spiral sorting

I Got You On My Mind (Part 7)

Jungkook Soulmate AU (Angst)

[Part One] Previous Part | Part Seven | Epilogue

Summary: Jungkook reveals why he rejected you. But is it enough for you to forgive him?

Word count: 1.7k words

Originally posted by jungxook

You watched, mesmerized, as Jungkook fidgeted with his hands, the chords of muscles in his forearms flexing. His gaze was downcast, his plump lower lip caught between his teeth, as he struggled to find the words to stay. You found that this uncharacteristic nervousness made him seem more genuine, but still, it was difficult for you to trust Jungkook after everything that had transpired.

After recently regaining some of your memories, the wounds Jungkook had inflicted still felt fresh. Your heart ached as if it were only moments ago that Jungkook had tossed you aside.

The conflicting memories of Jungkook warred in your mind. On one hand, Jungkook had rejected you with cutting words and a cold heart. But on the other, he had helped nurse you back to health and remained resolutely by your side. Which one was the real Jungkook? 

You wanted desperately to hold onto the version of Jungkook you had imagined as a young girl, not the one who had been sleeping with your best friend.

“She won’t believe me,” Jungkook thoughts interrupted. Your gaze flickered to his, but he was still staring at the ground, unaware that he was projecting his thoughts. You could feel his uncertainty and fear through your soulmate bond. The sudden urge to comfort him arose, but you pushed it down.

“Jungkook, I promise I’ll listen,” you said quietly. His head shot up, Jungkook’s wide eyes peering into yours. He opened his mouth, but no words came out. “I can’t promise that I’ll believe you, or that everything will be fixed, but I’ll give you this chance to explain everything.”

Jungkook sighed and looked away, his jaw clenching.

“I know I need to explain this to you,” Jungkook began slowly. “But this is really hard for me. I don’t want to show this side of myself to you.”

“Believe it or not, I don’t hate you now and I probably never will,” you said with a small laugh. “We’re soulmates for a reason, you know.”

Jungkook gave you a small smile, his gaze flickering down. “I guess I’ll start from the beginning then.”

You nodded, waiting patiently as Jungkook took an unsteady breath. He closed his eyes for a moment, before exhaling slowly and looking back at you. His eyes were raw and honest.

“The first time I heard your thoughts, I was six,” Jungkook recalled with a fond smile. “You didn’t hear me for awhile later. I still remember what you thought. ‘That looks like a fun tree to climb.’”

“That was the first thing you heard?” you asked incredulously. “I remember that! I climbed a tall-ass tree in the park, and I fell and broke my arm.”

“I know,” Jungkook replied grimly. “I felt it, too. For such an underdeveloped bond, it didn’t make sense for me to be able to feel your emotions. But I could. All I could feel was your panic and pain.”

You winced, recalling the memory from all those years ago. For a six-year-old, it was a terrifying experience.

“I was so young at the time,” Jungkook continued. “I didn’t understand why I could feel emotions that weren’t mine. I didn’t know why I could hear someone else’s thoughts. And I couldn’t understand why I cared so much about a person I’d never met.”

You opened your mouth, but Jungkook cut you off immediately. “Don’t apologize,” Jungkook said, smiling slightly. “I got over it, eventually. It got easier when you started to hear me.”

“That wasn’t until, like, a year later,” you frowned. “That must’ve been so strange.”

“It felt a little intrusive,” Jungkook shrugged. “But your thoughts were pretty entertaining. Plus, I was a really shy kid, so you were my only friend for a little while.”

“That’s really sad,” you said quietly, your voice lilting. “We didn’t have an actual conversation until we were nine.”

“We could have had spoken sooner, but I didn’t want to,” Jungkook confessed, looking away. “I learned how to block my thoughts, mostly. Sometimes I can’t, if I get too emotional.”

“Why didn’t you want to talk to me?” you questioned, a little hurt.

“It wasn’t you,” Jungkook replied immediately. Then, he frowned and clenched his fists. He didn’t speak for several moments, but when he did, his voice was quiet. “It was because of my parents. They were soulmates, but for some reason, they didn’t get along.

“My mom found out that my dad was cheating on her, and it was a mess. They divorced a few months later. My mom got custody, and my dad sort of spiralled,” Jungkook explained, his voice coloured with shame. “I didn’t know how to face my own soulmate after that. I didn’t even know if I could believe in soulmates anymore.”

“Jungkook, I’m so sorry,” you whispered. “If I had known, I would’ve–”

“No, I didn’t want you to know,” Jungkook interrupted. “You were the only person I could pretend to be fine with. You were the only person who didn’t know how fucked up my family–how fucked up I was.”

“You were just a child,” you argued. “How could I think badly of you?”

Jungkook just shook his head. “I wanted to seem like a good person in front of you,” he said. “Even after my parents, I still wanted to believe in soulmates. I wanted to have something to look forward to. You were always so happy, it was easy to pretend with you.”

A few moments of silence passed as Jungkook tried to collect his thoughts. You wanted to reach out, to hold him, but you didn’t know if he would appreciate that.

“My mom had to work a lot to support me and my brother, so she wasn’t home often,” Jungkook continued, his voice low. “My dad picked up drinking. He tried to take us home with him, once. The police had to come.

