sport is a selfie taking shit

day 3: AUs

did someone say legends college au 

  • gotta stay true 2 canon: rip is that guy that doesn’t sleep. he’s a double major (history + engineering) and like Holy shit is he dead inside. someone Please help him. also because I Can, miranda is his gf who is at least 5x better than him, also a double major (almost a triple) and she’s the kind of person who’s always organized + gets shit done on time? this is ridiculous rip is dying. 
  • Catch them in the library, miranda taking notes from three books at a time, rip asleep with a book covering his head. he’s snoring gently. she looks fondly at him every couple of minutes. eventually, she leans over and takes a selfie for snapchat. it’s great.
  • jax took courses at a community college during high school (while also doing sports!) so he Technically has the same standing as the rest of the gang. martin is a professor part time, and he and jax worked on a project together when jax was in the community college so they know each other pretty well. 
  • ray is actually doing his third degree and he’s so damn smug about it. someone smack him. no one actually knows what mick is doing. it’s not Confirmed if he’s a student or what. no one really cares to ask. 
  • sara is a Humanities major. that’s all anyone knows. kendra is a fine arts major w/ a history minor. she’s also in a Singing Group and always invites the gang to her performances. carter is her Bf who is always out of town so a lot people always think he’s Dead.
  • amaya is also here because y’all should know how gay i am already, and she’s definitely an activist or something. it’s lit. sort of dating sara? it’s Complicated (not really but they like to say it is). also sort of dating kendra? amaya, the Lesbian Icon we Deserve ,,
  • Anyways jonah is from Out of Town and he comes visit once and like Rip Is Dying? they’re not Technically exes because they never really ~Dated~ but also rip stole jonah’s coat. it’s Gay™ and you can cut the tension with a knife.
  • miranda, who is definitely known as rip’s Better Half ,,
  • okay but jax, ray, and rip taking the same level course + subject (some kind of unholy lovechild of theoretical physics and math concepts), and ray is actually, like, stumped on a problem. he asks rip but rip just. laughs. because he is so behind on work. he buries his head in his arms. Someone save him. then ray asks jax, who definitely figured it out, and is definitely holding the answer hostage to get the Most out of this experience.
  • jax: hey, rip, can i borrow a pencil?
  • rip hunter, who has never owned a pencil in his entire life, who only has a pen that’s out of ink in his bag, whose laptop Begs for death each time he boots it up, but can’t die because it’s has rip’s everything on it, looking tired and defeated: i’m not even sure i’m supposed to be in this class.
  • martin teaches a course or two but u can bet the legends invade his class. ray actually gets in an argument with him at one point despite the fact that he’s not even supposed to be here, ray get out of this classroom. rip recorded it. jax couldn’t stop laughing.
  • rip’s instagram is 45% hipster pictures with the sepia filter, 45% candids of miranda, 9% sara stealing his phone and taking selfies with kendra, 1% a cat that keeps following him that he’s going to keep as soon as he can catch it.
  • the group chat is 110% memes.


It was a tables match.

First one to go through a table loses.

I hope everyone can appreciate this now

More people should watch WWE, to be honest. The amount of fuckery like the gif above that happens on this show, all while being live, is fucking glorious and you can’t help but keel over laughing sometimes

Like, some of these guys’ wrestling persona are just

like we got a guy who salsa’s all the time and kanye west’s people by yelling FANDANGO

a guy who never stops taking selfies (even during matches) also his phone is hooked up to the giant screen so you literally watch him take all these selfies

an old guy who goes around and propagates about illegals crossing the border and a whole bunch of racist shit but the shit he says is so ridiculous that no one ever really takes him as a serious racist, for example:

External image

i really could go on

i really cant even with this shit sometimes

but yeah, you guys should watch it

anonymous asked:

Riarkle headcanon for wtf they were doing when they were supposed to be editing the yearbook?!

