17 SEPTEMBER, nadia herrera and yulia vasnetsova entering a hotel together. the pair went to a late night afterparty post the 69th annual emmy awards show where both attended as guests. they were said to be arriving at the chamberlain early in the morning. question is: for two girls who live in los angeles, why was this necessary? there was no sight of baby daddy for nadia, so we can only assume he was off for the night with their daughter which mommy had some time to herself. well herself and yulia. the two checked out at separate times, but only within hours of each other, so we have to wonder what the late night hotel visit was for.
Moving house with a two year old is officially the hardest thing a person can do. I’m calling it. I love her more than life but, man, is she brutally honest. She toddled her way into the kitchen, took one look at all the boxes and instantly said I should probably clean up my mess. Once she was done in there, she made her way to the living room to start emptying some boxes in there. I thought it was the cutest thing ever because she was helping me unpack but nope. Turns out she was looking for a barbie doll. She found it, left the mess on the floor, then proceeded to run around shouting “Messy” at the top of her voice. Is this considered a “terrible two” stage? She’s only been two for a week, I’m scared. Anyway, I’m Leighton. From what I’ve seen of it, this town is beautiful and I’m in love. You all have to recommend your favourite places. I want to hear all about the hot cool people spots!
A peek inside my middle school X-Files scrapbook...
So, I’ve tried to think of something meaningful that I could get the XF cast to sign at Wizard World this weekend, and I started thinking a lot about my childhood X-Files Scrapbook.
After a few days of hunting (where I found a lot of other cool stuff from the 90s), I found my beloved scrapbook deep in my storage unit. I took a peek inside, and it’s just this incredible confluence of XF fandom + puberty.
Yes, that’s right, before we kept “receipts” on Tumblr, we were scrapbooking them. Please note the fuzzy dog stickers holding everything together because I am dying.
Weekly TV Guide advertisements that I definitely got off some website and printed off of my IBM Aptiva. This was for The Rain King. Note that I am the woman in love.I, a 12 year old, am Fox Mulder’s greatest peril.
I found this Tofutti Fruitti promo in some women’s magazine, cut it out, and made the connection. FBI Agent in training over here.
At my school we were “forced” to make covers for our textbooks. We had free creative reign as long as it wasn’t “offensive”. This is but one of my textbook covers. I think it’s the nicest one. Note the shippiness and the pre-Gillovny era Gillovny photos.
I definitely printed the shippy quote from Haven’s collection of shippy quotes. For sure.
This was a health class assignment on puberty. I think from grades 6-8 I managed to work The X-Files into every. single. school. assignment. “Sometimes, I feel like I’m the only one who is obsessed with X-Files.” Which was kinda true of my peer group at the time.
Cover page for my home ec assignment. You know, I think I was a better writer and creative as a child, even though I still work in a creative industry today/have a fucking masters degree.
A friend left this in my mailbox when she came by to hang out and I wasn’t there. My friends really knew how to fuck with me.
Ok, but look at this (PRINTED!!) online poll. How the fuck could they split up the shippers like that? I demand a recount.
I found these photos in a fashion magazine and was inspired. Again, I was a better writer/creative as a child. This is fucking hilarious.
Above, a school assignment where we had to make a totem pole of our interests/dreams. This is the kind of cultural appropriation they wouldn’t allow in Canadian schools today. Can you spot the Emmy and the Golden Globe?
Hope you enjoyed this lil trip down memory lane. Oh, and if you’re at Wizard World this weekend, say hi! I’ll be lugging this monstrosity around and you’re welcome to check it out in person.
Göring only complained to Kelley and the other Nuremberg jail staff when he found fault with the treatment of his family. He told Kelly that when he had surrendered to the Americans, the only consideration he had asked for good care of Emmy and Edda. Göring devoted much of his epistolary energies to his wife and daughter, and he asked Kelley and translator Dolibois to track them down and deliver letters to them.