“My brother was hit pretty hard, since he was older when it happened. I was in middle school when he started high school. He joined a gang, started getting into fights and dealing.

“I didn’t follow him, but I got involved with some pretty bad people. You know what my reputation’s like–it’s because that’s who I am. From high school till now, all I did was party. I drank, I did drugs, I slept around.”

“Why didn’t I know any of this?” you asked, confused. “In all the years we’ve been talking, I couldn’t tell that a single thing was off.”

“I showed you what I wanted you to see,” Jungkook replied with a cold laugh. “I was hoping by the time I met you, I would’ve already cleaned up my act. I didn’t expect to see you that night, and I was so ashamed of myself. And I ended up pushing you away, because I wasn’t ready for you to see me like that.

“You were the last person I wanted to hurt, but I fucked it up anyway,” Jungkook said, his words venomous. “I ruined everything before it even began. It’s fucked up, but after you lost you’re memories, I thought it was like a second chance. I know, it’s fucking disgusting, but I wanted you to see the person I could become.”


“Look, I know everything about me is fucked up, okay?” Jungkook spat. “I don’t want to hear apologies, I don’t need pity. I don’t need forgiveness, either. This is the truth. This is everything I never wanted you to know.”

“Jungkook!” you repeated, more firmly this time. You reached out and grabbed his hand, which was clammy, and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Listen to me. All I wanted was for you to be honest with me. It doesn’t matter if you’re embarrassed or ashamed of your past, of yourself. If I’m your soulmate, I want to love all of you.”

Jungkook stared at you, his mouth hanging open slightly.

“If anything, I wish I could have been there for you,” you continued sadly. You played with his large hand, weaving your own fingers in between his. “We’re soulmates, you know? We’re supposed to support each other. There’s a reason why we’re connected, even if we don’t understand.”

“I just hate disappointing you,” Jungkook sighed, squeezing your hand back. “I was afraid to see our relationship crumble. Just being soulmates–I don’t know if that’s enough. If I’m anything like my father–which I am–then we’re doomed.”

“Don’t say that,” you scolded him gently. “I’ll admit, there are some things about you that aren’t great. But you’re more than your mistakes. You’re passionate and kind, and you’ve shown me the best sides of you, too.

“We aren’t so two-dimensional, Jungkook. I’m sure I’m not the perfect person you made me out to be when we were younger,” you laughed.

“But you’re perfect for me,” Jungkook insisted, then blushed deeply. He gulped visibly and looked away.

“Look, I don’t know if I forgive you yet,” you said, and you saw Jungkook deflate. “But I will eventually. I want us to move past this together.”

“Thank you,” Jungkook whispered, his voice cracking. He looked up at you. “I know I don’t deserve that, or you. But you’re the reason why I even try. If it wasn’t for you, I’d have probably given up already.”

“You should want to live for yourself, Jungkook,” you smiled sadly. “I am your soulmate, but I’m not your entire world.”

You pulled Jungkook into your arms, and he immediately buried his nose in the crook of your neck. You weren’t sure, but you thought you could feel wetness against your skin. Was he crying?

“You helped me a lot these past few weeks,” you continued, holding Jungkook tightly in your arms. “Let me help you now. We’ll make it through this, together. Okay?”

Jungkook nodded against your neck. And despite how terribly everything began, you were almost certain that everything would turn out just fine. With Jungkook truly by your side now, you felt strong. You were determined to unravel the mystery of the boy in your arms, who felt as far away as he was close.

- Girl in Luv

One more part to go, then it’s finished! How did you guys feel about this chapter? Are you still mad at Jungkook? His behaviour sort of makes sense now…I hope. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed this series, and thanks to everyone who stuck with it! Look forward to the last instalment of I Got You On My Mind. I’m always so thankful for the support we receive, from the replies to the fanmail. You guys are the best! Happy reading 💛


The real questions is: what was her reaction?

this sort of….. spiraled… out of control………..


Work In Progress

Summary: Stiles is assigned as editor for the well-known erotica author Derek Hale.

Notes: Written for @dearnearlydemented, who wanted #12 from this list. I hope you like it! (Also, I have no idea what an editor’s job is really like, so please go with me on this one.) (On AO3)

“Come on, Derek,” Stiles says into the phone, just a little cajoling. “I need that chapter by tomorrow, but I’m betting you have it done now, and you’re just holding out on me.”

“Well,” Derek says hesitantly, and Stiles grins. Bingo. “It is done, but it’s not, um, my usual style.”

“I don’t actually know your usual style, so that’s not going be a problem for me. I just want to make sure it’s good, Derek. Is it good?” he asks, amused.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

okay so since like 90% of the bob cast has at least guest starred in shows like criminal minds and the law and order franchise (and blue bloods obviously), could you do some headcanons for a police and lawyers au?