  • taking a million cute selfies of themselves rather than pictures to use in the actual yearbook
  • “Riley come on we have to get pictures of all the murals and a couple sports teams.”
  • Racing rolling chairs down empty hallways OBVIOUSLY
  • Like they’d just be rolling around the room to get shit but then Riley will really aggressively bump into his chair and roll herself out the door and he’s like ‘OKAY ITS FUCKING ON MATTHEWS’
  • They can waste like a solid hour on that
  • Riley blasts music on her phone the whole time too they’re such losers
  • They’re rolling and spinning around at the same time one of them always gets hurt
  • “What if we tried to accomplish everything we need to do today with our shoelaces tied together???”
  • “Riley no,”
  • And then he does absolutely nothing to stop her so they trip all over the place and keep accidentally breaking things
  • They’ll look forlornly at all the shit they need to do, make eye contact, and whip out their fucking games and are like ‘lessgo’
  • Annoying Cory
  • Who’s trying to grade papers/run a club depending on the day
  • And they’ll be bugging the life out of him with really stupid questions they know will annoy him or distracting his students for what they need to do or barging in demanding stories from his Golden Days just so they can make fun of him lmao
  • One time he was out of his classroom so Riley and Farkle moved everything in there a couple centimeters to the left and then watched him go crazy as he couldn’t figure out what was wrong
  • Farkle ALWAYS falls asleep while they’re supposed to be working
  • Usually Riley will just leave him be and finish by herself
  • But one time he woke up and she’s giving him a funny look but insists it’s nothing right, she’s just like ‘lol you were snoring it was cute’
  • So they finish up and Cory comes to walk them home and he smiles but says nothing
  • And they walk like the five fucking blocks to his house
  • Pass hundreds of people. Stopped in a Starbucks and got drinks
  • All of the security staff around his house
  • Says bye to the Matthews
  • Passes his parents
  • Gets up to his bedroom
  • Heads into the bathroom
  • Catches his reflection in the mirror
  • He screams for like an hour and it takes him two and a half days to get the paint completely off his face omfg
  • No one will ever let him live it down lmao
  • They argue so much over how the pictures should be displayed/what the page spreads should look like
  • They can never agree
  • They always call Cory for tie-breaker
  • He almost always sides with Riley
  • Farkle is outraged at the blatant nepotism and Cory’s like ‘ask for a different teachers opinion then???” and Farkle’s like ‘they literally all tell us to fuck off you’re the only one omfg”
  • Farkle always starts singing Seasons of Love from rent to piss Riley off
  • Bc she’s always going off on tangents like ‘oh wow look how much we’ve grown in the past year’
  • And she’ll be hyper focused on doing something and he’ll creep up behind her and scream/sing in her ear “FIVE HUNDREND TWENTY FIVE THOUSAND SIX HUNDRED MINNNNNUTES” and she’s screaming and trying to punch him bc dammit Farkle this is NOT THE TIME for emotions!!!
  • This is before Donnie Barnes clothing obviously so I don’t know if anyone noticed but in early season 2 Farkle was always wearing like fucking 3 or 4 shirts at once????
  • Like in season 1 it was only usually a turtleneck and something over that but in season 2 it’s usually turtleneck/sweater/button up or something else
  • And Riley’s fucking horrified bc this boy will give himself a heatstroke she’s sure of it she can SEE him sweating why is he doing this to himself
