spilled pill

All us damaged people really want is to be fixed for awhile..A pill, a hit, a shot of whiskey or a someone to fill our cracked edges with gold and for just a moment in the universe..haziness sets in and we can feel nothing but joy.
—  Excerpt from a pill, a hit, a shot of whiskey or a stranger’s kiss
.

“Look at me. (Y/N), look at me right now!” Tate raised his voice. My vision is clouded by the build up of tears. I glance up at Tate. His eyes darker than the darkest of darks. He makes the gesture of placing his hand against my cheek but I flinch away in fear.

“Tate,” I hesitate on my words due to the amount of restraining from crying I’m containing. “I-”

“I love you too.” he says almost instantly.

“Yes, Tate, I love you but I have to go-”

“No, (Y/N), please. Don’t leave me. Please stay. Stay with me,” he begs. Once again making the gesture to caress my face, I give in and trust him. He brushes his lips against mine. “Tate, I don’t have a choice. I’m sorry, I have to go…” a tear slipped from my eye and dropped onto Tate’s shirt. He shook his head from side to side. He shoves his hand into the pocket of his jeans and pulls out a bottle of prescription drugs and a plastic bag of another substance of drugs. I narrow my eyebrows. He nervously pops the bottle open and spills the pills into his hand.

“We can be together forever. Just you and me. In this house forever. We can grow old together and be happy-”

“You want us to commit suicide?” Yes, the idea has come across my mind quite frequently and I’ve attempted it once before but I never actually wanted it to be intentional. I really do love Tate and I don’t want to leave him here. He is the darkest light in my darkness. As much as that doesn’t make sense, it’s true. I’m attracted to the darkness and that’s what he is. I’m scared of him. He scares me and I love him for it. He’s a psychopath and I’m crazy in love with him. I’m crazy for him as he is for me. “Yeah, you know what? Okay, I’ll do it.” I nodded my head and took the bag from his hands. His nervous smile turned into a smile that was unexpected for him. A real smile.

“I’ll run the bath…” I notified him and left the room. Stepping foot outside of my bedroom and bolted down the hall and down the stairs as fast as I could.

“MOM!” I’m panicking. “DAD! WHERE ARE YOU?!” I’m running and I’m panting. My lungs feel as if they’re shrivelling up as my breathing becomes hitched. I bust through the front door and struggle to open the gate that guides the house. I make a run for it down the street. “SOMEBODY HELP!” I run and I-

“(Y/N),” Tate sighs. I look around. I’m back in my room.

“What the hell?” I rush back downstairs and through the front door, leaving the house again.

“(Y/N)!” Tate says my name once more as I find myself back in the house.

“No, no, no!” I try to leave again. I come back. I leave again. I end up back at the house. “This can’t be happening, Tate, what the hell did you do?!” I’m out of breath from sobbing and attempting to run away. I need to leave. I try once more.

Making yet another exit from the house a pair of hands violently grasps my arm and strongly pins me to the wall. Before I got the chance to scream a hand is placed upon my mouth. I breathe heavily and scream as loud as I could even with my mouth closed shut. Scared to death, my chest raises up and down at a rapid speed as my heart thumbs loudly against it.

“Shh, shh,” I’m shaken and shoved up against the wall at an even stronger force. “(Y/N), it’s okay it’s just me.” Tate removed his hand from my mouth.

“DON’T FUCKING SCARE ME LIKE THAT!” I roughly pressed my hands against his chest and pushed him off of me. I leaned my back up on the all and slowly let myself fall to the floor. I begin to hyperventilate while crying hysterically. “Why do I keep running around like a crazy person? And why can’t I leave?” I look up at Tate who has a look on his face I’ve never seen before and that was sorrow. He’s never felt anything until I came along. I’ve made him feel something. Emotions. Emotions he’s never been able to express or feel before. Barely being able to see his eyes, blocked by his messy blonde locks, his build up with tears

“I’ve been trying to tell you but-”

“Tell me WHAT?!” I stand up defensively.

“Th-that-”

“What is it, Tate? Spit it out. Don’t bullshit me.” I push him again.

“Come.” Tate takes my hand and clenches it tight. He guides me down to the basement, through some doors, and down the halls. It’s dark and I’m exhausted. “Tate, where are you taking me?” I asked him, terrified. He stopped and pointed to a ditch that his flashlight shined on.

“Is that?… Is that me?!” I gasp and cover my mouth with my hand. I glanced down at my decomposing body, disgusted and in disbelief, I began to panic again. “No, no!” I cried. Tate made it his duty to comfort me. I pushed him away once again.

“What the hell happened, Tate? Did you drug me or something? I don’t remember dying!” I yell at him, consumed with rage.

“No, (Y/N) of course not! You attempted suicide and took too many pills. I tried to save you. I dragged you into the tub with me and made you puke some out but it was no use. It was too late.” Tears fell from Tate’s eyes. “I’m so sorry, (Y/N). I’m so sorry I couldn’t save you.”

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner? That I had died?”

“I don’t know… I thought it’d be better if we died together. So you wouldn’t feel alone.” Tate shrugged his shoulders and sniffled. We walked back upstairs in silence.

“So, looks like I’m not going anywhere…” I gave him a weak smile. “And I guess I’m stuck with you in this house forever.” The weak smile turned into a smirk. He chuckled and smirked back at me.

“Tate,” I said.

“Yes?”

“Thank you.”

“For what?” He says, obviously confused.