  • dick is the newly appointed commanding officer of the 506th precinct, and he’s really trying to settle into his new job. he doesn’t have to get used to the station, since he was a sergeant here before being promoted, but learning to be in charge is… a different sort of experience.
  • his detectives don’t make things easy for him. guarnere takes too many risks in the field. toye is seemingly unstoppable. welsh is having a secret romance with a pretty female lawyer and keeps trying to fight suspects. webster is reluctant to do anything that isn’t desk work. the only one who isn’t giving dick grief in his new job is sergeant lipton, who’s levelheaded and helpful as ever.
  • the day he gets his promotion, the rest of the precinct drags dick out to a bar to celebrate. he doesn’t drink, but while there an drunken man literally falls into his lap. dick does the man a favor and drives him home, dropping him off in front of an impressively large mansion on the wealthy side of town.
  • the next day, he meets with the DA about a case, and is stunned to come face-to-face with a very hungover version of his friend from the night before.
  • this is how dick meets lewis nixon.
  • nix is also a newly appointed DA, but he is dangerously good at his job. he’s sharp, quickthinking, and formerly worked as an undercover officer. it’s not long before he and dick hit it off.
  • meanwhile, the rest of the precinct is busy with their own cases.
  • guarnere and toye are on the trail of a gang of bank robbers. they know that three members of the group (muck, malarkey, and penkala) go in, hold up the bank, and clean it out before jumping in the car with their getaway driver (luz). frustratingly, the robbers wear gaudy halloween masks, keeping them from getting a good look at their faces.
  • they try to stake out the bank. while bill is posing as a bank security guard, joe is supposed to be providing backup from outside. he sees the robbers go in – however, he fixates on their getaway car. he makes a reckless choice, and tries to get the jump on their driver.
  • this apparently entails climbing in the back of the car, sneaking up on luz, and holding a weapon to his head.
  • so luz panics and grabs the gun. in the scuffle, joe accidentally gets shot in the leg.
  • there’s a moment of panic. george is screaming. joe is screaming. someone inside the bank is screaming. and then joe passes out from blood loss.
  • that’s how george luz kidnaps a police officer.
  • he doesn’t mean to drive away, but he just sort of PANICS. now his friends have been left high and dry, he’s driving around with an unconscious cop, and all he really wanted was an excuse to drive like a maniac. he didn’t ask for this.
  • so, he does what anybody carting around a guy with a severe injury would do, and he takes joe to doc roe.
  • gene roe is luz’s college buddy. he is neither an actual doctor nor a criminal, but he is a damn good defense attorney, and luz has a sneaking suspicion he’s going to be needing one of those soon. roe also knows a lot about first aid, which toye’s definitely gonna need.
  • joe winds up getting nursed back to health by the criminal he’s trying to catch. (he’s disturbed both by how good looking luz is and how annoying he is. jeez, the guy won’t let him get a moment’s rest. his mouth is basically a torture device. joe is more into it than he wants to be.)
  • the terrible trio are in custody. george knows he has to get away, and he also knows that joe will rat him out. he’s a police officer, it’s sort of his job.
  • he figures he’s already in deep, so he may as well run with it.
  • if there’s one thing george luz is good at, besides driving at insanely fast speeds and getting himself into screwy situations, it’s hiding. the only challenge now is going off the grid while he has a very pissed off, injured cop handcuffed in his passenger seat.
  • neither one of them asked for a road trip, but they’re sure getting one anyway.
  • the trio get arrested. roe winds up being hired as their defense attorney. he’s at the precinct a lot, which is how he becomes acquainted with babe heffron, the 506th’s civilian administrator.
  • babe is spunky, sarcastic, relentlessly optimistic, and quick to befriend roe once he starts talking to him. it’s hard not to get sucked in by babe, and roe begins finding excuse to come around the station that don’t have anything to do with his poor clients.
  • meanwhile, the other detectives have their own issues.
  • their suspects won’t leave them alone.
  • webster is leading the investigation into a series of cat burglaries. the cases are baffling mostly because no one can figure out how the crook is doing it. he’s somehow getting into sealed off, heavily surveiled rooms, stealing the most expensive thing there, and escaping without leaving a trace.
  • it doesn’t help that he’s literally being TAUNTED by his criminal.
  • he keeps calling him, taunting him about sticking to his desk, staying out of the field, and not being able to catch him. it’s the most infuriating thing in the world. 
  • more than once, webster has wound up in loud, back-and-forth arguments with his criminal. no matter how long he keeps him on the line, all calls are traced back to cell towers in various countries. his perp is clearly a tech genius, and knows an uncomfortable amount about webster.
  • webster isn’t sure what he’s going to do when he finally catches this guy – cuff him or kill him. (both options sound incredibly satisfying)
  • finally, ron speirs is on the run for murder.
  • this is a bad thing; mostly because he didn’t do it. he knows he’s being framed. the problem is, he doesn’t have any evidence to prove it, and his… less than sparkling reputation doesn’t speak to his credit.
  • so he’s hiding from pretty much everyone – his enemies, law enforcement, even his friends. he doesn’t have anyone to turn to.
  • so he takes a gamble, and contacts the detective who helped his buddy grant deal with some people trying to hurt him a few years back. he still has carwood lipton’s phone number; he gets a disposable phone, and gives him a call.
  • now lip finds himself roped into speirs’ one-man quest to clear his name, and get some revenge while he’s at it. he’s not sure exactly what’s going on… but, well, he’ll do what he can to help.
  • so one detective is missing, one is being taunted by his criminal, one is aiding a murder suspect, a drunk DA is passed out in the chief’s office, and their civilian administrator is definitely hitting on the defense lawyer what’s more, the three bank robbers in the cells don’t seem deterred by their predicament at all. they keep bumming cigarettes off the guards, loudly singing 80s pop songs, and somebody used his one phone call to order pizza.
  • overall, winters’s first week on the job is going well.

okamikanji  asked:

Why does everyone in asks call you mom? This might be a frequent question but I just got here I'm sorry.

