spits on these tags

salvachester  asked:

I just spit my water all over my screen when I saw your tags on my gifset. DYING over #ackleconda and #the adventures of mr ackles and his third leg - LOVE THEM!

omg i just see your ask, really?? thanks to you for your gifset!!! It really is an invaluable contribution for … ahem … my perv .. my scientific research about the existence or not of the third leg of Mr. Ackles. My answer so far, with all the results obtained after a very detailed investigation is that yes, the ackleconda really exists. Here the proofs:

a close caption for sciencific purposes

and of course your wonderful gifset

okay. okay i can’t just start this and not talk about my expectations from tv!lyra
i usually try not to have expectations of any kind (see my approach to doctor who) but it’s impossible when it comes to my all time favorite female character
so, @bbc - 

  • give me a lyra who’s wild
  • give me a lyra who’s got torn, worn hand me down clothes and dirty knees and bruises and scratches all over
  • give me a lyra with twigs in her hair and stars in her eyes
  • give me a rude lyra, a lyra who yells, a lyra who doesn’t (and frankly, can’t) hide her emotions
  • give me a leader lyra, give me a decisive and arrogant lyra
  • give me a lyra who lies without hesitation, who lies like she’s been doing it all her life because she has, give me a deceiving and cunning 11 year old child
  • give me a lyra who’s still CHILDISH as hell, who looks up to the adults she admires like they’re magic, who bluntly acts like she can blend into societies she admires with varying degrees of success (mrs. coulter’s lifestyle, the gyptians, bolvanger - depends on how hard she’s trying to lie and whether she’s just trying to have fun or actually lying for her life)
  • give me lyra’s and pan relationship - something deeper than anything else
  • yet give me a lyra who seems so different from her daemon - from responsible, planner, voice of reason pan who always has to look out for her
  • YET give me lyra and pan who are children and play together and laugh together and act as the one whole being that they are
  • give me the lyra who drove jordan scholars mad
  • give me lyra who lad gangs of street urchins into wars
  • give me lyra who earned the respect and admiration of iorek byrnison, lee scoresby and serafina pekkala (two of which are monarchs)
  • give me lyra goddamn silvertongue

im an extremely avid fan of keith making lance super flustered without even trying… like lance will break out his Highest Quality™ pickup lines and of course keith will get all giddy and flustered but then he’ll reply with a quiet “i really like you too, lance” and just lace their fingers together and smile at him and lance fucking chokes on his spit and combusts on the spot

The different types of Red Queen fans I've seen on my dash

Type 1: the hardcore marecal shipper, actively denies the ending of king’s cage, reads a lot of fluffy fanfiction/aus, cries listening to the RQ4 playlist

Type 2: CAMERON COLE IS THE GREATEST PERSON TO EVER WALK THE EARTH

Type 3: still bitter about shade’s death, probably will never get over it, still sends Victoria asks about it even tho it’s been over a year

Type 4: the Cal Calore fangirl, yells whenever they see a Matthew Daddario gifset, doesn’t like mare that much

Type 5: MAVEN IS BI EVANGELINE IS LESBIAN EVERYONE IN RED QUEEN IS GAY

Type 6: the lowkey marecal shipper, unlike type 1 they actually acknowledge mare and cal’s flaws and don’t think it’s the end of the world if they don’t end up together (but they rly want it to happen)

Type 7: the maven stan, would protect him at all cost, prays for redemption arc in rq4

Type 8: the maven hater, literally DESPISES maven calore and probably wants him to die

Type 9: the in-between maven fan…. thinks he’s an amazing villain but at the same time deserves what’s coming to him

Type 10: I LOVE MARE BARROW SO MUCH SHE IS MY SUN AND STARS AND SPITTING QUEEN

uh taako is a grime stoner,,, he exclusively smokes out of his super old and gross taped together pipe that he literally never cleans (its his ‘lucky pipe’ becus he coughs less when he uses it,, magnus and merle don’t wanna know how much he coughs on any other pipe considering he throws up from coughing too much on a hit nearly daily) or from ‘banana smash’ flavored blunts (”it beats the taste of key lime homie”), he literally always has ashes on his face and residue in nails, like he’ll be fresh out the shower for about 6 seconds before he packs his bowl and gets gross again,,,, taako is a grime stoner

spontaneousam  asked:

Can you write a Daddy!Jensen head canon for him watching Disney movies with the kids and softly singing along to all of the songs because he doesn't want anyone to hear him? Please and thank you 😊

JJ was between his feet, the twins on either side of his thighs, reclined in their boppy pillows and a bottle propped on their tiny fists. This was it, this was what he’d waited his entire life for. 

