i remember it all, like it was just yesterday. 

i remember it all, how your touch felt grand and everything else was just there and you are the only thing i kept on seeing and how i wished love was the feeling all people would have. i remember every bits of our conversation on how funny the tv ad was and how your eyes sparkled like stars and how i wished you would stay in my universe forever. i remember how your smile kept me up all night and how i wish my smile was also the reason why you’re having had a hard time sleeping, again. i remember our late night walks and talks and how we dreamt of making each other’s coffee in mornings and how we’ll have each other’s back when the time comes.

i remember the petty fights and how i thought that it won’t end what we’re having, but it did.

i remember the ‘i love you’s’ and ‘i miss you’s’ and all of the words poured to show the love that we had. i remember it all.

—  i remember it all and i wish i didn’t

on one hand, 
i want you
so bad that i can’t breathe
i want 
your hands
your mouth
touching every inch of skin
on my body
i want you
covering me with your love
filling me up with your love

but on the other hand,
i can’t want you at all
because just the thought
of you
and your hands
and your mouth
and your love
anywhere near me
makes me feel suffocated
fills me up with terror
and i can’t breathe

—  two sides of the same coin
(cc, 2016)