  • So she’s always trying to steal his shirts omfg
  • Like he’ll be sitting there writing something and suddenly she’s trying to rip his sweater off his body and he’s like “RILEY” and she’s like “I WONT LET YOU DIE” omfg
  • Cory and the Vice Principal walked in on that one time that was quite a scene they had to explain
  • A few times she manages to steal his weirdly-patterned button ups and he’ll be like ‘GIVE IT BACK’ but she’s already slipping it on over her clothes going ‘sorry the results are in I’m cuter than you’
  • And no matter how much she doesn’t want to wear his sweaty shirt that has sharks and pandas on it, she knows that’s the only way he’ll stop trying to steal it back. Bc while she has no qualms about attacking him and ripping a shirt off his body, he wouldn’t DARE do the same to her lmao
  • They’ll be working silently than all the sudden one of them will ask a really fucking random question like “what if WE’RE the aliens!” and then they’ll waste the rest of the time in a heated debate about it
  • One time Farkle was carrying a huge pile of pictures, spreads, cameras, forms, basically literally everything they needed
  • Everything is all over the floor
  • And Riley and Farkle are staring at this huge mess in silence for a few moments
  • And then Riley’s like “What if we…just go and get some ice cream.”
  • And he nods and they just peace the fuck out so they can blame the mess on someone else later lmao
  • “Farkle no we cannot sneak Percy Jackson puns into the yearbook.”
  • One time Farkle lost a contact like at the end of the school day so he had to put his glasses on and Riley chased him around with a red sharpie trying to draw a lightning bolt on his forehead
  • “What if I just made a page declaring I have more A’s than you??? Nothing would be able to stop me.”
  • “My foot between your legs would probably stop you.”
  • “…Noted.”
  • Riley constantly screaming about Farkle’s growth spurt
  • Every time she notices a new centimeter she starts trying to fight him
  • One time they literally just walked into the room and immediately decided to just watch the Lion King instead of getting any work done
  • Cory accidentally let slip that there’s an xbox in the teacher’s lounge so they’re always trying to sneak in there to play Mario Kart
  • Every time they have to take pictures of clubs they’ll waste so much time with the Art Club just to mess with Maya
  • Like they’ll make them redo the picture a million times, ‘no guys put the STAR in the middle please she’s tiny we need to see her!”,  constantly taking pictures of Maya and then going ‘whoops my finger slipped!!!’ lol
  • Maya acts annoyed but she laughs and blushes the whole time lmao
  • Alternatively, when taking pictures of the softball team, Farkle’s like ‘Lucas you’re too tall you need to back up…no further! FURTHER LUCAS”
  • Lucas will be an entire field away from the team before Farkle is like “PERFECT” and starts snapping pictures and Riley and all the players are cracking up
  • They were working on one spread and Farkle was like “Is it possible to add glitter to these? I feel like we need glitter.” and Riley just pulls a huge fucking jar of glitter out of her backpack and whispers “I thought you’d never ask” and Farkle groans bc he probably shouldn’t have said anything
  • Impromptu dance parties
  • Basically Riley and Farkle are fucking dorks who have a very hard time actually focusing on the yearbook that LITERALLY THEY WERE THE ONLY TWO WHO SIGNED UP TO WORK ON IT YOU’ D THINK THEY’D BE MORE DEDICATED
  • but no they get distracted quite a lot and that leaves a lot of time for people to sneak in and mess with categories lmao
  • riarkle <3