For Three months I have been writing to you without receiving an answer…Today I can send you a letter direct : Major Kelley, the doctor who is treating me and who has my fullest confidence, is bringing it to you. The great torment of my soul was ans is the fact that, up until now, I have not known where all of you were and how you were getting alone. You can send me an answer through Major Kelley, and you will understand how I long for it…. I don’t need to tell you what I am going through here, the hard fate of our Fatherland and the tormenting worry about you and your future are the most difficult burdens for my soul. My dearest wife , I am so sincerely thankful for you, for all the happiness that you always gave me, for your love and for everything. How is little Edda taking it all?… Give Eddalein a kiss from her pappi and greet everyone for me, You are embraced and kissed in sincerest and longing by your Hermann.
When she finished reading it, she spoke with Kelley, whom she judged judged “an honest and very humane man.” she asked “How is my husband?” Kelley replied, “He’s behaving like a rock in a stormy sea.”
On the spot Emmy wrote out a response that Kelley carried back to her Husband:
Finally, finally a letter from you. I can’t tell you how happy I am. My love and my thoughts are with you every second. We are fine, we have food to eat and we have wood…. My only thought, my prayer every night is that you may be with us once more. Stay good in health. Thank God, Edda is still too young to share our worries… Hermann, I love you above all, keep faith and God will lead us together again. Everybody sends love and we all embrace you. I send you all the kisses which I gave you in the past and which I want to give you in all that years to come, I love you, always yours, Emmy.
Which her daughter added a line: “My dearest daddy, come back to me soon. I am longing for you so much. Many thousand kisses, your Edda.”
Göring received Emmy’s letter with joy, but he also expressed stoicism and regret:
You can well imagine how inexpressibly happy I was over your drear letter. It was the first ray of light in this dark period… You will already know from the newspapers that my so-called war criminal will begin on 20 November. We must prepare for the worst. Nevertheless I hope by the Almighty that we can still meet again. I pray everyday that I keep the strength to uphold our dignity-for it would be better to come to the end with dignity than to live on without honor. I only think of you and the only worry over your welfare torments me. I have always known and felt how much I love you, but now the true depth of our love has revealed to me for the first time I thank you eternally for the great happiness that your love gave me. You must know how great my longing and homesickness is for you and Edda. Sometimes I actually think I will die of it. Why did it have to turn out this way? If we had suspected this development, we would have certainly gone another way. Now we leave everything to God’s Will…. Never Let Edda away from you.
Felicity’s heart was racing,
and her whole body trembled slightly. She tried to take some deep breaths to calm
herself, but it didn’t work. Smiling bravely, she hoped Emmeline didn’t notice
her nervousness because as hundreds of websites said, if children felt her
parents’ nervousness, then it was going to infect them. Nervousness was like a
disease in cases like this.
None of it would be a
problem if Oliver was here like had been supposed to in the first place. Of
course it wasn’t his fault that he wasn’t here. Oliver would never ever
purposely let her alone in a situation like this, but an important board
meeting had come in between the plan of him joining his two most precious
It was just a damn doctor’s
appointment, Felicity tried to tell herself, but that didn’t work, either. How
could it work if she knew in the back of her head that Emmeline was going to
have vaccinations? She was going to have injections, so there were going to be
syringes which had those pointy, little needles.
How was she supposed to
stay calm at that?
When Emmy had been just a
few weeks old and was supposed to have her first vaccinations, Felicity had sat
down with Oliver and had talked to him about what she needed him to do whenever
their daughter and any future kids were going to have vaccinations or anything
similar. Since she had always been afraid of needles, he had to be the adult in
those cases. She had known that Oliver had been about to freak out about Emmeline’s
first vaccination because his little princess being hurt by a needle had not
been something he had felt comfortable with. But as soon as she had pointed out
that she couldn’t be the calm in this, he had been perfectly trying to be calm
and to calm Emmeline down. And it had worked.
So Oliver not being here
now was a really, really, really bad thing. Those were the first vaccinations
Emmeline was going to have without her daddy being there to distract her. This
was going to be a mess, Felicity was almost completely sure of that.
