spurt!

23.08.16

Okay so this morning, I was having an absolutely heavenly time in the shower as the warm soothing water rolled off my body, washing my sorrows away. What a beautiful way to start the day………….and then all hell broke lose. I was in the middle of shampooing my beautiful hair when all of a sudden, my shower head spurted some water into my eyes along with what felt like all the shampoo on my head. It was one of the most painful experiences ever. Just imagine someone microwaved a spoon until it was red hot and then shoved it into your eye sockets. I feel like that would even be less painful than my experience this morning. To top it all off, my roommate in the other bathroom flushed his toilet only a moment after. My shower turned from a warm soothing rinse into a scathing hot hellish experience. Moral of the story; be wary of shower-heads. They may appear to be idle and inanimate, but believe me. They are out to get you.

Stay Adventurous Dear Friends!!

anonymous asked:

Have you heard of the coconut gun? It can fire in spurts and if it shoots ya, it's gonna hurt

It’s alolan exeggcutor’s signature move

After going out to practise with Lydia the day after her return, she had found her skills to be rusty at best. Her shots were like wildfire, erratic and unpredictable. She had bitterly accepted that she needed a little more time to rest and heal before she faced this beast. The only problem was that she was afraid if she waited too long, it would delay her finding out the truth. 

A week later, Allison had enrolled back in school, slowly began migrating back home, and had been training in short spurts every day, Finally, after some advice from Kira did Allison find herself progressing back to her comfort level of accuracy. It was just after dinner Allison picked up her bow and arrow, sending Lydia a quick text that she thought she was ready, before driving over to Lydia’s house. Her dark leather hunting jacket covering her arms, she knocked on Lydia’s door, hoping she was ready to go. 

[ @lydisms ]

Facts

A/N - Another one for B :) [Only one to go now!]. Also slightly NSFW

You smiled into the kiss and let your hands roam his chest. He broke it off and you pulled his lips back to yours pulling off his shirt. Your hands jumped to his belt and hr broke off the kiss again. You groaned and moved to his neck and started lightly biting and sucking.

“Giraffes have blue tongues.” He moaned out causing you to roll your eyes and stop.

You looked him in the eyes and before he could spurt out another fact you put your finger on his lips “My body is very attracted to your body, and right now when you speak, my brain gets angry.”

His expression dropped “I thought you said you loved my facts.”

“I do when I’m not waiting for you to rip my clothes off and take me right here.”

“Sorry.”

You raised your eyebrow as a lightbulb went off in your head

“We could play a game where you keep telling me facts as I suck your dick and if you stop I stop.” You whispered into his ear

“Or I could tie you up and make you feel very very sorry that my clothes are not on the floor right now.” You continued as he moaned in agreement.

“Or you could just fuck me right here, right now.” You smiled taking your mouth away from his ear.

“So tell me Tim, how many facts can you spare off the top of your head?” You giggled as his face flushed. “I thought so.”

You resumed kissing him and placed his hands on your pants.

I spoke to my health visitor last month about my concerns about Link not walking yet and she referred us to the physiotherapist. He has actually gotten much better recently however he will still do no more then 10-15steps and will prefer to crawl 75% of the time. His appointment was yesterday. She said he is doing really great and nothing to worry about however the reason he is slow to walk is that he has low muscle tone in his legs. She said he will get better at walking but when he is bigger he will get tired more easily, and will probably need to be in a pushchair a bit longer. (We just ordered a toddler beco carrier so we can baby wear for longer) also he will be more clumsy when he is going through a growth spurt. She said if he is having trouble with being too clumsy then get a referral to go back to see her!

3

Random person: “Aww! You’re such an adorable smol!“

Goth: “I’m not adorable nor smol! Shut up!”

Random person: “oh yes you are, sweetie!~”

Goth: “If you call me cute or smol one more damn time, I’ll pay you a personal visit to your house when your asleep and fucking rip all your insides out of your stomach while I quietly laugh and let you slowly bleed out while I repeatedly stab you like the fucking bitch you are. Then I’ll rip your damn spine out of your body. Once you bleed out and die I’ll take all your bones and crush them until they’re nothing but a powder like substance and put it in your house as a salt container so your family can eat your fucking bone dust while I make a you flavored feast for your family as well. Once they eat you I’ll announce that and then murder your family as well you little cunt. I’ll do the same process. Except I’ll ask my father to help me just so it can be a family bond. I’ll even ask him if he can contact Life somehow and bring you back from the dead so you can watch your whole family die and get murdered you fucking dickbag. Don’t underestimate my power. I will tear you and everyone you love to pieces. So call me fucking cute again. I fucking dare you, bastard.”

Random person: “I-I-I’m s-so sssssorry! *faints*


Me: Lesson learned here: don’t call goth cute under any circumstances.

Goth was made by the wonderful @nekophy
(I am so so sorry. xD)

art by theundertaletrashdom 

response:

Originally posted by kankurobot

omfg goth how can u be so cute and scary at the same time THIS IS JUST TOO AMAZING AHAHAHAH

Started from the bottom

Now we here

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Pokémon Opening 9 - Spurt! by Rika Matsumoto