spirit of a woman

I am…really struggling to be sympathetic to the plight of men who want Wonder Woman shirts to wear to this movie premiere and can’t find any in their department. Like…walk over to the women’s department. Pick up a t-shirt. I know, gendered clothing sucks. I know, it sucks that nerdy shit isn’t being marketed to you. Welcome. To the world. Of geeky women.

“I’m a big guy, I can’t wear women’s shirts.”

Buddy, you’re talking to a woman who is just large enough that her ability to wear slim-cut women’s hour-glass shaped shirts is limited. I can’t buy a lot of the cute shit at Hot Topic or Target bc I’m just slightly too big. I can’t even buy clothes for the gender which I was designated at birth because I am too large. Welcome. To the world. Of womanhood.

I’m sorry, I just. Nope.

Here are all the Dragon Age companions in a nutshell: 

Origins:

Alistair: Your senior officer who is so scared of taking charge that he pretends you’re the senior officer. You can make him king. 

Morrigan: Antisocial witch who totally turns into a spider just to fuck with Alistair. Will probably hold her nose and boink him later. 

Leliana: Ex-nun that murders people and tells you bedtime stories.

Sten: Murders a whole family. One of your more reliable companions.  

Shale: A fashion-conscious, bird-hating rock. 

Wynne: Magical possessed Grandma. <3

Zevran: Failed to kill you. Tries to seduce you instead. 

Oghren: Drinks so much that you forget he has other personality traits. You probably made him kill his wife. 

Dog: Who’s a good boy?! You are! Yes, you are!

Loghain: Doesn’t know why he’s here and frankly kind of wishing you just killed him.

Awakening:

Anders: All he wanted was to leave the giant tower he was trapped in and not be murdered. Jury’s out on how well that worked out. 

Oghren: Still drunk. He left his new wife so he could kill more things with you. 

Nathaniel: He’s forced into the club because ‘some of your best friends have tried to kill you,’ and frankly he’s concerned. 

Velanna: Fuck all you shem. She’s only here because she’s looking for her sister. Also her ears aren’t that big. 

Justice: He doesn’t know what he’s doing but you seem like a good sort so he’ll follow you like a confused and rotting spirit puppy. 

Sigrun: For a dead woman, she is the peppiest of the bunch. Will set Justice’s corpse spasms to music. 

Dragon Age 2:

Carver: Fuck you. Oh wait… maybe less fuck you. Or maybe he’s the fucker all along. 

Bethany: She loves you. Oh wait… no, she still loves you, even if you’re a prick. 

Aveline: Please follow the law. Please stop dragging her into your illegal messes. She just wants to be a good guard captain. 

Varric: He is writing all this shit down to tell embarrassing stories later. 

Anders: VIVE LA RÉSISTANCE! Also, Fenris can go fuck himself. 

Fenris: Murder ALL the mages. Also, Anders can go fuck himself. 

Merrill: The naive fish out of water from every romantic comedy, except she makes blood pacts with demons.

Isabela: FLIRT FLIRT FLIRT runs away with life-saving relic FLIRT SOME MORE. 

Sebastian: A priest who accidentally joined a gang. 

Inquisition: 

Cassandra: Best tank. Could probably have a faith spirit in her head and you couldn’t tell the difference. 

Blackwall: Liar liar beard on fire.

Solas: Liar liar egg on fire. Plus racism.

Iron Bull: Is literally called ‘liar’ and doesn’t lie to you for the whole main game.

Varric: He has finally reached a point where even if he tells this story honestly, no one will ever believe him. 

Vivienne: She will make you classy or so help her–

Dorian: Someone stop his country from embarrassing itself again please.

Sera: Down with the bourgeoisie, except not so far down that we can’t steal from them. 

Cole: Is even worse that this than Justice. You love your weirdo spirit puppy anyway.

Leliana: Someone said something mean? Cut out their tongue.

Josephine: Please just talk to people. Her life would be so much easier if you did.

Cullen: Can’t escape this franchise no matter how far he runs.

“Weird winged crocodile at the Devil Worshipper’s Wedding. As described in the strange publication which is exciting Europe, a spirit woman turned into this grotesque monster and “played the piano, casting expressive glances at one of the young women.”“

Illustration by E.G. Lutz in The World newspaper, December 27, 1896

MBTI personality types as otherworldly/supernatural creatures

ISTP: werewolf (or lycanthrope): Often referred to as children of the moon, werewolves are humans who, due to a curse or magic affliction, have obtained the ability to transform themselves into (fullform) wolves during a full moon.

ISTJ: vampire: A human-like creature with pale skin known to feast on human blood. Usually capable of taking the form of a bat. Afraid of the sunlight or sometimes of crossing over water.