She knew what Oliver always
did to comfort Emmy when there were needles or other supposedly painful things
around. The first thing to do was playing with her favorite toy. Right now it
was a pink plush elephant that Felicity of course had put into her bag before
coming here. Then Oliver always sang some stupid song he invented only for her,
clapping his hands while singing it and making funny faces. And right after the
injection he gave her some candy. So of course Felicity had brought some
chocolate with her as well.
Still, she felt like she
was going to suck at distracting Emmeline. She was good at it under less
serious, less worrying circumstances. The moment she was going to see the needles,
though, she would just pass out or become all pale and stiff.
“Mrs. Queen?” the doctor’s
receptionist asked, approaching her with a friendly smile. “Emmy’s the next
Pressing her daughter a
little more tightly to her chest, Felicity got up and followed the young woman
into the treatment room where she sat back down in front of the desk, looking
around at all the happy children smiling at her from posters. Was she the only
one who did not find any comfort in that many eyes staring back at her?
How come she had never
noticed those posters or rather how strange they were. The posters had always
been there, but those eyes hadn’t always been so… staring.
Her daughter’s quiet voice pulled
her out of her thoughts, and Felicity realized that Emmeline was looking at her
with a frown she had clearly inherited by her father. She looked almost
concerned which Felicity thought couldn’t be exactly possible at her young age
of only a little more than a year and a half. Hastily Felicity smiled to not
have Emmeline start crying before the doctor had even entered the room, but
Emmy’s frown stayed.
“Daddy coming?” Emmeline asked, cocking her
“No, daddy is working,”
Felicity answered, smiling while running her fingers through her daughter’s
Sighing, Emmeline leaned
her head forward until her cheek rested against her mother’s shoulder. She
snuggled her face to the side of Felicity’s neck and sighed again. Her hand
meanwhile ran up and down the other side of her mother’s neck. Felicity closed
her eyes and let her daughter’s even breathing calm her down. She felt
Emmeline’s regular heartbeat against her own chest and it wasn’t long until her
heartbeat matched her daughter’s.
“Mrs. Queen,” Dr. Sanders
interrupted the silence way too soon for Felicity’s liking, “I am sorry you had
to wait. One of my younger patient’s did not get along with the syringes.”
“I have no idea why,”
Felicity muttered under her breath, but gave the doctor a friendly smile.
“Hi, Emmy,” Dr. Sanders
then greeted Emmeline. “Where did you leave your handsome daddy?”
“He’s working and couldn’t
make it,” Felicity explained with a shrug of her shoulders.
Dr. Sanders gave her a soft
smile and sat down behind her desk, looking at Emmeline’s file shortly before
saying, “Three injections today. Well, that shouldn’t be a problem since Emmy
is my favorite patient for syringes. I have barely ever met a child who is so
quiet while having vaccinations at that young age.”
Felicity bit her tongue to
stop herself from telling Dr. Sanders that today might be an exception from
“So, let’s get started,”
Dr. Sanders suggested, pulling the bowl with the three syringes closer.
Felicity turned her chair
around so Dr. Sanders had better access to Emmeline’s thigh where she was
usually injected. Even if her baby fat was almost all gone by now, her thigh
was still a little wobbly, so it was the perfect spot for injections.
“Look, Emmy, what I’ve got
here,” Felicity said, trying to make her voice sound as calm as possible while
she pulled the pink elephant out of her bag.
She tried to concentrate on
waving the toy in front of Emmeline’s eyes, letting the tip of the trunk brush
Emmeline’s nose to make her giggle, but she could see Dr. Sanders approaching
from the corner of her eyes and it made her heartbeat fasten. The thought of
seeing needles made her stomach cramp.
“Mummy!” Emmeline exclaimed
laughing, taking the toy from Felicity’s hands to brush it against her mother’s
face again and again.
