I'm not sure how to say this...

I’m existing on some weird precipice. Not leaning any direction in particular.
I guess they call this… well, purgatory.
My past is engaged to a future neither of us believed in and that’s fine. I’m happy that he’s happy not bothering me. That suburban guy in the middle is proving to be an excellent friend, something I never would have expected some time ago. I am smitten but it feels like my heart is broken at the same time. A crush? Crushing. I haven’t felt this ache in years. It sucks.

Back to this cliff I’m on. In my head it almost looks like a Venn diagram. On the right, the 1,000ft cliff, screaming at me to shave my head and pull apart a disposable razor, destroy the tattoos on my arm I’ve worked so hard for while running through a Spiritualised concert naked to get any sort of attention because god knows I’m going to do something stupid that will end things but I really wouldn’t be all that upset about it. The left is my list of passions that I cannot leave behind. My dog, playing music, my job, my grandparents… Things I love and don’t want to part with, but in the end I’m not sure that I really care because getting up in the morning is on par with asking a sane person to saw off their own foot without an anaesthetic.

The middle, where I reside and everything overlaps, is a dark place. Darker than the cliff. Much darker than the love that lives on the left hand side. Nothing is around except this pit of anxiety in my stomach, a knot in my throat, tears that threaten to spill over at even the simplest critique, and of course the forced, painful thumping of my heart. I hate it here. I’m begging anyone or anything to change this.

I live alone, so I’m sorry for venting here but I guess I really needed to. I promise I’m stable, just sad. And a little angry at this lingering sadness. It exists only in my mind and the doctor’s can’t see that.

Alchimiste fée

Ces Âmes sont venues pour spiritualiser la matière en en élevant son taux vibratoire pour le rendre moins dense. Certaines d'entres elles sont très près des Anges, car leur densité, même dans le noyau de leur famille, n'est pas très dense. Ces Âmes sont fort légères, elles peuvent sembler papillonner dans leur vie.  Elles ont souvent des difficultés à intégrer leur enveloppe physique et résistent souvent à l'incarnation et à la vie sur Terre telle qu'elle est aujourd'hui.

Elles ont la capacité de dématérialiser ce qu'elles touchent, et pourraient se dématérialiser elles mêmes.

Elles diffusent des vibrations  émanant de leurs corps, permettant de fluidifier la densité autour d'elles, même sans en avoir conscience.

Elles sont distantes de la densité de la matière, ce qui peut leur donner un air éthéré, comme l'image que nous avons des fées. Elles viennent aider à monter le taux vibratoire de tout ce qui les entoure, afin de faciliter l'ascension vibratoire de la planète. Ce sont des transmutateurs vivants.

Besoin d'ancrage, car même lorsqu'elles se sentent ancrées, elles ne le sont pas forcément, elles planent entre ciel et terre. C'est leur principale difficulté, s'incarner totalement en s'ancrant dans la matière jusque dans la terre. Elles unifient et mélangent ce qui est en haut avec ce qui est en bas, avec les difficultés inhérentes à cette position.

En s'unifiant à leur Âme, elles peuvent travailler à la guérison, la communication, dans tous les métiers.

En transmutant la vibration de ce qui les entoure, elles leur font perdre  leur identité pour se fondre au principe divin.

L'amour est l'outil ultime de transmutation.

 Elles sont venues transmettre une initiation au monde, télépathique, écrit ou verbal : “ Éveillez vous chères Âmes, vous pouvez spiritualiser la matière”, tel est le but de leur existence.

Touch the Sky

A feeble attempt to spiritualise parts of my life to relate to the goodness of God.

The truth is, my dear self, God is still moving so tenderly in your life. Emphasise the word - Tenderly. This is such a profound word because I felt like I’ve been brutally treated in the past. Especially in words used to destroy every bit of my soul. Or maybe they were simply make-believe statements I’ve conceived on my own. 

What fortune lies beyond the stars
Those dazzling heights too vast to climb
I got so high to fall so far
But I found heaven as love swept low

My heart beating, my soul breathing
I found my life when I laid it down
Upward falling, spirit soaring
I touch the sky when my knees hit the ground

This is the truth - I got so high to fall so far. Thankfully, your love exists even in the deepest ruins of my life.

#Repost @ayeshaabid38
Attributes of a Spiritual Person http://www.theawaitedone.com/articles/2015/03/15/attributes-of-a-spiritual-person

An excerpt:

Until sometime, I thought people should practise what they believe, but then I realised they do not have power to practise what they believe. The inclination towards practising what you believe has to come from within you. Something inside you has to be willing to accept those sets of beliefs. Your inside is materialised; it is still under control of your carnal and monetary desires and love of the world. You can’t really practise it until your inner is spiritualised. The change will come when your inner is spiritualised. #spirituality #soul #ego #self #nafs #YounusAlGohar #GoharShahi #LordRaRiaz #BayazidBastami #agameoftones #Inzamamulhaq #thoughtoftheday #innerpeace #innerbliss #enlightenment #spiritualawareness #spiritualawakening #personalgrowth #spiritualgrowth #belief #believer #faith #powerofbelief #poweroffaith #meditation #zen #Sufism #mysticism #Kabbalah