Yeah, he was tired, he’d changed more diapers today alone than he ever had with JJ, and he’d been watching the same three Disney movies on repeat for days on end, but this was… perfect.

JJ began smacking the back of his calf, squealing as “I See The Light” began, the lanterns floating across the giant television screen signaling the start of the same song he’d already heard twice today. Rapunzel stared off into the glowing night sky and the melody poured from the speakers.

Between his knees, his daughter sang every word, whether she could pronounce it correctly or not. Looking from one twin to the other, he realized Zeppelin was practically chugging his bottle and already needed to be burped.

Positioning Arrow’s bottle just so, he let it rest at an angle where she could keep drinking without a problem. Lifting his son, he eased Zep down onto his shoulder and lightly patted his back. Before long, Flynn Rider’s part started and Jensen smiled when JJ’s voice stopped. 

“You, daddy!” She squeaked. 

“No, not this time baby.” He gave her a smile, but started humming along. 

By the third line, Zeppelin had given a hearty burp and was nestled back into his pillow, eyes falling closed the second the bottle hit his lips. Jensen smiled and lifted Arrow, repeating the process with her. Very softly, his deep voice came out as he sang along.

JJ looked up at her father with stars in her eyes and the biggest smile on her face. She loved when she caught him singing with her movies, even if it was really quiet. Standing up, she started parading around the room and doing her best ballerina moves, despite never having taken a class in her short almost four years. His wife rounded the corner and took in the sight before her eyes, snapping a picture when Jensen had laid Arrow back down.

He couldn’t reach the remote. He could sleep for days and probably still feel tired. He was singing Disney songs and had spit up all over his shoulder. 

Jensen Ackles was living the dream.


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7

Derek x Reader


“Derek—“ Chris began with a mocking tone as he opened the trunk of his car. “I completely understand why Scott and Isaac are here.” The alpha still looking oblivious back at him.


“They’re Y/N’s friends and goes to school with her.” He continued as Derek cocked his head in confusion.

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2

*spits out drawing* Backgrounds are hard.

ANYWAY! This is for @chocoblondie because I love your blog dude (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧ ! And we all need a little bit of mermen Promptis\ (•◡•) / . (I also used a new brush. Because I needed something new)

The White Queen

olicity || ao3 || mature || angst || 1682 || more fics

summary: How do you break a man that is already so very broken? You break the love of his life, of course. (prompt by @chlodeckers )
a/n: [rubs my hands together evilly] So, I might have taken this prompt to an even dark place than originally intended, but… that’s just the kind of person I am. I hope y’all enjoy it anyway. 

warnings: depictions of violence & torture (altho i tried not to be too graphic)


Felicity had been working endlessly for the last two weeks. She was using every spare minute she had to look for Oliver, which wasn’t many. Helix had her working overtime to make up for the resources she was using. It felt like she was never going to get the chance to really look for Oliver and it was driving her crazy. She knew that signing on to Helix was like signing her soul away. It might look like she was stupid for joining them, but she knew that they had what she needed to find Oliver. And that was the most important thing.

She was just so tired now. Emotionally and physically drained. The thought that she might not find him, might not to get to tell him that she loves him, it haunted her every moment. She couldn’t even remember the last time that she actually slept past a few minutes of dozing at her desk. Not that she could seriously entertain the idea of sleeping while Oliver was missing.

At nearly four in the morning, she left Helix’s home base to go back to the bunker. She hadn’t been in the loft for awhile. It didn’t feel right. It hadn’t felt right since she and Oliver had broken up, but now there was something so cold and empty about their once home. She didn’t care that the bunker was destroyed either. It did hurt to see the place trashed. It’d happened before, but this time it was by Oliver’s hands. The pain and anger he must have felt at the time was enough to make her chest ache.