Welcome! Glad to have you here :D

And “mom” is sort of a nickname I guess. Other people started calling me it sometime last year (2016) after I got a really sad anon from someone who said they wished they could call me “mom” cause their own mother didn’t accept them and my blog made them feel like they were going to be okay.

And honestly it broke my heart and in a moment of absolute harebrained sincerity I said “you can call me Mom if it helps!” and it just sort of…spiraled from there and now it happens to me on the street. I was walking through the grocery store a while ago and two separate people ID’d me as “tumblr mom?!?!?” and ran towards me down the aisle. I’m sure I looked shocked, but they were lovely and it was very sweet. Surreal, but sweet :P

But while it’s a nickname many people use for me, it’s not an obligatory thing. I don’t mind if people use it, and I certainly don’t mind if they don’t. You’ll also possibly see people referring to me as “auntie”, “cousin” or even just “fam”. Sometimes you might even see the rarely used “Joy”, which is my actual name. Any of those are fine.

Mom is an honorific I strive every day to be worthy of, and I hope with all my heart that the Anon is still here and knows they are loved and someone thinks about them often. I hope all of you do.

The sheer amount of YOI content on my dash just won me over and I ended up binge-watching the whole thing. And then it put me in the mood for drawing, which I haven’t done in a really long time, so…have some sketchy, sneezy Victor :)

problemforfuturetech  asked:

First off: your blog is awesome Secondly: have you just dubbed yourself mother of all internet users? (because that's awesome) Third: you're awesome

Thank you! And no I did not dub myself mother of the internet. Tumblr did. 

Someone asked over a year ago if they could call me “mom” cause their own mother was an abusive manipulator, and reading my posts was reassuring and made them feel like they mattered to someone and they wished they could call me mom instead. And honestly it broke my heart and with absolute sincerity I said “you can call me Mom if it helps” and it just sort of…spiraled from there and now it happens to me on the street. I was walking through the grocery store about a month ago and two separate people ID’s me as “tunblr mom?!?!?” and ran towards me down the aisle. It was very sweet. Surreal, but sweet :P

It’s an honorific I strive every day to be worthy of, and I hope with all my heart that the Anon is still here and knows they are loved and someone thinks about them often. I hope all of you do.


Gif source:  Theo  |  Stydia

Imagine you’re in the pack and secretly in love with Stiles and friends with Theo, so when the pack and Kira sent him back you tried to help him, but got pulled in with the skin walkers, so when they resurrected you and Theo you realized Lydia is in love with Stiles, who you remember, and you don’t stand a chance.

——— Request for anon ———

She didn’t have to say it out loud. Just the way she spoke of him was enough to let you know that she was in love with Stiles, just the same as you were. Only, you knew that if it came down to you or her, there’d be no competition.

Hell, you’d been locked away with Theo. Even Liam and Hayden had come back for Theo, not you.

You found yourself spiraling into a sort of depressive state the more you thought about it. The more you realized just how out of touch with the pack you were when it came down to the facts. The more you realized that you were about to try to get Stiles back, only for him to run into Lydia’s arms.

“You coming?” snaps you from your downtrodden thoughts, making your eyes focus in on Theo. While you’d been focusing on Lydia, the pack had apparently finished the game plan for what was to go down tonight, and were heading out the door without seeing if you were following along or not.

But Theo had, “Yeah, thanks Theo.”

anonymous asked:

Any thoughts on the S3 Klance dynamic? Their relationship has changed so much and I'm honestly still so shook

I mean- I’m not really gonna talk ‘klance’ since nothing explicitly romantic happened here, but, sure, let’s talk Keith and Lance.

Watching Lance temporarily bump up as Keith’s right hand was very interesting. I think what intrigued me the most is during the battle on Thayserix in s3e3, when Keith is sort of spiraling into “it’s all my fault, I did this wrong,” Lance’s response is basically just, “yup, but, now we’ve got to deal with it, and we need you to do that.”

He doesn’t beat around the bush. It legitimately is Keith’s fault they got separated and stuck here. However, he also doesn’t dig it in or draw blood he doesn’t need to- he basically just affirms, yeah, you sure did heck up leaderboy, but it’s not the end of the world, we can do more about this than tailspin to death, and right now the team needs you to step up and try to make amends for what you did. He catches Keith’s attention and pulls him back to focus on reality without sugarcoating or glossing over the mistake. 

