spidey's not a model he swears!

peter never swears as spiderman, like he makes a point of not swearing as spiderman because spiderman is a hero that people look up to, so wade gets used to spidey just not saying anything entirely too questionable

and they get closer and share stories and end up talking at 2am on a roof with tacos about love and the universe, and after wade gets his mask ripped off, peter makes a gesture and takes off his own mask, and wade laughs at him bc you totally look like a nerd, i though you were gonna be like an underwear model or something, and peter tells him to shut up, and wade says make me, and peter kisses him and everything is amazing

so when wade shows up at peter’s place the next day with lunch and peter opens the door and says, “oh thank god, i’m fucking starving”, and wade just stops functioning, because that was probably just an auditory hallucination right, except its not and peter swears like a sailor and makes raunchy sex jokes that make wade blush and wade didn’t think peter could have been any more perfect, but he was wrong, he was so very fucking wrong