” You begged, looking into Bucky’s eyes. “Are you sure?” He asked, suddenly growing serious. “Yes. I want you to fuck me so hard I can’t walk.” You said softly, trying to pull your hands out of his grip.
Bucky gasped and moaned. “God, you’re sexy when you’re shy, but this is a new side of you.” Bucky smirked and pulled out, and just as quickly, he shoved himself back in. You cried out, loving how he filled you. “Shit, yes.” Bucky growled.
Bucky started to pound into you, his mouth catching onto one of your bouncing breasts. You wrapped your legs around Bucky’s waist, screaming out his name as his thrusts got faster. “Bucky, oh my god!” You cried.
Bucky’s flesh hand twitched in yours and you bit your lip. “Choke me, Soldier.” You whimpered out. Your face got red, not believing your mouth spoke what was on your mind.
Bucky’s thrusts came to a complete stop. “Oh, котеноk.” Bucky said with a devious smile. Bucky got up on his knees, still inside of you. His flesh hand released yours and he brought it to your neck. You moaned, moving your hips against his.
Bucky’s thick cock slid in and out of you and he applied more pressure to your throat. He started to thrust inside of you faster and harder. “You like that? You like when I choke you and fuck you this hard?” Bucky said, his breath uneven.
You nodded, gripping onto his wrist. You could still breathe through your mouth and you let out a particularly loud moan when Bucky’s cock hit your g-spot. “There it is.” He chuckled darkly.
Bucky’s metal thumb started to rub fast circles against your clit and you felt your orgasm approach quickly. “I’m close.” You squealed, gasping for air.
Bucky grunted and nodded. “I feel you-oh God.” Bucky growled as your pussy clenched around him. “Wait for me. Don’t cum yet, Princess.” He said, speeding up his movements.
You moaned, digging your nails into Bucky’s arm. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” Bucky groaned, his thrusts losing their rhythm. You couldn’t hold it back anymore. You had to cum and you had to do it now.
“Buckyyyy”, you moaned as your pussy tightened around Bucky’s cock again, “I need to-” “Cum for me, Y/N. Cum.” Bucky ordered. You gasped as your orgasm hit you.
Bucky’s hand tightened around your throat, so much so, you couldn’t breathe. You didn’t care, you loved it. A smile formed on your lips as you came around Bucky.
You felt hot and long spurts of Bucky’s cum fill you up inside, a little bit seeping out of your pussy. Bucky came down from his high and you moaned as you finished coming down from yours.
Bucky pulled out slowly and fell onto his back beside you. You both were breathing heavy and you let out a small giggle. You covered your face with your hands. “What’s so funny?” Bucky asked with a chuckle. “I’m getting shy.” You said quietly.
Bucky chuckled again. “You’re always shy.” He said with a smile. Bucky got up to get a damp towel to clean you both up with.
You and Bucky were cuddling now, still unclothed and worn out. Bucky’s metal hand was drawing small circles on your back and you pressed kisses to his scar. “I love you.” You whispered softly.
You lovingly looked up at him, your cheeks red. “I love you too, my shy girl.” Bucky smiled, pulling you in for a kiss.
Note: omg, i hope you liked this! thanks for the cute request! i relate to this, ugh. im so frickin shy, its a pain sometimes .c