Often, I feel that I disappoint too many people for not being able to accept my full potential. Of failing to see myself through their eyes. Of not acknowledging my worth because I’ve been told many times long ago, that I wasn’t worth the effort by the wrong people. For many years, I’ve held myself accountable for all the poor choices done towards me shoving aside my need for reassurance, and dealing with the guilt of not being enough. For years, I believed that I had to apologize to people for what they thought of me. And now I’m finally learning that I need to forgive myself for that. I need to learn to forgive myself for feeling bad that other people can’t appreciate me for what I am.
Keen Malasarte, Only when I learn to love myself, will they value me. And I’m not really sure how long that’s going to take.
All I wanted was someone who could hear me out. But where were you during my darkest hour? Where were you when the demons I locked away in my sleep kept knocking? It’s okay, though. I don’t blame you for not putting someone else first above yourself, because truth be told I would have done the same. It just sucks because if it had been my choice, if I had been the one standing on your shoes, in your place, I’d have done all I could to make sure you found comfort in someone else. That I was there for you when things didn’t seem so easy to deal with on your own.