Pick-up Lines the Houses use

Ravenclaw: You must be the square root of 2 because I feel irrational around you.

Hufflepuff: Excuse me, are you a reverse immortality potion? Because I can see myself growing old with you.

Slytherin: I like your face. We should go to a place at the same time and say things to each other.

Gryffindor: You must be a Nimbus 2000 because you just swept me off my feet.

polar opposites

Originally posted by magiccastles

[jaebum x reader]

genre: fluff

word count: 1713

What made us so beautiful is that we were never likely to happen.”

Of all the people living in the world today, no one would’ve guessed that you two would become a couple – well, considering you’re polar opposites.

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science: cross a homozygous white cow with a roan bull. use the punnett square and be able to give the phenotypic and genotypic ratio.

me: c.

math: three times the square root of 2 equals the square root of the sum of some number and 10. find the number.

me: c.

@thatsthat24 thnks fr th nswrs


taehyung: ok how far do u think i have to throw this wad of paper for it to land in her hair and for her to notice *attempts to throw piece of paper at you that has his confession in it*

jungkook: *holding 3223 notecards* a-are you an ang-gel bec-cause you *shuffles notecards* a-are…ee *drops notecards on the floor* yOU’RE JUST REALLY PRETTY OKAY BYE *dashes off and hides somewhere*

yoongi: i GOT this guys *shrugs coolly and walks up to u* “what’s up, yoongi?” “fuck.” *him nervously patting his hands on his pants and looking away and trying not to blush* ugh flustered yoongi will be the death of me “i like u” UGH HE HAS THAT LOOK ON HIS FACE LIKE SO SOFT AND SQUISHY AND OML HELP 

hoseok: *doing extremely awkward moves because he’s nervous* “hoseok r u ok” “yeah, yeah” *being super boyish and blowing up his cheeks trying to calm down to confess* “are you sure…” “yeS OKAY I JUST LIKE YOU.” then u looking shocked and him whispering “i like u” again anD UGH 

namjoon: “r u the square root of 2 because i feel irrational around u” u screaming at him for being so cheesy “no y/n i was sERIOus” “wait what” “i like u??” u getting shy and screaming internally because he’s actually looking at you with suPER LOVING EYES WHICH IS NOT OK NOT NOT OK

seokjin: taking u up to the rooftop and having lunch with you while looking at the sky and confessing to you gently and romantically leaVING YOU SPEECHLESS LIKE IS THIS A MOVIE ?? 

jimin: taking 3 years to talk to you at least once but his hyungs forced him to go up to you *awkwardly walking up to you while biting his lip cutely* “sooo y/n how’s the weather?” (hyungs hissing at him from behind) “it’s nice” “okAY SO I ACTUALLY REALLY LIKE YOU” *talks faster than yoongi’s raps then runs away* 

You have a daughter?!?!? (Bucky x reader)

Wow, major writers block, but here’s another one shot Hope you guys like it!!

Prompt: Bucky went back to his old 1940s ways and had a one night stand ( ikr) and had a daughter, Tony found out and did everything he could to try and find her, and when he does…read and find out.

      Your foster family, were never nice to you and to be honest you really didn’t care. You never knew who your parents were but you thought they were gonna come back whenever that was. You had got most of you genes from your mom, you had (your hair color) hair, along with ( your eye color) eyes, but the thing you did get from your dad was a prosthetic left arm, snarky attitude and sometimes short-term memory.

You weren’t paying attention in class, when the teacher called on you, “(your name), what’s the answer? She asked knowing you weren’t paying attention. You quickly glanced at the board and looked at the equation then answer, "Well, 32 = 9, 3 is the square (n=2) root of 9.” You finished then sighed of relief. The teacher glared at you. Then proceeded.

When class ended, you walked the halls and people called you named just because of your arm. “Hey whore” Poppy said and her posse smirked. “Hey bitch” you simply replied. She grumble then grabbed the hood of your jacket and forced you back into the lockers. “What did you call me?!” You simply shrugged, tired of her act,“You heard me, bitch” she then got so angry, she punched you, well tried to, you grabbed her fist and squeezed it between you prosthetic fingers, she squealed and tore away from your death grip. Then ran away with tears in her eyes, her posse then backed away slowly. You got up from the lockers and discovered a new bruise on your head, then walked to your next class.

After school you were walking to the Smithsonian. You bumped into someone and immediately apologized, you looked up you saw, Tony Stark. “Sorry sir” you hastily said. He looked at you like he was about to say something. “Hey kid, do I know you?” He asked unsure. “No, I don’t think so.” He looked confused, he swore he has seen you before. Tony gave you a look and grunted, then left.

