“You know what I think? I think you’re scared. I think you’re so fucking scared of getting hurt and being alone, that you make a continuous effort to push away any good thing that could ever matter to you. And then when that good thing is gone, you think your fears that you aren’t enough are validated. But in reality, all that pushing away you did because you were scared of losing that good thing, gave it no reason to stay and every reason to go”

- shit. this one stung. (@prettynessisthekeytohappiness) //a.d.

And I wanted to scream. I wanted to scream that it hurt. That loving you hurt but instead I ran. I ran far, far away and I didn’t look back and for that I’m sorry. I’m sorry for lot’s of things but loving you is something I am not sorry about. You are something that I am not sorry that happened. You are something that needed to happen in my life. You gave me my life back and I wish I could tell you that but I can’t so I hope that this letter reaches you. I won’t send it but I hope it reaches you. I hope it touches you in the way you touched me. Thank you. Thank you for giving me my life back. Thank you for loving me and showing me that love does exist. That it can be beautiful and real. That it can last.
—  Thank you. // Deeply Feeling Series 

Do you ever just listen to an old favorite song really loud in your headphones while staring at a skyline and fall in love with the world and your life and the person you’ve become even if things aren’t actually going well for you at that particular moment? Because it’s surreal and it’s empowering and I think it’s bliss.

i am slowly forgetting your smell,
the sound of your steps,
and the hand motions you make while talking
but i’m so sure,
whenever i’ll see you again,
i’ll recognise these immediately
and it’ll feel like coming home
after a long tiring day.
—  long distance.

“I know you’re not even mine but i want you all to myself.”

T.D

I really want to believe that one day I’ll meet someone and have no doubts that I’m supposed to be with him for the rest of my life and that he’d never hurt me and that I can completely be myself around him. But until then I’ll keep texting boys I’m already over and getting drunk with boys I’m not sure about and learning lessons that I really need to learn.
i continued to love you,
even after you broke my heart
because you were my first love
and i didn’t know what it is
that you’re supposed to do
with all that love resting in your hands
when you cannot give it 
to the person
you first fell in love with.
—  first love.

“the thing about liking someone, is that anybody else can like them too.

and it kinda sucks when you know you’re only an option.”

A.M. {and even more when it’s not you}

This may sound cynical but we have to learn to disassociate people from the things we do with them. It’s really easy to confuse loving someone and loving the lifestyle we have with them. It’s also really easy to think we miss someone when really we just miss the things we used to do with them. It seems special and unique to that person when we make memories and traditions and we’ve all been down the road where we find ourselves thinking I don’t know how I can live without our midnight cvs runs for hot tamales in our pajamas and all our stupid traditions and how will I find someone who will watch 6 straight hours of The Office with me while I cry or crash my brothers frat parties with me or talk to me all night on the phone to keep me awake when I’m driving. But in reality, we could do those same things with someone else and be happier.

Sometimes, a bad day turns into a bad week, which finally becomes a bad month, which ends up leading to generalized bad times. And you struggle. You feel like you’ve been thrown into a battlefield you did most certainly not ask for. But you are here. And you have to keep fighting. Sometimes, staying alive is like taking a spoon of the medicine you hate the most. This syrup solution is bitter, hard to swallow and straight up disgusting so you block your nose with the other hand and drink it anyways because you have no other options. The same thing happens here. When you don’t want to fight anymore because you are just so tired, all you have to do is to blindly trust you’re gonna make it out alive. You have to keep fighting. Even if you are crawling on the floor. I don’t care, you’ve got to keep fighting.
Life goes on after death, you will go on after bad times. I swear.
—  i haven’t pep talked myself in so long.

Things you should know before falling in love with me:

1. I have a hard time opening my self up to people, and in the past, it’s ruined relationships for me.

2. I’m not a morning person at all, it’s best if you keep your distance until I’m completely awake.

3. I am honest but I know at times I can be too honest and it’s never my intention to hurt your feelings, I just don’t think before I say things.

4. There are days when it’s just too much to get out of bed, and on days like those just know it’s not you, it’s never because of you.

5. I have so much love to give but I don’t know how.

6. I can get angry very quick and it can last for the whole day. And even if you weren’t the cause for my anger, stay away. You can’t reason with me when I’m like that.

7. I never want you to think I need you. I don’t, I can do all of this alone and be perfectly fine.

8. I’m not your property I am my own person and if you ever think you can cage me up, you’ve never been more wrong in your life.

9. Im a free Spirit and Love doing things that excite my soul. So be ready to go out of your comfort zone.

10. I sing in the car and you should too.

11. I’m a movie fanatic, I like anything that can make me feel something.

12. I can be the warmest person you’ve ever met, or I can be the coldest. It all depends on the type of person you are.

13. I feel things deeper than most and that’s why my emotions are always under lock and key.

14. If I ever lose the fire in my eyes, don’t leave, just take me to bed and turn off all the lights, I’m just in my head, and that’s a place you never want to see.

15. I have a dark soul that sometimes makes me view the glass at half empty instead of half full.

16. I’ll never give you a reason to cheat on me. And if you do, you should just pack your shit and go. No explanation just leave.

17. I have many sides to me, each one being more complex than the last. But just know, no ones stayed long enough to see them all.

18. If you do leave because I’m something you can’t handle. I won’t be mad or hurt. Like i said before, I don’t need you.

19. If you ever see me cry, don’t say anything just pick me up and hold me.

20. I am not something you can fix and mold into something else. If you come into my life thinking that, you’re going to leave worse off than me.

21. I don’t like beating around the bush. It takes too much time.

22. I get hot very easily and when I am hot I’m a ticking time bomb that you don’t want to see blow.

23. Don’t put your hand on my throat if you don’t want what comes after.

24. When I’m on my period I can be very unpredictable and I’m sorry for whatever happens.

25. I know I come off as very independent and if that intimidates you then you should walk away now.

26. I’m looking for someone who will challenge me, someone who has the same goals as me and will do whatever to reach them. Someone who I can take on the world with.

27. I lose interest very easily and if you can’t keep me on my toes then we won’t last long at all.

28. I never ask for help but I won’t say no if you give it. It’s my pride and it’s a bitch.

29. Your happiness is key to me. And mine should be the same to you.

30. There is never a reason to lie to me, I’m very understanding. I take trust very seriously and if you lie to me all my trust for you is gone.

I know I am complicated and have a lot of layers to me, but believe me when I say, whoever gets past my walls and gets me, they’re the luckiest person because I have a lot to give.

— (k.L.k)