“Attempting to save my life.” I said making unbreakable eye contact with him. We stood there for a moment. “Because I know saving lives isn’t exactly what you do…”

“I tried. I really did. I care about your feelings more than I care about mi-”

“Don’t say that, Tate. My life wasn’t going to be worth living anyways. I had nothing going for me. All I had was-”

“You.” Tate and I said at the same time. I nodded and smiled as my cheeks flushed red.

Tate brushed my hair behind my ear and pressed his lips to mine. He kisses me ever so softly and passionately. Running my hands through his hair, I kiss him back. Tate’s hands ghost down my body and up my shirt. His hands against my skin caused chills down my spine.

“You’re the only light I’ve ever known.” Tate pulls away for a splint second to pierce those words into my skull with his lips and the black holes that are his eyes staring back at me. Without saying a word, my eyes said everything for him to comprehend. I loved him and he loved me. There was no escaping one another.

Tate playfully throws me onto my bed. He hovers over me and kisses me hard. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him down. I tug on the collar of his shirt as I kiss him roughly.

“You make me a little less miserable.” He says with a smirk.

His Name [1]

Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8
Words: 5.5k
Genre: Angst, Multiple Personality!Au
Summary: Jeon Jungkook is a puzzle with too many missing pieces from his past and too many sides. Somehow, it’s become your job to solve him.
→ Inspired by the Korean Drama - Kill Me Heal Me
Warnings: Topics of mental health, mentions of death and medical disorders. 
Disclaimer: Although this piece of work required lots of in-depth research and was attempted to be as accurate as possible, at the end of the day, I am not a psychologist and this is fanfiction. Specific things may be altered or exaggerated for story-telling purposes. Please take all medical terminologies and procedures with a grain of salt.

Cr.

His eyes flash open.

“You need us.”
                      “Jungkook.”
    “We’re only trying to help you.”

He bolts straight up, only to fall off the mattress and onto the hard ground. The thin, cardinal curtains are closed, trickles of sunlight pouring in and painting the unfamiliar room in a hue of crimson. His head is pounding and his eyes are swollen; he doesn’t know where he is or who he is.

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Batfamily x Reader - Warrior (Pt 1)

TRIGGER WARNING: BLOOD, SUICIDE

Requested: no

Song: none

Word Count: 1471

MASTERLIST


It was humid and dark outside around 3:30 am at Wayne manor, no stars shown through the thick clouds and smog. You would think that when it’s humid, the air would smell fresh and clean, but not here. The air smelled stale and compressed, like it was trying to suffocate you, but didn’t put in enough effort to actually succeed.

The house was quiet and dark, empty and silent. The halls were eerily quiet and no shadows were cast on the walls because the moon was buried deep behind the seemingly millions of layers of smoke. It was pitch black and silent, except for one room. The light in your bathroom was on and barely audible cries came out muffled through your hands as you sat on the floor next to the sink.

A razor covered in thick, red, fresh, blood sat in the sink along with all of your soul, poured out of your body with your blood, as well as your will to live, and by the bottle of pills spilled all over the floor, you already knew this, yet the house stayed silent, as if it was holding its breath, awaiting your next move.

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I love you when I’m in pain, in the shower, in the dark. And mostly, when I’m scared of you. I love the feeling you give me like you know something I don’t. Nitya, do you know? Do you know that your heart is full of dandelion seeds? You are planted inside of my heart of soil.
—  T.S. // An excerpt from a letter to my best friend // @disappexring
Imperium-  Chapter 1

Woooahh thanks for the responses already! I’m really happy you guys are so excited for this fic. I am also pretty excited XD

It’s amusing reading what people think Richie’s power is. No one has guessed it hehe and I honestly doubt anyone will. 

Anyway, this is the prologue. I’m going to start chapter one and hopefully have it up next weekend. Thank you guys so much, and I hope you guys like it. 

Huge thank you to @reddieinthestars for being my beta <3 she really fixed it up. She’s amazing <3 

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Quit telling me to stop getting fucked up, if it weren’t for you maybe I’d be happy without downing a cup. This blunt is clouding the view of your hands on my waist, these pills are relieving my heart of this incredulous weight and this vodka is drowning my sadness and replacing it with hate. Don’t call me and tell me I’m wasting my youth, and please, don’t ask me to stay sober; because all my sober thoughts are of you.
—  g. r. g.
Your warm hands on my neck
I know it’s the pastel pill
Your breathe, burning as you speak
I am sure it’s the pastel pill
Those ocean eyes looked at mine
Deeply, I stared back
Oh, it was the pastel pill
Fingers of yours traced my lips
Gently pulled me, bitter and sweet pleasure
Pastel pill, pastel pill
“Is it too late, my love?”
You exhaled the words
I can taste that pastel pill
On your mouth, with your words, and in my chest
Ha, I took that pastel pill
For you are my drug
And we are running out of pill.
—  her (MIS), pill
Alone

Frozen stiff

I scream

But nothing comes out

Trembling won’t stop


My friends

Leaving in the distance

Caught in their lives

Me, left alone


Envious and angry

Boredom killing me

From the inside out

Taking myself to lower places


The strains of loneliness

Longing for a place

Somewhere to go

Find shelter in this cold world


No place to call home

Kicked around like dirt

The last one standing

No one’s left around


No more gang

Just myself in this void

Unbearable pain

Plaguing my nerves


Hiding in plain sight

Nowhere to go

Looking for an escape

Losing myself


Trying to find happiness

At the bottom of the bottle

Piling pills a mile high

Tearing my flesh apart


Finding my solutions

Hanging way up high

Or inside a steel barrel

On the cold floor

- A.R.G. // @frostmoarblog