————-Time skip to the tower———–

“I’m telling you I’ve seen her before!” Tony shouted at Bruce, just as Bucky walked into the lab. “Seen who before?” He asked as he stood by Tony looking at the city security cameras of a young girl who looked exactly…like……him.

     Bucky’s stomach dropped as he studied her, Tony looked at Bucky then back at the girl, then back at Bucky then back at the girl. “No way” Tony said shocked. “You have a daughter?!?!” He shrieked. “Well, um, you see” Bucky was so scared about telling him, he couldn’t speak. “Wait a minute, you, you had a one night stand!” Tony said laughing uncontrollably.

   “Okay tell me everything, what’s she like, what’s her personality like, is she dark and mysterious just like you?” “Tony I don’t know anything more than you do about her” Bucky tried to talk Tony out of bringing her up. “So why don’t we know about her?” Tony said.

   “Well, her mother and I had a fight after she was born and-” Bucky was cut of by Tony, “So you gave her the winter shoulder?” He said smirking. Bucky didn’t want to talk about this anymore, so he just started to walk out of the lab when Tony grabbed his arm and tried to calm him down. “Listen Snowflake if you want to I’ll help you find her again"  Bucky perked up his head and looked at the man, “Really” he said shocked, “Yes, I’ll get the team on it as soon as possible”. “ We’ll find her, I promise.


-Anon request (request for Charles adorableness, I think this counts…)

Sometimes -when he was really bored- the professor liked to bend his own rule a bit. Now, Charles Xavier had a terrible habit of *bending* rules, but one in particular: ’Absolutely! I promise that I will never ever read your thoughts without your permission. You can trust me,’- was just too fun to pass up on occasion.

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Things I heard on my first day of senior year:
• “If I drop out today will universities still accept me?”
• “If think the cafeteria guy jizzed in my pasta”
• “So you’re gay now?” “I’ve always been gay” “cool me too” “cool”
• “Behold the graduating class of 2017, excluding Brian, Brian will never graduate because he’s an idiot”
• “Professor Dumbledore would give us free pizza”
• “Did you skip first period?” “No I was asleep under my desk”
• “You’re teacher called in sick and she didn’t leave a lesson plan so uhm I stole these colouring books from the daycare”
• “If we threaten to take away the cafeteria guy’s ipod will he being back giant cookies?”
• “Ms Wilson is now Mrs Earle, Mr and Mrs Earle are married, the woman I’ve been in love with for four years fucked my math teacher”
• “The square root of your face is 2”
• “I’m a nickel short, do you have one I can use?” “I have two but I don’t know how-” “not nipple you idiot, nickel”
• “Dude you have a period stain” “Dude my jeans are red”
• “The cafeteria guy’s pretty hot” “you’re pretty hot” “What?” “Nothing”
• “This bird crap stain looks like Mr K” “Yeah that does kind of look like me”
• “Yo Mrs Jewel! Hit me with your car real quick!”
• “If I break my arm do I have to write any tests?”
• “Je ne comprends pas” “je ne comprends pas either madam, can I leave?”

• “The cafeteria guy ate half my pizza” “That’s because you asked if you could buy the slice he was eating”

first thing’s first: despite what the twewy wiki says, “SOHCAHTOA” is not a play on “sou ka”. it’s not said even once in the japanese version by anyone, ever. you cant really blame the translators though, considering they were dealing with completely untranslatable mnemonics

(i didnt even notice this the first time around but. look at this. “san” is in katakana. literally the first thing out of this shitlord’s mouth is a fucking number pun and it gets worse)

under a cut because this is gonna be pretty image-heavy

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How rich is Scrooge McDuck?


Scrooge McDuck has a money bin.
The money bin is filled with gold coins.
The money bin is three cubic acres in size.


Three cubic acres is not a valid unit of measurement, as an acre is already a squared unit.  In order to have a cubic acre you need at least a seven dimensional space time with six Euclidean dimensions.  We exist in a four dimensional space time with three Euclidean dimensions.


