You are pure gold.
You’re bathed in heavy metal
And touched by Guns and Roses.
You are rock and roll,
John F. Kennedy,
With your ability to outgrow,
And your emptiness of fidelity.
You are pure gold
With your measurements of trying to hold.
You have to know,
You’re made of gold.
You always show,
You’re made of gold.
Heavy metal rock and roll,
Take control of your soul
Whenever you’re feeling low.
You are so made of gold,
You never loved me.
You are pure gold,
I am titanium
With a combination of uranium
And suicidal thoughts flowing through my cranium
With a sense of aloofness like an alien
Mixed with calcium
Sitting in a radiant stadium
Waiting for your medium;
For you I’m a maniac,
Made out of titanium.
But you’re still gold,
And I’m still sad.
You’ve walked away leaving me bland.
You are rock and roll,
Waiting for the Florida snow,
Hoping things will change
Looking for someone to blame.
—  JFK; C.D.
You entered my heart and showed me heaven.
But left me with nothing short of hell.
—  M.C.E But I guess that’s what I get for falling under yout spell// Inspiration and credit to @sui-cide-bride

it’s been 5 about months now, since i was yours and you were mine.

i spent the first month pretending i was happy and that i was free. i was so good at faking the joy that i almost believed it myself.

the second month flew by, i was hanging out with friends and new boys, and even girls, but when the month came to an end, so did the false happiness.

month number three was rough. i couldn’t stop writing about you. i couldn’t stop crying. i found myself bringing you up in the most random of situations. i wanted to talk about you, i didn’t want to forget you. the ache of missing you was overwhelming. i did anything i could to try and erase my feelings for you.

the fourth month rolled around and i spent a lot of time alone. i was reflecting on our whole relationship. i realized i gave up way too soon. i sat in my room, filled with remorse and guilt, i was also in shock. i honestly couldn’t believe i let go of the one thing that made life bearable. i didn’t say your name as much, and i only talked about you when someone else brought you up. i slowly weened myself of your memory.

now it’s month number five. i don’t talk about you anymore, i don’t bring you up anymore. i keep you buried in the back of my mind and at the bottom of my chest. that being said though, i still think of you every goddamn day. people tell me that i look happier and i seem brighter. maybe i am. but it still doesn’t cover up the fact that i’m still completely heartbroken. i gave up on the one person who would have never given up on me. it is and always will be my biggest regret. i drink about, smoke about it, think about it daily. i’m so sorry.

—  // 1:15

“Why are you so afraid of trusting me?”

I wanted to tell him that it was because his words were too kind and his eyes were too green. That his kisses were too sweet and his promises too unconditional. I wanted to tell him that it was because his love was too easy to fall into, and that if he left like the last one did I wouldn’t know what to do. I wanted to tell him that if I put my all into him, he could just as easily leave with every piece of me. That I had just finally got those pieces back. I wanted to tell him, I wanted to. But I couldn’t.

—  Excerpt from a book I’ll never write #94
His eyes were laced with poisoned waters, but all I wanted to do was get lost in the depths of them.
—  E. Grin
What do you want for Christmas?” He asked

“I want a real friendship”

“Real friendship?,” he looked at me with his beautiful eyes,“But you have me!”

“No,” I paused,“I want a friend that won’t hurt me. I don’t believe in Santa, but God how I wished for him to send me a magical potion that would order my heart to stop beating so fast whenever you walk in the room with the big, white smile of yours. I want a drug that would allow me to listen to your talks about her, and would stop the fire inside of me from turning into tears. I want a friend that would not be as clueless as you are. Because you can’t see how much I love you.”

I want a spell that gives me the courage to say that to you.

—  Dear Santa, why didn’t you give me that? #11
… And while loving you was like drinking poison, I still found myself liking the taste.
—  E. Grin

They say drugs are addictive, the rush and the high.
They say alcohol is addictive, the bleary eyed happiness.
They say cigarettes are addictive, the habit and the craving.

I was never quite addicted to those things.

The rush and the happiness, the habit and the cravings. There was never any warnings. They never spoke about this.

You left.
And I understood what an addiction was.

—  Withdrawals

“Write it down. Every little bit, every single memory.”

“Why?” She asks me with a childish innocence I forgot existed in a woman of her age. She had long brown hair and a body of a twenty year old.

“Because when you get to be my age, you’ll want to look back and relive everything. Even if you get bad eyesight, you can have someone read it to you, but if you don’t bother to get it down on paper, how will you remember? You’re young and in love, but one day you’ll be my age, wondering what it felt like to get butterflies when you see him. And when he’s distant and doubts you love him, show him what you wrote. Tell him how much he means to you. Trust me, when you’re my age, you’ll love to look back on the happiness you two shared, and you’ll know that the pain you endured was and possibly still is, worth it. Just please, sweetheart, for your sake, write to remember.”

—  Excerpt from a book I’ll never write

You and the stars,“ I begin, “you’re so alike.”

“How so?” He replies, staring at me intently.

“There’s so much darkness in this universe, and yet,” I pause, taking a moment to smile to myself, “and yet, your light still manages to shine through.

—  E. Grin
At this point, I don’t know what I’m doing or where I’m going. I just know that I want to feel wanted. I want to feel loved. To feel the presence of another human being that I genuinely love as a person. I crave affection. I crave passion…maybe because I’m honestly tired of being alone.