spn bullshit

Another thing that makes me extremely sad and angry is that no matter which role Sam tries to play within his own family, he cannot win.

Sam rebels against John because he doesn’t want to keep hunting forever, he wants a better future and a safe life? He is selfish and he should listen to Dean. Sam tries to make excuses for Mary’s behavior (Dean did the same with John tbh) and tries to keep peace (clumsily) between his mom and his brother? He is naive and he should listen to Dean.

Sam is always shown to be in the wrong dynamic and I’m sick of that, I’m sick of the narrative always being biased against him, I’m sick of seeing Sam being punished for trying to fit into in own family.

I’m fucking tired of this.

Word Vomit About Sam Winchester

So, I just saw a post saying that it was absurd for Sam to ask Dean “Remember Gadreel?” and it got me thinking. For a long time I have been saying the same thing:

SAM WINCHESTER DOES NOT LOVE HIMSELF.

Sam has low self esteem and thinks that he doesn’t really matter. For so many years, he’s just been a martyr looking for a good cause to die for. 

A lot of times, people who have low self esteem or who don’t value themselves very much assume other people feel the same way. Something that is significant to them, they assume doesn’t even register to someone else.

I cannot count the times I have repeated myself to friends. 

“So, I was at this place…”

“One time, I did _____”

Their answers are always “Yes, I know. You told me about that before.”

To me, it’s surprising that they were listening the first time and cared enough to remember it. It just doesn’t seem like anything I do should be registering with them. 

When Sam asked if Dean remembered Gadreel, it was a two part thing. One, he was introducing a new subject. Two, he was basically saying “Look, i know the angel hijacking my body was a big deal for me, but maybe you don’t remember and that’s okay, but…” It’s Sam’s way of saying he feels insignificant and forgettable. 

So, no, it’s not really all that absurd. It’s just proof that Sam needs to love himself more. He’s so much better, stronger, smarter than he thinks he is. He’s not forgettable or replaceable and it kind of breaks my heart that he thinks he is.

Sam, we all remember Gadreel. We remember every good thing and every shitty thing from the past 12 years that has happened to you. You are a precious cinnamon roll, not just a dude looking for a cause. 

3

I don’t even have words for spn anymore. None of this is okay.

I need a full season of monster of the week episodes coming up next, PLEASE.

No angels, no demons, no Lucifer and definitely no abusers-to-allies.

Just Sam and Dean driving through the country in Baby, saving people, hunting things, crashing at shitty motels.

spn theory time

alright, so this kinda just popped into my head after i watched the promos for 12x22/23

we know that misha’s already been signed on to season 13 right?

but that doesn’t necessarily mean cas is going to survive 

i mean, they’ve been doing the whole ‘get to know the character’s backstory better before we kill them’ thing with cas right?

and u no how cas has been really dodge and shit, and how he probs got brainwashed by lucifer’s child/the nephilim baby (nephibaby…hehe)

what happens if misha’s not gonna be portraying cas next season, but the nephibaby instead?

…yeah, that’s not going to happen ignore my rambling pretend i never said anything bye