spilled memories

You’re going to forget me. It won’t be fast or sudden or something where I’m clear one day and an empty space the next. But, slowly, you’ll forget the sound of my voice, and then you won’t be able to picture the shape of my face, and eventually you’ll be looking at the sky right before the clouds start pouring rain, and you won’t be able to quite place the familiarity of that color, but it will be the same gray-blue that is my eyes.
You’ll no longer know that, though. I’ll just be an outline, a blurry body of disconnected memories that occasionally fits into your past. And that’s okay. Some people aren’t meant to be remembered. I’m just one of those people.
—  H.L. // excerpt from a book I’ll never write #40
today i noticed that life is very short. life is so short that we must follow our dreams. that we must kiss the person we love. that we must say hello to strangers. eat that creamy chocolate bar we were craving. leave our friends and family with hugs and kisses instead of just saying goodbyes. we should look at the sky. gaze at the stars and count it too. smell the flowers, pick it and give it to your neighbours. look at our lovers face and memorize the twinkle in their eyes when they talk about their day. call our mothers. call our old friends. dance the night away till your feet give up. enjoy the little things before it’s too late. before it’s too late to enjoy life.
—  S.Bashir
08.06.2017
Everything about him was beautiful.
His hair, his eyes, his smile, his skin.
Even his back was beautiful.
But on the night he walked away
his back was the last image
I saw
and it was
the worst thing
to be seen.
—  Random Thoughts

And sometimes you’re sure
you don’t exist,
that this body you possess isn’t real.

And your thoughts are a puzzle,
impossible to stitch the parts back together,
like
you’ve lost the final piece.

—  charleigh aleyna.
3 AM on a Tuesday and instead of sleep, my heart demands more whiskey.
I am trying to erase this ghost of a feeling that wants nothing but to remember you at all times.
My ears long to hear your voice but I’ve already burned the bridge.
My Darling, I’m sorry I ended up being nothing like the person I promised you I would be.
I’m filled to the brim with guilt for not sticking by you as long as you would’ve let me.
You see, I’m not like the people who walk this earth only to love and love with all of their being and ask for nothing in return.
I still try to find constellations in your eyes and look for you in places even though I do not want to look at the love that I loved so dearly looking into the eyes of someone they call ‘home’.
You’ve occupied a lot of space in my heart and there’s nothing I could ever say or do to fall out of love with you but I hope, years from now, your name does not fill me with guilt but with sweet nostalgia that reminds me of a love that taught me how to live. A love that looked at all my scars and all my flaws but still chose to love me. A love that made sure I wasn’t fighting my battles alone. A love that held my hand in all my struggles and told me that there’s nothing in this world I couldn’t do. And most importantly, I hope, years from now, you forgive me.
But it’s 3 AM on a Tuesday and instead of sleep, my heart demands to forget you.
—  I tried so hard not to make this about you but you’re stuck in my head like a catchy beat on repeat. // Astha (via uponthisearth)

And all the sparks
were gone,
like—fading—fireworks
in the night sky,
all it has left—
were the echoes
of its booming sound—
and a burnt stick
falling right
to the ground.

Our memories
were loud enough
to drown the silence
that surrounds.

—  ma.c.a//Lights and Midnights
It just took me longer than most to realize who he really was,” she said on a sigh.

“You still love him though,” I reminded her.

“I can’t control that,” she whispers, “but whenever my heart aches for who I think he was, I am strong enough now to remind it of who he became and who he showed himself to be. Then I remember that I am in love with a memory and not with him anymore.
—  Excerpt of a book I’ll never write #145
Relationships suck. They’re great until they’re not and suddenly it’s over and every bit of happiness is ripped from your life. They say not to put your worth in the hands of other people but it’s hard not to when they leave you with the words ‘you’re not good enough anymore’ echoing in your head.
—  S.R.