This was not going to work
to distract her, Felicity thought, thinking about a song to sing, but the
knowledge of needles being right next to her was enough to make her brain shut
down. It just refused to remember any song she usually sang for Emmy and she
sang a lot of songs for or her with her lately. Even if Felicity was the one to
actually sing the song, Emmy was doing her best to imitate her mother’s sounds.
But those needles were distracting her from any of songs and the memories of mother-daughter-time.
She couldn’t see the syringes, but she knew they were there.
“Mummy!” Emmeline exclaimed
When Felicity focused her
attention back on her daughter, the little girl let the toy drop to the floor
and instead began to move her wrists in circles, chanting syllables that were
probably supposed to be words nobody understood but her. It wasn’t until she
sang “All day long” – okay, it sounded more like “Owl ay ol”, but Felicity had
heard the same singsong often enough to know what it was supposed to mean –
until she got what Emmeline was doing.
“Are you singing ‘The
wheels on the bus’ for me?” she asked, cocking her head and Emmeline laughed
before turning her wrists in circles once more and repeating her singing of
“All day long”.
“That’s it,” Dr. Sanders
stated before Felicity could even progress what just had happened here.
Felicity looked up in
question. “You already injected her? All three times?”
Dr. Sanders laughed before
she nodded and answered, “Yes, all three injections given without any crying. And
that is why I love Emmy. She is so unproblematic. I have patients who even
start crying before I come near them with the syringes.”
Wordlessly Felicity looked
at Emmeline who smiled at her mother like she had just given her the biggest
slice of cake she had ever gotten. Without looking away from her daughter’s
face, Felicity reached into her bag and pulled out the piece of chocolate for
Emmeline, but the girl only put her hand around her mother’s wrist and pushed
her to eat the chocolate herself. As soon as Felicity’s lips made contact with
the candy, Emmeline clapped her hands happily.
The next two minutes during
which they said goodbye to Dr. Sanders, Felicity could barely take her eyes
from her daughter. Had that little girl really done all the things Oliver
usually did to calm her down to stop Felicity’s worries about the needles? She
hadn’t even seen one single one of the syringes, and Emmeline hadn’t blinked an
eye when she had been injected.
When they left the doctor’s
office to head towards the car, Felicity’s phone rang. She let Emmeline down to
the floor before picking up. “Hello?”
“Hey, has everything been
going okay?” Oliver asked immediately. “I know how much you hate needles… and
other pointy objects.”
“Yeah, well, I was distracted,”
Felicity explained distantly, watching Emmeline wait at the car. “You know, our
daughter imitated all of your usual comforting things. She offered me her toy,
she sang me a song and I was allowed to eat chocolate.”
“That’s my little girl.”
“Well, we are going to go
home now, and I will reward Emmy with a lot of ice cream.”
“Have fun,” Oliver
responded, the smile audible in his voice. “I’ll be joining you as soon as I am
finished here. It might take a few more hours, though.”
“I cannot guarantee that there will still be
ice cream when you come home.”
“Yeah, just rub salt in the
wound, honey,” Oliver chuckled.
Felicity laughed, saying,
“I gotta go. Ice cream is waiting for Emmy and me. I love you.”
“I love you, too. See you
Still smiling, Felicity put
her phone to her bag and lifted Emmeline into her arms to put her in the car
seat. But before she could open the door, Emmy tugged at a strand of her hair,
demanding her mother’s attention.
“What’s up, sweetheart?”
“Luv you,” Emmeline repeated,
once again tugging at her mother’s hair until Felicity ducked her head down,
and Emmeline could press a short kiss to her mother’s lips.
“I love you, too, Emmy,”
Felicity responded, smiling. Emmeline laughed, hiding her face behind her hands
as if she was ashamed. Felicity pressed a short kiss to her daughter’s hair,
asking, “How about we call daddy and tell him you’ve said those words to me
Oliver was most certainly
going to complain about this. Felicity was amused just by the thought of it.
Since Emmy was usually more of a daddy’s girl, both of them had expected that
their daughter was going to say those words to him first. God, she could tease
him with that for the rest of their lives, Felicity thought with a big grin.
She would probably start as soon as he was home.