Lance, arguably, even though he moves to an “arm” position, doesn’t start acting like an arm- he retains his leg pilot sensibilities, which balances Keith out because Keith is still acting like an arm even though he’s in a head role. Lance retains his position as the nurturing Blue Paladin, but steps up his presence to the whole team, because he’s doing a lot to 

But charmingly, we see that this isn’t just a one-way exchange. We also see Lance opening up to Keith, the other way- and them having sincere communications. These people are continuing to grow as a team, and as a family, and it’s really wonderful to watch.

Especially with Keith- who I’ve noted in prior meta is incredibly cynical and tends to be hopeless about situations- saying, with conviction, “things will work out” and believing it. It’s a wonderful testament to how much his worldview’s been able to open and how much good the whole team, not just Lance, has done.

I think what we’re seeing for these guys is in a lot of ways… they’re really moving out of the rivalry and towards a deeper understanding and solidarity of each other. Am I gonna read that as a potential prelude to romance? Yeah, but you don’t really need to. If anything, I’d rather mark it down as purely platonic for now so that the good word of “these people care deeply about each other and their emotional welfare” can spread.

Opinions on shit no one asked me about

-I love it when one thing leads to another in fic and things just sort of spiral out of control. Like a character feels a little queasy so they skip breakfast, which later makes them dizzy and weak and honestly everyone would have been a lot less worried if they’d have just eaten and threw up
-guilt as a reason for not disclosing injuries. “This is all my fault so I can’t take time away from fixing the problem to ask for help.”
-uncharacteristic crabbiness from the comic relief character as the first sign that something’s off
-while I love when a character collapses from pushing themselves too far while sick or hurt, I don’t see enough of the MOMENT THAT A CHARACTER REALIZES that they can’t handle this alone anymore and asks for help literally right before/as they collapse
-characters who are uncharacteristically forgetful when they’re sick and end up really frustrated with themselves
-characters trying to be responsible when they’re sick and asking for a day off, but they don’t have a fever (yet…) and honestly you’re gonna have to fight through a cold, you’re an adult, grow a pair of ovaries and toughen up. But the fever comes later and they’re all of a sudden very very sick and on top of it feeling like they’re just blowing a tiny cold way out of proportion

fuckyeahdeafandasexual  asked:

(I am so fucking embarassed because I send this to the wrong writer first) In the LOTFW universe: which global political leader would the internet ship president clinton francis barton with? (à la Obama/Trudeau bromance)

Oh man I wanna know who you sent this to, I bet I know them :D I BET THEY WERE AMUSED. 

People totally ship Clint with T’Challa. It started out as a weird niche ship when he visited Wakanda on a diplomatic junket, and just sort of spiralled from there. I’m pretty sure in at least one chapter of the fic I wrote myself writing Clint/T’Challa fic as a cameo. :D 

There’s also a small set of writers who ship President Barton/Secretary Stark but they’re all weirdos. 

So, the other day I had Harry Potter 7 on in the background while I was doodling and it got me to thinking about how much I don’t like Ron and Hermione as a couple. Back in the day I never really gave it much thought but then after Rowling was all “Ugh, I wish I could take that back.” it got me thinking that they are totally wrong for each other! Ron is one of those insecure dudes that needs constant validation and will always get all passive aggressive because he imagines that everybody undervalues him. And dudes like that NEVER change. And Hermione is just way too to self assured to put up with that nonsense. I’m just sayin, I think they would have eventually split up. And I like the idea of Harry/Hermione way better because they were always respectful of one another, and they went through a lot of the same formative experiences together and I think they would make a good match. And also, lets be fair, Ginny is a big fat nothing. 

So anyways I was thinking about all this stuff and started drawing my ideal couples for the Potter books and it just sort of spiraled out of control and I drew Harry and Hermione’s wedding and I was like oh no WHAT HAVE I DONE. IT’S SO CHEESEBALLY. I even picked theme colors for the wedding. I’m so…I’m so ashamed. 

But anyways, these are my fantasy couples for the Potter Universe: Harry + Hermione, obvy. Then Ginny realizes she’s hella gay and dates her way through the wizarding world. Here I had her paired up with Katie Bell. And Ron ends up with a nice Indonesian muggle girl who is just always so impressed by his magical abilities and dazzled by the wizarding world.  And obviously she gets knocked up right away because Weasley men do not wrap that shit up.  And then Neville + Luna because they’re my favorites. ^_^


Someone to Stay - AU

Chapter 1

Blue fire.

The condensation on her glass trickled unheeded while Claire could not take her eyes off him.

How had walked onstage and grabbed a guitar as well as everyone’s attention in a few seconds. To think she had never heard of him before, or the band; until her friend had dragged her to the Edinburgh bar. To help her forget, if she could, at least for two hours.

Claire appreciated Geillis’s intentions as she watched him croon into the mike. His long deft fingers strummed the guitar. His tousled red waves fell into his eyes and with a quick flick of his head, his gaze met hers for a second. And how her breath had hitched.

Oh no.

He didn’t miss a beat. Claire feigned nonchalance as well and pulled out her phone. She glanced briefly at him again while the device whirred. Information gleaned from the adverts plastered on every wall. James Fraser, The Clan, band members…

Lead singer of Scottish band The Clan, 28, born in Inverness to parents –

“Claire, you promised, come on!” Startled from her stalking, Claire turned to Geillis and plunked her phone face down. A long-forgotten familiar tingling had begun at the base of her spine. She drowned it once more in whiskey. Never again.

