If I had to name one of the most unsettling moments of SPN this would certainly be one of them because though I think Jensen and Alaina had amazing chemistry and rocked this scene, it is yet another moment in which Dean is subjected to violence, but also threatened with outright sexual abuse and possession. That said, to me this scene in early S9 at the same time is also one of he most poignant ones as it touches on so much that lies ahead for Dean and the MoC arc. And most importantly this entire scene imo is getting replayed in 10x02 “Reichenbach” setting and tone wise with Dean taking Abaddon’s place as a demon and Knight of Hell in his fight against Cole (see gifset here). Abaddon is what Dean is about to become over the course of the season. And here they are, two soldiers facing off against one another. The parallels existing between Abaddon and Demon!Dean I also had briefly touched on in this gifset. Aside from these big parallels, I think the devil - as so often - lies in the details.
Abaddon emphasizing Dean to be the perfect vessel and threatening to possesshim, making him watch - which directly connects to Dean’s observer status in S11 and his “I was just a witness” - not only reminds of Dean’s role as Michael’s vessel, but also foreshadows how the mark essentially takes away Dean’s free will and turns him into its puppet to sate it’s bloodthirst. The horror scenarios Abaddon throws at Dean here, in this regard feel foreboding to Dean going off the deep end towards the end of S10, but also serves as a callback to Dean’s time in Hell imo. The show never explored it in depth, but I think it is more than valid to assume that Abaddon’s words brought a few memories back from Hell that Dean would rather not have ever thought about again. In this regard it’s probably good that Abaddon didn’t know that Dean “served in Hell” as that would have made her torture all the much worse probably.
Aside from Abaddon’s threats of “making Dean watch” while killing and the connection to the MoC, to me the even bigger parallel here is the one existing between Abaddon and Amara. What Abaddon threatens with, Amara does. She does effectively paralyze Dean and “wants to become one with him”. She is taking Dean’s agency away completely. A lot of the narrative and what it implied in S11 - and which sadly wasn’t delivered on - relates directly to this moment. And in particular the heavy non con/sexual overtones in Abaddon’s and Dean’s and Amara’s and Dean’s interactions are very similar. Especially Abaddon calling Dean “lover” feels troublingly important in relation to Amara wanting to consume Dean and then opting for a kiss.
Furthermore, probably one of the most tragic bits of what Abaddon says here isn’t centered around the non con bits at all, but comes down to her telling Dean that she’d let him die, quick and easy without any pain involved. This almost feels ironic given Dean tries so hard to die in the following two seasons, wishes he could die so he wouldn’t be a danger, wishes he could die so he could remain being who he is. But exactly that: dying isn’t even an option. Because he is immortal, a Knight of Hell, everything he never wanted to be.
Of course Crowley is talking about Kevin here, but in the end the way he manipulated and got Kevin to flip a switch is very similar to how he manages to manipulate Dean. Because Crowley did find Dean when he was emotionally unstable after the fallout with Sam and baited him with a mission. Similarly prior to this moment he baits Kevin, who is very much emotionally unstable due to the situation at large and his mom for all he knows being dead at that moment to work with him, try and get him to trust him, form a bond about both of them being “prisoners” and manages to get under Kevin’s skin here. Mangaes to “wind him up and watch him go”. It’s so dark that when Kevin dies - like Crowley prophecied him and how he rubs that into Dean’s guilt later too - Dean essentially takes Kevin’s place here. He’s the next one Crowley “winds up and watches go”. And he had the front seat to get there, right in the bunker, Dean and Sam had brought the evil in there themselves. Quite fitting if you think about the fact that the notion that’s always been strengthened in Carver Era is that “the true big bad is internal”…
Also: I find it pretty neat that the tool Kevin uses to have his revenge on Crowley is a hammer of all things. After all one season later, when Dean is sitting in Crowley’s place in that dungeon, once he gets free he stalks after his brother not with a blade in hand, but a hammer…
One of the things I really adored about Carver Era and especially the MoC arc is how situations and confrontations were re-visited and re-explored. One of the most intriguing parallels imo were played between Dean and Abaddon. This here is just one example. Whereas in S9 Dean as a human fought against Abaddon as a knight, one season later he’d take her place in the confrontation with Cole. The alignments of Dean and Abaddon have been strong all throughout S9, but this moment here combined with this one surely are among my personal favourites.