Thoughts on Jupiter Ascending
1. I have seen the light and it is refracted through ten million swarovski crystals
2. Gugu Mbatha-Raw’s hair is gorgeous, as is her smirk. She is the villain we all deserve, and I am choosing to believe that instead of working for Spongedude Squareface she is a double agent for Kalique and they’re the villains for the sequel. (And that they kiss. WE ALL KNOW ME.)
3. SPEAKING OF Kalique is so fascinating and I like how it’s kind of supposed to be a build of least-scary sibling to most-scary sibling but, to me, worked in the exact opposite direction. Her saying that all they have to do for more time is close their eyes is perfect and chilling.
3a. It is impossible to take Eddie Redmayne seriously as a villain, I’m sorry, but it’s true, I spent the whole time whenever he was on the screen going “Marius, sweetie, did you not take your nap today?”
4. Jupiter’s increasingly annoyed “I am not your mother"s were a delight. Also, I am so amused that the big dramatic arc line was … "I hate my life.” Oh, movie.
5. For a movie with a plot point hinging on bees, and a movie that winked at dinosaur extinction, crop circles, and the most common sort of alien sighting, I was really expecting them to explain the decline in bee population? Like, I feel that’s something big they missed out on.
6. I love how whenever the word salad got to be too much Jupiter was just like “nope, don’t want to hear anymore.” It was like the writers were speaking to us going “shhh, shhh, just accept it, it doesn’t have to make sense to be awesome.”
7. As some people have said, this really feels like the movie adaptation of a long-running comic series. No doubt, in the universe where that comic series exists, the fans are sniping because they messed up the reincarnation explanation! Caine is supposed to be more badass! They didn’t get together for like thirty more plotlines in the comic! The fans in that universe are missing out, though, because now when tie-in literature happens it’s going to feel like a glorious expansion of the movie instead of feeling like the movie is a diced-up version of the comic.
8. Soooo … from what I can tell there’s nothing preventing two Recurrences from existing at the same time? Especially given the incredible longevity of people’s lives? And, like, the possibility of identical twins etc. Did that get explained away? Because let me tell you that would be a BADASS sequel plot. Give me Mila Kunis playing two roles at once.