splinterpost

natstar-deactivated20160103  asked:

if a tree falls in the woods and there's no one around to hear it does it feel pain?

Well calling in to question a tree’s ability to talk to other trees and most other parts of nature, “no one" would have to indicate the presence of no other trees or nature at all, so unless the tree is in a fully mechanical setting we must assume the fact that the tree is, in actuality, in a void of complete nothingness. And therefore the tree would fall no where because of the absence of ground, that is to say, if there is even gravity. That said, the tree could be falling up, or indeed, if the laws of physics have been abandoned, perhaps it isn’t even a tree. Maybe it’s a brick. Maybe it’s Beethoven’s 9th. Maybe it’s the tiger. Maybe it’s you. Or some horrible combination thereof. I could continue but it would require extensive mathematics and frankly, there’s no way to test this hypothesis. 

So for now, I’ll just say the answer is FREEZY JUICE POPS FOR EVERYONE