As she reached her car, she fumbled with her keys. She probably shouldn’t have been driving, but she couldn’t very well sleep in the car. The keys slipped out of her hands and on to the ground.

“Fuck,” she muttered.

Before she even got the chance to bend down and pick them up, she felt a sharp pain in her back. It made her gasp and fall forward onto the car.

“What the hell…” she reached behind her and grabbed onto what felt like one of Oliver’s tranquilizers.

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  • Someone: Your otp is shit.
  • Most people: NO THEY ARE PERFECT AND PRECIOUS LITTLE BABIES! YOU'RE SHIT! I WILL HAVE YOUR HEAD FOR SUCH SLANDER!! BABXJKSBAHXJJAKNXNAK
  • Someone: Your otp is shit.
  • Me: Ha. Yeah it is.

@tarinya-quinn @lunar-leviathans @slawischermarsch @opeths @minhyriath @havokkchild @zer0-white @lieshauntedmylife @nacdrak @xochitl-metal @hera-salander @e-cdemo-mani-a @deadrock-n-rollsociety @valhallstruevalkyrie (i finally did it fam) @peioramus @hietalice @theweirdgirlthatlikesmetal @bvnnyfilth @scarsoftheshatteredsky @f-uchsteufelswild @skjaldmaer-av-niflheimr @twin-salopian @etherealremnantsofasepulcraleden @ethereal-valkyrie @s-a-o-r-s-a @sonn-av-fenrir @neeelbert @acid-spit-bitch @letwhatyoulovekillyouu @viking-badger @holdmyhansolo @salmonrage @hannerisms-for-all
have all tagged me to post a selfie sometime in the last couple of months (i think since like November) but here it finally is and I’m still alive and shit man. Thank all of you for the tags! I appreciate it even if i take forever to get to it.

Ill tag @blodbranddod @nasty-guest and @agwith to post a selfie if they want.

Good Morning To You Too - Cole Smut

Request: imagine where reader fulfills cole’s needs , pls?

Warnings: Mild language, smut

Notes: Only reason why (the reader) spits, is because it can actually give you an STI from swallowing :)

Tag List: @xbobaaa @superoriginalteenwolf @jbrhs-princess  


*YOUR P.O.V*

“Y/n”, I head Cole moan, and confusion as well as curiosity took over me, and I turned over and was suddenly met by a sleeping Cole with a raging boner. I chuckle slightly, before an idea struck in my head. I dipped my head under the blankets and made my way down to his hard cock. I smirked as I carefully took his boxers off, making sure I didn’t wake him just yet.

I pumped him at a fast pace, then wrapped my lips around him. 

“Fuck, Y/n. Yes”, Cole moans, tangling his fingers in my hair and tugging at it. I bob my head and pump the bit that I could fit. Cole’s hips bucked up, causing me to gag but continue to bob my head, and give Cole the pleasure he deserves.

“Fuck, I’m so c-close”, he moans loudly, tugging at my hair tighter. My hands fumble with his balls which made him come undone, spilling his juices in my mouth. I pull a face at the salty taste and come up from underneath the blankets, spitting it into a glass that was on the bedside table.

“Well, good morning to you too”, Cole chuckles.

Originally posted by aestheticsprouse

“Good morning”, I wink. “I’ll make us breakfast”. 

There are two types of Tumblr-taggers
  • The ones who go all Instagram: #beautiful #pretty #aesthetic #girl #boy #ootd #potd #followforfollow #likeforlike
  • The ones who don't even give a sh*t anymore: #why are giraffes not purple #I just took a shower and almost died yawning #almost choked on my own spit #does anybody even read this #whatever I'll have my own tag party #send me an 'existential crisis' ask if you want to join
  • Lin-Manuel Miranda, sitting on a giant pile of cash, safe in the knowledge that his show is sold out for a year, a person who has always been able to access theatre shows: Stop The Bootlegs I Don't Like Them
  • Poor People: [stare into the camera like they're in the office]