1. who has to stop who from buying all kinds of weird shit from infomercials

2. who blasts love songs on the boombox outside the window to try to make up for their mistakes

3. who makes grossed out faces about lame lovey dovey shit

4. who listens to macklemore, and is it ironic or sincere

5. who takes really unflattering selfies of who

6. who tries on really tacky clothes and who says they’re not gonna be caught dead around the other if they’re wearing that

7. who likes minions, and is it ironic or sincere

8. who’s here to Win during multiplayer games / team or non-team sports / any activity that could be vaguely competitive

9. who always gets caught in the up dog type jokes

10. who wears socks with sandals

I don’t get people who say Canadian politics is boring like wtf are you talking about: 

  • Our most successful PM was seriously into the occult and paid mediums to talk to his dead mother and dead dogs all of whom were named Pat [Pat I Pat II and Pat III] he also tried to talk to Leonardo Di Vinci 
  • During World War II Canadian forces, supplies and military connections were very important so both Churchill and FDR had to keep Mackenzie King a for mentioned PM happy but they both disliked him so they literally bitched about him to each other - King didn’t care all he wanted was the photo-op because that was his reelection - King only cared about winning 
  • Mackenzie King this dude alone is a riot okay, was in power long enough to cause one of the biggest constitutional crises in the commonwealth, not just Canada but the fucking commonwealth- but because of the dairies he kept all the crap he did came out,including the fact he believed in the occult, when he was alive know one knew it was his fault or that he was wacko 
  • King basically resigned when he was called out for corruption (he was corrupt baby) and so Canada didn’t have a PM for a bit (he got back into office through some shady moves and an election full of lies)
  • One of the turning points of a federal election was a picture that showed a possible PM looking nonathletic despite being an all star athlete 
  • Pierre Elliot Trudeau the man that created the Charter of Rights and Freedoms, brought home the constitution, also had a period of mass hysteria surrounding him called Trudeaumania - John Lennon himself admired Trudeau
  • Pierre though turned out to  be a bit of an egomaniac and an asshole to a lot of people - Alberta hated him big time
  • Trudeau’s wife, who was 20 something years younger than him left him while he was in office and started dating members of the rolling stones, and a Kennedy - big embarrassment for Trudeau who had to raise three kids on his own, one of whom becomes the PM himself (he didn’t do so bad as it turns out) 
  • Literally everything Pierre Trudeau did was entertaining af - he jumped on trampolines, danced infront of/disrespected the Queen, told people off, humiliated Alberta government officials like this dude was a straight up hippie at times, which was why he was elected the first time tbh 
  • Trudeau was also the only western leader to be friends with Castro - he did it in part to piss of the Americans (who did loss their shit) but Castro did end up Trudeau’s funeral 
  • We have had PM’s that lasted only a couple months - or days 
  • One of our PM wrote a book on Hockey and was a Hockey expert - idc what the rest of the world thinks that’s interesting k 
  • The same PM also had a picture done of him (not with permission but still) nude and it hung in a public library for a month - the PM’s response was he was a cat person not a dog person as it depicted him with a dog not a cat [its Harper okay I know why would someone paint him nude in the first place?]
  • In 2008 a separatist movement  was days away from getting significant power in federal government because the liberals and the NDP hated Harper so much - they joined forces with literal separatists
  • Canada has had a multiple separatist crises, but we just joke about it, the damn Quebecquers but they still to this day reelect separatist party members - Canada is basically divided between English Canada and French Canada - politics around this rivalry are intense 
  • Our first ever PM was a notorious alcoholic but he is beloved 
  • We have had a Noble Prize Winner as PM  
  • Our Party politics are notoriously sneaky, during 2008 the world economy was diving and newly elected PM Harper used that as a chance to try and destroy the liberal party - he almost lost his PMship post over it 
  • Plus inter-province rivalries are insane, the west hates Ontario and Quebec because they think they are the center of the world, and Ontario and Quebec hate each other and everyone else because we have to act like we are the center of the world + no one gives a shit about the territories 
  • A former conservative prime minster was rescued by a prominent liberal when he almost drowned in Barbados (where they both vacationed) his response was outrage at being saved by a liberal 
  • Currently our PM known for being hot and taking selfies but he elbowed someone during a parliament session ~ elbow gate
  • But truly Canadian politics is a blood sport - its party versus opposition, unlike the US you are facing off against your opponent on everything, all during the year
  • inter party rivalries are intense too - Stephen Harper formed the current conservative party by stabbing his own mentor in the back metaphorically speaking
  • Cretian ran again for PM partly to spite Paul Martin who had been trying to become liberal leader BTW Party discipline is the strongest in Canada so doing this is a major political risk

Dude this is barely half the shit that goes on in Canadian politics like, its hell of a lot more interesting than people give it credit for, but more importantly Canadians you should pay attention because it does affect you, and at times the rest of the world. 

`Who are you?

I’m a traveller, writer, and nerdlord who spends way too much time watching sports anime. My mom laughs at me because all my husbands are fictional. And I just took my braces off (hallelujah) and like baggy t-shirts for pajamas.

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