ISFJ: brownie (or house elf): Household creatures that aid in tasks around the house in exchange for some milk, honey, biscuits or cream. They don’t like to be seen by humans so they work at night and spend daytime in the attic, in a warm corner or in hole in the wall.

ESTP: goblin: Mischievous and temperamental, small creatures gifted with magical powers and a greedy nature. They shall steal your jewelry and gold.

INTJ: Lilin (or succubus/incubus): Demonic, night spirits who appear in dreams taking the form of a woman or man and seduce their victims in order to engage into sexual activity with them. Repeated intercourse with a Lilin can cause serious health weakness or even death.

ESFP: poltergeist: Malevolent spirits responsible for haunting humans through physical disturbances like levitating and destroying objects, making loud noises and even harm humans. In their worst, poltergeists pinch, bite, trip or even hit humans.

ESFJ: Watcher (or Grigori): A fallen angel that according to the Books of Enoch fell for Heavens and dispatched to Earth in order to watch over humans. The offspring of a human and a Watcher is called Nephilim.

INTP: jinn (or genie): Sapient spirits with either a kind or benevolent nature. Usually invisible or in shadow form but also able to take many forms and possess human bodies. They travel ceaselessly and instantaneously from one place to another.

ENFP: fairy (or fae, fairie and fair folk): Small structured creatures that inhabit forests, lakes, mountains, rivers and springs. They fly with insect or butterfly wings or even on birds. They use magic to preserve and protect the nature and they sometimes swap human children with their own for unknown reasons.

ENTJ: dragon: Legendary, reptile creatures with many legs and strong wings. Most of them breath fire and live on the mountains, while other are rain and storm bringers.

ESTJ: Leviathan: A giant sea monster which lives in the depths of the ocean and attacks ships to feast on human flesh. Either reptile formed with horns or possesses many octopus legs (like the Kraken) or even giant crab claws.

INFJ: elf: Elves are intelligent supernatural human-shaped beings that possess great magical power, ethereal beauty and ancient wisdom. They either help, endanger or ignore humans. They inhabit forests, hills and mountains and on a misty morning or a starry night they can be seen from afar dancing in circles. Most believe that elves are immortal or live thousands of years, but one can never be sure.

INFP: ghost (or spirit, phantom and spectre): A ghost is usually a spirit of a dead person unable or unwilling to pass into the afterlife. They mostly choose to stay invisible and haunt humans and places they have been when alive. This meets the idea of the “unfinished business” of a ghost on Earth. Children are most likely to feel the presence of such spirits.

ISFP: wil-o’-the-whisp (or ignis fatus or Jack-o’-latern): It is described as an atmospheric ghost light (probably faerie related) which tricks travellers at night into following it and ending up deep into the woods, stuck in a swamp or even dead. 

ENFJ: unicorn: A legendary and rare creature with the shape of a horse and an origin of a magic land. Their most characteristic feature is a horn on the top of their head which possess the power to heal any sickness and render any poisoned liquid potable again. Even seeing a creature as such is said to be eternal luck.

ENTP: alien or extraterrestrial being: Space-originated life forms that inhabit planets other than ours. Gifted with great intelligence and a variety of other potential, are often accused of abducting human beings.

Batfamily NSFW headcanons

Well, here it is. Because of the nature of the questions, IT IS NSFW, so if you’re uncomfortable with that, do not read, I have PLENTY of other work that aren’t NSFW at all that you can check ;-) (right here, my masterlist blog : https://ella-ravenwood-archives.tumblr.com). Anyway, I’m not great at writing headcanons so thought I practice a bit…hope you’ll still like it :

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The Goodies-

Bruce Wayne

  • What turns them on?

✶When you touch him inappropriately in public. Especially at charities, galas and other balls. It drives him crazy the way you do it so sneakily so that no one but him notice. It’s a sure way to convince him to go home earlier. 
✶Seeing you putting someone in their place with your wits and sarcasms after they’ve been rude to you…Oh he lives for this, and will have trouble to concentrate on anything else but wanting you. 
✶Your smile. Your laugh. The way you light up his dark World.
✶That man has a thing with lifting your skirt slowly, and putting your panties aside. He couldn’t even tell you why, he just loves it. And obviously, it instantly turns him on when you let him.
✶Knowing that the emotions he feels for you can outlast the orgasm you both had. Oh yes. Knowing he’s loved, and can let go with you. 

  • What turns them off?

