spoof account

Short but accurate summaries of popular books/series: part 4
  • Delirium: A bunch of people in the government can't get laid and decide to take it out on everyone else.
  • Matched: The Dystopian YA spoof twitter account has a more original terminology than this series.
  • Mistborn: In addition to magic powers, poisoning from regularly ingesting toxic compounds is a non-issue.
  • Earthbound: Mikhail Lomonosov can suck it.
  • Harry Potter: Forget Voldemort, just don't f*** with McGonagall and you'll be fine.
  • More Than This: Plot twist.
  • I'll Give You the Sun: Cinnamon rolls and superstitions
  • The Fault in Our Stars: Teenagers, Cancer, and the Philosophy class I'll never take in college
  • Scott Pilgrim: Welcome to life, Level 1. Would you like to enable the laws of physics?
  • Paper Towns: Why write a note explaining to everyone exactly what's going on when I can try to get charged with vandalism, assault, and breaking and entering. And hey, to top it all off, I'll just throw in a clue hunt leading nowhere for my childhood crush to find.
  • The Cage: I don't care if you're a bunch of sociopaths incapable of understanding human psychology despite claiming to have studied it for years. You put a bunch of high-strung/unstable adolescents in a high-tension environment, the resulting shit-storm is on you.
  • Septimus Heap: Somehow this series manages to change the timeline literally every other book without losing coherency or continuity.
  • Crewel: Teenager learns she has the power to literally do fuck-all with the universe and doesn't immediately destroy it.
  • Gone: Lord of the flies, except with superpowers, racism, aliens, and some stuff that really doesn't belong in the ya category.

Literally this entire time I’ve been operating under the assumption that @dennys was just a really fantastic spoof account but… it’s…….actually the official restaurant’s Tumblr…..incredible

The signs hearing the Devil is in town
  • Aries: dAddyyy!!!!
  • Taurus: *douses self in holy water and begins to do the nae nae while holding a cross* THE ULTIMATE FUCKBOY IS HERE??? IM READY
  • Gemini: HOLY SHIT. I MEAN--UNHOLY SHIT. *laughs and bursts into flames* aw fuck
  • Cancer: *lights candle* its pumpkin spice do u think he'll like it?
  • Leo: mmmmmmm yeah today's actually not a good day for me...maybe he can like come back on tuesday or something? i have a 4 o'clock with dracula and that boy REALLY knows how to suck the life outta things so i might be kinda pooped and stuff :/
  • Virgo: right on time. MWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA *coughs* oh jeez im parched
  • Libra: ooooh he finna blaze it and it aint even 4/20 yet tsk tsk tsk
  • Scorpio: dat boi can dondemn me to an eternal damnation any day ;))) what's his kik? *changes relationship status on fb to "i <3 666"*
  • Sagittarius: *makes spoof twitter account called 'Seten' and cackles to self before getting scared and deleting it*
  • Capricorn: gr8 timing m8. im broke af...*pulls soul out from the deepest crevices of their body* how much can i get for this thing?
  • Aquarius: OOOH netflix and chillin with ma fave villain
  • Pisces: the only thing that's hellish here is ur outfit like gurl i know u like lucy or whatever this chick's name is but pentagrams are SOOOO 90's. like 1690's.

So I had a minor heart attack just now when I checked my fb notifications…

It totally shocked me, then I laughed figuring it’s a spoof account. Last time I looked JS didn’t have any social media accounts. But I looked at it and I dunno.

Do any of you guys know? This can’t be legit right?

But the other funny part is that my comment was on the BL official page’s post, that picture of Tom and Liz at the funeral and it said ‘the time for mourning has come.’ I don’t read their stuff too much anymore because there’s so many TK and DG fans commenting, but sometimes I like to leave snarky comments. And I did on this one and this page liked it!!

It’s funny and unbelievable at the same time! I’m trying not to believe it. If you know the truth, break it to me gently…

Bam’s Contraband Girlfriend (A goofy One-Shot)

A House-Arrest Story 

Request from @darndimples

Some familiar names in this story, look for the @darndimples @jessicamoreno62 @impossiblyluckykryptonite and @loveandpeace292 tags!

Bam paced by the window of his cramped Juneau apartment. He wasn’t used to being alone.he wasn’t used to being this cooped up. He wanted to go outside, get his hands dirty. He wanted to smell the salty sea air from the helm of the integrity. But he was stuck here for the next 29 days, 18 hours and 6 minutes.

He was thankful he and his Dad were just under house arrest and spared actually having to go to jail. But even then, because of the charges, even here and his dad were not allowed in the same location.

He heard a car horn honk and hoped that was the signal he’d been waiting for. He peaked out of the window, seeing his brothers friend, Kenny walking up the sidewalk, to the orange line on the sidewalk that marked Bam’s boundary. He nonchalantly left a bag by the line, whistling as he walked away. When Kenny got back to his truck, he saw Bam peering through the window and waved. Bam waited a few moments, walking out the door and stooped to get the bag.

Once inside he pulled his camera, a cell phone, and a laptop from the bag. He set the items on the coffee table in the living room. He shook his head as the local news station was babbling on, opening the laptop and logging into it. He connected to the open wireless network from his neighbor and felt a sense of relief. As long as he could keep it hidden, this would make his 30 days go by so much faster.

He steered clear of his normal social media outlets, knowing that any activity there might tip someone off and then house arrest would be over and real jail would begin. He stared at the screen for a while as the google homepage stared back at him almost mockingly. Trying to tell himself he wasn’t being conceited, he typed in his own name.

“Joshua Bam Bam Brown” He said out loud as he typed.

Keep reading

How to remove all gps spoofing accounts at once:

Step 1 : Spawn mewtwo in the middle of a dessert or ocean

Step 2 : Leak somewhere that mewtwo has spawned at said location

Step 3 : Wait for gps spoofers to give in to the temptation to catch themselves a sweet legendary pokemon

Step 4 : Ban everyone with a mewtwo

As you can see, this plan is perfect and has no flaws whatsoever. If niantic wants to use this master piece of mine please contact me for legal reasons first.