She brushed her hair back, sipping, savoring the oaken burn. Onstage, James Fraser sang of love unrequited.

 Hey lass, come with me

Say you love me

Say you’ll be mine

Hey lass…

The barest hint of a Scots lilt made Claire smile, the first in days. She had escaped to Edinburgh after surprising Frank doing ‘research’ with his young assistant. In bed. Had banged on Geillis’s door unannounced with her bag stocked from the Heathrow duty free. G pouring straight tequila down her throat as she sobbed. Four years of her life, wasted – and for what? For who?

The rain had not let up for the better part of a week. Claire’s mood remained just as stormy. She had almost regretted crashing at G’s, thinking Ibiza might have been nicer. Until now.

The song (“Hey Lass”, furtively Googled) ended to thunderous applause from the tightly packed crowd. James Fraser smiled, bowing slightly and waving a hand to acknowledge his band mates.

“We’d like to thank ye for coming out tonight,” James smiled softly, “and here’s one for the road.”

Pulsing drums met the twang of bass. It reverberated in Claire’s chest. The band launched into another song, the last of the evening. Claire missed the intro as she focused on the way James caressed the microphone.

 Watch and learn

Hand holds steady

Thought you’d won

But here’s the burn

I know ye, more’s the pity

I’m letting go…

Here was anger, flooding Claire as the song brought forth mental pictures better left hidden. The bed in shambles. The noises. Her gasp. Their surprise. Fuck them. More whiskey for her trouble.

Geillis elbowed Claire, winking at her obvious staring of Jamie Fraser. Claire rolled her eyes, leaning in to shout over the clamor of people singing along. “Knock it off! He’s cute, that’s all.”

“I’ll say!” Geillis winked again and hollered at the stage. Claire laughed and emptied her glass. What harm could it do, this insignificant attraction?

She couldn’t help watching him. His tall commanding presence drew the eyes in. Jamie stepped out of the spotlight as the bassist broke into a solo. Jamie grabbed a bottle of water as he glanced over the audience.

 Attraction, pure and simple. That’s all it was.

 But it could be bad.

This, whatever it was, could lead to a downward spiral of sorts. Didn’t she know it all too well? How four years could mean absolutely fuck-all to someone all too willing to throw it away at a moment’s notice? And she was sure it had been more than one moment. Fuck Frank.

Claire gestured Geillis she was headed for the loo. Pushing her way through the masses, she remembered why she avoided clubs and the like.

After a quick visit, she fought against the throng at the bar and was suddenly confronted by a large man dressed all in black. He spoke into a discreet hand radio.

“Excuse me,” Claire muttered as politely as she could. When she tried squeezing past him, he put his hand on her shoulder. Claire turned, aggravated, not willing to endure a stupid pick-up line or scheme.

“The band would like to ask you backstage.” The man gestured to a curtained-off area beside the bar.

“Uh, sorry. The band?” A certain red-headed giant perhaps… No.

“Yeah. Come on.” He turned brusquely and expected Claire to automatically follow. Nothing riled her more.

“I’m with someone, actually, so-“

“Oh, they can join you,” he said dismissively.

“Well, I don’t know. Let me ask her.”

Claire weaved her way among the sea of tables and tapped her friend’s arm.

“Hey babe, almost gave you up for lost! I ordered us another round!” She tipped her glass in Claire’s direction and swallowed deep.

“G, there’s this guy who’s asking us backstage. Band wants to hang out with us.” Claire shrugged noncommittally.

“Hang out? Seriously?” Geillis snorted. “There’s a euphemism if I’ve ever heard one.”

“You mean-“

“Darling, there’s only one thing hanging out could mean. A rock band backstage? At this hour? Pffft. Now, if you want to go, get your rebound in, I’m happy to go with. Your call.” Geillis downed the rest of her whiskey tumbler.

“Oh. Well.” Claire felt disappointed. God knew why. Was it all men? She’d never even heard of the band, or Jamie Fraser, until tonight. She wasn’t quite ready to become a groupie or stick it to Frank with a one-night stand just yet.

 She caught the crew member’s eye, who waited with mild impatience on the edge of the crowd. She smiled apologetically. She shook her head, mouthing, “No thanks.”

 Such a shame, really.

Last night we were talking about all the other Earth-based SBURB sessions. Now, most of them were probably screwed from the start if they weren’t part of an ectobiological loop (unless there was a rash of meteor babies delivered in the 90s, which would be kind of funny) but we thought if any of the other sessions did get very far, they’d have to deal with a bunch of the same crap as the kids without any of the inside info. So this spiraled into imagining some sort of SBURB help forum with a bunch of questions and bug reports where an increasingly harried mod keeps going ‘it’s this ONE SESSION out there fucking everyone else up, I’m sorry’

‘There’s an unidentified object at the heart of my battlefield. No one mentioned this.’ ‘It seems to be corruption from our parent session #612a2. The players are still active but are only in communication with a four person session based in the US, #413b1. I’ll let you know if they ever start answering my PMs, but for now, here’s a link to a thread with people discussing fixes that worked for them.’

