the signs as alton on cutthroat kitchen
  • Aries: "feel them. heft them. smell them. fondle them, if you'd like."
  • Taurus: "sounds good and i'm not even pregnant."
  • Gemini: "aw, that's sweet. in a kind of nauseating kind of way."
  • Cancer: "there's a thin line between brûlée and pompeii"
  • Leo: "smells like hope laced with desperation and fear."
  • Virgo: "i have never worked with toaster pastry, other than inhaling them."
  • Libra: "you're a naughty girl and i like it."
  • Scorpio: "can you give me $5100? oh wait, YOU DON'T HAVE $5000!"
  • Sagittarius: "my god, what's happening to america's youth?"
  • Capricorn: "we soak the hopes and dreams of chefs in a salty soup of tears."
  • Aquarius: "this just became a very expensive sporf."
  • Pisces: "watching you do that made me just a little bit uncomfortable."