The money bin is a three dimensional cubic volume for which any one side makes up 1 acre.
4047 m^2 = 1 acre (this is actually an approximation because an acre is an English unit, not metric.)
The square root of 4047 m^2 is approximately 63.616 meters
The length of each side of the money bin is 63.616 meters, or 6361.6 centimeters.
The money is entirely in the form of gold coins.
The money bin is roughly 4/5th’s full


(6361.6 cm)^3 gives a volume of 257,453,662,928.896 cm^3 which we will approximate as 2.6x10^11 cm^3 for ease of calculation.
A 2 cm diameter circle has an area of Pi cm^2.  a square with 2 cm sides has an area of 4 cm^2.  The area of the circle divided by the area of the square is .79.  This is dimensionless, but tells us that the gold coins will occupy roughly .79 percent of the volume of the money bin if stacked in perfect columns with no spacing between the column.  This is the upper bound for the volume of gold.  Since the gold is not stacked in perfect columns, we will approximate down to .7 to allow for gaps due to imperfect arrangement.
.7 is multiplied by .8 to account for the fact that the money bin is not completely full.  This gives us a final volume of gold that is 0.56 x 2.6x10^11 cm^3 or 1.5x10^11 cm^3 of gold.
The density of gold is 19.30 g/cm^3.
19.30 g/cm^3 x 1.5x10^11 cm^3 = 2.9x10^12 g of gold.
Gold is selling for $40.82 /g right now.
2.9x10^12 g x $40.82 /g = $1.2x10^14
$1.2x10^14 is 120 Trillion Dollars

That more than six times the national debt.  And that’s just the cash he keeps on hand.  That doesn’t even include stocks, bonds, investments, business assents, real estate, etc.

The square root of 2 equals 1.41421356237… Multiply this successively by 1, by 2, by 3, by 4 and so on, and write down the integer part of each result. Beneath this sequence, make a second list of the numbers missing from the first sequence.

Then the differences between the upper and lower numbers in these pairs are 2, 4, 6, 8, 10, 12, 14, 16, 18…

anonymous asked:

Bless your blog and writing. LOVE. Okay, prompt! College type of meme. You and Ian are playing a studying game. Whenever someone gets an answer correct, the other person takes off an article of clothing. Later smut ensues. Bless.

JUST A QUICK NOTE THERES NO SMUT IN THIS, SORRY. Only, because it was becoming really long.


http://jojisgirl.tumblr.com did one just like this and I thought it was really good, so go check that out. 

Cancer Crew - Ian Imagine

You raise an eyebrow at your boyfriend, as you chuck both your books on your bed where he’s sitting, staring at you, awaiting an answer. “It will help us study” He says, due to your lack of words. You can’t help but laugh slightly at this, rolling your eyes. “I highly doubt that” You tell him, joining him on the bed, “More like distract us from studying” You add, earning a smile from Ian. “So?…” He trails off, staring at you. You look down on your bed, a small laugh dripping off your lips. “Fine” You mumble, before opening your book.

“Alright, I’ll start” He tells you, looking at you as a signal to ask him a question. You feel a small mischievous grin form on your lips as you look over to Ian. “A piece of clothing, right?” You ask him once again, ensuring you knew what was going on. Ian only nods, pushing up his glasses, studying your expression. “Alright” You begin, pretending to skim over the pages in your book, even though you aren’t reading shit from it. The grin on your lips is still showing and you wait a few seconds before looking up from your book to your boyfriend.

“Four plus four?” You ask, not being able to hold back the small giggle that follows after. Ian raises an eyebrow, a small chuckle leaving his mouth. “Four plus four?” He repeats, still chuckling. You only nod, waiting for his answer. “Eight?” He questions, pretending as if he needs your approval for him to know wether or not it’s correct. You look down in your book, acting as if you were quickly checking wether he was right or not. “You’d be correct, my friend” You tell him. Ian rolls his eyes, lifting his shirt up and taking it off, leaving him shirtless and you can’t help but stare until he cuts you off.

“What is the square root of 3 to the square root of 2 power times the square root of 3 to the negative square root of 2 power?” He asks, and you swear your jaw hits the bed, staring at him in awe “You’re cock blocking yourself right now” You tell him, not even taking in a single word he said that would be some use to you. “Good point” He replies, immediately after asking, “two times three?”

You sit there with a stupid smile, “Six, right?” You mumble, and Ian raises both eyebrows, pretending to be surprised. “Holy shit” He explains, “Thats right” He adds, and you feel your smile become bigger as you pull off your shirt, leaving you in your laced bra, Ian’s eyes completely leaving whatever he was previously looking at and staying locked on your body. “Come on now, we’re here to study” You tell him, resulting into his eyes moving away from you, although not before the roll of his eyes.