‘One of my timeloops should’ve been stable but now the whole timeline is flagged as doomed. Our Time player has checked everything but there’s no reason for it. HELP!!!’ There’s a rogue Time hero/boss local to the 612/413 session cluster. Most of the time he doesn’t affect us, but sometimes timeloops get snagged on his localized alpha. Destroy any of the following artifacts in your session, especially the puppet, and try again.’

‘CANCER UPDATE: The 612 data corruption manifests in an extremely aggressive archagent and a rapid onset Reckoning. Do not engage Jack Noir, and do not under any circumstances let him acquire a regent’s ring. We recommend you deploy Prospit dreamers to acquire the White King’s scepter and keep it safe to delay the Reckoning.’

‘There are red squiggly things in the sky. Is that bad??’ ‘Unfortunately session 413′s archagent got the black queen’s ring and is in the process of tearing all instances of our universe to shreds. I’d recommend you pick up the pace, because we’re now on a deadline courtesy of those fuckers.’

My dreamself died and usually I just have to deal with the horrorterrors but last time I fell asleep I was somewhere else, and there were a bunch of other people there. Is this a special level I unlocked?’ ‘Somehow the 612/413 cluster…broke… death??? I don’t fucking know. Avoid any gray skinned people you see - they tend to be hostile. [Blurry photo of Vriska.] DEFINITELY avoid this one.’

And eventually it just devolves into everyone complaining about those losers from 413 who keep ruining it for everyone and you get posts like ‘Apparently every planet gets one first guardian but GUESS WHO got Earth’s and PROTOTYPED it????’ and ‘There’s a cheat that lets you godmod the whole game and we’ve been looking for it for weeks but FUCKING SESSION 413′s Breath hero fell ass backwards into it on accident those fuckers’

The mod dreams of one day finding these people to scream at them in person

I forced a string to straighten
  until it became a thread,
           no longer tightened,

              so long
                        to long,
             longing itself,
to belong,     to dis-belong
so long
          ago                       (and for a long time too)
a spiral
  (DNA of sorts)
of pleasedoits
    alternating with
       please DON'Ts

I nursed myself back to something
resembling life               a raven’s cry

sightseeing open-mouthed woolgathering
sleepwalking tantamount to daydreaming
                  a spectacle, sublimely impressive

                                              a vista of vists


pistachio ice cream
             almost         falling out of waffle cup
      drop after drop,
      on black blouse

Beca vs Chicago- a PP3 fic concept

Please remember I know nothing about the storyline and would appreciate it to stay that way. This was just an idea that sort of spiralled out of control… it was only supposed to be short… now look what you made me do…

Enjoy and feedback is always appreciated.


Chicago looked down at Beca. His military uniform was crisp and sharp, medals glistening in the sunshine and his eyes were narrowed in determination.

Beca stood roughly a metre in front of him. Her fingers were tucked securely in the pockets of her jeans; uncaring of the fierce glare that the other man was currently sending her way. Her usual plaid shirt was left slightly unbuttoned, her tank top beneath was low cut as though she were begging for people to make a comment.

Unlike the glare of her opponent, she wore her signature smirk; her eyes dancing with amusement as her eyes roamed the military figure.

She was not intimidated in the slightest; that was something Chicago realised all to soon and so he tried to hold himself higher than her… a height tactic used to frighten their enemies. Nothing. The smirk just widened. Deflating slightly, he and Beca simultaneously turned to the woman just off to their side.

Chloe. The object of their affections.

Strands of her read hair were clenched in her fingers as she raked them through her hair in a sign of obvious despair. Her eyes flitted from Beca to Chicago and back again before taking in the Bellas who had gathered around them… boxing them in.

It was as if a fight were about to be initiated… Chloe as the referee, and Beca and Chicago? The fighters. In Chicago’s view, the winner would receive their trophy… Chloe.

Beca, however, knew Chloe better than she knew herself. She respected Chloe’s independence and freewill… for God’s sake… Beca was head over heels in love with her. The brunette was never going to give up this particular fight though. She wanted Chloe to be happy; and if she were not happy with her then, as long as she deemed the other person worthy enough… well… she would be happy if Chloe were happy.

The problem is that Chicago was all wrong for Chloe. He did not try to get to know the real Chloe Beale.

She was flustered around him; she forgets important details and information when he is around. He tried to monopolise her time instead of allowing her to be around the Bellas. He would glare at Beca every opportunity he could, and would possessively keep a hand on Chloe’s waist as if preventing her from leaving his side of her own free will.

Quite frankly, he was a jerk.

The tension was tangible; the air was dense. Lily was tempted to take out her knife just to prove that point; however Aubrey had confiscated all of her weapons upon arrival… the bitch.

Stacie, for once, was not groping her breasts and dancing provocatively. She was worried. Much like the rest of the Bellas, they had been watching Beca and Chloe for years… could this be the final straw?

Fat Amy was itching to carry him to the airport and have him board a plane to a land far far away. Bhloe is real, she’d repeat over and over again.

Who the heck is Chlochago, Flo and Cynthia-Rose would ask in confusion. Jessica and Ashley would shudder at that particular ship name.

