spill food

Lives and Aesthetics of the Signs

Aries: Cannon ball diving into the pool, splashing everyone with water, and laughing. Yells obscenities at other drivers that piss them off. Always gets in trouble for being too loud in class. Will take any dare. Refuses to be told what to do and argues even when wrong. The life of the party.

Taurus: Sitting at the dinner table, eating, while reading a book on local edible plants. Goes for walks and puts random things he finds in his mouth. Will take any eating-related dare. Has tried just about every “strange” food known to man. Isn’t afraid of the “30-second” rule.

Gemini: Makes silly puns. Watches YouTube videos of baby animals and shows them to all of her friends. Full of questions. Constantly raises her hand in class, and can elaborate on a subject for an infinite amount of time. The one to start every conversation and the first to make friends in a new environment. Her laughter sounds like bubbles.

Cancer: Watches Disney movies way too much and probably cries during most of them. Shy. Avoids big responsibilities, often for fear of letting others down. Prefers to stay indoors and at home. Their “happy place” is inside, reading a good book, while wrapped in a cozy blanket on a rainy day. Very good at making up stories. Has vivid dreams and daydreams. Pretty good at baking.

Leo: Spends a lot of money on music festival tickets. Owns an entire shelf of different hair care products. Wears “loud” clothes and accessories to stand out. The friendliest jock you will ever meet. Great taste in the people they surround themselves with; they have no tolerance for bullies. Parties harder than anyone they know, and always posts photos of what they’re doing on social media. Probably invented beer pong.

Virgo: Owns several calendars. Maybe even a label maker. Has a blog about “Planners”. Finds pleasure in ritualistic cleaning and organizing. Great at planning events. Always prepared. Carries everything they think they might need in the purse they take with them everywhere (“Mary Poppins Bag”). Loves to write, and keeps around a dozen half-filled notebooks in her room. Very good at problem solving. Prefers to work alone.

Libra: Messy. Owns at least one exploding bin of art supplies. Creates everything that decorates her room. Verbally comments to appreciate the beauty surrounding her as she sees it. Stares into your eyes when listening to you. Can make up a conversation about anything. Talks constantly until she forgets that she’s still speaking and trails off. Reads people like books, and uses humor to explore boundaries and learn about others. Avoids confrontation. Good at lying. Can’t own a white shirt because she spills everything on it (food, paint).

Scorpio: Perpetual “emo phase”, internally or externally. Rarely talks about themselves. Can walk into a room and immediately understand the intentions and personality of each person in it, just by looking. Hard shell, soft insides. Their eyes are the only ones that light up and shine in gloomy weather. They can stare into your soul. Only sees things in black or white. Usually has great taste in music. Deeply loyal friends and partners to those they trust. Keeps a lot of secrets, both their own and of those they love.

Sagittarius: Fascinated by other cultures. Has or wants to travel to many different countries. Speaks at least three languages. Either deeply spiritual or religious. Ritualistic. Isn’t afraid to try new things. Loves mystery and adventure books. Very independent, and doesnt like feeling trapped. Has some sort of self-expressive medium that allows them to free their wings (art, music, dance, writing). Self-sufficient.

Capricorn: “Work hard, play hard” mentality. Typically very serious in nature. Always seems much more wise and mature than his peers. Has probably tried hard drugs at one point in his life. Firm in practices and beliefs. Good at keeping their word. Has one big obsession/hobby, like playing a certain game, collecting something, or working on something.

Aquarius: Has a very unique sense of humor that others don’t usually understand. Conspiracy theorist. Loves all helpless creatures and wants to protect them from the world. Activist and rebellious humanitarian. Insanely intelligent, but refuses to apply themselves to the school system. Learns very quickly. Good at public speaking. Probably the “class clown”.

Pisces: Stays home on weekends to sleep in. Has a dream diary. Typically pretty creative and may enjoy abstract painting. Musically gifted. Has been told that they “live in another world”. Slips easily into daydreams, and enjoys indulging in the fantasy worlds of books and stories that they read.

