This is Part 2 of “Two-to-One” from Hazel & Dreamer’s Celebration Challenge. Thanks @wheresthekillswitch for being my beta for parts of this. She helped me swim with the big kids because lord knows I can’t smut worth anything.

Warnings: language, just dip your feet into the water smut, fluffiness

“So, Dean, want any help with – “

Don’t talk to me,” Dean snapped, brushing past my side and limping away towards his room.

“Awww, come on! Don’t be like that,” I whined. He just raised a middle finger high in the air and kept walking.

“You started it!” I yelled after him. I couldn’t help but chuckle quietly at his gimpy walk and the five bright paint splotches that dotted his ass. His choice to shoot me in the neck had come back around to bite him in the butt. Literally.

I turned around to see Sam standing right behind me. “How’s my brave little soldier?” I cooed, gently cupping his face with my hands. He rolled his eyes at me but didn’t pull away.

“Was the double-tap really necessary?” he asked, gesturing to his lower abdomen.

“Hey,” I shrugged, “it could have been worse. I mean, did you see the artwork I made of Dean’s behind?”

Sam’s laughter quickly turned into groans, and he gingerly put his hands over his stomach, “Damn, Y/N, you really got me good.”

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Here's a thought:

What if the Hogwarts sorting process is less about who you are, and more about what you need?

The sorting hat sees a boy thrust into a new world he barely understands, a boy desperate not to blend in with the crowd, and a girl who would sink as deep into her books as she is allowed, and says- what do these children need? They need courage. The courage to keep moving forward despite overwhelming circumstances and high stakes, the courage to see themselves as heroes, the courage to speak up and speak out against injustice.

The hat sees a lost girl whose world has been shattered, who can’t be bothered to fit the world she sees to others’ standards, and says- what does she need? Knowledge. The knowledge of how and why things happen, and the wisdom to accept the things she cannot change.

The hat sees a boy desperate to fill his father’s shoes, used to getting his way and confused at a world that works differently than he was taught. The hat says- he needs power. He needs an identity that will remind him that he has worth, that he can be more than he is.

I wouldn’t want to attend a hogwarts that sorted based on what universal human trait I exhibited most often. I wouldn’t want to attend a hogwarts that sorted similar personalities into uniform groups. I would want to attend a hogwarts that sorts based on its students’ needs, doing its best to help them succeed.

When dumbledore says, “perhaps we sort too soon,” maybe he sees the good that a little bit of courage, instead of a sense of self-worth inflated into superiority, could have done Severus Snape.

Maybe the most dark wizards come out of slytherin because, despite their house’s best intentions, they never quite find the confidence they need there. And it is the unsatisfied, those most disenchanted with the system, who seek to destroy it.

The bag goes in as the kettle’s boiling. So already I’m not in a pot and I don’t have fresh leaves, so already I’m probably alienating several members of the audience. Bag goes in as the kettle’s boiling, water goes on bag. Masting takes place- for that is the correct term- masting takes places until you have a not too thick brown colour. I don’t like spoon-standing-up-in-it strength. I like a very average strength of tea, I like a sort of dark beige, and then I will put in technically a splotch of milk, that’s how much I have, which is about a thumb, a thumb of milk. Circulate with a spoon. Remove bag before drinking it… Some people don’t! They leave the bag in? What is that about? Though you have to do that with a fruit tea…
—  How David Tennant makes tea

It’s a comfort
this dark parking lot
there are no cars
no hands to repel
no vapid murmurs

The only eyes present
are my own
and I see
the yellow lines
and feel welcome here
at peace
with the imperfections
of the pavement