You scan your mind for a question, but get cut off by Ian. “Two plus two?” He asks, despite it not even sounding close to a question and this time, you raise an eyebrow at him. “Isn’t it my turn?”
“Just answer the question”
“Four” You say without hesitation, or in an unsure tone. Ian doesn’t even tell you wether or not your correct and you assume the both of you are already past that. Instead of saying anything he crawls over towards you and pushes you down on the bed so your lying on your back before unbuttoning and unzipping your jeans. “I’m guessing I was right then, yeah?” You ask, propping your elbows up so you could see him. “Yeah” He mumbles, not even looking up at you as he begins taking off your jeans and you laugh, un propping your elbows so you’re lying comfortably on the bed.

When you feel your jeans are fully off, Ian doesn’t hesitate to begin leaving sloppy kisses from your torso, making his way upward before he gets to your lips. He kisses you hard and you kiss back as you feel his hands roam your body. “Two squared?” You ask with a cheeky smile, both your lips inches apart. “This is fucking gay” Ian mumbles his hands moving around to your back to unclip your bra. You almost want to laugh and remind him that it was his idea to do this, but your hands are already finding themselves un doing his belt. “I know, just take off your pants” You tell him with a large breath.

Ian stops kissing you for a moment, only so he can finish off your work with his belt and then chucks it somewhere on the floor, unbuttoning and zipping his own pants as you lie and wait, impatiently. He throws his jeans off, leaving him in just his underwear and you can see the outline of his cock, which causes a small moan to escape your lips. Ian chuckles, taking off his glasses and putting them on the bedside table before bringing himself in his previous position. The both of your lips reconnect, and you feel him lick your bottom lip, asking for entrance which you allow.

Once again, his hands trail behind your back to unclasp your bra, and once he does, its gone and off your body in a matter of seconds, exposing your breasts. Ian begins kissing around from your lips until he makes his way to your ear, nibbling on the skin slightly.

“I love studying”

daesperado  asked:

Rainy days and laughter!

🌸 🌸 🌸 🌸

Rainy days : What do you do on a rainy day?

to be honest hehe, i always feel super sleepy when it’s rainy, it is like a sign it is going to rain haha, but i will listen to songs mostly: ballads and mellow tunes, lofi hip-hop mostly and will try hard not to sleep to study ^^

🌸 🌸 🌸 🌸

Laughter: What’s the funniest joke you’ve heard?

Omg, there’s alot of jokes omg haha ( i think i laugh easily ><) but the recent ones that made me laugh (my friends show me and i hope it makes you laugh too >< ) are

1)“What’s the square root of 2?

A number “

2)“You are tall,you look like this actor… what the name again, 

oh the Titan from Attack On Titan “

3) “I saw a girl with 12 nipples. It sounds pretty strange, dozen tit?”

( i am so sorry if i am so lame)

(Geraldine!Ily💖💖  thanks for asking hehe)

For all the members of the leadership of the Citadel, there exists a Prime Imperator.  It follows then that the other Imperator is Composite.

Let the Citadel leadership be the set of all natural numbers strictly greater than 0.

Immortan Joe is number 1.

The Prime Imperator: 2, 3, 5, 7, 11, 13…

The Composite Imperator: 4, 6, 8, 9, 10, 12…

Rictus, sadly, is irrational.

Being Best friends with Peter Parker would Include:

-Building lego with him and Ned

-Coming up with dumb science puns

-like really dumb

- like “Are you the square root of 2? because I feel irrational around you”

-Don’t question him

-Him randomly disappearing 

-him making dumb excuses about where he is

-”I’m sorry I need to go, my parrot just died.”

-”peter, you don’t have a parrot!”

-”well not anymore!”

-you hanging out with Ned and Michelle instead

-making up theories where he goes when he randomly disappears

-Talking about his Stark internship

-Asking if you could meet one of the Avengers

-”Why not?”

-”Because I said so, Y/N”

- “you’re mean!”

- You teasing him over Liz

- Him teasing you over whoever you’re crushing on

- Calling him at 3 am because you need a hug

-Him actually coming to your palce at 3 am to give you hugs


-You starting to call Aunt Mey “mom” 

-him finding it adorable

-Copying his homework

-Peter copying your homework

-Meeting up to study together

-You eventually find out he’s spider man

-He’s scared you will hate him

-You begging him to let you meet the Avengers

-Peter coming to you to patch up wounds

-”I’m sorry I got hurt.”

-”If you get hurt again I’ll slap you till your face is blue!”

-”Don’t worry It won’t happen again.”

-It happening again and again

- You being terrified when he fights along the Avengers during the Civil war

(Pics don’t belong to me-”