Hey guys! I really hate to do this, but I’m in a very rough spot right now and I need some help.

I am mentally ill and neurologically disabled (for specifics message me off anon) and lost my job a few months ago because of that. I applied for disability income, which is taking a long time to process, and have been working any odd-jobs I can find and manage in the meantime. However, I’m still about $300 short on rent and bills. My family has been helping me when they can, but it’s getting to the point where I can’t keep asking for large amounts of money.

If you could commission me, I would really, really appreciate it! I would prefer to do commissions for money, but if you can’t afford/don’t want a commission but still want to help out, you can donate a couple bucks here.

Any money from commissions will go to rent/bills/bus fare, and if there’s any left over from that it’s going to go toward savings for a service dog (so I can hopefully leave the house by myself more safely!) If you have any more questions please feel free to message me.

Please help out a trans disabled witch

This is the first (and hopefully the last) time I’ll do this: I really need your help. 

I don’t talk about it much on this blog, but I have Ehlers Danlos Syndrome (Type 3). I suffer widespread joint pain and frequent subluxations and dislocations. Recently, this has been particularly bad in my hands, which is part of the reason why I haven’t been around much, as it’s incredibly painful to type and write. 

Which is where the real problems kick in: I’m going back to university soon, which requires - you guessed it - a hell of a lot of typing and writing. 

I have found these ring splints, which can prevent my fingers from hyperextending, thereby reducing my pain and the number of dislocations and subluxations that will happen. I’ve bought two so far, and they’re really helping, but I have issues in multiple fingers and I can’t afford further splints right now. My parents are unsupportive and abusive, so I can’t ask them for help either.

I’m hoping to raise $123 (£94) to buy the splints I desperately need, through donations in exchange for tarot readings and sigil requests.

For a cost breakdown, I need three of these at $21 each, and one more of these at $45, plus $15 for shipping

Please, if you can send a dollar or two my way I’d be immensely grateful. Or just signal boost if you can’t.

Donate safely and securely through paypal here

My body hates me.
  • Me:okay I'm going to sleep now
  • Brain:but I want to over think things
  • Me:no you don't want to do that that's bad, I took the antidepressants why would you do such a thing?!!?
  • Hips:I'm hurting, so you're not sleeping
  • Me:but I took my pain killers, why are you still sore!?
  • Shoulders:you're leaning on me, so now I'm hurting too
  • Me:you too!? Do you guys even like me??
  • Back, hips, shoulders, brain:nope! We just like watching you suffer
  • Pain killers:we don't work we just keep your doctor in business. Just an FYI
  • Me:EVERYONE JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP I'M TRYING TO SLEEP!
  • Body:uhhhhhh angel I think I need to ...
  • Me:what is it!??!
  • Me:*runs to toilet in middle of night, dislocates hips on way*
  • IBS:just thought I'd say hi and now I'm leaving
  • Me:*sighs, gives up, goes and binge watches an entire series and doesn't sleep*
  • Here's the harsh reality of having a body that hates you. Yay ehlers danlos syndrome!

For some reason, I really hate the word valid. I see posts all the time saying such-and-such is valid, and to me it almost feels patronizing. I don’t know why. It’s just an automatic cringe and eye roll every time I see it, even when it’s something directly related to me like autism or chronic illness. I don’t disagree with the message; it’s just the wording causes an instant negative reaction. Am I the only one?

So I met this woman (who’s at least 10 years older than me) at a board games night my parents hosted a few weeks ago for their church. She was super sweet & very similar to me in a lot of ways & she was keen to have an in-depth conversation with me about my health journey & I was more than happy to share. She said she admire the way in which I’ve handled all that I’ve been through & that she enjoyed talking to me. It wasn’t patronising like a lot of those conversations can be, just really encouraging.

The next time my parents saw her they told me she was asking about me & said she wished I attended their church (I work at a different church) so she could get to know me better.
Then, just this week, mum told me that she’s invited my parents & myself to dinner with her & her husband so that I can meet her dogs & spend more time chatting. She’s honestly the sweetest.

But the interesting thing is that she has serious mental health issues of her own, & underneath her beautiful, bubbly exterior, she’s really struggling. And in a serious discussion with my dad (who is a minister) she said that she wants to get to know me because she’s amazed by how someone so young can face such difficult circumstances with so much dignity and even tell my story with a smile on my face.

It just kind of blows my mind that my story & my journey can help and inspire others like that, even for people considerably older than me with much more life experience; that my personality is so contagious that someone would go out of their way to spend time with me and learn more about me, to hear my story and learn from it.
And I think that’s why I like to be open about my health journey. Not to “inspire” abled & neurotypical people, but to maybe help the sick/disabled/mentally ill see a little bit of light & believe that if I can fight this fight with dignity, then they can too.
I’m just so incredibly humbled & touched by all this. And I’m really looking forward to this dinner.

notstandingstillsdisease.com
Why I'm Leaving Pillpack
Hasta la pasta for now, PillPack. I hope that, one day, you can get the customer service issue pulled together for your clients. Personally, I don't know that I'll feel comfortable trying your services ever again.