There is very few things that turns him off when he’s with you, if not nothing (like literally, even when you’re being annoying, or when he’s being an ass, or if you just woke up and are disheveled and not really attractive…he’d still want you), as everything you do is just…Wow. He can’t get enough of you. Everything you do turns him on really. But He had experiences with other women before… :
✶Women who couldn’t handle a simple conversation. No connection at all with them, just sex. In and out, and then they’d be gone. He hated that. Which makes him love you more when you just spent time in each others arms talking about anything and everything. You’re the only one that makes him want to talk about what he feels and such…It’s a big relief. You’re his big relief. 
✶He use to hate SO MUCH when he took a woman out that had a “fake hollywood accent”, or any fake accent. A lot of fake French one. They thought it made them more interesting, but the only thing it did, was making them super annoying to hear so…Yeah, massive turn off. He cringed more than once because of a high pitched voice, or an annoying one with a stupid fake accent.
✶Narcissism turned him off instantly. Oh the many women Alfred had to escort out because Bruce misjudge them…It happened to him a lot when he was younger, long before meeting you. He thought he’d find a kindred spirit, but turned out, it would just be a woman who wanted him for his money and fame, and who thought she was irresistible. Spoiler : those kind of women were rarely irresistible, to him at least. He could resist them very well. He could resist most women very well…But you. Oh you, it’s impossible. 
✶Lack of passion. He just cannot even think about dating someone who isn’t passionate about anything. 
✶Fake tits. That doesn’t even remotely look (or feel) natural. Fuck them. And oh the women he went out as a younger man had a lot of fake things physically (fake ass, tits, teeth, nose…), every thing was fake in them really, to their personality and smiles. He hated that with a passion, and often wished he could drop the “womanizer” and “playboy” persona, that wasn’t like his real him at all…Everything changed when you came in. You’re the best thing that ever happened to him, nothing fake about you (for real though, if you wanna tell him to fuck off because he’s being an asshole, they you’ll do so, and he loves that!). 

  • Kinks?

Nearly violent sex. Bitey, grabby, pinny, not-holding-back sex. Paired with sweet words of encouragement and gentle forehead/Cheek kisses.
✶Surprise sex. You waking him up because his cock is in your mouth. Him whipping you around while you walk around the Manor, and boom.
✶Sex after an injury. He loves the way you’re careful with him, or how he needs to take care of you because you’re hurt. 
✶He likes giving more than receiving. WITH YOU. Because he feels like he has to thank you to put up with his shit and antics…And you do it so well, oh he just has to please you. Doesn’t mean he’s against a good old blowjob though. Oh, and damn, the good old 69 am I right ? 
✶He can be vanilla and/or rough, and you love it. He would never really hurt you (even if you ask him too, just light biting really), and most of the time you make love, rarely just fucking (unless you haven’t seen each other for a long time and you just need it)…He’s all for the sweet and cuddly aftercare. Cheesy man. 

Richard Grayson

  • What turns them on?

✶You. Your mere presence. A slight touch of your fingers on his arms. And he’s gone. It’s not always great, like, you’d be in public and you’d just touch his thigh softly, as you do, and he’d give you “that look”…
✶Snuggles. Cuddles. Oh yes. 
✶Neck kisses. It drives him beyond wild. 
✶He will get harder inside you by the mere sound of your moans…And hearing you orgasm, clenching around him, is a sure way to send him over the edge too. 

  • What turns them off?

✶Being with someone boring. Glad he found you. 
✶If he’s with a “selfish lover”. He doesn’t mind giving at all, but for him, making love is a way to show mutual respect, to show how much you mean for each other…so if he’s with someone who only think about themselves ? No.
✶When his partner is too forward about wanting sex. “Want to fuck ?” Oh. Nope, he likes when it’s subtle. When you give him sultry looks and such. He likes the building up. 
✶Bad breath. As simple as that. 

  • Kinks?

✶Once, he was arguing with you and in the heat of the moment, you slapped his face. Of course you excused yourself profusely, until you realized he went from being annoyed to argue to being very aroused…You both learned something about him that day. So, light BDSM. Who would’ve thought ?
✶He lives for silly giggly sex. Pleasure, your moans and bad puns, how could it get better than this ? 
✶Women’s mid sections. He loves slight belly and curvy hips. As simple as that.
✶He’s a sucker for romantic evening, that turns hot and steamy. 
✶Rubbing your legs, ass and back during the act. Oh yeah. 

Jason Todd

  • What turns them on?

✶Seeing you punching people. It sounds awful, but the way you don’t let anyone walk on your feet and don’t hesitate to punch people even twice your size…He loves it. 
✶If you wear a dress, your legs will instantly turn him on. He loves your legs. Especially when wrapped around his waist. 
✶You love to dance, and hum songs you like…Big turn on every time, as he can’t get enough of your voice, and you’re damn sexy when you dance. 
✶When you’re trying to contain yourself, but simply cannot. Muscles spasm and contort as you climax.

