today i noticed that the river will always flow. white clouds will always turn grey. flowers will always bloom and the sun will shine after the rain. that life can’t be the same. it will change and shift. the days won’t ever be the same. some better then others. and that’s okay. life would be so mundane if it was the same. if we were the same. wouldn’t it be? if you and i liked the same things, spoke the same way. if you and i dressed the same and ate the same things. life will always be a wonderland full of surprises and that’s the best part. we can learn so much from nature and animals about how staying still. being still. can be the worst thing we can do to ourselves.
"My condolences... to anyone who has ever lost me. And, to anyone who got lost in me. Or, to anyone who ever felt they took a loss with me. My apologies, for the misunderstanding or the lack there of. I'm sorry you missed the God in me... and I'm sorry you missed the light. I'm sorry you forgot the way I rose like the moonlight after night with the burden to forgive, eager to feed you, everything. See... I'm a holy woman. I know what it's like to give life to a being without ever needing to press skin against one another. I've practiced how to hold my tongue long enough, I'm afraid I forgot to say goodbye. I'm afraid, you're under the impression that I was made to please you. I was under the impression, you understood me better. The truth is, I'm a superwoman. And some days, I'm an angry woman...and some days, I'm a crazy woman... for still waiting, for still loving harder even if I'm aching... for still trusting that I'm still worth the most, for still searching, for someone to understand me better."
I’m sorry I broke your heart. Your love is a storm I can no longer partake in. As you nurse the heart I broke ; you will see it sing again. And slowly your heart will realize that it was better off without me. And I apologize for holding it in the first place.
the rain is falling on the sun roof surface, but i swear i can still hear your heart beating louder. last night you confessed the long awaited love you had for me, and honestly i didn’t know if i would let you in, but now we’re here. and we’re making out in your car, and your hand is touching my face, with mine in your soft brown hair. you’re nervous, as am i. this is new, but it is something i am willing to try. i don’t know if i’m over my last, but you are making me forget that he ever existed. i don’t know if this will last, i don’t know if i’m making a mistake, i don’t know if i’ll fall in love. but right now i’m not going to think about it, you smile during the kiss. we break apart. we slow down our breathing, you kiss my forehead. then start the engine up again. you start driving to the next destination, this is something that i never want to end.
You’ve got baggage to last you a lifetime,
silly regrets suppressed in your memory,
and you are nothing but a series of making the mistakes that you never learn from.
I could never lead my life with such recklessness,
taking no time to heal old wounds,
instead, giving half loving love to lovers whose name you stumble on when you’re drunk.
It is not my duty to tell you you’re wrong,
but God, isn’t it frustrating to have loved someone who used you as a pawn,
who played you like all her others,
who sold them to you as the evil in her story.
Victims are sad humans who don’t know how to be anything else,
who hide out in the shadows,
who lurk for the lovers who are sold as weak because of the scent of their empathy.
I no longer hold one understanding bone in my body for you,
now built with a stronger structure,
that will never allow toxic creatures to toxify my soul again.
I am the stone and you are a glass house.
I can see right through you.
I know how breakable you are;
I am not. Not anymore.
One day you will shatter, but I will no longer cut myself on all your pieces, (coloringtheworldwithwords)
love, there’s so much i need to ask and vent to you about. do you have some time? a lot has been on my mind and who better else is there to talk to about love but you, love? and although i don’t always listen to you when you speak to me i really need you to hear me out this time.. i hear your name called out by many different people, including me. we all say many things about you, good and bad. we also have our own conceptions of who we believe you are and what you mean to us. but for now i can only speak from my own standpoint and the relationship we share. sometimes i feel like i can do everything on my own without you and that i don’t need you, only to find out that nothing is possible without you, love. nothing at all. and i’ve truly realized that.
i heard you whisper my name in my ear last night. you came to me. it was around 12 AM. that’s when you know i like to get high in my backyard. i heard you say to me that you will never hurt me. so anything that ever did wasn’t you. i heard you say that you won’t turn your back on me even when the others will. i heard you say you believe in me so i should believe in you too. i even heard you say that you’re bigger than the universe that surrounds me and the stars that gaze above me. nothing can compare to you. i heard you say that you’re a breath of fresh air born in the crack of dawn and like the wind, you’re everywhere. you told me that no drug is capable of taking me higher than you already do. i heard you say that twice cause the blunt in my hand wasn’t going to outshine you. i heard you sing higher than sopranos that night and each note sent chills through every fiber of my being. we swayed along with the fireflies as we danced together. i heard you say your touch is as soft as silk. i said to you, gentle, yes you are. smooth and subtle. i heard you say that you’re cooler than an autumn breeze and warmer than summer beams and palm trees. you told me you can piece anything broken back together because it all resides in you. and only you. your presence can light up any room when you walk in, and everyone stops to listen when you talk. you’re free-flowing and never too difficult. and not even gravity can defy you. you’re often misunderstood and mistaken. you told me you’re tired of people running from you even though you’d never leave them forsaken. and how you feel you’re not given enough credit. so i’ll give it to you. you’re constructed of passion, and not even the most fruitful garden is as sweet as you. angels sung your melodies repeatedly that night and never missed a solitary note. i’m worth the wait. i’m fearless and i should never fear her. i’m intense and make every bit of sense is what she told me.
i really talked to love that night. man she told me everything. one day we’ll all meet her.
I don’t know how far I walked before I hit the sand dunes of despair.
It seems I’ve travelled miles beneath these bare feet before I reached the sunset but, God, the sand dunes came so soon.
I’ve forgotten what it feels like to drown out my thoughts in the sound of the waves,
to hear the whispers of promises from the sky and the moon,
to wash away the sins of my past,
forgiveness trickling over my toes reminding me that the ocean never gives up on its shore.
There is beauty in the unknown and there is beauty in solidarity and I am the epitome of the traveler who takes the road less traveled by.
There’s much to say about those who walk miles to chase the sunset and, here, in this moment, with darkness fell behind me I am able to feel hope in my veins,
pulsing to the steadiness of the tide.
I use the sunset to guide my way and the moon to comfort me from behind,
a gentle reminder that there’s always enough light to turn around and come back home.
There’s always a light guiding you through the darkness, (coloringtheworldwithwords)