Something to keep in mind, y’all! In some situations, bad customer service is just a pain. But in others, and especially when your meds are at stake, you might not want to risk it :o

[Image: a red YouTube play button with Annie at the center, she has blue hair and red lipstick, in white letters, “5,000 YouTube Subscribers Annie Elainey”]

Thank you so much for 5,000 subscribers! Thank you for supporting me, engaging in dialogue, and being a part of this amazing online fam we’ve got going! It means so much more to me than I am able to express! 

http://youtube.com/theannieelainey
http://patreon.com/annieelainey

Facebook | Tumblr | Instagram | Twitter | YouTube | Snapchat

It’s a month and a few weeks before my birthday. October 3rd. A few days after the new moon in Libra. I am a Libra sun, Virgo moon, Capricorn rising kind of grrl. And my Venus in Leo, so you know I love celebrating myself with the people I love closest to me.

My lovely friends @cristinaraq, Emmett Phan and @squirrelofmystery are supporting me with a birthday fundraiser to buy a Far Infrared heat therapy device that will help me with pain management. After spending a month in Edmonton and getting these treatments from one of my healer’s massage therapists, I experienced unimaginable pain relief. More than I have in the last almost 3 years of chronic pain. And after searching for months, I finally found the device online on Amazon Japan and it is easy to use, by myself or with others supporting me with body work. I’m really excited with all the healing possibilities this might have for me and how cost effective it is (going back to Edmonton from Toronto for treatments at $80 a session is not sustainable in the least). So my friends have pushed me to ask my communities, once again, for support.

The link is http://youcaring.com/managelynxspain

Please share and donate to this fundraiser and support a sustainable pain relief option for me. Anything helps. Anything. I’ve had a few birthday gifts in my time, but trust me when I say that this one would be something special.

#afrogoth
#disability #disabled #spoonie #chronicpain#blackfemme #poetsofinstagram #crowdfunding #libra #virgo #capricorn #venusinleo #birthday (at Toronto, Ontario)

Made with Instagram

a piece of this post really got me thinking

I tend to present as really high-functioning, and take on responsibilities as if I were not disabled. I refuse to let disability “”hold me back””. I refuse to let it show in any way that isn’t carefully constructed to be Positive & Inspiring and/or Nonthreatening To Other People, which is problematic in its own right. And sometimes that’s really, really exhausting. It’s isolating. I just can’t open up the floodgates of the really shitty unflattering frustrating bullshit of mental illness unless I really really REALLY trust someone.

Sometimes I have whole days that completely underscored by intrusive thoughts that I just have to ignore. I’ll just experience suicidal ideation out of the blue, even on good days. Something will upset me and I’ll get the physical sensation of being violated over and over again until I’m so tired and detached I can’t do anything. And it’s hard some days. It’s so fucking hard.

How to get rid of any illness

-douche with green tea
-eat an entire jar of coconut oil everyday
-cut gluten,eggs,dairy,MSGs, meats, oxygen, and sugar out of your diet
-never stop doing yoga, you have to do it every second of your life. Sleep in downward dog, shower in warrior position, walk on your hands
-shove kale up your ass

And last, but not least
- just be happy all the time. You know, the only real disability in life is a bad attitude

I can’t believe this needs to be said, but…

- Withholding medication from a disabled person is not a joke, it’s not a punishment, it’s abuse.

- Withholding mobility equipment from a disabled person is not a joke, it’s not a punishment, it’s abuse.

- Withholding stim toys, comfort items or similar from a disabled person is not a joke, it’s not a punishment, it’s abuse.

- Stopping a disabled person from using harmless routines or coping mechanism is not a joke, it’s not a punishment, it’s abuse.

Stop.

Tips for Disabled and Mentally Ill Pokemon Go Players
  • define your limits. do not use up spoons you know you will need later. your health and daily care is more important than pokemon (believe it or not)
  • you don’t necessarily have to walk to hatch eggs or record distance! any slow form of transportation will do.
  • turn the game off when you are feeling worn out. eliminate the temptation to play if you are overwhelmed. this is permission to not hunt down every pokemon and instead rest. 
  • when you go to a pokestop, it will refresh every five minutes. you don’t have to visit a lot of stops, but instead can sit at one pokestop for awhile
  • drink extra water. even if you don’t feel thirsty. it’s very hot out and many medications can cause you to dehydrate and over heat a lot faster.
  • bring snacks with you. you may notice your spoons depleting faster than normal because of heat or location, so bring a little something to boost your energy
  • if you are worried people are watching you and your anxiety is getting the better of you, it’s okay! most people honestly don’t care about what you are up to and if someone asks, just say “im playing a game that’s making me find things on a map” or something similar. 
  • you don’t have to go into buildings to activate a pokestop (the only exceptions ive seen are the mall and a school), so you dont need to worry about explaining yourself to anyone. 
  • sit down on a curb if you need to. benches, big rocks, whatever. take a rest when you need it.
  • if you need a mobility aid, or are worried you might need it after awhile, use it! it does not make you a lesser trainer.
  • if you only have the energy to go around your neighborhood and not explore farther, that is okay! you can do a lot with neighborhood pokemon if you want to!
  • depression and low spoons suck. you don’t have to go out and work on this game today. your pokemon don’t want you to feel bad. focus on yourself first! the game will wait for you!
  • when the server is down, it will come back. check it at half hour intervals. it’s not something you need to waste energy worrying about. you wont miss anything, your adventure will be there later.
  • when a pokemon escapes, disappears, or runs away, it’s not your fault. it’s okay, you will get another chance to catch it.
  • you don’t have to battle if you don’t want to. there are guides online with very clear instructions and examples if you still want to and are nervous.
  • please don’t explore areas that you feel you will be unsafe in. you are worth more than a pokemon.

tldr; please please please don’t feel pressured with this game. you and your health are the most important thing. your pokemon dont want you hurting or struggling. take care of yourself