Chicago wiped a bead of sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand. Gazing at Chloe with a charming smile, although Beca thinks it’s constipated, he starts. “Is your name Google? Because you’re the answer to everything I’ve been looking for.”

Chloe flushes slightly in embarrassment and, after quickly gazing at Beca, she turns to the Bellas who shake their heads in disgust. The other military men gathered around cheered after they heard Chicago’s words.

Beca bit her lip in thought. She needed to beat Chicago at his own game, even though it was her who suggested this competition. She had been drunk after all, and drinking is never a good idea when the woman who held her heart was being held in the arms of another. She had marched over to them and demanded this competition. It was a silent agreement that the winner would be given a chance to win Chloe’s heart.

A thought came to her. Turning her attention to the redhead who was already gazing at her in anticipation for her attempt, she smiled reassuringly. Chloe grinned back, momentarily forgetting her nerves. After what felt like hours, but in reality was only a few seconds, an obnoxious clearing of a throat interrupted them. Fucking Chicago.

Nevertheless, Beca kept her smirk in place. She was a badass; she might as well keep up appearances because she knew her own attempt would make everyone question that.

“Hey beautiful”, she started, causing Chloe to gasp at the nickname. “Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you, I can’t help but smile.”

The Bellas awe’d at the same time and the young brunette heard a couple of sniffles coming from the direction of their newest member and current captain of their group.

Beca could see Chloe’s eyes glistening with unshed tears. Beca’s words were nothing but the truth… and everyone knew it. The DJ was a closed off person; with walls higher and more secure than Fort Knox, and barbed wire constructed around the wall to keep people away… but Chloe? Chloe Beale… she was the exception to almost every rule Beca had ever made.

The redhead had waltzed into her life, as chipper as a person could be, light on her toes and enthusiastic about anything the brunette would offer her. She would pay attention to her and show her the affection she had been starved of for most of her life. She knocked down a section of her wall with nothing but her never-ending patience, ocean-blue eyes and bright smile and took residence in her heart with never an intention of leaving… not that Beca ever wanted to have her leave.

Fury and envy emanated from Chicago as he noticed both girls lose themselves in each other’s eyes once more.

The marine blurted out the next line he could think of in order to interrupt the two girls. “Do you have a name or can I call you mine?”

Beca scoffed at his chauvinistic comment, not believing he actually said something so stupid in front of an all-girl group… especially in front of one as close and familial as the Bellas. Aubrey’s jaw clenched in immediate offence and she glared at him fiercely. She had not warmed up to him at all… which says a lot.

Chloe froze at his words, her eyebrows furrowing in obvious confusion and hurt at his assumption that she were nothing more than something to be labelled… nothing more than an object to be used or a prize to be won. Her eyes shimmered once more, this time with unshed tears and Beca was so so so close to introducing Chicago to her knuckle sandwich. The short brunette had a feeling that she would need to wait behind a line of angry Bellas if their dirty looks were anything to go by; not that she would wait. She’d simply push to the front.

The DJ knew she had to do damage control and finish this once and for all. She knew he odds were not in Chicago’s favour.

“Was your father a thief? I wondered how he was able to take the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.”

A tear fell from Chloe’s eyes; Beca knew she couldn’t stop now.

“Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
there’s nothing more beautiful
than the vision that is you.

Orchids are purple,
Lilies are white,
As hard as it is,
Don’t give up the fight.

It may take all your strength,
Your courage will arise,
Just take a deep breath,
And ignore all the lies.

You’re never alone,
For I’ll be by your side.
Wherever you lead me,
Whatever you decide.

I’ll confess to you my dreams,
For you will be there,
Love is louder together,
I’ll love you always, I swear.”

There was complete silence. The Bellas could not believe what they just heard. Jessica, who had been recording the whole event was staring slack-jawed at their ex-captain and nearly dropped the phone in shock.

For the first time in a long time, Aubrey smiled at Beca. A full-blown genuine smile as her eyes welled up and released tears of pure happiness. Whatever reservations she had had about the smaller girl when it came to Chloe had completely been erased. Those were the most beautiful words she had ever heard… she never ever expected them to come from Beca. She was almost jealous of her own best friend.

Chloe choked back a sob at Beca’s words. So sincere… so passionate… so real.

How could she ever choose to be with someone who wanted her as a trophy over someone who wanted to cherish her heart? How could she ever love Chicago when someone like Beca existed? The answer is that she couldn’t. She knew she had been an idiot for the duration of this trip, thinking she could just “get over” Beca and move on with Chicago. Such a fool.

Cheers started to emit from the crowd surrounding the three. The Bellas had started it and gradually everyone was joining in.

Chicago knew he had lost… not only Chloe, but the respect he had garnered throughout the tour. Beca’s words had resonated in his ears until they were all he could hear. He realised Chloe could never have been happy with him.

Chloe wrapped her arms tightly around Beca with never an intention of letting go… never again, at least. Her heart had chosen wisely and as everyone well knows… the heart never lies.




Well what did you think?

Beca’s poem was sweet huh? I took great pride in writing that a while ago. It’s technically not a pick up line, but something from the heart instead. Hope you nerds liked it