  • What turns them off?

✶Judgmental people. The kind who decides what you are before knowing you.
✶The daddy kink. Oh God, NO. 
✶It’s something kinda silly, he knows, but he hates long unclipped toe nails. Ew. You laughed the first time he told you. Well, yeah, it’s super gross. 
✶Lacks of enthusiasm and initiative. He can’t be with a woman who lets him do everything, chose everything for her. And who never initiates anything. Basically, the opposite of you. 

  • Kinks?

✶Clothed sex, because it feels like you two are so hungry for each other, that you just can’t bother getting all the clothes off. 
✶Sex games. First one to come loses. 
✶Public and semi-public sex. Hey, he likes danger. When you two are almost caught…Oh the thrill.
✶He’s very creative when it comes to sexual position. As long as your comfortable of course…He’s sure glad you’re flexible by the way.

Timothy Drake

  • What turns them on?

✶Intelligent woman. Intelligence in general. 
✶The way you look at him, with so much love, that makes him feel like he’s really wanted and needed…Sometimes, he just needs validation, as he doesn’t always gets it with his family. Fortunately, you’re here for that. 
✶Nibbling on his ears and neck, while whispering sweet nothing.
✶Eye contact. He just loves it. 

  • What turns them off?

✶Loud people. Oh God can’t they shut up ? He hasn’t slept for the past 36 hours and they’re making his head explode. Instant turn off if there’s too many noises. Though he loves your screams…It’s different ok ? 
✶If you starfish. Making love is a thing he wants to do with you, not to a very passive you. Fortunately, you’re never able to “starfish”…you’d do it as a joke sometimes, because you know he doesn’t like it, and then you wouldn’t be able to resist moving in sync with him.
✶Nothing to talk about but yourself. Someone obsessed with themselves. Oh he hates it. He’s so glad he didn’t find someone who didn’t had any subject else than themselves. He’s so glad he found you. Because with the name “Wayne” comes a plethora of women only interested in money and fame, who loves no one else but themselves. 
✶He hates feigned incompetence. Like a girl who acts like she doesn’t know anything about sex, while she’s clearly experienced. He always feels manipulated when this happens…

  • Kinks?

✶He loves to “discover boundaries”. Like what you like, dislike, what you two are willing to do, the extent you can go etc etc..Knowing just until where both of your boundaries go. 
✶You two nerds invented a secret “sex langage” to be able to talk about it in public. Of course you would.  
✶Nerdy dirty talk. Oh the puns about technologies, and pop culture you two are able to get out while making love : it’s endless. And he loves it. It makes him feel like he found just the perfect person for him. And you really are. 
✶Lazy morning sex. Bath sex. Those private moment with you, where you can just both enjoy each other. Domestic moment sex if that makes sense. 

Damian Wayne (older than his current age of course)

  • What turns them on?

✶Training together, seeing you fight and such. The way your body moves…Gets him every time. 
✶The way you look at him and tell him “I love you”. He’ll never get tired of it. Seeing the love in your eyes for him, knowing you mean it, that there’s at least one person in the world that really love and appreciate his bratty ass. 
✶When you caress his hair, fingers massaging his scalp. Soothing and arousing at the same time. 
✶The way you bite your lips or stick out your tongue when you’re focused. 

  • What turns them off?

✶He tries to be nice about it but…Body odors. If you smell because you two jumped on each other before you could take a shower…Instant turn off. Even his own smell could turn him off. Basically, if it smells bad, he won’t be able to concentrate on sex at all. He’s a living paradox however as he loves the smell of your sweat.
✶Hurting you. 
✶Rude and vulgar people. 
✶Lack of empathy.

  • Kinks?

✶Sensory deprivation. Like blindfolded, so you have to rely on trust and such. Or handcuffed, so you can’t touch and…again trust comes in. Sometimes, he would put headphones on your ears, so you wouldn’t know what his next move is by the sound…Basically, knowing you trust him and letting him do all that. 
✶He likes trying new things.But will never do anything you’re uncomfortable doing of course. Consent is key.  
✶Always the tease though. 
✶Sometimes, he’ll argue with you ON PURPOSE just for the amazing make-up sex afterward…Each time you’ll give him a look meaning : “really Damian ?”, and he’ll just smirk back at you. He knows how to push all your buttons, and oh, he just really like the way you are during make-up sex. 
✶You come first. He loves you, he wants you to be comfortable, but he also like trying new things and he’s so damn glad he found someones like you who’s willing to be adventurous.