Yo, do you see this thing? This thing right here?!

this is the SPRINKLER, baby!

It ain’t here to water your lawns, nor is it gonna put out any fires, nah, this beautiful little machine is  your new best friend in turf inking.

Don’t believe me? Well are you sitting comfortably because I’m about to learn you a thing or two!

You ever thought your team could use another  member? Well look no further because your Sprinkler is the best 5th team mate you could ever ask for! Chuck that sucker and watch it do its job! What’s that job? It inks, it inks everything within its radius.

It’s so good at what it does it deserves a promotion! 

As if Sprinklers weren’t already the greatest thing since sliced bread there’s even more! 

Wanna know what else?

Come real close, it’s top secret.

You ready for this?

They stick to virtually everything.

You heard me right!

Chuck up at a wall, as high or as low as you want. Chuck them at the ceiling if you can– they WILL stick

Ink from heaven, baby!

While the Sprinkler might be a better team mate than most squids out there, you gotta know what you’re doing with it. Treat it with knowledge and respect, ya hear?

Here’s some tips on how to work for your Sprinkler so it will work for you

  • You can only have out one at a time

The Sprinkler is one in a million so if you try to use one while you’ve already got one deployed, the first one’ll vamoose. Be absolutely sure that your first one has done its job before calling out the second soldier. Is the first one still covering turf and getting you some valuable points toward your Special? Maybe wait a little bit.

  • It makes a fantastic distraction

Nobody wants their turf inked, not in any mode so if you send this baby out, more than likely it’s gonna get targeted by the enemy. Unfortunately for them though they gotta show themselves and use their ink to destroy it, leaving them potentially vulnerable for you to swoop in for an easy splat!

  • It can be used for both offense and defense

The versatility of this puppy is second to none! Hurl it in front of yourself to get a quick shield up so you can make a quick escape! Watch out though, it’s not as tall as a Beacon so a good shot who aims a little high will make quick work of you if you’re not fast.

Not only that but try throwing it behind you opponents to cut off their escape or if not even that, it’ll distract them just for the second you and your team need to gain the ground needed to win the skirmish.

  • throw it up way high!

Channel your inner American Footballer or Olympic Shotputter and throw that thing as high up onto a wall as you possibly can. In some areas of the game you can chuck it so high that most rollers and shooters will struggle for days to reach it.

These things have helped me cover so much turf and helped me win many a ranked battle, particularly in Splat Zones– they’ve also used a lot of my ink to.

I don’t know the details completely but I’m pretty sure Sprinklers are undoubtedly the most ink hungry sub-weapon in the game. Maybe Splash Walls beat them out but I don’t know. Watch your ink gauge carefully when you use them because chances are you’ll only be able to squeeze out a few shots before you’re left completely helpless.

But this much power and this much utility is worth that level of responsibility! Agree? Disagree? Am I a total idiot who doesn’t know what he’s talking about? I’d love to here what all you kids and squids at home think about Sprinklers

((a little something fun I wrote based on @skyplayssplatoon‘s totally stellar essay on Beacons. Although I had fun acting like an obnoxious, pretentious commercial salesman type about it))