“Don’t fall in love with him,” her brain murmured.
“I want to,” said her heart, longingly.
“He’ll ruin you.”
There was a hesitant pause and then a hushed whisper. “I don’t care.”
Her brain gave a resigned sigh, for it knew that even the smartest of souls could not deny love.
It was the one thing logic could not triumph.
—  n.g // excerpt from a book i’ll never write #24
5

“What Shall I Do, Lemony Snicket?” from one of the special paperback versions of A Series of Unfortunate Events. I think this was from The Bad Beginning, or Orphans! 

I took these back in June of 2015 right after I graduated high school and was going to the campus university bookstore after our orientation and class scheduling. I’m glad I did because the bookstore doesn’t carry it anymore or else I would have totally bought it now. 

I just love these questions and answers, so I wanted to keep them as a means to laugh or smile when I was bored or upset. Now I felt like sharing them with you all. 

You see, you never really think your world is crashing and burning to the ground until you’re staring at it, shattered all over the floor. And I always believed that once you hit rock bottom, the only way you can go is up.

But things keep spiraling out of control. The days aren’t getting any better and I’m struggling just to breathe over here. I’ve been through hell and back and I’m not getting any silver linings.

I’m not going up.

I haven’t hit my rock bottom yet.

—  c.f. // “it’s only going to get worse”
at night, a bowl of almonds from your mother’s teacup,
the refrigerator humming. in the morning,
cold golumpki, straight from the tupperware.

tell me what’s so bad about leftovers?
everything comes from something.

i mean, honey, chocolate truffles, cappuccino milk,
me. is it time that is meaningless, or is it the weather?

i admire nature, this mountaintop, the way it rains here,
like god is crying, but god is not crying.

do you remember when the sun came up?
my legs were on your legs. i was wearing tights
because it was cold. i was wearing shorts
because it should’ve been warm.

that was the harvest of you loving me.

in some hemisphere, it must be spring.
in that place, we feast. in this place, we eat.

He was standing in front of her, arms crossed and jaw clenched tight.
“What do you want?”
His voice was dull, expressionless.

She took a sip of her coffee and glanced up at him, stalling. The hot liquid seared her throat but she didn’t seem to care. All she could notice was the way he kept his eyes on hers and how they expressed what his tone didn’t.
He often forgot that his eyes spoke what it was he wanted to hide.

“I want you to want me,“ she said cautiously.

His eyes changed from a murky blue to a stormy grey.

“You have no idea how much I do.”

—  n.g. // excerpt from a book i’ll never write #14

so your waiter makes a mistake..they might still have kids at home? paying off student loans? need to make rent this month? need to eat, need to survive? human error is no reason not to tip 

Bread

Every culture has its version
Pounded out, kneaded, fried, baked
Barley, wheat, corn, rye
Oat, rice, quinoa
Dumplings, loaves, biscuits
Unleavened, fruity, flat
Central to our consciousness
This life-affirming food

I remember mornings I spent in the school kitchen where my mother and my grandmother worked
How they made it all from scratch
The rising dough
The wondrous smells
The floured hands of women
Clean towels placed reverently over mighty, stainless steel tubs
How mysterious it was
How the dough doubled itself to feed us

There is something holy in the seemingly mundane ritual of its making
Its ever-presence in our lives

I remember patting the tops of the dough after it had risen
The drum-like quality of it
The simple, childhood songs I would play
That was holy too
That acceptance of everyday magic

Come, let us break bread

Azuki Lynn

I love how things can be taken out of context. For example, the quote “Maybe life isn’t for everybody.” Yeah, maybe the therapist is giving him permission to die but that’s what we want to think isn’t? We want to believe that someone else can have it that bad so we don’t feel so alone. We want our thoughts to be confirmed by others. But maybe that’s what makes this quote so beautiful. It could have just as easily been a reminder of hope. It could easily be followed up with, “But it is for you.” We don’t know the full story. But no. We will never be able to accept that. Because if we accept that that is even a possibility it goes against what we believe in. It makes us feel alone. It makes us feel lost at sea. Maybe that’s why the author wrote it that way. So that the dreamers keep dreaming and those who can’t get out of bed in the morning have a reason to believe they aren’t alone. Maybe it’s just showing us how meaningful a perspective can be.
—  words.by.a.boy // Maybe Life Isn’t For Everyone